Em twisted my hand this way and that way, inspecting my ring. “It’s um…unique,” Em appraised, trying to be polite.
“It’s ugly,” I scoffed. “You can say it.” Holding up my hand, I let the sun glint off it, as if seeing it in a different light might reveal some hidden luster to the stone. I had no such luck. The surface was flat and lifeless. “I keep expecting t-to notice something attractive about it.”
“In that case,” Em added, “she must really love you, Carter. That's absolutely the most hideous engagement ring in history, and she still said yes.”
“It looks like a tooth,” Coop observed. Brutus was nuzzled against her chin. He was her living stole. I was fairly sure at this point, that I wasn’t going to get my dog back. Or my dignity for that matter. Coop had just confirmed my theory that my finger was sporting a molar handed down through generations of Whalens.
“It’s a family heirloom,” Carter scoffed. “You can’t put a value on something like that.” Jabbing a thumb over his shoulder, he gestured to the cooler. “I’m going to grab a beer. You want anything, Angel?”
“Tea. Lots of—”
“Ice,” Carter predicted.
“So attentive,” Em praised. She smirked over her glass of wine. “I didn’t think he could be domesticated.”
“If there’s one thing I know, it’s food.” Carter winked before he walked away. He looked comfortable in his prosthetic again, his swagger returned.
“He looks proud.” Coop grinned, rocking back on her heels. As an afterthought, she hid her smile behind Brutus’s coat of fur.
“You can’t have him, you know,” I said bluntly. A moron could see she was growing attached. I wasn’t about to let her filch my son’s dog.
Coop’s nose wrinkled. “Ew!”
“I’m talking about my dog.” My eyes rolled, a reflex action when I realized my gaffe. “You’re completely infatuated with him.”
“I’m just borrowing him,” Coop assured. “I don’t want to keep him.”
“Can we get back to the ring,” Em interrupted. “I want to know how this all went down. Did he have it all planned? Was it romantic?”
“It was completely impromptu,” I explained. “Jake was ransacking the house f-for the deed, and I remembered Gram t-telling me about the safe—”
“God help me,” Jake groaned. “I’m telling you, Gram mentioned it somewhere else!”
“You believe whatever you want, Jake,” I argued, “but she was there! She touched my hand! I could smell her perfume!”
“You hit your head!”
“I’m lost,” Em admitted. She glanced to Coop, who shrugged her shoulders.
“Me too.”
“The day you visited me in the hospital—the day I choked on the t-tiramisu,” I explained. “My gram came t-to visit me.”
“From the dead,” Jake added, cluing them in. “Gram died weeks before.”
“Merda,” Em gasped. Her eyes were wide as saucers. “I swear I felt something when I was leaving! The hairs on my arms stood up!” As if she could still feel it, she touched her arm.
I yelped in excitement, jumping in place. “She passed you on the way in! Oh my God! In your fffface, Jake! What did I t-t-tell you!”
Jake shook his head, remaining resolutely in denial.
“I can’t believe it!” I exclaimed. “You still don’t believe me!” Whatever. I knew. That’s all that counted. I didn’t need his assent to feel sane.
“So what did she say?” Em asked. “She mentioned something about a safe…?” Someone believed me, at least.
“When she was leaving, she said to tell Jake the papers he was looking for were in the safe in the utility panel under the tub.”
“Were they?”
“Exactly where she said! We opened it just before we came.”
“Which is where we got this…” Carter passed me my glass of iced tea, then reached into his back pocket and extracted the envelope. “The ring was inside, along with a letter. But it’s this that sold me.” He extracted the letter and unfolded it. Holding it up in front of Jake’s face, he pointed to the upper right corner. “There’s only so much you can write off to coincidence, man. It’s dated the eighteenth, the same day Mattie swears Gram visited her.”
Jake took the letter from Carter’s hand, peering at the date scribed along the edge. “She could've postdated it.”
“Marone!” Em sighed. “He’s dense.”
“It’s f-f-fine,” I said, stepping in. I wasn’t about to ruin a perfect day by arguing. If he didn’t want to be a believer, his loss.
Snatching the letter from Jake’s hand, I ambled toward the tree, poring over Gram’s scrawl. My chest tightened, stealing the air from my lungs. The ache of loss was still raw. God, I missed her.
