Lars blood ran cold at Ollie’s words. He didn’t spare him a backwards glance, even though he heard the Chief curse him out for his lack of tact. He jogged after the ambulance as Tanner watched from the back as the whole encounter unfolded. Tanner sprang up when he heard Ollie’s words drift over and he turned, looking frantically at the paramedic.

“That’s my Gram! That’s my Gram! We need to get to her, now!” The paramedic looked confused and tried to calm Tanner down, but Tanner began pacing anxiously as Lars ran up beside them.

“Captain Mason, please sit down. We’ll transport you in a moment, we…”

“No! You don’t understand!” Tanner shouted at the young woman. “My Gram’s had an attack, we need to get to the hospital now!” He hollered. The woman, a short plump girl, looked around frantically for anyone who might help her restrain Tanner if he didn’t calm down.

“He’s just found out his Gram had an attack.” Lars explained, putting a hand on Tanner’s shoulder. “We need to get to the ICU now.”

“I understand, Sir, but there are protocols…”

“I don’t give a damn about your protocols!” Tanner shouted at her. She jumped and took a step back and Tanner turned to Lars.

“Gram…” He moaned in agony. She meant everything to Lars and he felt the stab of guilt for being the reason she had the attack.

“Come on, my truck’s over here.” He pointed to it so Tanner could see. They ran to it and Lars fumbled with the keys, as his fingers had gotten so cold when they had gotten wet. He managed to cram the keys into the ignition and start it up, revving the engine so that the defrost would work faster. He cursed at the piece of white paper, flapping under the windshield wiper that was obviously a parking violation ticket. Lars hadn’t even considered he was in a handicap spot when he had met George and Thomaston earlier that day.

It was almost dark now and it wasn’t like anyone other than he and George had intended to park down there, so he cursed at Ollie, knowing damn well it was just another jab the man could take to stick it to him. Tanner was doing his best impersonation of a gargoyle in the seat next to him, as he waited for the engine to warm enough so that he could drive. Lars knew he must be screaming on the inside, because he was himself. He hadn’t been able to stop screeching, “It’s not true! This can’t be happening!” Ever since Ollie had let the news slip.

Lars put the truck into drive and just as Ollie passed by, he caught the smirk on his face and he cursed at him through the window. He pulled his seat belt over his shoulder, not putting it past Ollie to come pull him over as he was trying to rush his friend to the hospital to see Shirley.

“Put your seat belt on.” He told Tanner flatly. He watched as he mechanically moved and grabbed it, and then fumbled with it, his own fingers just as numb. Lars grabbed the buckle from him and clicked it into place, and then laced his fingers through Tanner’s, squeezing them in reassurance as he put the truck in drive.

Tanner looked at him, pleading and he turned his attention to the road, maneuvering around the rescue vehicles. At one point he thought a paramedic was going to stand in front of his truck in order to check on Tanner, but mercifully they let him through until he was maneuvering the slick streets again. The Department of Transportation had been back through at some point that day, clearing away the remaining slush from the streets, but the residual dampness had iced over and Lars could feel the grit from the sand and gravel under the truck as the wheels found purchase on the roughness, in order to stop the truck from sliding along the road.

The drive felt as equally as eternal as the boat ride had. He drove in silence, still holding Tanner’s hand, who said nothing, but at least he didn’t try to pull his hand away. That was, until they reached the hospital, at last.

Without a word, Tanner got out of the truck at the main entrance to the hospital and Lars drove around the parking lot, picking out a spot to park. Tanner hadn’t waited for him to go in and check on Gram, but Lars couldn’t blame him. He couldn’t help but wonder what the heck they had ever done to deserve all of this. He wouldn’t be at all surprised if Tanner was angry with him. He put the truck in park and locked it, jogging to the entrance.

When he got inside, he was greeted with the mechanical sounds of machines beeping, and the sterile scent of alcohol and antiseptic that he had always associated with hospitals. The lights were harsh and he squinted as he strode up to the front desk. A tiny red-head was sitting behind the desk, looking tired and haggard. She must be nearing the end of her shift for the night.

“Where can I find Shirley Mason? Her grandson, Tanner just came in looking for her.” He told her. She eyed him up and down and he realized he must look ridiculous as he was still wearing the thickest of all of his winter gear.

“Are you family?” She asked dryly. He paused and nodded, not daring to answer in case by some bizarre sixth sense, she was capable of telling that he was lying. “Room 114.” She clipped.

