CHAPTER 20
BROOKE

I wished I’d never taken this vacation.

Cleaning up after one child only served as a reminder of the other one that wasn’t there. Setting out one child’s plate for dinner only reinforced the empty seat of the other. Daniel was constantly asking where his sister was and when she would be back. Every time Daniel mentioned her I watched Kevin’s heart break a little more. He was in a constant trance, volleying between being present with his son and lost in his own private hell. He had spent last night passed out in the chair on the porch after downing glass after glass of whiskey, just trying to dull the pain.

It physically hurt to do anything. Chasing Daniel around left me breathless with guilt and tucking him in forced me to stare at Sydney’s empty bed.

“This isn’t your fault,” Morgan said.

“How the hell is this not my fault?” I asked.

“You ran out into the ocean to save Daniel from drifting out too far. How were you supposed to know someone was hiding at the house waiting for Sydney?” she asked.

“I knew. I knew someone was following us that day at the museums. I knew that same man was on the beach that day.”

“And you told Kevin about it.”

“This is not his fault.”

“I’m not saying it is. I’m simply pointing out that it’s not yours,” she said.

“Why did I agree to do this? If I hadn’t taken this job, Kevin couldn’t have worked. He would have been with his kids and gone home after the first week, and none of this would have happened.”

“You’re not seriously suggesting that you taking the job led to Sydney being kidnapped, are you?”

“I’m saying it didn’t fucking help things, Morgan.”

Sighing, I slumped against my bed. I didn’t even have the energy to climb into it. Telling the story to Morgan made it seem even more impossible than it was. And yet, it was still happening. Sydney was still gone, the police still didn’t have any leads, and Kevin was slowly going crazy. The ransom note had not been followed by any other communication so far.

“I can hear you blaming yourself,” Morgan said.

“I should have paid closer attention to Daniel,” I said, breathlessly.

“Do you want my honest opinion?”

“No.”

“It sounds like whoever these people were, they’ve been watching you for a while. And if this was their plan or whatever, then there was nothing you could have done to stop it.”

“I could have gone with her into the house, and fought off whoever was in there,” I said.

“And let Daniel drift out to sea?”

“He had floaties on.”

“Are you hearing how idiotic you sound?”

“What else am I supposed to think? What else am I supposed to tell myself? I’ve got a man who’s incapacitated, a young boy who keeps asking when his sister is coming home, and a house that’s falling apart. And it’s not even my house!”

“Then come home, Brooke.”

“How the hell can you even suggest that?” I asked.

“Because it’s better than blaming yourself for a kidnapping you had nothing to do with. Someone planned it, funded it, and carried it out. They and they alone are to blame.”

A soft knock came at the door before it was pushed open. Daniel was standing there with tears running down his face. I opened my arm to him and he came running, jumping into my lap. He buried his face in the crook of my neck and I began to shush him, trying to quell the shaking body of the little boy in my arms.

“I have to go. Daniel needs me.”

“Do you want me to fly back?” Morgan asked. “Because I will.”

“No,” I said. “I’ll be okay.”

“Okay. But if you change your mind, I’m on the first flight out.”

“I know. I love you.”

“Love you, too.”

I hung up the phone and cradled Daniel in my arms as he cried into my shirt.

That was the thing about all of this. Daniel was growing closer to me, and Kevin was slipping away. I couldn't imagine the pain he was going through. It was hard to wake up each morning and feel it all again, and Sydney wasn’t even my child. But he had a son who needed him, and he was catatonic.

Sitting on the porch, like Sydney would come swimming in at any moment.

I had no idea what to do. These were not my kids. They were not my family. Kevin was not my husband. And yet, I felt a tug to stay, to get them through this terrible time. To clean up after them and make sure they were okay. To help in whatever way I could to get Sydney back. I had to be there for Daniel. I couldn't leave him when his own father couldn't operate well enough to even take care of himself.

I had to keep a clear head. I couldn’t afford to lose myself in grief. Kevin was slowly doing that, which meant someone had to be here to pull him back. No matter how this panned out, someone had to be clear-headed enough to pull him back from the brink.