Carter,
Clearly, if you’re reading this, it’s your turn to take care of our girl. She’s yours now. Love her. Hold her close. Cherish every moment you have with her. We both know it's not often you get second chances.
The ring I leave you is a Whalen family heirloom. It’s not of monetary value, just a simple paste stone, but she’ll treasure it if not just for the laugh.
Love, Gram
P.S. If she says yes, you'll know she loves you. It's the most God awful piece of jewelry I've ever set eyes on.
“It’s hard to grasp,” Jake said quietly. He joined me under the tree. We sat on the bench in the shade. “Part of me doesn’t want to believe it.”
“Why?” I asked, folding the letter.
“It dredges up old feelings, things I let go of a long time ago.” Reaching down, he scooped a wayward caterpillar from the bench and placed it into the grass. “You don’t know how many times I prayed at night to see Mom and Dad again.”
“I did too.”
“I know. Your room was next to mine. You were loud.”
“I wanted them t-to hear me.”
“So did I.” He managed a weak smile, though fleeting. “I just wanted some small sign that they were watching. A shooting star. A song on the radio. Something so unmistakable or personal that it couldn’t be written off. I used to get so angry when they didn’t answer. Jesus.” Shaking his head, he sighed heavily. “I felt abandoned. Like they didn’t care.”
“It was easier t-to doubt your f-faith than t-to think they didn’t love us,” I surmised. “I f-felt the same way, Jake. Up until that night in the hospital, I really didn’t think there was anything beyond our own nerve impulses. There was no heaven or hell. When we were gone, we t-turned t-to dust. There were no souls. No afterlife.” I shrugged, at a loss. “I don’t know. Maybe I did just hit my head t-too hard, but she sure f-felt real.”
“Maybe she was,” Jake granted. “Gram was always a force to be reckoned with.”
“Maybe Mom and Dad knew they left us in good hands,” I theorized. “They never answered us because they were at peace.”
“Maybe.” Jake smiled and tugged me against him. I rested my head on his shoulder, watching the others around us.
“I still can’t believe she’s gone.”
“Me neither,” Jake agreed. “I thought she’d live forever. She seemed omnipotent.”
“It was quick, wasn’t it?” I asked. I dreaded the question. I felt indirectly responsible. The stress of the accident couldn’t have been good for her heart. “She didn’t suffer?”
Jake snorted. “I dare say she died with a smile on her face. She was in bed with Mr. Doyle, mid-coitus.”
I gasped in shock. “No!”
“Apparently so.”
“Oh my God!” I couldn’t believe it. I was shocked and in wonder at the same time. Indignity trumped them both. “And here I was f-feeling guilty.”
“Why would you feel guilty?” Jake asked, befuddled.
“Because I assumed she was stressed over the accident.” I’d grossly imagined her passing right at my bedside.
“She was, but it wasn’t a factor. She and Mr. Doyle got good and stoned, popped a few Viagra, and went at it like a couple of teens on prom night.”
“Jesus!” I swore. “Gram got stoned?”
“Regularly.”
“I had no idea.”
“She didn’t exactly advertise it. I’m surprised she mentioned it to Paisley.”
Paisley knew, while I had no idea. My relationship with Gram became a sudden enigma. Did I know her at all? I’d thought we were as thick as thieves. I told her everything.
“She missed you while you were at school,” Jake explained. “Paisley was at her disposal.” It made sense. Paisley worked at the retirement center where Gram resided.
“How long was she sleeping with this Mr. Doyle?”
“Not sure.” Jake shrugged. “At least a few months. Though, likely longer. I saw a set of dentures in the bathroom about a year ago.”
“Ew.”
“Yeah…well.” Jake wasn’t thrilled with the discovery himself.
I laughed to myself. “She’ll have some explaining t-to do t-to Grandpa.”
“He made her promise to live a little. She kept her word.”
“I suppose she did. Mr. Doyle will certainly gain a little notoriety.”
“He’s being hailed as ‘The Lady Killer.’ Paisley’s already hearing whispers from the other patients.”
“How scandalous.”
“Gram would’ve loved it.”
“Yeah.” Giggling, I shook my head. Jake patted my arm.
Garnering our attention, Carter cackled at something one of the girls said. His head was tilted back with unrestrained amusement.
“So, are you really going to marry this clown?”
“Without hesitation.”
“He makes you happy.”
“Most of the t-time.”
“The rest of the time?”
“I shake my head in disappointment while watching him gag over a dirty diaper.”
