First off,” said Lucas, “nobody even knew you liked Ricky. You guys kept it secret.”

He’d never say this, but it was so strange having Ash here. It was like an optical illusion. A Cray! Not just any Cray, Ash, the one who was supposed to be Lucas’ mortal enemy. Sitting here, in this very game room! Drinking a beer and talking about old times like they were normal people, instead of bitter foes.

Still, his version of the story had been all wrong. Funny how Ash’s version made him seem like an innocent victim.

“Of course we kept it secret,” said Ash. “Ricky was cute, but where did he come from? Who was his family? My dad would have put a stop to it immediately, if he’d known. Callum was the only person I ever told.”

“Believe me, Ricky understood that,” said Lucas. “He didn’t like it. You acted like you were better than him, is what he told me.”

Ash shook his head. “Still didn’t give you the right to steal him from me, once you knew he was mine.”

That made Lucas laugh. “He was a human being, dude. He wasn’t yours. But there’s an even bigger problem with your version of the story: You didn’t invite me down to the quarry for a little gentlemanly conversation. You and Callum dragged me there to kick my ass.”

That made Ash stiffen up. “We did no such thing.”

“What, are you kidding me? Have you already gone senile? You were gonna whoop me. Not that you put it that way at the time. Hell, what was it you said? Phelps, we are going to crush you to dust. Something melodramatic like that.”

There was a long silence between them. Lucas hadn’t meant all this as an accusation, not exactly. He wasn’t looking for justice or anything like that. What’s past is past.

But sometimes things from the past are blurry around the edges, and you want someone to talk to about them, someone to firm up that picture you have in your head.

Ash was looking down at the table. He sipped his beer. “You know that wasn’t me, right? I was mad at you—furious—but Callum was the one who wouldn’t let it go. He kept insisting we had to do something about it. Defend the family honor. I’m not saying that excuses me. I took part in it. I’m share the blame. But by myself, I never would’ve tried dragging you down there.”

Now it was Lucas’ turn to look away. There was one more bit to the story, aside from stealing Ricky and going to the quarry and having a big fight. One more thing happened that day, that had changed everything, that had turned things from a battle to a tragedy.

“We thought it was over,” he said to Ash, “but then your brother punched Rex.”

“I remember.”

“He fell into the quarry lake. It was freezing, man. Rex almost died.”

Ash tilted the beer up and finished it, setting the bottle softly onto the table. “That still weighs on my mind,” he said. “We all stood around like we were helpless, watching him go under.”

“And for what?” asked Lucas. “Family honor? The great pleasure of dating Ricky for a little while?”

There was no humor in Ash’s laugh, only something bitter and cold. “He definitely wasn’t worth all that.”

This next part was hard for Lucas. The Battle of Cray’s Quarry was a story so ingrained with him and his friends, that they could recite all the facts in their sleep.

But there was this one part his friends didn’t know. One aspect of the story that might have changed everything. Might have prevented all the trouble, if he had just been honest.

When he looked up, he realized Ash was staring at him. “Do you want to say it, or do you want me to?” Ash asked him.

By instinct, Lucas looked around the room as though someone might be listening. He got a couple more beers out of the fridge and set one in front of Ash, opening the other for himself. He said, “It’s hard to keep a secret from your best friends.”

Ash nodded. “Like I said the other night, I’m surprised you did keep it secret. All this time, I’ve imagined that you were laughing at me about it.”

“They would’ve given me hell if they knew,” said Lucas. “We spent so much time kindling the fires of that feud, how could I tell them that I had been sleeping with you, until you dropped me for Ricky? Worse, you didn’t even tell me why. Just one day, we’re not going to do this anymore, no emotion, no signal that it ever meant anything to you. Then I start to hit on the new guy as a rebound thing…only to find out that you had already landed him. I was so mad at you.”

Ash nodded. “We were teenagers, though. It’s not like I had some great mature grasp of what I was doing. I felt entitled to whatever I wanted.”

“So did I,” said Lucas. “At least I grew up eventually.”

“Are you implying I didn’t?”

“Well, I don’t know. Do people actually change? Are you a different person now?”

Ash gestured towards the empties on the table. “I’d say my being here having a civil conversation with you is proof of that, isn’t it?”

“I mean, it was only a few days ago that you were threatening to destroy me.”

I want to believe you are different, Lucas thought. I want to believe that people can change. If they can, maybe there’s hope for me. But wasn’t Ash still the imperious snob he had been in school? Deep down, wasn’t he exactly the same as he had always been?

“You going to make me pay for that forever?” asked Ash.

“Maybe a little longer,” said Lucas.

“Fair enough. You know, I didn’t just dump you for Ricky.”

“It doesn’t matter, it’s old news.”