To remind him he still had a child that needed him.

I rocked Daniel side-to-side until he fell asleep in my arms. Soft snores broken with wet coughs filled the room, and I stood so I could tuck him into my bed. I wrapped him up tightly and watched him turn over on his side, pulling the comforter up to his chin. It was the only time he looked peaceful anymore. The only time he looked as if things were right with the world. When he was relaxed and sleeping, unaware of the chaos around him. I reached for the remote and turned on the television, hoping it would keep him lulled in a deep trance.

Deep enough to give me time to take care of Kevin.

Walking out of the room, I made my way to the porch. There he sat, in the same suit he’d been wearing for the past four days. The stubble on his face had grown out and he hadn’t bathed in days. I could smell him, even from inside the kitchen. I walked out onto the porch and placed my hands on his shoulders, but instead of flinching, all he did was allow his head to fall back against me.

“What can I do?” I asked.

“Nothing,” he said.

“There’s gotta be something.”

“Just watch Daniel for me.”

“Kevin—”

“I don’t need you to do anything but watch my son,” he said.

“But I want to help. Let me help, Kevin.”

“You are helping,” he said.

He reached his hand up and grasped mine. “You’re here,” he said. “That helps more than you’ll ever know.”

I wrapped my fingers around his hand and squeezed it as hard as I could. His thumb stroked the top of my skin, trying to reassure me, even though I was the one who needed to be strong. I swallowed thickly and gazed out over the ocean, allowing myself to be sucked in by its beauty.

I understood why Kevin was allowing himself to be entranced by it.

It was the only shred of beauty still left on the property.

A knock at the door pulled us both from our trance. Kevin shot up from his seat and tugged me into the house. We went striding down the hallway toward the front door and yanked it open to find two police officers standing on the porch.

“Do you have something?” Kevin asked.

“What is it?” I asked.

“We want to know if you recognize this man,” the officer said.

A picture was held out in front of us and I felt my body go numb. My mind rushed back to the museum.

“That’s him,” I said, breathlessly.

“Who?” Kevin asked. “Who is that?”

“The man that was following us at the museum. The man at the beach that day.”

“So, you have seen him?” the officer asked.

“Yes. The kids and me. Last week. We were, um—”

My body was trembling as Kevin’s hands fell to my shoulders. He began to massage them, willing my body to settle down enough so I could talk in coherent sentences.

I couldn't lose it now.

Sydney needed my testimony.

“We were at the museums. The kid’s science museum and the history exhibit across the road. That man was following us on the tour and then he was watching us from across the road when we got in a cab to come home.”

“Have you seen him anywhere else?” the officer asked.

“A few days ago, on the beach. He was standing just at the edge of the property looking out over the water,” I said.

“And you’re sure it’s him?” the officer asked.

“I’m one hundred percent positive.”

“Could I get a copy of that picture?” Kevin asked.

“We’ll have someone bring a copy by your house as soon as possible.”

“Good,” I said.

“This is the only lead we’ve got, so we’re running with it. Facial recognition, traffic cameras, that sort of thing. Once we have a name, we can see if he owns property and pull up possible accomplices. Have you heard anything more since the ransom note?”

“No,” Kevin said, shaking his head. “But I’m more than willing to pay it. Why won’t you just let me pay it?” he asked.

One of the officers shook his head and placed a hand on Kevin’s shoulder. “Because, Mr. Spencer, in our experience, paying the ransom doesn’t always guarantee that the child will be returned. And it also gives the kidnappers more resources to cover their tracks. I promise you, we are doing everything we can to find your daughter and return her safely to you.”

Kevin nodded his understanding.

“Thank you,” Kevin said. “Thank you for all you’re doing.”

The officers walked away, and Kevin shut the door. His hands slid from my shoulders and I slumped over, exhausted from the effort it took just to stand these days. I turned around and watched Kevin drag himself back to the porch. He was just as exhausted as I was.

I watched him until he sat back in his chair, his eyes focusing on the horizon again.

Then I fell against the door, sliding down to my ass as tears welled in my eyes and ran down my cheeks.