We’re on the ground for a few minutes before it’s all clear. Savior’s body is covering mine and I can feel his pounding heartbeat on my chest. His breath is hot on my neck and a hand cradles my head.
“Are you okay?” He finally asks and I nod. “Stay down. I’m going to check on Junie and Tasha.” He crawls out of the room and knocks on the bedroom door. I hear muffled voices and Savior returns a few minutes later. “They’re fine. Also a little shaken up but fine.”
I manage to stand up and Savior helps me. Now would be the perfect time to tell him that he’s right and I do need to leave the ‘hood for good. Random gunshots are commonplace and even I have to admit, my first thought was Savior’s health and not mine.
I won’t get all dramatic and say I saw my life flash before my eyes and shit. But I’m pretty sure Bel-Air doesn’t have random niggas and equally more random gunshots rang out in the middle of the night. Even Dr. Dre and Snoop Dogg knew when to get the hell on.
Just when I’m about to tell Savior he was absolutely right and I do need to get the hell out of Inglewood, the drama from outside continues. “My baby!” A woman screams. “My baby’s been shot!”
Savior glances down at me. “Shit!” He races out of the bedroom and I’m hot on his heels.
We go outside and see Big C’s baby mama/girlfriend, Patty, holding a hysterical Lil’ C. There’s already a crowd forming and everyone is just circling around the child. “Please!” Patty screams. “Somebody do something!”
Savior moves his way past the crowd and cups Lil’ C’s head. His pajamas are bloody and it appears he’s been shot in the upper torso where all the major organs are. He’s coughing up blood and I feel sick to my stomach.
“Somebody call 911 now!” Savior shouts. He takes off his shirt and rips open Lil’ C’s Paw Patrol pajamas. The bullet wound is in his stomach. Savior bundles up his shirt and puts pressure onto the wound. “Hey there, big fella,” he coos to Lil’ C, “I’m Savior and I’m going to help you, okay? I need to focus on your mommy and stay still.”
“My tummy hurts!” Lil’ C cries. “It really hurts!”
“I know, I know.” Savior holds the shirt on Lil’ C’s stomach. “You just need to be a big boy for your mommy right now, okay?”
I stand back in the cut to watch Savior and Patty interact. While everyone is just watching, Savior was the only one who took action. People talk amongst themselves and just as I suspected, it was Jalen’s voice I heard.
Apparently, Jalen didn’t pay back some of the gang members and they went looking for him. When Jalen had the money, the gang decided to add a ridiculous amount of interest and demanded Jalen pay up now before someone got hurt.
It’s not clear who fired the first shot nor is it clear who’s bullet hit Lil’ C. What is clear, however, Big C is about to enact some street vengeance. A sickening feeling takes hold of me and I know this will not end well. “Where’s Big C?” I finally ask one of my neighbors.
“He and his boys went to go look for Jalen.” The neighbor replies. “They don’t know where he is but they know where he might be headed next.”
Jalen isn’t stupid enough to hide out at one of the harem’s homes, but he will go to his mom’s if things got too bad. If I know Big C like I do, even Jalen’s mama won’t be able to protect him. “This is not good.”
“No, it’s not.” The older lady looks over at me. “Weren’t you his girlfriend?”
“Was.” I answer as I watch Savior. He’s still holding onto Lil’ C’s stomach with both hands. “I haven’t spoken to Jalen in a while.”
“Good for you.” She glances down at Savior. “You know this white boy?”
My eyes are focused on Savior. He’s shirtless and talking to both Lil’ C and Patty. “He’s my boyfriend.”
The neighbor’s arched eyebrows rise and slow smile forms on her face. “Great for you.”
The ambulance comes a short while later and Savior steps out of the way so the EMTs can work on Lil’ C. Patty gets in the ambulance with them after they load him on the stretcher. The neighbors are talking amongst themselves and some are opening thanking Savior for going into action.
Savior doesn’t say much and it appears he’s almost embarrassed by the attention. Holding his bloody shirt, Savior goes back to the house and sits on the porch. He makes a few phone calls and talks about Lil’ C, describing him and Patty.
“I want him to have the best treatment possible. I don’t care how much it costs. I will take care of it.” His voice is low and authoritative.
His hands are shaking and Savior’s eyes are ice. He swallows hard as he makes phone call after phone call, running a hand over his face at times as he explains the situation. He finally enters the home and Tasha offers him a hit of her joint, which Savior accepts. He moves towards the bathroom and closes the door behind him.
I gather Savior’s bloody clothing and put them in the hamper. I sit on the bed and gather my legs to my chest, waiting for Savior to reappear from the bathroom. So many emotions run through me and I feel the hair on my arms stand straight up.
I accused Savior of trying to change me and get into a situation I’m not completely comfortable with, only to be proven right. Lil’ C will recover but he’ll be one of the lucky few. Every year, some kid is caught in the crosshairs of gunfire here because the adults don’t know how to act.
When will it be enough?
Savior reappears a short time later with a towel wrapped around his waist. He walks into the bedroom and sits down on the bed. His body is still but there’s still the bite of anger. He doesn’t look at me, but stares straight ahead at the floor-length mirrors on closet doors. He’s staring directly at me.
