Chapter 23

Caden

I turned to watch her walk out of the bedroom and let out the breath I'd been holding. A wave of emotion rolled over me, and I moved to the bed to sit down before my legs gave out. I'd been looking for her for six fucking years. Ever since the night I lost her I'd been looking. Trying to find her in the arms of another woman or in the number of dollars that got deposited in my bank account, but none of that mattered. Nothing did but her.

"I found one."

I glanced up and gave her a weak smile. "Awesome."

"Hey. What's wrong?" Her smile slid from her pretty face as she moved toward me. "Talk to me."

"Nothing." I reached up and touched her neck before standing up and pulling her tightly against me. "I don't want just tonight, Olivia. I can't imagine losing you again. I know it's ridiculous, but I feel like I'm going to."

"No. Hush." She pushed at my chest, causing me to drop back down to the bed. She moved to her knees and slipped in between my legs. "No worries for tonight. Just me and you. I want you. Please."

"I need a promise that this isn't just tonight. I can't do that." I touched the side of her face as she opened the condom and slid it over my dick. "I'm not that guy."

"I know you're not." She moved into my lap and wrapped her arms around my neck as I pulled her up further and pressed kisses to her breasts, taking my time to suck softly on each little pert nipple as she pressed down on me. "Love me."

"I do, baby. I do." I wrapped my arms around her and gripped the back of her shoulders and pulled, forcing her to take all of me. "Fuck. So tight."

"All yours." She leaned down and consumed my mouth as she began to rock her hips, massaging me with her sexy little body.

I moved my hands down to grip her ass tightly and tried not to remember the last time she let me deep inside of her. What a fucking nightmare that had been. Now was different. We were grown up and she wasn't a scared little girl anymore. I wasn't so sure if I'd changed much, but more than anything in the world I wanted to give her what I wanted her to have all those years ago. Pleasure.

"Hell yeah, you are." I stood up and turned before pressing her to the bed and moving us up toward the pillows. I pressed back into her and lifted up to my arms so I could get a clear view of how good she looked below me. "You always have been."

She moaned and tightened her grip on my upper arms as she lifted her hips off the bed and worked me good from underneath me.

"Work me anyway you need to." I moved to lay down on top of her and gripped her knees, pulling her legs up to open her up fully for me. I buried my face in the side of her neck and lost myself in the scent of our sex, in the sound of her coming over, and over, and over again.

We made love three times that night, and I couldn't help but worry a little about not having a condom for the last two. Somewhere during the madness to have each other again, neither of us cared much about the consequences. If I had my way, she'd have already had several of my babies.

I brushed my hand down her side as she slept with her back pressed against my chest. A peace I couldn't remember feeling held me awake and unwilling to miss a moment of her beside me. Just in case it was a ruse and she was soon to leave me again. I wanted to treasure every last minute she gave me.

Pulling her closer, I snuggled in tightly against her back and slid my hand around to cup her breast as sleep started to pull me under.

"I love you more than anything in this world, Olivia Desmant. Be mine? Forever, baby. Please." I kissed the back of her shoulder a few times and slipped into the darkness, finally giving up the fight to stay awake.

****

I sat up in a cold sweat to find her gone.

"No." I patted the bed beside me as my heart hammered in my chest. My nightmares had replayed the horror of my senior year as if I'd just lived it. "Olivia?"

I got out of the bed and grabbed my slacks from the pile of clothes on the floor. There was no reason to panic, and yet I couldn't stop myself.

"Stop. Shit. You dumb-ass psycho." I walked into the bathroom and splashed cold water on my face before staring at my complexion in the mirror. "She isn't your world. She can be a part of it, but you can't go back to worshiping her. It's not healthy."

I let out a shaky breath and closed my eyes. I couldn't hear anyone moving around in the hotel room, which caused my heart to race all over again.

After clearing my throat and wiping my face, I walked into the living room area and stretched. "Olivia?"

Nothing.

I moved into the extra bedroom to find the sheets messy. Had she left me when I fell asleep and come into the extra room? Why? I didn't snore. At least, I didn't think I did. Why would she leave?

"Baby?" I turned around and walked back into the kitchen to find a note on the table. Ice water ran through my veins, and I realized how fucked up it was that I was letting this affect me so much. Maybe I needed to run far from her. Something inside me felt the need to obsess over her.

I flipped the paper over and let out a soft sigh. She went for a jog.

"That's it. You need help. Fuck." I walked back to the bedroom and grabbed my phone, calling Jake. He answered on the second ring.

"Hey, brother."

"Hey man. You still up for getting together?"

"Hell yeah. Where are you? At your momma's place?" The sound of laughter filled up the phone.

"Naw. At the hotel. Who's laughing?"

"Mom and Kari. They're looking at my baby pictures. Come save me."

I chuckled. "Yeah right. Good luck with that."

"When are we getting together?"

"Tonight sound good?" I let out a tight sigh.

"Absolutely." He paused. "So... is she with you?"

"Yeah. I found out that Luke was cheating on her, so I told her last night."

"Awww, damn," Jake growled softly. "Kari's ex did that shit, and you know mine did too."

"I remember all too well about yours." I ran my fingers through my hair. "We made love last night."

"Really? That's awesome, Caden." He paused as I tried to catch my breath. "Why doesn't it sound like this is a good thing?"

"This girl destroyed me all those years ago, and she could do so much more damage now." I rubbed my chest and fell back on the bed. "What if she slept with me because she needed a rebound from Luke?"

"We're both talking about Olivia Desmant, right? The sweetest girl both of us have ever known, or is this some other girl that we've moved on to."

"She's not that girl anymore, bro. She's a woman now, and much like I've tried to create a whole new life, she had too. I'm just... I don't know. I'm being a vulnerable-ass girl this morning."

"You always have been when it comes to her." Jake laughed. "Did she tell you that she loved you?"

"Kinda. I think so. Fuck, I don't know." I pressed my palm to my forehead and tried to remember. "I want her to be my wife. I wanna ask her now, this weekend."

"Ask her." He made it sound so simple.

"Right. Anyway, we talked through all that shit from high school. I'm pretty sure she didn't start all that shit. She thought I started it." I snorted. "Who would do that to us?"

"Um, the cheerleading squad and the football team. You were king and queen of the homecoming court, Caden. Don't be a dumb-ass, bro. A sensitive guy over the girl of your dreams, yeah, sure, but not this. You guys were too good together. I could name fifty people that would have loved to pry you apart."

"Yeah, you're right." I sat up at the sound of the front door closing. "I don't know what to do, man. I don't wanna fuck this up."

"Cool. Then don't. Just be you, bro. That's who she's in love with. The old you. The one I call friend."