“No, it matters,” insisted Ash. “You don’t know the pressure I was under back then. I felt like my dad was watching my every move. Mine and Callum’s. Like he was setting us against each other, a competition to see who would be the best Cray, the one who could take over the business. Who had the steadiest hand and coldest heart?”

“I guess you proved that one.”

Ash bit his lower lip. It was a strange sight. He looked…vulnerable? Was that even possible? Crays couldn’t be hurt, could they?

He’s not a mythological beast, Lucas reminded himself. He’s a human being.

“I liked you back then, Lucas. I hated you, but I liked you. You remember how complicated it was.”

“It was crazy. Hiding from everyone. Bickering when our friends were around. Insisting to each other that there wasn’t anything real between us, that it was just for fun, just to mess around.”

“I was too young and dumb to understand what I was doing,” said Ash. “I had all this confidence, but nothing to back it up. None of the wisdom I needed. My dad put so much pressure on me to hate everyone who wasn’t family. If he’d found out about us—”

“Trust me, I know. My dad would’ve had my head, too.”

“Even though he never would’ve approved of Ricky, it would’ve been less of a disaster than him finding out about you, so it seemed like a relief to find Ricky. Like the stars had all lined up.”

It almost sounded like an apology. Of course it wasn’t; Crays didn’t apologize.

But Crays also didn’t take part in soul-searching conversations in your game room, yet here was Ash, looking thoughtful. He even looked at home, in a way that Lucas envied. Ash had that kind of confidence that made him look like he belonged, no matter where he was. He took command of every space. The game table might’ve been designed for him.

Don’t think about him that way, Lucas told himself. No sense in going down that road.

It was strange to feel so comfortable yet uncomfortable at the same time. When Lucas was with the guys, he could say almost anything, and knew that they’d support him. They understood him in a way no one else in the world could…except when it came to this one part of his life, the part he could never bring himself to talk about.

Here is the one person I can talk to about it, he thought.

“Did it change things for you?” Lucas asked him. He didn’t mean for it to sound as ominous as it did, but there must have been something in his tone that communicated his seriousness; the thoughtful look on Ash’s face grew more intense.

“The fight? The Ricky thing? All of it?” Ash used his thumbnail to scratch at the beer bottle label. “It taught me things about myself that I didn’t want to know. It was embarrassing to be beaten like that—seniors in high school, defeated by kids throwing rocks!—and for a while I felt like I couldn’t show my face anymore. I don’t want to overstate it. It’s not like my heart grew cold that day or anything melodramatic like that. But I spent so long after that being so angry. At you, at Ricky, at my dad. The only solution seemed to be to become more like my dad. Harder. More distant from the town, from all the people I knew.”

Lucas nodded. “Do you want to hear something awful?”

“Sure. Tell me something awful.”

“I haven’t been in a relationship since then,” Lucas said. “Not really.”

Ash sat up straighter. “What, since high school?”

“I told you it was awful. How could I trust anybody after that?”

“But Lucas, we were kids. Nothing but stupid kids.”

“Yeah, and you broke my heart, and my best friend almost died, and it’s like life was sending this clear signal I needed to be alone, that bad shit would happen if I got close to anyone other than my friends.”

Ash picked up his beer bottle again and looked down into it. “That is the saddest story I have ever heard.”

“I know it’s ridiculous. We’ve just had different lives. You went on to become a big business magnate, with guys throwing themselves at you.”

“I wouldn’t say that.”

Then what would you say? I want to know what your love life has been like since that time…but I’m scared to ask you. There was an urgency to this need to know that Lucas could not understand. He moved closer to Ash.

“Still,” he said to Ash, “you've probably been with a lot of guys since then.”

“You know how it is,” said Ash. “You get so busy at work, and then one day you look up and realize you forgot to meet anybody.”

Tell me you’ve been as lonely as I have.

Could he bring himself to just say it? Would he wait and wait, hoping Ash would give a signal?

That’s what he’d done before, all those years ago. He’d held back from talking to Ash, just waited to see what would happen. And everything had fallen apart.

He steeled himself. If he was reading Ash wrong, the rejection would be so painful. Just the thought of it made him want to clam up, to never speak to Ash again. Wasn’t it easier to be his enemy?

Be brave.

“I wish it had worked out differently between us,” said Lucas.

Ash’s face stayed still. Remarkably calm. It was the expression he must use in his business dealings: Give nothing away. Only the slightest movement of his eyebrow signaled that he had heard Lucas at all.

But that stillness itself seemed to be a signal. He feels it too. Something has changed between us. Or maybe it’s that something has gone back to the way it was when we were young, back before we burned each other out with the rivalry and the needs of our families.

But Ash couldn’t speak. Lucas understood that as sure as he understood anything in the world. Ash wanted to say something, wanted to make his feelings plain, but he had spent so many years holding in his feelings, playing the part of a cold and heartless businessman, that now that the time had come to be honest…he could only sit there silently.

