Damn. Becca had smelled as good as she looked. Not really a surprise, Jase thought as he headed down the snow-packed gravel road to his mother’s house. The field that connected their homes was a more direct route, but at this time of year the snow was too deep. He’d end up with it inside his jeans.

Plus, he didn’t mind a little more time to cool down after that surprise encounter. He hadn’t really intended to lean down and kiss Becca, but he’d wanted a good excuse to get close. That, and he couldn’t help himself. Sitting at the table watching her, all he’d been able to think about was how long it had been since he’d seen her. Thought about her. And of course, how gorgeous she was.

Becca had always been a beauty, and he’d always noticed. He could very clearly recall the summer before he’d enlisted, when she’d appeared at the city pool in a new polka-dot bikini. At the time he worked across the street at the Petro station and would take his break when she and Hannah would get there, just so he could check her out behind his sunglasses. Hell, every man in the vicinity—young and old—had been mesmerized. And she’d only been sixteen. Now at nearly thirty she was just as lovely.

Hannah and Becca looked a lot alike, but they were fraternal twins. Where Hannah was taller, with a slightly more athletic build and dark-brown hair, Becca was curvy and soft with long legs and light sun-streaked hair. Both girls had been pretty, but for some reason Becca had always been the one the guys talked about the most. Probably because she’d never shown them any interest, whereas Hannah had teased and flirted with everyone. Guys were stupid that way, always secretly pining for what they couldn’t have. And Becca’s aloof demeanor had only reinforced what he already knew—she was a bit stuck up.

She’d been pleasant this morning, but they were grown now. No reason to be petty or immature about anything, and it really didn’t matter what she thought about him these days. Jase was confident in the man he was. Proud of his time in the army and now the National Guard, and proud of the business he was currently building. That was really all that mattered.

As he always did after spending time at the Walters house, Jase noticed the stark difference when he stepped through his mother’s front door. She preferred it dark. Curtains drawn, lights dimmed, depressing. She got headaches frequently and usually slept late. He was grateful to find she was still in bed.

Jase felt sorry for his mother—to a point—but he also held a lot of resentment inside toward the woman who’d never taken them out of a horrible situation. He knew his father had broken her. Manipulated her. But it was hard to believe that her concern for her only child hadn’t been enough to motivate her to run. Instead they’d learned to hide. Lie. Cover up.

Jase quietly moved through the house, into the kitchen, and then out onto the back porch where he’d set up a room for himself. He’d moved back to his childhood home for two reasons: for convenience, and to save money while he got his business going. There was nothing easier than walking out your front door to get to work. But although it was the home he’d grown up in, he’d been unwilling to move back into to his old bedroom upstairs. Too many bad memories, plus it felt too strange to be a wall away from his mother. The back sunporch had always been his refuge, anyway, so it seemed a natural choice to turn it into a makeshift home for himself.

The windows were glassed in, not just screened, so that helped with the winter cold. He’d also installed a vintage wood-burning stove he’d picked up at an estate sale. It had been easy enough to vent it out the side wall, creating quite a cozy little space. He still had to go upstairs to shower, but that wasn’t so bad. And although his mother had never had any interest in coming out here over the past few years, he’d installed an additional lock on the door leading from the house, assuring himself privacy when he was home.

It was a temporary solution, for sure, but nothing about his life made him feel rushed to change things up. He was single, his business was young—and who knew if it would even turn out to be a success. Plus he didn’t gamble, so there was no chance he’d be coming into a fortune anytime soon. For now, this arrangement suited his purposes just fine.

Jase took off his coat and hung it on a hook, then toed off his boots. He couldn’t deny being a slight bit shaken by the interaction with Becca. Then again, he’d always been hyperaware in her presence. Of himself and how he must look to her, and of course always aware of how beautiful she was. Having her serve him breakfast had been a nice treat. By the end he was even enjoying the fake bacon.

