My lips are still buzzing as I drive home from practice. It was cut short because of the whole Luke thing. Everyone’s pretty gutted. I still can’t believe he betrayed us all that way…especially Holden. They were best friends. It’s got to hurt. He’s been kicked off the team and will most likely be expelled. It was hard to get fired up in practice today. Even Coach was feeling it.

As soon as he called it, Chloe took off so she could help Rahn at the Catholic church, and Holden is giving Maddie a ride home.

It was my suggestion. When I saw them making out in the hallway…and that happy look on her face…

So I guess I could have stayed and hung out with Cairo this afternoon.

I slap the wheel in frustration, wishing I had. I should have gone back and found him after practice. He’s probably in the practice studio right now, messing around on the guitar, singing to himself and being all kinds of hot and gorgeous.

Man, his kisses are pure heroin. Not that I’ve ever had heroin, but I’ve heard it’s really addictive. I brush my lips while Hailee Steinfeld fills my car with her beautiful voice. I’ve been listening to “Starving” and “Beautiful Soul” a lot over the past two days. They make me float. They inspire me.

I seriously need to tell my family what I want.

But I’m scared.

I’m scared if the truth comes out that they’ll try to take it all away from me. Dad will freak out and go into drill sergeant mode. Right now, he’s trusting me to stick to his schedule. He has no idea how far I’ve strayed from it.

When he finds out my deception, he’ll start keeping tabs on every part of my day. It’ll be like living in a straitjacket.

I just don’t know if I have the strength to crush his dreams of a baseball-playing daughter, and then hold steady on that course when he tries to convince me of everything I’ll be throwing away and how much I’ll let him down.

Plus there’s the whole college, scholarship money thing.

Groan!

“It’s only music!” I mutter. “Can’t I do both?”

I close my eyes, reminding myself that I have been doing both and baseball has definitely taken a hit.

If I want to play college ball, I seriously have to commit. I have to work harder than any guy, because I’m competing against a bunch of guys…nationwide.

“I don’t want to,” I whisper.

A shudder runs through my body.

Pulling the car into the drive, I turn off the engine and am shrouded in silence. It’s thick and nerve-inducing.

Cairo’s right. I have to tell the truth.

Should I do it tonight?

Maybe I should start with Mads…or Chloe.

Or both.

Yeah, good idea. I’ll definitely start with my sisters before I work up to my dad. He’ll have to be the final piece of the puzzle.

Shit, he’s going to hate me. He’ll be so disappointed.

I’ll get the speech about how I should be focusing all my energy on baseball.

I don’t want that speech.

Because I don’t know how to counter it.

That’s why I need Mads.

Pushing the door open, I notice Holden’s Mustang parked against the curb. He and Maddie are saying their goodbyes. They haven’t seen me yet. They’re too busy giving each other goo-goo eyes. I snicker and lean against the car watching them.

They take their time—flirting, smiling, kissing—until I can’t handle it anymore.

I walk up to the car and yank the passenger door open, scaring the crap out of Mads. “Max!”

I grin and wiggle my eyebrows at her. “We get it. You love each other. Now stop making out before Dad gets home and arrests his butt for, I don’t know…indecent girlfriend groping.”

Maddie giggles and wriggles out of the car.

Holden’s watching her the whole time, his expression all loved up.

These guys really have it bad.

Maddie leans against me as she waves goodbye with this dreamy smile.

“You are so pathetic, you know that?” I laugh, totally understanding how she feels but not wanting to give it away.

Nudging her off me, I head for the front door.

“Where’s Chloe?” Maddie looks at our car and then back to me.

“She’s doing that church volunteer thing with Rahn. Feeding families on the poverty line.”

She gives me a confused frown.

“She told us a couple of weeks ago. Rahn’s into all the charity stuff and you know Chloe. She can’t help herself when it comes to people in need.”

“She’s so sweet,” Maddie whispers.

I bite my tongue. My twin doesn’t need to know that Chloe’s still hurting over her and Holden. I’m guessing my lil’ sis is going to find lots of excuses to hang out with Rahn over the coming weeks. She totally played the “bigger person” card on this one. That girl has a heart of gold.

I slap Maddie’s arm with a grin. “I adore her too.”

“And I adore you.” She smiles at me.

I reciprocate until Maddie blurts, “Hey, can we hang out tonight? I feel like we haven’t done that in a really long time. I kind of miss you.”

I tense, my smile going tight. This is it. This will be the big moment where I bare my soul. I really hate doing that.

I move closer to the door, hoping my hands aren’t shaking as I reach for the handle.