He nodded again but looked around for signs on the doorways. The desk was in the center of the room and nearest the doors were waiting areas with chairs and benches and around the other side of the desk, were the ICU rooms. He found the doorway he was looking for and strode over to it. The doors were mostly all propped open, to give the medical staff the ability to access the patient easily in the event that their condition took a turn for the worst. Lars noted that Shirley’s did have a curtain pulled around her bed for privacy.

He pulled the curtain back to find Tanner sitting beside the bed, holding her hand. A doctor was present, speaking in a maddening monotone voice. His balding head shone under the light. Tanner looked up and Lars nearly crippled and fell to his knees at the look of anguish on his face.

Gram wasn’t gone yet, but her face was ashen, and Lars wondered if she would live out the next hour, let alone through the night. The doctor was relaying the events of the heart attack. Her Life Alert had notified the paramedics when she fell, after she had gotten off the phone with Chief Bennington. The doctor said,

“Can I help you?”

Lars looked at Tanner who said nothing but turned back to Gram.

“How is she doing?” He croaked out. Lars hated how worn Tanner looked. His eyes were sunken, and his lips were cracked from the cold. He needed medical attention himself, but Lars doubted he was going to part from Gram’s side long enough to seek it out.

“I was just explaining to Captain Mason his grandmother’s condition.” The doctor droned. He needed to improve his bedside manner, Lars thought bitterly. He wondered if it was the doc’s final leg of his shift too. He looked as tired as the nurse at reception had. He also wondered if it was just the weather, it seemed to drain the life from people when it was this bad.

“Is she…is she going to pull through?” He dared to ask the question. The doctor gave him a calculating look, obviously assessing if he was family or not, but to save time, he seemed to think twice before demanding an explanation of his presence.

“It’s difficult to say at this point. She will need surgery. Captain Mason will have to sign the papers for the bypass, as she is unable to consent to treat herself. It doesn’t appear as if there is a do not resuscitate in her file. So if the surgery is to be done, it should be done as soon as possible.” He told him. Lars nodded as the doctor stood up, setting the clipboard with the forms Tanner needed to sign on the bed. “I’ll be back in a few minutes. If you want her to have the bypass, we really can’t wait any longer than that.” He pulled the curtain back and gave them a moment of privacy. Lars was only comforted in the beep of the machine that was hooked up to Gram with a bunch of tubes and wires. The beeping was erratic, not a good sign so Lars looked at the papers and at Tanner.

“Tanner.” He said his name softly. Tanner looked up with tears in his eyes.

“I just can’t catch a break.” He said quietly. “I’m not ready to let her go yet. I’m not ready.”

“Then sign the papers. Let them try.” Lars urged him. He was worried for Gram, yet a small part of him was more worried for Tanner’s well-being, as the man didn’t look well. At least Gram had a good run of life. At eighty she had lived a full life and if things went bad, at least Lars would still have Tanner, but if Tanner was suffering from the effects of being out in the cold all night…Lars shuddered at the thought of what he would be reduced to if he lost Tanner again.

“I don’t know if it’s what she would want.” Tanner choked out. “We never talked about stuff like this. I never let her. She’d make a joke about wanting nothing more than a pine box but only if it was real Maine pinewood but…” He trailed off.

“Then let her decide all that when they fix her. You said it yourself, you don’t know, but even if she does come back, she’s at least got that last decision.” Lars responded kindly. There was no way he could reason with Tanner who looked as lost as a puppy. Lars worried that if he didn’t even try he would hate himself more, so he picked up the clipboard and handed it to Tanner, giving him the pen which was already uncapped and ready to use. “Let them try.” He murmured again.

Tanner took the clipboard with a shaking hand and scribbled his signature next to the tabbed lines and then let it fall limply into his lap. It was as if the doctor sensed the consent was given because he poked his head back in and looked at the clipboard, then was followed by a herd of nurses who forced Lars to step back out of the way.

Tanner rose and stepped back, joining him against the far wall, as they wheeled Gram out of the room. He seemed to sag a little and Lars shot out a hand, steadying him and then wrapping his own arm around his shoulders, keeping him upright.

The red-head nurse from reception came back in the room to sort out whatever medical equipment had been left behind, and seeing the two she asked,

“Is he ok?”

“Actually, no. Can we get someone to check him over? He was the captain who found the sailing couple and was outside in the storm all night. He just got the news about his Gram when we got back.”

“Lars, I’m fine. I…” But Lars cut him off.

“Just get checked over while Gram is being seen to. Then once you know for certain, you can focus all your attention on her.” He said firmly. The nurse, as tired as she looked, seemed to agree with him because she pressed a button on one of the machines which sent another, plump brunette with freckles on her face and a pixie cut scurrying into the room. Lars noticed that her white shoes squeaked on the floor, but only because the noise seemed deafening to him. He noticed just how tired he himself felt, and it was like the weight of the stress over the last few days hit him all at once.