It was a shame he hadn’t seen her in so long, but even though he’d enlisted and been several states away at the time, he’d known she’d gone away to college almost the minute she’d earned her high school diploma. Her anxiousness to get out of Pierson had been obvious, but he’d been surprised she hadn’t gone to Kansas State like almost everyone else. It was just south, in Manhattan, and had a great teaching program—which was what she’d needed. But no, she’d made a point of going several hours away, once again proving how much she thought of herself and how little she’d thought of her hometown. Hannah, on the other hand, had done the expected and gone to K-State.

Maybe Becca had changed, Jase thought to himself as he stripped out of his Henley and tossed it into a nearby chair. She’d moved to a bigger city, was a lot more mature. This morning she’d seemed pleasant, if not a little reserved. He should be a gentleman and reserve judgment on her until they’d spent a little more time together. He certainly wasn’t the same man he’d been at eighteen.

His phone rang, the ridiculous song Hannah had downloaded to his phone to serve as her ringtone. It was rather early for her to call, so he yanked it out of his pocket and hit ACCEPT.

“Hey,” he said in answer.

“Good morning, sunshine,” she said, her voice raspy. She’d obviously just woken up, and sounded very healthy and safe, so Jase blew out a breath and sat down on his bed.

“Morning. What are you doing calling so early? It’s Saturday,”

“Yes, it is, which is why I wanted to get ahold of you before you make plans with some hot woman and make me jealous.”

She said things like that all the time, and yet she never put herself in any hot woman’s place and made a move. He’d really given up on that ever happening. Wasn’t sure if he even wanted it to anymore, or if he ever had.

“What did you have in mind?” He almost hated himself for not just saying he already had plans. Why did he allow Hannah to dictate what he did? Because they’d established these odd roles and he felt obligated? Maybe because he enjoyed being used? Hard to tell these days, but he had a feeling it was just the path of least resistance.

“Well, you know I’ve kind of been seeing Jonas.”

Jase nearly rolled his eyes. Instead he scratched his forehead. “Yeah. I do know.” She’d been seeing the guy on and off since the spring. Funny how she felt free to do whatever the hell she wanted, and yet if he had a one-night stand he felt like he’d done something wrong. Not that she ever asked. Too often, anyway. Her style was more snide pouty remarks. Speaking of questions, the one Jase kept wanting to ask was who the hell named their kid Jonas? He refrained.

“Anyway, I know Becca’s in town now, so I just thought we could all meet up at the Belfry tonight. Jonas is playing with his band.”

Oh hell no was of course what Jase wanted to say. Instead he heard something else escaping his lips. “Okay, sure.”

She rattled off some details, which he asked her to text him because he couldn’t promise remembering.

“Are you going to bring a date?” Hannah asked.

Why did she pose questions like this? It was awkward. They were awkward. “Probably not.”

“You’re going to die single, aren’t you?” she teased.

“Don’t worry about me, I’m good.” And he was, although he felt like telling her that if he did die single it was partly her fault, but that wouldn’t be fair. They’d been close their entire lives. Written letters for years while he was deployed. Now they were each other’s go-tos. It wasn’t her fault that she’d been his person for years. Their relationship was safe. Easy.

And squeaky clean. The reason his friends gave him shit for it all the time. They could not understand allowing a woman to have the kind of control over your time and energy the way he allowed Hannah to have, without some kind of mutual physical benefit. Sometimes he wondered the same.

They got off the phone and he lay back on his bed, staring up at the wood-slatted ceiling of the porch. Growing up, he’d loved spending time at the Walters house. It was the only time he’d felt a sense of happiness and family. Part of him wanted to re-create that for himself now, as a man. But the more realistic side of him knew that it was probably not meant to be. His paternal role model for the first decade of his life was a drunk, abusive piece of shit. So Jase didn’t really feel confident trying his hand at the whole marriage-and-family thing. That was one of the reasons he’d held back on making a move with Hannah, because he knew that had to be what she was looking for. It was what she’d grown up with.

As much as he’d loved and appreciated living at the periphery of the Walters family’s life, Jase realized he was probably better off remaining a loner. He also knew that it was probably time to start putting up boundaries with Hannah. Not even a man named Jonas wanted to compete with a childhood friend. Of that, Jase was certain. He and Hannah had become too comfortable in their needy roles. It was time to move on from things that were never meant to be.