Maddie’s right on my tail. I bet she’s about to spin me around and kind of demand we make it happen…in that sweet but slightly intimidating way of hers.

But she doesn’t have a chance.

The second the door opens, Uncle Conrad greets us with a booming laugh. “Mad Max!”

No way! What is he doing here?

An instant whoop pops from my lips and I run into his arms. He gives me a big hug, lifting me off the ground and spinning me around like he always does.

I can’t believe it. I love Uncle Conrad, and his visits are always the best!

“Look who came for an unexpected stay, girls.” Mom appears and Uncle Conrad puts me on my feet.

I laugh and smack his chest. He counters with a fake punch to the stomach and we start our standard play fight.

I love this guy. He’s always been my favorite relative—Dad’s younger brother. He’s fun, spontaneous, and you never know when you’re going to see him. He tends to breeze in and out, which is why I make the most of the times he’s around.

I take a step back as he greets Mads and asks what happened to her face. She’s polite but chilly, the way she always is. I don’t know why she’s so bitchy around him. I think she finds Uncle Conrad’s unpredictability unnerving and so she hangs back.

I say bring it on.

He’s a bit of a bad boy, but I love that he never puts any pressure on us. We can act however we want around him. He’s always laughing and joking, letting us do stuff our parents never would.

As he follows Mom into the kitchen to score himself another beer, Maddie sidles up beside me. “Uh-oh. Here’s trouble.”

“Or fun,” I counter, annoyed that she has to be such a party pooper.

I dash into the kitchen to find out a little more about how long Uncle Conrad will be here.

“Not sure, kid.” He swings his arm around my shoulders. “But thought it was time I caught up with my family again.”

“Well, it’s great to see you.” I squeeze his waist and then spot Mom’s expression.

It’s so obvious she doesn’t want him here. She’s never really warmed to the guy. I have no idea why. Uncle Conrad’s a harmless puppy.

I give her a pointed look and say, “Come on, Rad. I’ll find you some sheets and blankets. You’ll be sleeping on the couch in the living room.”

“Sounds good to me.” He swigs his beer and trails after me as Maddie slips into the kitchen to no doubt bitch and moan with my mother.

I lead my uncle down to our room to find the spare blankets shoved in the top of our closet.

“Sheets are in the hall closet,” I say over my shoulder.

Uncle Conrad grabs them and then steps into my room. He gazes around, his pale eyebrows rising. “Where’s all the baseball stuff? Signed posters used to be standard décor in your room.”

“Oh, I, uh…I share with Maddie now, so…” I shrug and then grunt as I wrestle the blanket free.

“You’ve still got your baseball card collection though, don’t ya? That thing must be worth a bomb.”

I snicker and bob my head. “Yeah, it’s under my bed. Not exactly high security, but I have it hidden behind a suitcase, so that’s something right?”

“You used to be obsessed with that thing. I still remember when you were seven and you told me that you were going to have the biggest collection in America. It was gonna make you rich.”

I snort and shake my head. “I have no memory of saying that, and I can’t imagine Dad ever letting me sell any of them, so the rich thing is hardly applicable.”

“Huh. I thought you could use it for your college fund.”

I clutch the blanket to my chest and softly murmur, “College fund. That’s not a bad idea.”

“But hey, he probably doesn’t think you’ll need to, what with getting a scholarship and all.”

I harrumph but don’t say anything.

Uncle Conrad drapes the folded sheets over his arm and narrows his eyes at me. “So, how are things with you?”

I shrug and paste on a smile. “Yeah, good.”

He doesn’t believe me, but is nice enough to change the subject. “Want to tell me what happened to your sister?”

I lean my shoulder against my closet door and give him a brief recount. “She caught a thief mid-robbery and he beat the crap out of her trying to get away.”

“Whoa.” His eyebrows rise.

“You don’t know the half of it. It’s been drama central around this place.” I roll my eyes. “But I think things are starting to settle down. Maddie’s scored herself a boyfriend.”

“Oh yeah?” Uncle Conrad chuckles. “It’s not another stick-up-the-ass brainiac, is it?”

I laugh and shake my head. “She’s gone jock this time. He seems pretty cool. Captain of the baseball team.”

Uncle Conrad bobs his head before draining the rest of his beer. “So, how about you, then? Any love on the horizon?” He wiggles his eyebrows at me and for some reason I just can’t hide it.

My smitten smile must give it away because he lightly punches my arm with a soft whoop. “No way. Never thought I’d see the day. You’ve been so busy being a boy all your life, I thought it’d never happen.”

“Shut up.” I shove his shoulder and point at him. “And I’m serious, don’t say anything, okay?”

