Nikketa kept throwing me worried looks from across the fire outside her and Gordon’s tent. I’m not sure why I moseyed back to the Scavenger camp after Tallis’ departure, but for some reason, it was where I felt most comfortable.

I spent the evening silently agonizing over Tallis’ last words to me and Cyler’s disappearance. Nikketa seemed to recognize my need for space, so she left me alone to stare at the fire while reading a book.

“Did you come here to mope, or are you going to teach tonight?” Gordon asked in a bitter tone. He barely contained his disappointment about my absence the past couple days. I knew I was letting him down, but I needed a moment to breathe.

“You’re one to talk,” I replied while flipping through the pages of one of his old books. I really needed to buy him a tablet.

“What’s that supposed to mean?

“I mean,” I began while standing from the old log I was sitting on and stretching my muscles. “You ran away instead of confronting Tallis.”

Gordon rolled his eyes and huffed.

“Because he murdered my Grandfather,” Gordon replied incredulously. “What’s your excuse?”

I twisted my neck and pursed my lips, preparing to attack. “I wasn’t wanted,” I said through gritted teeth.

“Bull. Shit.” Nikketa interrupted while rubbing the soles of her feet. She rolled her neck before crouching over and inspecting her toes. I winced in disgust. She didn’t look up at me, but I felt her barely contained annoyance.

“That boy wants you. And not just as a traveling companion either,” she said with an air of certainty.

“Well, I know that…” I began, “but, it’s not that simple.”

“Then make it simple. Worry about the people that want you and stop worrying about those that don’t. You have the power here. You’re grown. Start acting like it.” Nikketa put her foot down and leaned back. Her tight shorts pulling against her legs.

“He’s going to stop wanting me, everyone always does.” I twisted my lips into a self-deprecating half smile while looking away from her.

“Give him a little credit, why don’t you.”

“I say let him go, he’s a murderer, after all,” Gordon said under his breath. Nikketa flashed him an angry look. It seemed he and Tallis hadn’t made up yet.

“Gordon, you don’t get it. As he got older, things…changed.”

I looked at them, wondering if I should leave, but curiosity made me stay.

“He started to forget things, and then he started acting like a recluse. Then…then he started hoarding supplies and locking himself away. He’d have moments of clarity but then he’d disappear again. I hated what Tallis had to do, but he ended Hawkeye's life because he was already dead.”

My eyes flashed to Gordon’s as the truth surrounding his Grandfather's death came to light. His mouth went slack, and he shifted further back in his seat while bowing his head.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” he finally asked.

“Because Hawkeye didn’t want you to know. He didn’t want you to see his deterioration!” Nikketa pinched her lips together with the pain of losing her husband. The three of us sat silently as the other Scavengers went to their tents for the night.

Once our fire was the last one glowing in camp, Nikketa asked, “Do you want me to find someone to walk you home?”

I shook my head and stood. “I’m going to stay here tonight,” I said softly before bending over to where she was sitting and kissed her cheek goodnight. Her wrinkled hand flew to her chest as she watched me with wide eyes as I slowly made my way to Tallis’ tent. After inhaling my Scavenger Chief’s scent left on his pillow, I settled into the security of his space and sobbed myself to sleep, the loneliness feeling all too much.

* * *

I didn’t wake until mid-afternoon, and it wasn’t by choice. Nikketa grabbed my ankles and dragged me out of the tent and splashed me with water before saying, “Get yourself together, baby.” She waddled off towards her own tent and I stretched in the dirt.

I got ready for the day and debated on whether or not I wanted to work in the Gardens. No one was here to force me to do anything. I actually had the freedom to do as I pleased, yet I didn't know what it was I wanted to do.

I looked around and an emptiness filled me. It was a crushing realization. Tallis was who I wanted to spend my time with. Tallis was who I wanted to run to.

I heard the ringing of my Tablet and I answered.

“Jules, can you hear me?” Tallis shouted, I peered at him and noticed a swipe of blood covering his pale cheek.

“Tallis, what happened, are you ok?!” I asked worriedly while pacing in the dirt. His eyes were shifty, and he leaned against sheet metal in a dark alley.

“You need to come, now. I’m not sure I can do this alone,” Tallis said. I peered at his stoic eyes through the screen and sucked in a deep breath.

“Alone? What happened?”

“They’ve been taken. All of them. I’m all that's left," Tallis said. A horn sounded nearby over the Tablet’s speakers, and he flattened himself against the wall while holding his breath.

“Send me your coordinates,” I said in a low tone while making my way towards Nikketa’s tent.

"I'm going to go to a safehouse outside of Dasos. We can regroup there," Tallis began. "Jules. I need you to promise me something."

I stopped walking and looked at him with wide eyes. He leaned back so that the shadow of the building covered his face, but I still felt his stare through the screen of my Tablet.

"If I don't make it, I need you to go back to Dormas. I need you to protect my people," he pleaded.

My heart sank as I took in the danger we faced. I wanted to leap through the Tablet and pull him through. I shook as nausea gripped me.

"I refuse to make such a ridiculous promise," I replied. “You’ll be fine.” I expected him to reassure me, but he didn’t.

“I just sent the coordinates. I’ll meet you at the safe house, be safe Agapimenos.”

I wanted to keep him on the line to reassure myself that he was ok. My mouth went dry with uncertainty and I cursed that I didn’t fight to go with them, that I didn’t trust my gut.

“Nikketa!” I yelled throughout the camp as I stomped through the maze of tents. With tears streaming down my face, I tried to make a plan. The fear that gripped me was nothing like what I felt when I learned of Cyler and Patrick's disappearance. This was a debilitating fear.

They’ve been taken. All of them.

His words circled over and over in my head. I wanted to crumble and scream. I couldn't think. Couldn't speak. I needed my Scavenger Chief with his riddles and kisses. I needed to feel the rumble of his voice. I needed to hold him.

A man with long white and teal hair stopped me.

“Are you okay Mistress?” he asked. I recognized him as the Scavenger that was Tallis’ sparring partner, Thurst.

I swallowed down the bile that threatened to snake up my throat. I placed a shaky hand on my forehead before speaking. “Can you show me where Mia’s tent is?”

“Sure,” he offered while pointing towards a tent to the left of us.

I briefly thanked him before running inside and finding her trunk of clothes. There was nothing but weapons and leather. If I was going on a rescue mission, then I’d dress the part.

I was going to wear trousers. Mother fucking trousers.