Chapter 10 Then
It was my first time coming home in a year. Evie and talked, and since she had a lot of studying to get in I decided to stay at my parents place, or my place rather. Even though they had been gone for five years, I still had a hard time picturing their things as mine. I sold both of their cars last year, and I replaced them with a simple sedan for Zoe. She kept the car a month, before a skype session revealed the car she really wanted, a 1967 Chevelle. At first I was furious, but like my father, I let Zoe's joy rope me in. It wasn't practical, but it was the first thing she had that felt like her own, and I understood the need to feel like your own person.
Zoe's car was gone, so I assumed she was at a friends. I tossed my bag onto the dining room table, and rounded the corner in search of the television remote. I plopped down onto the couch, and turned on the local news. I always liked to catch up first thing when I got back into town. Zoe kept me informed for the most part, but there was something comforting in knowing that life just kept going while you were away.
I was only home for half an hour before the doorbell rang. I thought about ignoring it, but when the knocks persisted, I gave in. I checked the peep hole, and the eyes I found starring back at mine belonged to a very familiar face. I smiled briefly, changing my expression as I opened the door. “Evie.” I said, in a questioning tone. “I thought you were busy?”
“Shut up.” She said, wrapping her arms around my neck, and squeezing me tight. “I missed you.”
I wrapped my arms around her, relishing in the scent of her hair, and the perfume on her skin. “I missed you too Hermosa.” I whispered.
“I brought movies!” She said excitedly, after breaking our intimate hug. “Everything that you've missed while being away.” She added, while stepping around me and placing a stack of ten or so DVDs on the coffee table. “I hope you're up for a marathon.”
“I'm sure I can be persuaded.” I said, raising my brows suggestively.
“Jake.” She sighed. “I was hoping we could actually spend some time together this weekend.”
“We'll spend lots of time together Hermosa, I promise.” I winked, sitting down on the couch, and patting the space beside me.
“Unbelievable.” She said, rolling her eyes, and turning towards the door.
“Hey, wait!” I called out standing to stop her, my hand gripping her lower arm. “What's going on?”
“We used to be friends Jake, and then, whatever this is started.” She said bitterly. “Is it so wrong that I want to spend time with my friend right now? To talk to you as my best friend, and not the guy I'm sleeping with?”
“Come on.” I said softly, tugging her arm, and leading her back to the couch. We sat down, side by side, my hand covering hers. “Talk to me.” I urged. “Please.”
“Med school is running me ragged Jake. I don't know, maybe I made the wrong decision. Maybe, I'm just not cut out to be a doctor.”
“That's ridiculous. Being a pediatrician has been your dream since you were ten years old, and you have never been one to back down. What's really going on?”
“I'm a scholarship kid Jake.” She said, sounding defeated. “In a class full of legacy kids. Everyone expects so much from them, that when I actually do better than them, I don't even get recognized. I just, I thought college, and the real world, would be different.”
“How are your grades?” I asked, already knowing the answer.
“Straight A's.” She smiled weakly.
“Exactly. This is what you were born to do Evie Perez, not go pop one of those movies in, and I'll make the popcorn.”
“Ok.” She agreed, grabbing the first movie on the stack, and putting it in the DVD player.
We sat together, in semi silence watching a romantic comedy. I couldn't tell you the name of it because I was too busy watching Evie. The way she'd crinkle her nose at a scene she disliked, or the way she'd giggle when she felt embarrassed. I've seen every inch of her, but she still blushed during the sex scenes, which only made me smile more. There was an innocence about her, and the more time I spent with her in our new found relationship, the more I grew to look forward to it.
Even though she had seen, and lived her own darkness, it was as if she was untouched by the demons that lived there. She had somehow come out unscathed, her beauty, and intelligence, stronger than their pull. I envied her for that.
The movie had just about finished, when Zoe walked through the front door. I glanced at the clock, and realized it was nearly midnight. She was an adult, but she was still my little sister. I cleared my throat, catching both girl's attention. “Where have you been?” I asked, with an accusatory tone.