The aching pain in my chest reminds me of the guilt I’m feeling. I’m steeling myself for Savior to tell me how right he is and how wrong I was. I’m waiting for the lecture that will inevitably come. I’m waiting for him to tell me it’s too much for him to handle being here and we have to break up like my previous boyfriends have stated. I’m waiting for it all.
“When those gunshots rung out, my only concern was you. I didn’t care about anyone else. I only wanted your safety. You might be used to hearing random gunshots but I’m not and I don’t think I’ll ever get used to it.” He blinked. “I made some calls to ensure Cedric will get the best medical care in this country and I don’t care what the price was. I’ll take care of it all.” He lets out a harsh sigh. “As far as Jalen is concerned, he won’t hide for much longer. Whatever Cedric’s father doesn’t take care of, you best believe I will.”
A shiver passes through me as I notice how hard Savior’s eyes had become. They were angry and full of vengeance. We sat right next to each other, but there was a large wall now. Savior had already proven he would gladly take out any distractions in my life and Jalen was another item on his list to check off.
“What do you want me to do?” I finally ask.
“You said 90 days,” he reminds me, “and we have sixty left.”
Savior’s voice said one thing but his tone and mannerisms mean something else. He’s experienced quite a bit of drama from me within the past month and it’s clear he’s probably not going to wait around to the end of our arrangement.
I’ve never lived with any man who wasn’t related to me and I’m not about to start. I also don’t want to leave a home just to move into an apartment or rent another. I’m fine where I’m at.
I’m stuck between losing the man that I love and losing my identity in a world that isn’t too kind to those with a darker skin tone. I feel like I’m being forced to choose and it’s incredibly unfair and cruel. “I can’t just leave because you feel uncomfortable.”
Savior’s eyes harden at me. “Funny you say that. I was willing to leave the gala with you because you felt uncomfortable. I’m leaving my dad’s firm because I saw how he treated you at the gala and that made me uncomfortable. I’m uncomfortable knowing your dad is a drug dealer but I’m dating you, not him.” He gets up and puts on the rest of his clothing. “But you would rather risk getting shot here and stay because you feel comfortable. You keep saying how much you want to move out of the hood but really, you don’t.”
“So, you’re saying you’re going to break up with me if I don’t move in with you within the next two months?” I argue. “You’re threatening to break up with me because I won’t cowl to your demands?”
“A three-year-old child just got shot here tonight, Keisha. What part of that don’t you understand how fucking wrong that is?” Savior’s nose flares up. “A stray bullet hit him. That stray bullet could’ve been yours. That could’ve been Junie’s. That could’ve been Tasha’s. You say you hate putting on your white voice and putting on an act whenever you have to venture out of here, but you honestly think living here is better?”
“You don’t have to worry about any of that,” I tell him. “You can come and go as you please and I’m sure you have. So, I move out and sell the home. Then what? Where is Tasha going to live? Where is my aunt going to stay? Neither of them make enough money to stay here, Savior. The people who grew up here cannot afford to stay here because they’re being pushed out. You don’t have that problem. You never have. You can live anywhere in the world if you want. If Tasha is barely making 11 dollars an hour, she cannot afford to move to any place.”
“When you move up in the world, Keisha, you cannot take everyone with you. Some people you will have to leave behind.” He states. “I’ve been working with the city to get affordable housing in place so everyone could stay here and make it a safer area.”
“I heard the city was trying to create condos and townhomes in the area and they want to buy up all the land to make room for it.” Tasha states. “I’m sure your Granny’s home is on that land they want to purchase.”
The realization hits me like a ton of bricks. Now everything is starting to make sense and it’s perfectly clear. The pressure to get me out had nothing to do with seeing I go off to college but rather, for Savior to get my home. He had no intentions of marrying me or visiting me at college.
“You seduced me so you could get my home.” I make the hurtful realization. “You never cared about me at all. You wanted me as far from L.A. as possible so it would be easier to raze my neighborhood and sell it to the highest bidder.”
“Keisha, you know that’s not true!” Savior shot back. “You damn well know that’s not true!”
“Well, I don’t know what’s true anymore. You told me you loved me, and yet your father’s firm was working with the city to force out the residents at every possible corner. You know those Kardashians offered me three hundred thousand for my home? I’ve done the research on it, Savior, and guess what? This home is worth closer to a million. And they thought giving me three hundred thousand was a fair price. Every investor and scam artist sees I’m the owner and they think, ‘Oh, poor little hoodrat, she wouldn’t know we’re scamming her!’ and they move in for the kill. That’s why I’ve never entertained selling the home.
“And I knew something was off about your arrangement. I felt it from the very beginning that it was too good to be true. That’s why I gave back the Beemer. That’s why I wanted to end things despite how I felt. I knew you were a scam artist and I was proven right.”
“Keisha, please let me explain…”
“No,” I shake my head, “you need to leave. Now. Do not contact me ever again. Go!” I turn around and wait for Savior to leave my bedroom. Moments later, I see him get into an awaiting Bentley and it drives off.
Then I fall apart.