It had been the best week of Kentucky’s life. When he’d asked Rory to run away with him, he’d gotten everything he’d wanted. The first weekend had been amazing. Kentucky felt certain he’d made love to Rory in every room and in every possible way. He’d turned into a glutton with Rory beneath his roof. When Monday arrived, and Kentucky had to work, he hadn’t been able to stop himself from begging Rory not to leave. Rory being Rory, he’d cupped Kentucky’s face, kissed him, and promised to stay as long as Kentucky liked. Even with that vow in place, Kentucky had rushed home each day, scared to death Rory wouldn’t be there. Rory hadn’t let him down. Every night, he was there.

Kentucky brushed his hand down Rory’s thigh. It was Saturday night, and it seemed as if he should take the man somewhere. But after Rory cooked him the spaghetti he’d promised Kentucky had been missing by eating the sauce in a jar, he’d curled up next to Kentucky on the couch and passed out. Several times, he’d thought to wake him. Instead, Kentucky sat in silence and stared. Sooner or later, Rory would have to go home. Kentucky couldn’t expect the man to put his life on hold forever. But maybe… Kentucky’s phone rang, cutting off his line of thinking before it went too deep. He dug his phone out while trying not to wake Rory. When he spotted Kieran’s name, he slipped from the couch and rushed to the bedroom out of earshot. It had been eight weeks since skate-on tryouts and he hadn’t heard a thing. Even though he hadn’t completely given up hope, since he knew with his past it wouldn’t be a quick thing, doubts had been creeping in.

“Hello?”

“Hey, it’s Kieran. How are you?”

Kentucky tried to stamp down his growing excitement. “I’m good. How are you?”

“I’m great. Listen, I’ve been in talks with the owner of the Ice Flames in Jackson, Mississippi this week. He wants you to sign.” Kentucky barely stopped himself from shouting in his elation. Kieran kept talking, killing his joy. “The thing is, George Lowe is an ultra-conservative. He’s not crazy about taking on an openly gay player, but he’s all about loving the sinner. Along with a bunch of other bullshit I had to sit through and won’t repeat. But he drew a hard line at taking on an openly gay player who’s also dating a porn star. If you want to sign with him, you can’t keep seeing Rory.” Kentucky almost laughed aloud at the insinuation, but Kieran didn’t stop there. “I told him I’d talk to you because I wasn’t sure if your relationship was serious. You have two weeks to make up your mind. If you want my two cents, I think you should pass. There’re other teams and other team owners who’ll stay out of your private business. Once this guy signs you, he could become a real pain. Hell, you could find yourself trying to climb in the closet to keep him happy. I don’t know if anything is worth that. Plus, Henley and I like Rory. This is a shitty position to be in.”

Once Kentucky was sure Kieran was finished, he had to clear his throat to respond. His mind raced. Nothing wanted to work properly, especially his tongue. Kieran’s claim kept banging on his brain, doing as much damage as possible. “Um, okay. Yeah. I definitely need to think about it. Everything you’ve said sounds horrible.” That was the understatement of the year. Kentucky prayed the part about Rory wasn’t true. In fact, he had no idea where that bullshit came from.

Kieran made a sympathetic noise. “I figured you would. Like I said, you have two weeks. Take them. Decide what you want. In the meantime, I’ll keep looking at other options.”

Kentucky nodded, even though Kieran couldn’t see him. “Okay. Thank you. I can’t tell you how much I appreciate your help.”

“It’s what I do. I’ll talk to you soon.”

“Yeah. Talk to you later,” Kentucky pushed out past his tight throat. The moment the call disconnected, Kentucky stared at the face of his phone. It wasn’t true. It couldn’t be. Then again, he hadn’t really thought about how smoothly Rory always dodged his questions about work.

While twirling the phone between his hands, Kentucky headed back to the living room. He sat and stared at Rory. His dark hair had fallen in his face. Kentucky brushed it aside. He was so beautiful. Breathtaking, really. Kentucky could see it. He could imagine men tripping over themselves to pay to watch Rory in action. Hell, he had firsthand experience with Rory’s skills. It was some expert-level shit. He’d impressed Kentucky in every way possible.

“Is everything okay?” Rory mumbled, sounding more asleep than awake.

Kentucky swallowed past the pain. “Kieran just called.”

