I can’t move after Cairo leaves the room. I’m frozen by his final words.

You’re a coward.

It wouldn’t hurt so much if he wasn’t right.

I am a coward.

I may be tough on the outside, but deep down I’m just a scared people-pleaser who’s too afraid to follow her own dreams.

Dad’s never beaten me or treated me badly, yet still his expectations intimidate me. Why am I constantly fighting for his pride? Am I worried that if I don’t play ball he’ll suddenly stop loving me?

I squeeze my eyes against the stinging tears. Pushing my fingers against my lids, I fight the battle and am just about to lose when the door behind me swings open.

“Oh, you’re still here. That’s good, I wanted to speak to you.”

Mr. Hale’s Scottish twang pings my body straight. I keep my back to him until I’ve blinked my tears away.

“I’ve been thinking about you a lot over the last couple of weeks. Cairo is so excited that you’re auditioning for the rock festival with his band. Avia and I will be there cheering you on.”

I give him a weak smile.

“Anyway, it got me thinking. Everyone in Velocity has been taking music with me, so they have a huge advantage when it comes to pursuing it. I’m particularly thinking about college. Now I know applications have already gone out and you’ve likely been accepted somewhere?”

I press my lips together and give him a noncommittal shrug.

I’ve actually been accepted into both colleges Dad selected for me, but if this scout likes me on Saturday, it’ll seal the deal. I have to take the school that will give me some form of financial support.

“Do they have music programs?”

“I don’t know,” I croak. “I’m not really going to study music.”

Mr. Hale gives me a long hard look, resting his hip against the window ledge before softly asking, “Why not? You’re a natural.”

I suck in an awkward breath. “Mr. Hale, I…” Closing my eyes, I can’t even think of what to say.

“Listen, Cairo’s mentioned that your family has very clear expectations for you, but I just don’t want you to feel boxed in. At the end of the day, it’s your life and you need to decide what you’re going to do with it.” Holding out a stack of brochures, he fans them with his hand and goes on. “All of these colleges offer stage one music courses. You can get in with no musical qualifications and quickly work your way up.”

“Really?” I can’t help myself, reaching for the brochures before my brain can start shouting, “No!”

“If you want, I’m happy to make a few phone calls and see if we can’t get you a late submission into one of these places. I don’t know how much luck we’ll have, but it’s worth a try.”

I flick through the glossy brochures, skimming words like music theory, practical exams, theater, performance, passion, enrichment.

All I can hear in my head is magic, magic, magic.

“I guess I just wanted you to know that you don’t have to study something someone else has chosen for you. There are opportunities for you to pursue your passion, Max-a-million.” He winks at me, obviously hoping for a smile, but I can’t muster it.

Instead, tears try to attack me again, making my nose tingle and my eyes burn.

“Excuse me,” I squeak before spinning on my heel and running out the door.

The bell for homeroom rings as I burst out of the music room. When I reach the stairs, rather than dashing up and heading for class, I turn left towards the bathroom.

I hide myself in a back stall and wait five full minutes before sneaking out through the gym.

I make it to the back field without being spotted and don’t stop running until I’m two blocks away from school.

I’m a miserable wretch right now and I kind of hate myself. The brochures in my hand are creased and starting to moisten with my nervous sweat. Easing my grip, I flatten them against my thigh and thumb through them again.

It’s all so enticing.

So terrifying.

Licking my lips, I slow my pace to an amble and try not to think about how much trouble I’ll be in for ditching class. Thankfully both Mom and Dad are working today so no one will be home.

I squeeze my eyes shut and nearly trip over the curb before righting myself and turning left towards home.

It takes me another ten minutes but I finally amble up my street and head for the back door.

I don’t even know what I’m going to do when I get inside. Probably hide out in my room listening to music all day. Sounds good to me.

Shoving the door open, I tuck the key back in my pocket.

My sneakers squeak on the kitchen floor but the sound disappears when I reach the wood in the dining room.

The house is so quiet with no one around. It’s almost unsettling.

But then I turn the corner and the day that I thought couldn’t get any worse turns to complete and utter crap.

“Uncle Rad?”

My superhero jerks to a stop, his eyes bugging out as I tip my head and take in the bag he’s holding.

“Going somewhere?” I murmur.

“Uh, hey, kid. What are you doing home?” He tries for a smile but it falls away before it can even form.

My belly pinches. “Are you okay?”

“I just…uh, you know, I was hoping to be out of the way before anybody got home.”

“You’re leaving?” It’s impossible to hide my surprise and disappointment.

He winces and mutters a quick “Yeah, I gotta go.”

“So, you’re bailing on me for Saturday? You’re sneaking out the door without even saying goodbye?”

“Look, we both know Saturday’s a long shot anyway. I’m not a genie. I can’t have you in two places at the same time. I thought you accepted that when you found out the audition time last week?”

I swallow, closing my eyes and willing the tears not to resurface.

“Look, I’m sorry, okay? But I gotta split. I’ve been here long enough and um…” His expression buckles with guilt, which really confuses me until I notice another bag at the edge of the living room.

