Chapter 18

Terra

"You know that you didn't have to come down here again so soon. I know it's expensive." I turned as Niki got into my car at a hotel just down from the ballpark. "And I'm a little hurt that you didn't stay with me."

She got in and buckled up, taking her time. "I love you. I'll always be here for you, and I didn't stay with you because Benji loves this hotel. Seeing that he's with me for the weekend, I figured I'd treat him to something fun."

I sat idle in front of the hotel. "So... are we waiting on him? Where is he?"

"Oh no. His best friend's mom already picked him up this morning. They have plans to make dents in the floor in front of a TV with Xbox live on it." She snorted and I smiled.

"Sounds like a good time." I pulled away from the hotel. "I wish you would have given me more heads up. Your text on my phone shocked me a little last night."

"Sorry. I figured you'd try and talk me out of it, or would want to pay for it." She shrugged, looking too cute for her own good. Her long black-brown hair was as straight as a board, but it made her look dangerous, sexy. "And it worked out just fine."

"Yeah. I guess so." I tugged at my seatbelt. "Where too?"

"Let's grab something to eat and go shopping." She pointed out the window. "Let's go to the big mall we always wanted to shop at when we were kids."

I laughed. "Funny how it looks so small now that I've been a few places in the world." I turned into the mall and parked. "Sit down meal or grab something and shop?"

"Oh, grab something and shop for sure." She got out and smoothed her hands down her blouse. "How was the transition from Oakland? Did you and Paul have it out again, or were things over from the last time?"

"I had to see him while I was there, but it wasn't too bad. I think part of him hoped that things would work out between us, but we really weren't suited for each other." I pointed to a pastry shop with a huge selection of treats in the window. "There?"

"Looks fattening. I'm in." She slipped her arm into mine as we made our way over there. "And what's going on with Danny? Any movement forward there?"

I pulled my arm from her and opened the door, holding it for her. "I don't know. I'm not really looking for anything from him, you know?"

"Can I go after him then?" She moved up in line and glanced back at me. The false innocence on her face had a torrent of emotions flooding through me. She was like a sister to me.

"Hell no," I barked at her. "What's wrong with you?"

She laughed and pointed at me. "See there. You do want something to go down between you."

"I hate you sometimes." I crossed my arms over my chest and turned to face the front of the line.

"No, you don't." She pressed her shoulder to mine. "You know he's into you, Ter. He has been since we were kids. Why not just give him a chance?"

"I did. Sort of." I moved up to the counter and ordered three different pastries.

"That for both of us?" She laughed and glanced over at me.

"Heck no. I had a long night. I need sugar and coffee seeing that it's too early to start drinking." I walked over to a small table by the window and sat down. After putting my phone down on the table, I leaned back. I'd almost expected Danny to text me the night before and say something. Fuck, anything.

But no. Nothing. He'd pulled back, and I honestly couldn't blame him. After the hostile reunion we'd had together, it didn't surprise me much that a few kisses and some oral sex hadn't fixed anything.

"So now you have my interest piqued." She sat down and leaned forward. "What happened between the two of you?"

I shrugged, not sure how much I wanted to tell her. She'd been my best friend for the likes of forever, but we weren't girls anymore. "We went dancing last night and ended up back at his place."

"Holy shit!" She slapped her hand to her mouth and glanced around. "Sorry."

"It wasn't that big of a deal." I reached for my phone and put it back in my purse. I'd be eyeballing the damn thing in hopes of him calling the whole meal. "Honestly. We made out and stuff, but once he found out I was still a virgin-"

"You told him?" Her eyes widened. "That must have shocked the hell out of him."

"I guess. It seemed to disturb him more than anything else." I turned and took the tray of treats from one of the cafe workers. "I thought we were walking around with this."

She shook her head side to side. "No fucking way. I want to hear all the delicious details."

Embarrassment swelled in my chest. "There's nothing to tell, Niki. We meant something to each other a long time ago and seeing that we're both single, we got together."

"And fucked?" She leaned closer, whispering far too loud for the small cafe.

"Ugh. Disgusting." An older woman got up from the table beside us.

"No. Well, oral sex, but he stopped things when I mentioned that I hadn't slept with anyone." I waved my hand in front of us. "Forget about it. Seriously. It was just a wakeup call that I was being an idiot. I'm his boss now. Sleeping with someone on the team or even worse, loving them, isn't something I need to do. You know that would never work out."

"I don't believe you're right, but I know how hard-headed you are." She leaned back in her seat and picked up something covered in icing and cherries. "If Brandon was still around, I'd have made a move on him."

"No, you wouldn't." I picked up my miniature cinnamon roll and took a big bite of it. "He's a horrible guy that doesn't deserve any of you."

"I know he doesn't, but I still miss him, Ter. He was my boyfriend from fifth grade through twelfth."

"And he abandoned you and Benji. Fuck him." Anger burned deep inside of me. Niki had been through more than her fair share of storms, and yet she persevered.

"I understand what you're saying, but I'm telling you that if he was here right now, I'd at least take him for a spin in the bedroom. He was amazing with his hands, and the thickness of his cock?" She moaned and closed her eyes as she ate another bite of her breakfast.

"But what about the moralistic issue here? It's not right."

"Fuck right. Right never did anything for me, Ter." She opened her eyes and leaned toward me. "You know how tiring it gets to have men ogling after you, throwing money at you while you strip and yet you're nothing to them."

"You need to quit." I offered her a napkin, hoping like hell that she would at least consider it. "Stripping isn't a profession."

"I'm a good dancer, and it makes more than enough money for me and my son." She licked her fingers. "I'm fine. You don't need to save me. You need to make a decision to work things out with Danny or close the fucking door. Stop playing around with your emotions and his. Give him your virginity and lock the past in place, or find someone else, but do something. Seven years of kinda sorta dating and living a lonely life has to be over. You know I'm right."

And I did know she was, but the need to defend myself roared to life. I tried to push it back down, but it rested on the back of my tongue, threatening to choke me if I didn't say something.

"Danny isn't the man he was."

"You're right." She picked up another pastry. "He's a grown man. He's thirty, Ter. He's looking for a wife and a family for him and Lyndsay. Believe me in this. Whether he knows it or not, he's looking. That baby deserves a momma, and our boy deserves a wife. He's not a bad guy, and we both know that too. The media has a field day with him because he's handsome, successful and an all-around American guy. Everyone wants to be him and every single gal out there wants to sleep with him. It's a fucked-up life for him to live."

I tilted my head to the side and studied her. "Did he pay you to do this? I feel like you should get a stipend from him or something."

She laughed. "No. I'm just speaking from experience. I'm not getting any younger. If I could find a good guy, scratch that if I could find a bad guy that was good to me and Benji? I'd offer him the world and my heart. It's about connecting and meeting people right where they are, not trying to turn them into something they used to be or might become one day. See him where he is right now and reach out, or close the door."

I nodded and shoved the rest of the cinnamon roll in my mouth.

She was right. I needed to step up to the plate or turn in my bat and glove. Something had to give, and it felt like it might be me.