“I could’ve warned you over that. He always conveniently vanished when it was his turn to clean the gas chamber.”
Anyone in their right mind would’ve vanished over head-cleaning duty. “Why didn’t you just hire someone?”
“They refused.” Jake shook with laughter. “Can’t say I blame them. I wouldn’t touch it by a mile after Tate’s eaten a few Slim Jims.”
Gently lifting my hand, he took a long gander at my ring. “It really is awful.”
“That’s the consensus.”
“Carter loves a good joke.”
“So did Gram. Guess she got the last laugh.”
“She would’ve been happy for you.”
“What about you, Jake?” Call me a fool, but I actually wanted his approval. He was my big brother. Don’t get me wrong, it wouldn’t stop me from marrying Carter, but it would give me a sense of peace and acceptance. “Are you happy f-f-for me?”
“I’m cautiously optimistic. I think he actually cares about you.”
“That’s generous of you.”
“I’ve said it before, Mattie. Nobody will ever be good enough for you. You’re my little sister.”
I frowned, turning my glass in my hand.
“He’s gaining ground, ok?” Jake caved. “Just don’t tell him that. He’ll start slacking.”
“I’ll keep him on his t-toes,” I assured. “You don’t have t-to worry about that.”
“Good.” Letting go of my hand, he tipped my nose. “You’re probably one of the rare few that can.”
Jake started to rise, but I grasped his arm, stopping him. “You’ll give me away, right? You’ll walk me up the aisle?”
“I’d be insulted if you asked anyone else.”
“I never considered it.” If Jake wouldn’t do it, I wouldn’t have asked anyone else. He was the last of my family. It wouldn’t feel right.
“I’ve had to play the heavy all these years. You can’t take away the indulgences. We have to have something to look back and smile on.”
“Like bringing the air horn to the commencement ceremonies?” Every time the speeches grew too long, I’d set it off. It set Mr. Bard off when I barely let him get a single word out.
Jake smiled, but shook his head. “I had to make a generous donation to get your diploma after that stunt.”
“I guess karma caught up with me in college.” I walked up the aisle to receive my bachelor’s degree looking like I was hiding a beach ball under my gown. Mr. Bard would’ve relished my fall from grace.
Glancing over at Jake, I expected to find his disapproval. “I’m proud of you, Mattie,” he said, surprising me. “I might not say it very often, but I am. You graduated despite everything you were facing. A lot of others would’ve quit.”
“Good thing I’m determined when I want something.”
Carter cackled again, drawing our attention. I wasn’t without my regrets. My determination had failed me where he was concerned. My self-confidence had taken a nose dive. I’d succumbed to my doubts and fears. I’d been weak when I should’ve fought harder.
“It all worked out in the end,” Jake assured. “No point in dwelling on the past.”
“I know.” Easier said than done.
“I’m sorry I gave you such a hard time.”
I returned my focus to Jake, checking his expression. Something was amiss. He was being unusually amenable. “You’re not going inside t-to call the doctor or something, are you? I was cleared weeks ago. My head is f-fine. I’m not delusional.”
“Though I still question your choice in men,” Jake said, standing, “I don’t think it deems you insane.” He chucked my shoulder before striding off to stand by Paisley.
Taking a long draw of my tea, I stood and followed him. Cooper was finishing up a story about the twins, Tate’s sleepless trek to their room, his big toe, and the foot of his bureau.
“Broken?” Carter asked. “Seriously?”
“I shit you not,” Tate swore. “It hurt worse than anything I’ve ever felt. I was curled up on the floor, cursing like a banshee.”
“You obviously haven’t had Coop knee you in the balls.”
“I’ve apologized for that a dozen times,” Coop protested, crossing her arms over her chest. “I’m not apologizing again.”
“Don’t let him push your buttons, babe,” Tate said consolingly. “It’s his own fault. He was supposed to keep you from leaving. Not corner you in the parking lot.”
“Fuck you both,” Carter scoffed.
I laughed, to which Carter replied with a slap on the ass. I gasped and retaliated with an elbow in his gut. I hadn’t hit him hard, but he indulged me with a gust of breath. Curling his back, his hand flew to his stomach. I turned just in time to see him take a step back. He lost his balance, teetered on the edge of the pool. My gaze met his as he reached out and grabbed the closest thing to him. Me. Next thing I knew, we were both hitting the water.