I point at the green canvas duffle and frown at the black bag in his hand.

“Didn’t you come with just one bag?” I raise my eyebrows at the one he’s clutching. “What’s in that one?”

He runs a shaky hand through his sweaty hair. “Please, Max, you’ve got to understand. I need… I’ve got debts. They need paying and um…I’m outta time.”

“Debts?” My eyes narrow as realization slowly dawns. It’s like the sun rising over a city, but as the darkness melts away it’s replaced by a burning light that hurts the soul.

“Mom’s jewelry.” My voice trembles. “Maddie’s gold bracelet. You took them.”

His shoulders deflate with shame. “They fetched a good price, but it’s still not enough.”

My body jerks like he’s just shot me. “What else did you…?” I point to the black bag. My hand’s shaking. “What’s in there? What are you taking?”

Closing his eyes, he droops his head and softly murmurs, “Your baseball card collection…and the emergency cash your dad keeps in his sock drawer.”

My eyebrows pop high.

I don’t know what to say.

My Uncle Rad—my superhero—has just become a villain.

“Please believe me, Max. I wish I didn’t have to do this, but these people aren’t like the bank. They’ve got metal bats and brass knuckles, you know what I’m saying?” His voice pitches with desperation “They will literally kill me and bury my remains in the desert if they find me and I don’t have that money. Armitage has served me well. This whole area has been good. You know, I even tried to win the money back so that I could pay them, but…” His face distorts with a look of desperation. “I couldn’t do it, and I’m just racking up more bills, so I can’t stay anymore. I gotta go before they figure out where I am.”

The news is like a punch to the chest.

I still can’t find my voice within the shock. All I manage is a disbelieving laugh.

“I’m not a hero like my big brother. You know, I wanted to be, but I just can never make things work out. I can’t hold a steady job, and the jobs I do get don’t pay too good. Things have been tight for months and I was getting desperate. I don’t want to sleep on the street. Gambling seemed like a good option. I won big to start with and life was getting easier, but then I got caught in this cycle and now I can’t seem to stop. I don’t know how to stop, Max. And I’ve borrowed…I’ve borrowed so much and now I’m…I’m dead if I don’t go. They will shoot me in the head. Do you understand?”

It’s kind of hard to talk, but I manage to rasp, “Who are they? Who do you owe?”

“Aw, you know, a few different guys, but the uh…the Santiagos. They mean business, you know? They’re the scary ones.” His voice is trembling, his body shaking like an earthquake is trying to rip him in half.

“How much do you owe?” I croak.

“Well, those guys want fifty grand. At least that’s what it was a couple of months ago. Their interest is pretty steep, so…”

His voice trails off and for the first time in my life the guy looks like a loser—a pathetic, sniveling loser.

“They haven’t found me yet. I mean, that’s why I came here. It was easy to lay low, but now I’ve got guys in Cullington that are gonna want to get paid. And that’s real close, you know, so it’s time for me to move on. I’ll head south. Maybe I’ll cross the border into Mexico and get lost in South America or something.” He sucks in a shaky breath, remorse seeping into his bright eyes. “They can’t find you, okay? I don’t want anything bad happening to you guys. You’re good people. You’re strong, you’re decent. You’re not a coward like me.”

His final words rush out on a shaky breath as he grabs his stuff and makes a beeline for the door.

“Dad can help you,” I blurt. “You’ve got to tell him. He’ll want to help you.”

“I can’t.” His guilty gaze brushes mine before hitting the floor. “You understand that, right?”

Yes! But I don’t want to!

I want him to drive to the police station, to lay it all bare and for Dad to forgive him and fix it. That’s what Dad does. He fixes things.

“I’m sorry I let you down, kid. I’m really gonna miss ya. You were always my favorite.” Uncle Conrad flashes me a half-hearted smile, and then he’s gone…out the door to go sell all our stuff and desperately try to scrape together enough money to disappear.

I should call Dad right now.

Maybe he can somehow protect his little brother.

Or maybe Uncle Conrad will end up in jail and those debt collectors will make sure he never sees the light of day again.

Closing my eyes, I fall back against the wall and slowly slide to my butt.

Wrapping my arms around my knees, I press my chin against them and finally let the tears fall free.

* * *

I don’t know how long I sit there for. It’s long enough for my butt to start aching, but I can’t stop staring at the wall, lamenting Uncle Conrad’s betrayal and swift departure, and crying over my final words with Cairo.

I’m a coward…just like my uncle.

But look where that’s gotten him—running away from people who will shoot him if he doesn’t pay up. He’s addicted to gambling because he’s miserable, desperate.

I don’t want to end up like that, trapped in some life that’s destroying me. I don’t want to be so desperately unhappy that I start doing stupid stuff…acting out.

Maybe if Uncle Conrad had just found his way. Found a passion that could motivate him. Maybe he would have been all right.

I can’t do this.

I can’t go to college and play ball.

I need to find my way now. I need to stop this train.

The thoughts empower me enough to rise on shaky legs and stagger to my bedroom. I lie down on my bed and listen to music while I stare at the ceiling and keep thinking.