Lucas was no better. His feelings were such a tangle right now. The past few days had been a tumultuous journey, and now he was alone with the one man on earth who could really understand that.

And he could have said something to Ash, he could have talked about understanding, and their shared history and all that, but he was so fucking lonely, and so stressed, and Ash looked so good sitting there, that old serious look that had always made him seem so much more mature than the guys back in school; it was like the rest of him had finally grown into that expression.

Wordlessly, he walked behind Ash and put his hands on his shoulders.

“Damn, you’re as tense as I am,” Lucas said. He worked his fingers into the tight, bunched muscles through the layers of clothes.

Ash chuckled, as though he would say something—and in fact Lucas was scared he would say something cutting, something insulting, something cold. Something that would stop this moment in its tracks. Instead, he murmured, closing his eyes.

Oh my god. He likes it. He wants this as bad as I do.

Not that Lucas wanted much. He wouldn’t dare try to put that into words. He just needed a break, needed something that felt good, that felt right, and if spending a little time with Ash could somehow cut through the tension, then it didn’t have to have any strings, did it? It could just be a onetime thing.

When he looked down, he saw that Ash’s head was back, and his eyes were wide open, staring up at Lucas. His eyes were wary. He wasn’t afraid, but he looked like he might bolt at any second. One wrong move…

Lucas lowered his head, and kissed Ash’s lips. It was soft, just brushing against his mouth, but then Ash reached up, suddenly there was a tangle of arms. It should have been slow, and subtle, with Lucas gradually hinting at what he had in mind, but they knew each other better than that. They knew what was going on, and neither felt like hiding it.

Ash rose from his chair, letting himself be encircled by Lucas’ arms. His lips pressed against Lucas, his tongue searching, his hands slipping under the back of Lucas’ shirt, finding the small of his back, fingertips up his spine.

Are you sure we should be doing this, he wanted to ask, but there was no way to ask that. If he asked it, Ash might bring logic into the situation, and logic said they were enemies, rivals, that it didn’t matter how they felt, they should pull apart, not draw closer, not tighten the grip each man had on the other, now feeling Ash grind against him.

When the kiss broke, there was no thought, no consideration, no calculation. Ash kissed his jaw, his throat. “Do you have a bed in this place?” he whispered.

He did. Lucas had a bedroom with a wide window that overlooked the forest. The lights were down low, the bed half-made, and he hoped that Ash wouldn’t look around the judge the furniture, but it was so clear that Ash didn’t care at all; he was pulling Lucas’ shirt off, tugging at his pants.

Some things never change, thought Lucas. Ash had always loved being in the driver’s seat. And Lucas was so nervous about this that he didn’t mind Ash taking the lead.

He sure as hell didn’t mind Ash’s mouth on him, kissing his collarbones, the line between his pecs, and on down the line of dark hair that crept down his belly.

I should say something, he thought. Just to set some boundaries. Make sure we know what we’re doing. I don’t want him to get the wrong idea—

All rationality flew out the window as Ash undid Lucas’ pants. There was no ceremony to it, he yanked them down, along with Lucas’ briefs, causing his hard cock to spring out and bounce, heavy and full and ready.

Some part of him realized, right then, that he had been waiting for this. Had somehow craved this moment, when he first saw those survey flags on the property, had hoped events would somehow lead him back to Ash, the energy Ash brought to everything.

Ash’s mouth on him, it was like he was starved for cum. He sucked and pulled and went down hard on Lucas.

That was the Ash he remembered. Oh god, how long had it been? How long had it been since anyone had made Lucas feel this way? It was all he could do not to finish, right this second. He had to get control, he had to make it last, because who knew when this time would come again? He bit his lip, putting his hand on Ash’s head, trying to control him, slow him down, when all he wanted to do was plunge deep into Ash’s mouth.

Ash knew it, too! He was looking up at Lucas with his big dark eyes, and knew exactly what Lucas was thinking. Ash had no intention of slowing down. He wasn’t going to let Lucas take control. He took all of Lucas’ cock into his mouth, swallowing, his fingers kneading Lucas’ ass at the same time.

Oh god, aren’t you going to let me enjoy this? Aren’t you going to give me some time?

But Ash wasn’t going to give him a chance. His mouth was so incredible, Lucas couldn’t help coming right away. He groaned, his mouth hung open, and he felt his balls tighten as they delivered their load.

Ash swallowed it all down. Not a single drop escaped his lips. And when Lucas had finished shooting into his mouth, Ash let his cock drop from his lips.

“I’m…whew,” Lucas stammered. “It doesn’t usually happen that fast.”

Ash shook his head. “I wanted it to. I wanted to get rid of that stressed-out look on your face. You calm now?”

“Oh yeah, I’m calm.”

An evil grin played over Ash’s lips. “Perfect.”

He stood up and threw Lucas down on the bed.

“Then it’s my turn.”