“Jill, can we have these two men checked out. Captain Mason here was out all night with the sailing couple and Mr….?”

“Lars. Just Lars.” He smiled at her kindly.

“Mr. Just Lars here seems to be suffering from some exhaustion, or pretty close to it. Jill nodded, and Lars couldn’t argue with her. The room felt instantly tiny and the air seemed to be sucked out of it all at once. His collar felt tight and he pulled at it as he began unbuttoning his coat and unzipping it. He had too many layers on, that was it. The one thing keeping him grounded and falling into a full on panic attack, was that Tanner was still present in the room, and he looked worse than Lars felt.

“Lars!” She said rushing over to him, looking alarmed. “Lars, just breath, lower your head between your legs. That’s it. You’re having a panic attack. Just breath.” She seemed to sense what had been coming when he started tugging on his collar and unzipping his coat. Lars did as she instructed and lowered his head between his legs and took a few deep breaths to calm himself down. She started with vitals on Tanner and then called in a different doctor, a middle aged female with iron gray hair and a kind smile. Doctor Shelby was her name and she looked at the pair of them sitting there waiting for Gram and shook her head.

“Word’s gotten around about you two.” She told them. Lars couldn’t even manage a weak smile, he nodded and Tanner stared at her, glossy eyed.

“Any word about Gram?” He asked but she shook her head.

“No. I wish I had news but I’m not the provider on your Gram’s medical case. I’m here to check you over.” She told him firmly. Lars stood to leave. “Where are you going?” She asked.

“Figured I’d give you some privacy. Doc and patient confidentiality and all that.” He finally managed to smile.

“Stay.” Tanner whispered, and Lars immediately complied. Doctor Shelby looked between the two of them and then handed Tanner a hospital gown.

“It’s just so we can treat you for the frost bite. I don’t think yours is as severe as the couple, but we’ll want to admit you to be sure anyway.

“Look, Doctor Shelby,” His voice was hoarse. “Just treat me, ok? I don’t want to be admitted. I want to be right here when they bring her back.” He told her.

She bit her lip and then said, “It’s going to be hours before they do. I’ll have Sylvia bring in a portable bed, so you can lie down while you wait.” She nodded to the red head who must be Sylvia.

They both stood and walked out, giving Tanner the chance to change into the hospital gown. Lars noticed some scratches on his torso as he did.

“What happened?” He asked.

“Marshmallow sticks.” Tanner replied, giving him a half-hearted smile. Lars returned it. Spruce trees meant one of two things to them as kids. Lars’ Dad always threatened to go carve a switch and beat their butts when they were up to no good. Of course, he never did, but the boys knew from carving them with the Swiss Army Knives just how lethal the switches could be because they served another purpose. They made the best marshmallow sticks to roast marshmallows over the bonfire at the cabin during the summer. The best ones came from Spruce trees, like the ones on the island that Lars had found them in the lean to. The wood was green and easily bendable without breaking, but if it was cut thin and reedy enough like a marshmallow stick, if it whipped back and hit your skin, it left red welts. Tanner must have been bending the branches to saw at them and break them in order to create the shelter, and his grip must have slipped a few times to receive welts like that. Lars felt for him.

“What happened out there, Tanner?” It was the first time he had dared to ask. The grounded Life Boat and the lean to, it made sense, somewhat, but the details were hazy.

“I was just about to give up and call it a night, when I was passing the island. By some chance I saw the flag of red Jasper had tied to the tree. It was just barely visibly in the storm and in the dark. I wondered if they had just pulled the sail boat to shore and were using it as shelter. I tried to get in close, but I pushed too far and hit the rocks. The transponder on top of my boat dislodged and fell, that’s when I lost radio contact. I used my dingy and rowed into shore, must have drifted off at some point.”

“Yeah, we never found it.” Lars confirmed for him.

“I figured. When I found them, they were already half frozen, siting under the flag. I dragged them into the bushes to get out of the direct contact with the wind. I made the lean to and huddled under it, waiting for the storm to blow over and to see if anyone came to help. I don’t know where their boat is. Lost I guess. They must have blown into the cove too, and salvaged the sail, thinking the bright color would serve as a beacon. Smart thinking in the moment.”

“It would have been smarter if they had stayed out of the water like the marina warnings suggested.” Lars clipped out bitterly. He was still having a hard time processing the fact that he had almost lost Tanner, again. His mind didn’t want to seem to dwell on it too long. Every time the thought marched into his brain, the other half seemed to march it right back out to the tune of stress, anxiety and fatigue. His brain was in denial.

