Chapter 34
RHETT
After stealing that kiss from Evie in Miss Sebastian’s study, all I can think about is being alone with her.
Pretending that I wasn’t being eaten alive by desire was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. But I pulled it off, and as I’m walking Evie to her front door, I’m not sure I have the strength to say good night.
I remove her keys from my pocket and unlock her door.
A faint blush colors her cheeks, and she looks shyly up at me. The look alone is enough to bring me to my knees, but then she says, “I know it’s late… but,” she bites her bottom lip, and her eyes drop to my chest.
“But?” I ask, needing her to complete that sentence, more than I need my next breath.
“You’re going to think it’s too soon,” her shoulders slump a little, “but I’d like it if you came in.”
Nervously, she tucks some curls behind her ears.
“Stay the night,” she whispers so softly that if my eyes weren’t glued to her lips, I might not have heard them.
I take a step closer to her and placing a finger under her chin, I nudge her face up until our eyes meet.
“Are you sure?” I ask. “I can wait.”
Fuck no, I can’t! I’m dying here, and only Evie can save me.
I fight my need for her, wanting the moment to be right for both of us, not just me.
“I’ve been sure since I woke up to you humping my butt,” she teases.
“If only you knew what I was dreaming about,” I tease her back.
I take another step forward, and she matches me by taking one backward, and into the apartment.
She grips hold of the door, and I step to the side so she can close it. I wait for her to lock it, but when she reaches for the light switch, I grab her hand to stop her.
“Leave it off,” I whisper. Even though it’s dark, I can still see Evie with the moonlight shining in through the window.
I pull her closer, and when we’re standing toe to toe, I bring both my hands to her face. I brush my knuckles over her silky skin, savoring the feel of her.
“I want to touch every inch of you, Evie,” I growl, unable to keep the desire I feel for her at bay much longer.
The exhilaration coursing through my veins is unlike anything I’ve experienced before.
She doesn’t move a muscle as her big eyes shine in the dark. “Touch me then.”
“I won’t be able to stop,” I warn her, scared by the tension coiling in my chest and the hunger flooding my gut.
“I don’t want you to stop.”
My hands are actually shaking as I drop them to her shoulders, and brushing them down her arms, I savor how delicate she feels.
I’ve never been so anxious to be with someone before. My breaths speed up until I’m afraid I’m going to pass out from too much excitement and lack of oxygen.
She tilts her head, and bringing a hand to my cheek, she whispers, “What’s wrong?”
I try to slow my breaths by reminding myself that this is Evie. I love her. I’ve wanted this moment for so long. But as I remind myself of what Evie means to me, my heartbeat joins my breaths in a race to see who can kill me first.
I never thought I’d say the words, but yet it’s the sound of my voice filling my ears.
“The anticipation is a little overwhelming.”
“Do you want to stop? I’ll understand.”
She’s so gentle with me right now, it’s breaking my heart. I close my eyes and admit the truth to her.
“I’ve never been with someone I love. I’m not sure I know what to do.”
Evie’s quiet for a moment and I wait to hear the words, as she calls me out for being a manwhore.
“Will you let me show you?”
My eyes open and I stare at the amazing woman in front of me. Instead of telling me I’m full of shit, she once again sees the part of me, so few have seen.
The part that’s terrified of giving myself entirely to another person.
The part that only fucks, because making love to a woman will give her the power to destroy me.
The part of me that’s been dying to be saved, to be loved, to be wanted for who I am.
“Yes,” I whisper, giving Evie access to all that I am.
The reckless fool who kept her at a distance.
The careless joker who tried to convince himself he didn’t need her.
The heartless bastard who fucked everything with a pulse and didn’t care what he was doing to the woman he claimed to love.
The ruthless asshole who broke her heart and let her go.
But most of all – the shameful man.
Taking hold of my hand, she leads me to her bedroom. This time I don’t stop her from switching on the light. She kicks off her shoes and then kneels at my feet.
She unties the laces of my boots before pulling them off one at a time. When I’m barefoot, she stands up and taking hold of the hem of my shirt, she pushes it up my chest and over my head.
Dropping the shirt to the floor, I’m not prepared for the sensations leveling me as Evie presses a kiss to the center of my chest.
Her breaths are hot on my skin as she kisses her way to my collarbone. Placing her hands on my shoulders, she lightly brushes the tips of her fingers down my chest, making every muscle I have, ripple with pleasure.
I’m so captivated by Evie that my nerves settle enough for my desire to take back control.
I place my hands on Evie’s hips, and as I begin to move them higher, I push her shirt up until she’s free of it.
Her curls drop back against her creamy skin, and the contrast is so stark, it isn’t conceivable that anything more exquisite than this woman exists.
My hand slips behind her back, and I unclasp her bra. Taking hold of the straps, I begin to pull them down her shoulders. I drop it to the floor as I drink in the soft swells and tight nipples and suddenly can’t wait to taste her. My mouth starts to water.
I unbutton her jeans, and as I pull down the zip, my eyes dart up to Evie’s face to make sure she’s still okay with this happening between us.
Seeing the tears glistening on her cheeks, all but stops my heart. I frame her face and lean closer.
“What’s wrong?”
She shakes her head and sniffs. “It’s the way you’re looking at me. It makes me feel like I’m… more. I didn’t know how much I needed it until I saw the look on your face.”
“You’re not more, Evie,” I whisper as I press my forehead to hers. “You’re everything.”