“Nobody knows?”

I wince. “I just haven’t found the guts yet. He’s not a sporty guy. He’s everything Dad isn’t. I just don’t think it’ll fly.”

“What’s he like?”

I swallow. “Rock star. Long hair, in a band.”

“Sexy as all hell, right?”

I bite my lower lip but can’t stop the smile.

“You’re scared your old man’s going to take it all away, aren’t you?”

My smile disappears. “I know I should tell my family. I really like this guy…I mean a lot. Sneaking around is only getting harder.”

“Well, don’t you worry about that.” He winks at me. “Your Uncle Rad’s here now. You sneak away as much as you need. I’ll cover for you. I am an expert in parent evasion.”

Lurching forward, I wrap my arms around his neck. “Thank you.”

He rubs my back. “Anything for you, Maxaroo.”

I kiss his cheek and practically skip to the living room. Looks like guitar lessons might be in the cards again this week.

The buzz inside of me is wild and electrifying. I can’t wait to text Cairo and tell him.

* * *

Dinner was awkward and somewhat painful. Chloe wasn’t there to bring her special brand of sweetness to the table, which only left my sour-faced mother, my cautious sister and my dad—the interrogator.

Uncle Conrad handles it with such class. He answered all of Dad’s questions with a grin or a chuckle. He’s been working construction in Nevada for the last year, but felt like it was time to move on. He wants to travel the country, checking out places he’s never been to before, finding work where he can. I think it sounds awesome, but of course Dad’s not impressed.

He went on about stability and asked Uncle Conrad when he’s going to grow up already, once again lamenting the fact that his kid brother could have been a star baseball player if he’d just shown some grit and stuck with it. He was all lined up for a college scholarship, but thanks to his drunken antics and failing grades, he missed out. In the end, Uncle Conrad skipped college altogether and has been jumping from one job to the next ever since.

Dad really hates it.

I rolled my eyes and gritted my teeth throughout the meal, not wanting to draw attention to myself. There’s nothing worse than family tension, which is yet another reason why I haven’t found the courage to bring up Cairo.

Although, with Uncle Conrad having my back, I might be able to delay the inevitable a little longer. He’s already found the perfect cover for me, offering to help me with my training. It cut the tension instantly. Dad gave him a grateful smile and then started talking through my training schedule, oblivious to the subtle wink his sneaky brother shot me across the table.

Sliding into bed, I flop down on my pillow and stare up at the ceiling. Maybe I should still tell Mads, though. I mean, she is my twin. I can trust her, right?

The door opens and I glance her way as she shuffles into the room. Her face is creased with worry as she runs her fingers through her damp hair and reaches for a brush.

I perch up on my elbow. “You okay, sis?”

“Yeah.” She gives me an absent nod before quickly brushing her hair, but then dumps the brush and turns to face me. “Actually, no. I’m not. I just…” She looks over her shoulder at the door, her eyebrows dipping together.

“Please tell me this has nothing to do with Uncle Conrad. He’s not that bad.”

She sniggers, gives me a yeah right look, and then plunks onto the edge of her bed. “It’s Chloe.”

“Is she not home yet?” I sit up.

“Yeah, she got home about ten minutes ago, but she seems kind of shaken.”

“What do you mean?”

“I don’t know…pale, jittery.” Maddie shrugs. “She said she was just tired, but when I tried to press her, she gave me that look. You know, the don’t push me one?” Hurt scuttles across Maddie’s face before her eyes dip to the floor. “She used to tell me everything. You both did, and now we’re all drifting apart with our own little secrets.”

Maddie’s sad whisper breaks my heart and I lick my lips, ready to fess up.

Nerves attack me with a force I don’t expect and suddenly my fat tongue forgets how to move. The lump in my throat grows to a hard knot that makes it impossible to swallow.

With a heavy sigh, Maddie flings back the covers and slides into her bed before facing away from me.

“I just hope it’s not the Holden thing, you know? I mean, she gave me her blessing, but maybe I shouldn’t have taken it.”

“No way,” I croak. “You and Holden are happy. Don’t screw that up now. Chloe’s going to be fine.”

Maddie lifts her hand into the air and then smacks it down on her leg. “I hope you’re right.”

I go still, waiting for her to roll back over and ask me about my secrets, but instead she murmurs, “I’m so exhausted. Holden’s gutted over this whole Luke thing and now Chloe’s acting weird. My head is killing me. I just need to go to sleep and stop worrying about everyone. Can you get the light, please?”

It’s like a get out of jail free card. I quickly turn off the lamp between our beds before lying back down and unsuccessfully going to sleep.