“True, but what’s done is done.” He replied. He fell silent and Lars was able to guess at the rest of what happened. They had remained there the rest of the night, letting the snow insulate them while they huddled together for warmth. It must have been agony, and Lars could only fight back the tears as he thought about how Tanner must have felt. He hated himself for being annoyed with Tanner that he had gone out after them. He had worried something bad would happen, and it had. But that couple would definitely not have made it if he hadn’t, so Lars felt even worse for being annoyed in the first place. He could only guess at what Tanner was feeling.

Doctor Shelby came back in and gave him an examination. He was a little dehydrated and the welts from the branches would bruise but eventually heal on their own. She wasn’t worried about the frost bite. It wasn’t as bad as she had thought, and he was starting to regain feeling in the couple of areas that were affected, so she prescribed him some pain killers because it was going to start to hurt until the blood began to circulate properly again.

She next turned her attention to Lars who smiled and shrugged. “I’m ok Doc. Just a lot of anxiety lately. No frostbite here.” He told her.

She gave him a shrewd look then handed him a script for panic attacks and anxiety attacks and he pocketed the paper, not planning on using it. Anyone would have needed a moment after all that, right? When she left, she told Tanner to lie in bed and rest, and when it was time to bring Gram back in, they would wake him and wheel the temporary bed out. He complied, and Lars quickly sank into his vacated seat. He held out his hand, which Lars gratefully took, and he was just leaning in to kiss his forehead as his eyes started to flutter closed, despite his adamant intentions to remain awake until Gram had come back, the doctor must have given him a strong pain killer, when the curtain swung open again. Lars cursed under his breath as Ollie snarled,

“This is a public hospital! Don’t be doing that where anyone can see!”

“This is a private room, Ollie.” He retorted.

“I still need statements from you two.” Ollie countered, whipping out a notebook. Lars thought he was full of it, and he didn’t know how he had weaseled his way in here, but Tanner looked at him evenly and said,

“Get out. This is Gram’s room and you aren’t welcome here.”

Ollie looked taken aback, but then smiled. “Maybe I should cite you for indecency in a public place.”

“What’s your real reason for being here Ollie?” Lars sighed. “Come to gloat?”

“You got me put on administrative warning.” Ollie hissed. Lars was confused, then he remembered the words exchanged on the dock.

“So, Chief Bennington finally saw through you huh?” He asked. He was too damn tired to care if he was walking the fine line between civil and downright rude.

“Bennington would have looked the other way, but apparently you’ve got Thomaston and George all wrapped up in your nonsense. Sympathizing with you and everything. They’ve filed a formal complaint. Told Bennington that I’ve been harassing you at the pub. Told him if he didn’t do something about it, they’d go higher up. Get Hank involved.” He growled. That got Lars’ attention. He had figured they would give statements and go home. He never thought in a million years they would file a harassment complaint on his behalf. Which then begged the question,

“So why are you here Ollie? To harass us some more?” He asked wearily.

“I’m here to tell you, when I’m chief, I’ll make damn sure your kind don’t get away with nothing! You might be able to scare Bennington into being all diplomatic, but I know better!” With that, he turned and stormed out, never having obtained the statements he claimed to have come in for. Not that Lars thought that was the real reason he was there. He knew better, but the news still shocked him anyway.

“Well, dayum. There it is.” Tanner said weakly as his head lolled back against the pillow. Lars kissed his forehead, and just as he was about to sit back down, Tanner tilted his chin up and presented his mouth, which Lars wasted no time, claiming his lips. He had wanted to kiss him since he had gotten him back, but there had been too much going on. It was like his brain was finally able to process that he was there, present and alive and he was going to be ok.

Lars kissed him softly, mindful of the fact that his chapped lips probably stung. He put all of the tenderness and consolation he could muster into the kiss and tried to relay it through his lips. Tanner moaned under him and when they broke off, his eyes were wide and vulnerable. Lars hadn’t asked how Tanner was doing in terms of Gram. He hadn’t needed to. She was his rock, and with her down, Lars had to step up to the plate. He wasn’t as direct as Gram in his approach, but he hoped Tanner understood he was there for him no matter what. Tanner had been through the ringer and back the last few days, and Lars knew he must be in an emotional state of upheaval that far superseded his own. He held out his hand to Tanner, who wound his fingers in his own and it was less than five minutes and he had drifted off to sleep. Lars felt like he should remain awake, just in case, but he soon found himself with his head bent, dosing off in the chair by the bed. They were both awoken a few hours later when Grams doctor came in with the news of her surgery.