The sun was up bright and early and so was Greyson. It was Saturday and we had our usual routine—up early to eat, play and dress, then out the door to see Galen. Only today, we would have an extra visitor coming with us. I told Bethany last night to meet us at Laurel Grove around eight. I knew it was early for her, but I also knew she needed to get ready for the party. Plus, she was at my house really late.

It was hard, so fucking hard, to put her in that car and send her home. I wanted so much to take her upstairs, put her in bed, and have her the entire night. I wanted those legs wrapped around me. I wanted to see if I remembered all the places to touch her to make her scream and squirm. But after some very heavy kisses and my cock begging for release, I walked her to the BMW and watched her drive away.

That’s the last time that will happen.

I picked up Greyson from his place on the floor. He was full of mashed bananas and his brand new formula. He was dressed in his favorite blue and white onesie covered in dinosaurs. He woke up happy and smiling, but he was also looking around for his friend from last night.

God, it made me smile.

Checking to make sure I had my keys and his bag, I headed for the door. After locking up, we headed for that big black monstrosity of a truck. I loved it as much I hated it, since it had been Galen’s one indulgence.

I strapped Greyson in, made sure he was secured, and had his bottle to hold onto.

“Alright, Greyson. Let’s go see your mom and dad.”

The sky was such a brilliant blue. The birds’ songs were the only sounds in Laurel Grove. There was a feeling of such reverence and respect for those taking their final rest. I had told Bethany where to meet us, but I didn’t wait for her. I needed to talk to my brother and tell him everything that had happened the last couple of days.

Greyson and I walked silently to a shaded corner of the cemetery. I brushed some fallen leaves from the top of the headstone marking my brother and sister-in-law’s final resting place. Side by side in peace, as they had been in life.

Galen Marcus Alexander—Soldier. Husband. Father. Son. Brother.

Maxine Greyland Alexander—Wife. Mother. Daughter. Sister.

Both gone way too soon.

This never got easier. It felt like my soul was missing two pieces.

My sister-in-law was one of the most amazing people to walk this earth. Strong and resilient. She had gone through hell, living in foster care, only to be bounced back to a mother who only wanted her for the money she could bring in stealing and selling drugs. She survived so much, and I could do so little to save her in the end.

The greenest grass lay on their grave, and I bent with Greyson to have a seat.

“Hey, man. Hello, Maxi. It’s another Saturday; so, of course, I brought your son to see you. He had an appointment with Dr. Patel yesterday. Doc says he’s growing beautifully, but he’s got an allergy to milk. So, new formula and new meds. He’s doing okay. God, I was so worried about the appointment. He’s all we have left of you two.”

The pain bites at me. The grief threatens every single Saturday to swallow me. Galen wasn’t supposed to go before me. He was supposed to watch his son grow. He was supposed to teach him to ride a bike, play football… woo a girl with Mom’s cookies. I took in a deep breath and let it go while trying to find the strength to not fall apart.

“Galen, I’m sure you’ll appreciate me being so wrong about Bethany. She’s home and we’ve talked about everything. She’s beautiful. She’s still so fucking beautiful that it feels like my heart could explode. And damn, man. She still loves me. I was wrong, Galen. I shouldn’t have kept her away. Not when I needed her so much.”

As always, when we come here, Greyson is so quiet and still. It’s as if he knows why we’re here and he can feel his parents’ presence. His head was turned toward his mother’s name today, and I wondered what conversation they may have been having. Maybe I was supposed to tell her about last night.

“Maxi, last night Greyson met Bethany. Yeah, Galen, I had her over,” I replied, as if my brother was here to make some sort of crack at me.

“They clicked almost instantly, sis. It was a gorgeous sight but it hurt too. Bethany is going to be an amazing part of his life, but she will never be you.”

“I’ll never ever replace you. But I can vow to love him with all my heart.”

I startled at the sound of her voice. I glanced over my shoulder and she was there behind me. She took my breath away, dressed so respectfully in a pale pink sundress and black strappy sandals. I could see the grief and pain in her eyes, and droop of her shoulders. For her, losing Galen was a new horror, only to be compounded by learning Greyson’s mother was right next to her husband here in Laurel Grove.

Hearing her talk was the first time Greyson stirred. He sat up from my lap and smiled his best gummy grin at her. Then he reached for Bethany. She walked around me and gathered him close with a smile, while her eyes still held that sadness, I knew holding Greyson helped to move some of it away.

It helped me too.

“You made it.”

“Of course.”

“You had a long night,” I mentioned with a knowing smile.

“Best night in a long time. Isn’t that right, sweet boy?”

Greyson cooed at her, grabbing for her hair and then her cheek. He turned back to his mother’s name on the marble stone and blinked. To me, it was as if he was telling his mother that he would be okay with Bethany and that Maxi didn’t need to worry. The moment struck me, and the hairs rose on my arms. Greyson was where he was supposed to be.

I turned back to their quiet graves and got ready to say goodbye for another week. The hardest part of any visit here was walking away. It felt like I was leaving them behind. I wanted them here with us. I ran my hand across Maxi’s name, each letter, and then placed a kiss on the stone. I turned and traced the letters of my brother’s name and I couldn’t hold back the tears.

“Baby brother… I miss you so much. It’s so hard. It’s so fucking hard doing this without you. Greyson needs you so much. Mom is slipping more and more every day. Why can’t you be here? Why can’t you be here?!”