Rory sat up. He looked sleep-swollen and sweet, but he was obviously invested in what happened with Kentucky’s career. Kentucky wanted to take him to bed. Hold him. Pretend the last ten minutes never happened. “What did he say? Is there an interested team?” He looked hopeful and excited. Rory cared. His reactions were genuine. It was like a knife to the chest.

“Yeah. A team from Jackson, Mississippi wants me.”

Rory cheered. “That’s awesome.” He shifted to his knees, getting into the conversation. “Tell me everything.”

Kentucky rubbed his chest. “They want me on one condition. It seems the team’s owner is a religious zealot.”

Rory’s smile fell. “Oh no.”

“He said if I sign with him, I can’t keep dating you.”

The reaction was swift. Rory’s expression snapped closed. He didn’t respond.

Kentucky couldn’t take it. “Is it true?” He didn’t expound. If it was true, he didn’t think there could be any misunderstanding about what he meant.

Rory visibly swallowed. A pained look crossed his features. “Probably.”

Words abandoned Kentucky. He toyed with the phone between his hands. He dropped his gaze to his lap. Kentucky couldn’t stop clearing his throat. It was like his heart was stuck there. “I’m guessing Jay and all them are...”

“Yes.”

Kentucky’s eyes fell closed. His brain had given out. He knew there should be things to say. A sane man should scream, throw shit, react in some way, but Kentucky had nothing. Since meeting Rory, his life had been getting better every day. His future had never looked so bright. Now he couldn’t see past the pain. He had questions. They wouldn’t form. It was like he was broken.

Kentucky was scaring the hell out of Rory. His silence was deafening. Rory knew they needed to talk, but he wondered if he shouldn’t leave instead. Kentucky watched his lap, refusing to look at Rory. The pain rolling off Kentucky in waves was choking Rory. He couldn’t move.

Someone needed to be the one to start. Rory knew it should be him. After all, he’d been silent too long already and hurt the person he cared about the most. Rory picked a place and started talking. “Lucas and I went to California at eighteen. We just found our crowd and started partying. One night, we were very high, and Shawn was like, ‘Hey, you guys know you can make a lot of money for stuff you’re already doing. Then you could stay here and party with us all the time.’” Rory twisted his fingers, feeling exposed. “So we jumped in. It was pretty amateur stuff. That didn’t seem to matter. We picked up a following pretty quick. Then we were introduced to Jay and Bryson. They were pros who already had a huge contract. We did one film and things exploded.” Rory fought a nervous laugh at the unintended pun. He took a deep breath. “Jay moved us in and we became a web sensation. We had people paying monthly fees to watch the five of us together. The money was more than I expected to ever make, since I never expected to go anywhere in life. Something really horrible happened to Jay. It shook all of us pretty hard, so we decided to move back home. Shawn, Jay, and Bryson came with us. Then, I met you.”

“You let me hang out with people you fuck all day and didn’t say a word.” Kentucky’s voice was dead. “I introduced you to my family. We made love several times, and you didn’t think any of that was need-to-know information?”

It was like someone was sitting on his chest. He couldn’t breathe. Kentucky sounded like every man he’d ever met, but this time, it mattered. “I like you.” Rory made a helpless gesture that came from his soul. His brow pulled together in a frown as he swallowed down the bitterness. “I like you,” he repeated, unsure of how to get his point across. His words didn’t feel adequate. “If I’d told you the day we met, would you have bothered getting to know me? Or would you have thought it was cool to fuck me and move on? I wanted you to know me for me. To like me for me. Not think I’m some whore who fucks for money.”

Kentucky’s chin finally lifted. Their gazes met. “Do I strike you as the type to treat anyone that way?”

“I didn’t know you,” Rory said, trying his heart out to explain. “I was scared.”

Kentucky shook his head. His hands lifted before falling back to his lap. “I don’t know how I would’ve reacted if you’d told me the first night we met. Maybe I would’ve cared. Maybe I wouldn’t have. We’ll never know. But I know I never would’ve treated you like a whore, and now I have to work my way out from underneath finding this out from someone else. I have to deal with knowing you lied.”

“I didn’t lie,” Rory said, trying to fix things. “When you asked what I do, I told you I was in the entertainment industry and about my graphic design. When you didn’t dig, I didn’t offer more.”

“And you think that makes this okay?” Kentucky didn’t yell. In fact, he sounded downright calm. “You think it’s okay to keep something like this from someone you’re building a relationship with? You introduced me to those guys, knowing I was clueless. Betrayed doesn’t begin to cover how I feel right now.”

