“Any good tips today?” I say as Hailey comes into my room, sighing, and holding her back. She’s wearing her work t-shirt, and her forehead is sweaty, holding her bangs in place.

“Ugh,” says Hailey, flopping herself down on my floor, sitting with her back against the bare wall. “Don’t ask me about it.”

“Sorry,” I say, trying to sound sympathetic, but it’s a little hard after my strange day at work.

“What about your day?” says Hailey. “You get to code like you wanted to?”

“No,” I say. “I was supposed to be reading this instead.”

I hold out the thick work binder that I brought home with me, even though I’m pretty sure it’s supposed to stay in the office. After all, it has the words “FOR IN-OFFICE USE ONLY” printed in huge letters on the front.

“Ugh,” says Hailey. “Looks like your day wasn’t much better than mine. So they’re going to let you code eventually, though?

“I don’t think so,” I say, explaining a little of what Jim/James told me.

Hailey’s not too sympathetic, though, which is understandable, considering how back breaking her job can be for so little money.

“At least you get a good salary,” she says.

“Yeah,” I say. “But I haven’t told you the craziest thing of all from today.”

“It’s about a boy?” she says, her eyes taking on that classic Hailey look.

“How’d you know?” I say.

“I can just tell. From your tone of voice. Your body language.”

Shit, I didn’t realize I was giving so much away. I was hoping to avoid telling her that I’m somehow unbearably attracted to this picture of Ryan Hudson. After all, he is the douchebag billionaire, possible one of the most hated men in all of San Francisco.

“Look,” I say, holding open the binder to the page that shows his photo. “Ryan Hudson is my boss. He owns the whole company. He started it all.”

Hailey bursts out laughing. “How did you not realize he was your boss? Didn’t they tell you about the company? And you’re like the queen of research. I thought you would have searched the shit out of the company you’re going to work for?”

“I guess I just didn’t care,” I say. “It seemed like such a boring company… I don’t know. I thought I’d be working for something else. I know I should be thrilled with the money, but now it’s like I won’t even be coding…”

“Let’s get back to your boss,” says Hailey, sitting up a little, a mischievous twinkle in her eye.

“Huh?”

“Well,” says Hailey, her voice turning coy. “He’s pretty hot, isn’t he?”

“I don’t know,” I say. “I hadn’t really noticed…”

“Come on,” says Hailey, swatting my leg lightly with a magazine. “Just because you’re a virgin doesn’t mean you can’t find guys sexy or hot.”

“Shhh,” I say, putting my finger to my lips.

“They’re not going to hear,” says Hailey, referring to our housemates. “They’re not even here.”

“Where are they, anyway?” I still don’t think I’ve met half of them.

“Partying, probably,” says Hailey.

“They haven’t been here in days, though.”

Hailey shrugs. “Long parties.”

“I just don’t want anyone else to know,” I say.

“It’s nothing to be embarrassed about,” says Hailey. “I mean, we’ve talked about it before, and you know it’s no big deal, either way…”

“I know, I know,” I say. “I just… it didn’t bother me for a while, but now it’s like I’m not a real adult or something, having never had sex.”

“Plus you’re missing out on a lot of fun… if it’s good sex, that is.”

“What makes it good?”

“You’ll know, trust me.”

My imagination starts to run wild, and it just so happens that Ryan Hudson is featured prominently in my imagination. But that’s just a wild fantasy. A billionaire and me? That’s completely crazy.

“We’ve just got to get you laid,” says Hailey. “That’s going to end this whole torment of yours. It’ll make things so much easier.”

I’m thinking of Ryan Hudson when I say it. I don’t know why I say it. It just comes out: “Let’s do it,” I say.

Hailey looks at me with surprise. “You serious?” she says. “I thought you wanted to meet the right guy and all that.”

“Screw that,” I say, this newfound reckless confidence overtaking me in a way I didn’t think possible. All I know is that it somehow has to do with how much I’ve been fantasizing about Ryan Hudson, the douchebag billionaire, and my boss… to the point where I actually broke the rules and took that binder home with me, even though, of course, I can get his pictures online.

“Wow,” says Hailey. “Are you serious?”

“Very. Let’s go out tonight and just get it over with. I don’t care if it’s good or not. I just want to get it done once and for all.”

But as I’m saying this, I’m already getting cold feet.

What, I’m going to just march into some bar, walk up to a guy, and tell him to take my virginity? Or maybe I shouldn’t tell him at all. Maybe it would freak him out.

“Don’t worry about it,” says Hailey, reading my anxiety correctly on my face. “It’s going to be fine. We’ll try to find someone who’s not too much of an asshole. Let’s eat, and then go out tonight. There’s a nice bar that’s not too grody or anything.”

“I don’t know about this,” I say. “Maybe it’s not such a good idea after all.”

Hailey sighs. “You’ve been talking about this for so long,” she says. “How it’s interfering with your life and everything, how you don’t feel like a real adult. I think you’re right, I think it’s time to just get it over with. Then you can move on to dating and real relationships and all that stuff.”

“But I never pictured it like this,” I say.

“We haven’t even gone to the bar yet,” she says. “You’re not in some guy’s bed yet.”

“But you know what I mean. I just thought… I don’t know, I’d be in a relationship or something.”

“At this point, your virginity is just holding you back from actually dating anyone. And you have to do that to get into a relationship.”

“You’re right,” I say. “Fine, let’s do it.”

“Great!” says Hailey. “You hardly ever come out with me. This’ll be fun! A girl’s night out. And don’t worry, I’ll keep an eye on you, and help you choose the guy.”

“You think it’s going to be that easy?” I say. “I mean, maybe we should just concentrate on having fun, and see what happens. I mean, how do we know someone’s just going to want to… have sex with me like that?”

Hailey looks me up and down and scoffs.

“You’re gorgeous,” she says. “Guys are going to be drooling all over you. You see? You haven’t been out in such a long time… too long.”

I blush a little. I’ve never been super confident in my appearance, especially now that I’m starting to um, blossom, like this, with all my curves growing bigger.

“I don’t know,” I say again.

“We’re going,” says Hailey, putting a note of finality in the conversation.

She heads back to her room, and I swallow hard, gulping. There’s a cold feeling of nervousness and anxiety in my stomach. What have I gotten myself into? I’m not ready for this.

To take my mind off things, I open up some computer code that I’ve been working on, just as an exercise for myself, and I let my mind sink deep into the C++ code, letting the algorithms, loops, and variables overtake me. Hey, it’s a way to get my mind off potentially losing my virginity to some idiot stranger.