I think so damn much and so damn hard that my head is killing me by the time Dad walks into the house.

“Anybody home? Max! You here?”

I sit up with a gasp, ripping off my headphones and lurching off the bed. Fear pulses through me as my achy head reminds me of my resolve.

You can do this, Max.

Dad’s just stepping out of the living room with a confused frown when I appear in the hallway.

The second he glances my way, I quickly blurt, “I can’t play at the game on Saturday.”

Wow! I did it! I said it!

Aw, crap, what’s going to happen now?

Dad’s lips twitch like I’m playing a prank on him. Walking towards me, he lightly slaps my shoulders and holds me steady. “I see you’ve got a case of the jitters.”

“No, it’s not that.” I suck in a breath. “Truth is, there’s somewhere else I want to go. You see, I’ve been secretly learning the guitar for the past few months and I have an opportunity to audition for a rock festival with this band from school.”

Dad lets me go, his eyes still dancing with amusement as he crosses his arms. “Where?”

“Um…at a club in Brazenwood.”

“Right.” Dad’s laughter can’t be contained. It booms down the hallway, making me flinch. Pulling me into a hug, he lifts me off my feet. “Oh, Max. I always love the way you’re such a kidder. Coming up with this elaborate lie so I won’t punish you for skipping school today.” He plunks me back on my feet, all traces of humor gone. “Now, that’s not a phone call I enjoy getting from the school. Where have you been?”

“I…” Looking to the floor, I try to muddle through my confusion. Here I am, being all brave, and Dad wouldn’t even believe me. “I came home.”

“Yes, but why?”

“I wasn’t feeling well.” This is partially true. I’ve been feeling sick ever since letting Cairo down.

“Well, you should have gone to the nurse and had Mom or me pick you up.”

“I know.” I keep staring at Dad’s black shoes. “But you’re both working now and I didn’t want to bother you. I just walked home. I’m fine, really.”

“It’ll be the nerves. Saturday’s a really big day, but you’re capable of playing the kind of game that will get you selected. I just spoke to the scout again this morning. He’s very excited to meet you.”

I try to rally the courage for a second attempt at the truth, but Dad steamrolls it with a sharp lecture.

“I am disappointed you skipped school, Max. You’ll be getting detention. What a waste of your time. Now I covered for you today. You can have the afternoon off and I won’t make you go in for practice. A little rest will probably do you good.”

“But Dad, I have a clash. There’s this audition.” I rub my forehead, trying to find the courage to look up and face my father head on.

“That’s enough, Max.” Dad’s voice dips with warning. “The joke’s over. Look at me!”

I force my eyes up to meet his steely gaze.

“That game is your top priority and it will not be clashing with anything else. You understand me?”

“But I don’t want to—”

“You don’t have a choice. I don’t know where this stupid audition excuse is coming from, but you have been working your whole life for this, and I won’t let you throw it away.”

“But—”

“No! You need this.” He bends down, getting in my face and making sure his expectations can’t be missed. “You’ve worked too hard to give up on a dream the way your uncle did. You need this.”

My voice is barely audible as I try really hard not to be a coward. “Please, Dad, just hear me out. It’s not my dr—”

Dad’s phone interrupts me, the loud ring cutting off my confession.

I slump against the wall as he yanks it out of his pocket and barks, “Hello!… Oh, hi, honey. Sorry… No, I’m fine…”

I glance at Dad’s face and shrink back. His already dark expression grows blacker as he storms past me and heads for the bedroom.

Curiosity makes me trail after him.

“He did what?” Dad snaps while popping open Mom’s jewelry box. “Shit!” He then moves to his sock drawer and lets out another string of curses. “It’s gone! It’s all gone!” He closes his eyes with a heavy sigh. “Yeah, yeah, I know… Don’t worry. Leave it to me. I’ll handle it.”

I cross my arms when Dad turns to face me. He’s switched into police mode, his blue eyes sharpening as he studies my face.

“That was Mom. Apparently someone sold her diamond earrings to a pawnshop in Cullington. Her new boss was going on about how excited he was that he’d found these awesome diamond earrings for his wife’s birthday, and what do you know…”

My lips part in surprise.

“She’s just gotten off the phone with the pawn shop owner.” Dad’s lips bunch, his expression taking on a dark edge. “Is Uncle Conrad home?”

“No.” I swallow and look him in the eye. “I don’t know where he is.”

“You were home early. Did you see him?”

It’d be so easy to tell him the truth right now. But I’ve just tried to be honest and he completely ignored me. So you know what, screw it! Let Uncle Conrad have the head start he needs. Let him disappear to Mexico.

Hell, I want to disappear to Mexico right now!

“No, I haven’t seen him,” I murmur.

Brushing past my dad, I slip into my room while he mutters something under his breath and then tells me, “Stay put. I’m going into work for a little while but I want you here when I get home.”

Flopping back onto my bed, I cross my ankles and wrap my arms around my body as if I’m wearing a straitjacket. It may be invisible, but it feels pretty freaking real to me.