The pain seemed to pour from me. Everything that I had been holding onto… the anger of losing my only brother to an ambush, the despair of watching his wife wither away after an emergency c-section, listening to the bitter wails of my mother as she mourned the son she was just truly getting to know again.

I beat the stone and screamed, asking God why over and over again. Why my brother, why Maxi, why did it have to be me to raise this boy? Why?

I felt caring hands, strong and sure, on my shoulders. Then gentle fingers in my hair. I heard a warm voice whispering words of comfort and love into my ear. I heard her tell me to take my time. She would take Greyson to the truck. I nodded and rested my head against the stone.

When the last of my tears fell and I could speak again, I talked to my brother and sister-in-law.

“I promised you when left for your last tour that I would take care of your family, Galen. When you opened your eyes in that ICU bed, Maxi, you asked me to take care of Greyson and raise him as if he was my own. I promised you that I would. It’s a promise that I’m keeping every day.”

I stood up from the ground and raised my eyes to the beautiful blue Savannah sky. I felt lighter than I had in a long time. The burden didn’t feel so heavy and the responsibility not so impossible.

“Greyson will always know who you two are. He’ll know his father was a hero and his mother loved him more than anything. Thank you both for trusting me to be his guide. I hope I make you proud.”

One final hand on the stone and I turned to walk away.

When we go to visit Galen and Maxi, I always take Greyson to Addy’s Book Nook afterwards. He loves the colors in the children’s section and the money for new books for bedtime is money well spent. The bookstore is fun after such a solemn visit. While Greyson is playing with some blocks and trains, I decided to tell Bethany about Galen and Maxi.

“Before Galen left, he asked me if I would take care of Maxi and his baby if anything happened. They had just found out that Maxi was pregnant. We celebrated and had the best time. My mother was over the moon. It was her first grandchild. Two weeks later, he got his deployment orders. He didn’t have long to get his affairs settled. And he was going to be gone for a long tour.”

“I signed the papers making me executor of his estate, and that I would take full custody of the baby if anything happened. He was coming back, so I didn’t hesitate to sign. The day he deployed was brutal. It was like he knew. He knew this deployment wasn’t going to go well. He was especially attentive to all of us. Maxi was never far away. Shortly after he left, Maxi started having problems. She was sick a lot, could barely hold down food. It was the blood pressure that scared us. But Maxine Alexander being who she was, she hid how sick she truly was from me and Mom. What we know now was that she had hypertension, but it had never been diagnosed.

“I wanted to go with her to the appointments. I tried to go to all I could. I was working so much by then. Mom tried to help. She did help as much as she could. But Mom was dealing with her own struggles.”

I stopped to catch my breath and gather my thoughts for the worst part.

“The day we got the word of the ambush, we were all at Maxi’s. Mom had felt so good that day… even came by earlier that morning to bake cookies to take over for our visit to Maxi. It was a day for us to spoil her. We had ordered some food and were waiting on the delivery. Maxi was feeling better, laughing. Until that knock on the door. When she screamed my name… Bitty, I will never forget that sound. I will never forget the moments after. Everything felt frozen in time. And then Maxi clutched her stomach and screamed in pain.

“Greyson came at thirty-two weeks. The blood pressure plus a placenta disruption. He was rushed straight to NICU. Maxi went to ICU once she was stabilized. He struggled and fought. He was so tiny. Every day, he just kept on fighting. But Maxi… she… God, I know she loved Grey. He was her son, but her body… she had been through so much. She woke up long enough to ask me to take care of him and love him as if he was my own. He is mine.

“She died a few days later. My mom was so distraught the doctor kept her sedated. She had lost her son, then her daughter-in-law. Her grandson was fighting for his life in a tiny incubator. My aunt flew in from Maryland to be here. Mrs. Rosemary and Clara were here too. I’m grateful to them. Clara especially, because she stepped into Simmer with ease when I needed to be at the hospital with Greyson.

“The services were simple. He was buried with full honors. His wife was right next to him. The graveyard was full of the people who loved and respected him. He had turned his life around so much. It was amazing to see.”

I glanced over at Galen and Maxi’s boy. They were going to miss out on so much, it broke my heart. The firsts, the graduations, his wedding… their grandchildren. It slayed me.

“Gideon, I’m gonna make you a promise now,” Bethany said to me, with reverence and love shining in her eyes. I still couldn’t believe she was going to give me a second chance.

“A promise, huh? Does it have anything to do with you getting naked and staying that way until I’m tired and had my fill of you?”

She shrugged her shoulders and lifted her eyebrow, as if to say maybe, possibly. I laughed for the first time today, and my heart lit up.

“I promise you now I will always love Greyson… maybe even more than you do. I’ll never replace his mother. But I’ll try to be there for him the way she would. You don’t ever have to do this alone. I never should have left. I should have stayed and fought for us. Looked into other options. Now, I have some loose ends to tie up with Culinary. Rowling won’t get away with his bullshit. Celeste won’t let him. But I think it’s time to come home. Contract or no.”

“Are you sure? Your show is everything you wanted. Everything you strived and sacrificed for.”

She looked at my son, her gaze filled with love, and then back at me.

“You’re wrong, Gideon. Everything I could ever need is right in front of me.”