All Rory had was this one chance to try to hang on to Kentucky. He knew if he couldn’t find the right words tonight, he’d never hear from him again. “Look, I know it’s hard to wrap your head around this if you’ve never done what I do, but Jay, Lucas, Shawn, and Bryson, they are my friends and nothing more. It’s a job, and that’s it. You’re the only man in my head. They would never disrespect you.”

“Great. So you don’t care if I hit the bar tonight, find some random dude, and fuck him? As long as he doesn’t touch my heart, it’s no big deal. Is that what I’m hearing?”

Rory’s eyes fell closed. Kentucky was no different from anyone else. Jay had been right. It was best he stuck with his circle of people. No one else got it, and he shouldn’t expect more. He stood. “Thank you for being a really fantastic guy. There should be more men like you in the world.” He had to get out before he lost his shit. Rory could feel the pressure building in his chest, crawling upward and ready to burst from him in painful waves. “I’m sorry you can’t say the same for me. I won’t bother you again.”

Kentucky shifted to his feet. His fingers encircled Rory’s wrist, stopping him from running away. He looked genuinely hurt. The knowledge did nothing to help Rory’s growing despair. “Give me time to think, okay? I just need a minute to absorb all this and figure out if it’s something I can handle, okay? Stop,” he said when Rory swallowed hard. Tears pressed at the backs of his eyes. “Stop,” Kentucky repeated, hauling Rory against his chest. It was his undoing. Kentucky was so warm and big. He was like coming home to the most comfortable and safe place. It was hell knowing he wouldn’t get to do this again. Kentucky was too nice. He wouldn’t want Rory again. Rory already knew he’d never hear from the man after tonight. He couldn’t stop swallowing and fighting back tears. Kentucky stroked his back. “Shhh. I don’t think you’re a bad person. This just caught me off guard.” His lips brushed Rory’s temple. “Fuck. You really do just fit perfectly in my arms.” His hold tightened on Rory. “It’s like a punch to the throat, knowing I have no shot of having you to myself.”

“You already do,” Rory said, speaking through the burn. “I just don’t know how to convince you that you’re the only man I want. It hurts that I have to convince you.” A single hot tear fell from Rory’s lashes. He swore it singed his skin as it rolled down his cheek. His fingers found Kentucky’s shirt. He held on, desperate to keep him. “I’m so sorry. Every time I tried to find the words to tell you, they wouldn’t come.” In a burst of Herculean strength, he pried his fingers away from Kentucky’s shirt and took a step back. Rory swiped at his eyes. No matter how hard he tried, his gaze wouldn’t lift to meet Kentucky’s stare. “It was really nice getting to know you. Don’t give up your hunt for a team.” Rory headed for where he’d left his shoes by the door. If Kentucky said anything else, Rory didn’t hear it. His ears rang and his mind raced. It seemed like he probably had stuff he was leaving behind. None of it mattered in the face of losing Kentucky. He didn’t know if it was worse or better, knowing it was all his fault. As he headed for his car, he decided it didn’t matter. Either way, he’d lost a part of himself. Rory hadn’t thought he had another piece of his soul to spare.

He drove home on auto-pilot through a haze of tears. After he parked, he stared at nothing for so long, his windows fogged over. Rory had no clue how much time passed before he finally made his way inside. He bypassed his bedroom and headed up the stairs. Rory was scared of what would happen if he went to bed alone. Maybe he wouldn’t wake up. The pains in his chest didn’t bode well for survival. He opened Lucas and Jay’s bedroom door without knocking. No one ever knocked in their house. Boundaries had disappeared so long ago between them, Rory didn’t remember what privacy looked like.

Rory toed off his shoes and stripped down to his underwear before crawling into the bed with the couple. He didn’t even look to see whose side of the bed he chose. Lucas lifted the covers and tucked Rory against him. Neither of them spoke. They didn’t have to. They’d grown up inside the same group home. It was like they could read each other’s mind. Feel each other’s pain. Lucas kissed his temple. Tears dripped from Rory’s eyes onto the pillow. Tomorrow, he’d harden his heart. He’d pick himself up and return to being alone. The only people who’d ever loved him lived under this roof. Rory would do good to remember that in the future and stop wanting more. When his mom had abandoned him at eight at a fire station, she’d taught him the one harsh truth he needed. He was unlovable. Cursed from birth. Rory’s choices were to live with it or die from it. Sometimes, it was a close call.