“Out.” She snapped, rolling her eyes. “I'm almost twenty years old Jake, and you aren't my father.”
“Doesn't mean I can't worry about you.” I said, with concern.
“I'm fine.” She sighed, brushing past us, and into the kitchen.
“Leave her alone Jake.” Evie said, resting her head on my shoulder.
I kissed her forehead, enticing a smile. “What are we watching next?” I asked, on a long blissful sigh.
She stood, stretching her arms above her head, before disappearing into the kitchen. I sat, and waited, for a few minutes, but when she didn't return, I got up to join her. I found, she and Zoe sitting at the dining room table sharing a bag of Twizzlers. I laughed, at the two of them twirling their licorice around and laughing like young teenagers.
Empty glasses sat in front of each of them, and a bottle of bourbon became the new centerpiece. It was clear that Zoe was at least three shots in, but Evie had only just begun. She didn't drink, so whatever brought this on tonight wasn't good. She poured herself another drink, and so did Zoe. I reached for the bottle, placing it on the counter top behind me. Both girls gave me the look, and Zoe flipped me the bird for good measure.
“You have school in the morning Hermosa.” I bent to whisper in Evie's ear. “Should I take you home?”
“You should take me to your room.” She half whispered back.
I laughed, and Zoe made barfing sounds under her breath, causing Evie to fall into a fit of laughter. “Sorry Zoe.” She breathed out.
“Goodnight, Zoe.” I said, reaching for Evie's hand, and leading her up the stairs. When we reached my bedroom, I let her in first, shutting the door behind us. “What happened to movie night?” I teased, as I watched her remove her clothes and grab one of my tee shirts from the drawer.
“I haven't seen you in a year Jake. I just want to feel you. Is that alright?” She asked shyly.
I pulled my shirt over my head, and stripped down to my boxers. Walking over to the bed, I pulled back the comforter, and motioned for her to join me. She smiled sweetly, and slipped in beside me. Her back, to my front, I held her closely. The scent of her hair filled my senses, and I closed my eyes, trying to remember it for when I was away. When I opened my eyes again, I realized that she was crying.
“Hermosa?” I asked gently, kissing the space just below her ear.
“It's too hard Jake.” She whimpered. “It's too long. I'ts so lonely.”
I turned her in my arms so I could look into her eyes. “What are you saying Hermosa?” I asked, trying to keep the pit in my stomach at bay.
“I think. I think we need to end this. I don't want to lose your friendship.. ever, but this just isn't enough anymore. Not for me.”
“Are you asking me to make a commitment? Do you want a real relationship? Is that was this is really about?” I stammered, grasping at straws, and secretly hoping this was the case.
“No.”She said softly. “I'm saying, after tonight, I think it's best if we go back to the way things were.”
The word “no” felt like a ton of bricks just crashed down onto my chest. I tried to keep my expression neutral, but by the look on Evie's face, I could tell that I wasn't. A part of me wanted to change her mind. To tell her the truth, that I had feelings for her, more than she knew. But another part, the part that knew I was leaving in two days, knew that what she said was true. I never understood why people said that if you love something, you should let it go, until this moment. Evie meant more to me than she could ever imagine, and for that reason, I was willing to break my own heart.
I wasn't done with the army, my career had only begun, and asking her to be tied to me at only 21 years old, to make that kind of commitment, it just wasn't fair. I brushed a strand of hair away from her face, and gave her a weak smile. “I understand.” I said hesitantly. “All I've ever wanted, was for you to be happy.”
“I love you Jake.” She whispered, before pressing her lips to mine.
I could feel the wetness on her cheek when she pulled away, and using my thumb, I swiped the lone tear from her eye. “I love you too Hermosa.”
We made love, for what I thought would be the last time that night. And when she left in the morning, I knew what was left of our relationship would never be the same again.