Dex didn’t know what had changed after Serge went into the house to use the bathroom, but he was subdued when he returned, and he remained that way for the rest of the afternoon. Even through plates of amazing barbecue and burgers, and then cake and dancing, Serge was quiet and withdrawn, nursing one beer after another, until he was fairly drunk.

As the party wound down, a soused Serge clung to Gaven and asked to be driven home. Gaven cast a helpless look at Dex. “You don’t want Dex to take you?”

“Tired,” Serge said on a yawn. “Wanna go sleep this off.”

“It’s fine, if he wants to go home with you,” Dex said. All his instincts now screamed that something had happened, but Serge obviously didn’t want to talk to Dex about it. The beer was a clear indication, so Dex would respect his wishes, despite everything inside him protesting.

Serge only talked when Serge wanted to talk.

Still, it cast a dark cloud over what had been a fantastic day. He walked Serge to Gaven’s car, mostly because Serge was listing a lot, and then buckled him into the front passenger seat.

“Take care of him for me,” Dex said to Gaven. “Something’s wrong.”

“I will, I promise.”

Dex watched them drive away, concerned and annoyed, before returning to what was left of the party. Mostly a few guys helping clean up the yard, so Dex pitched in. After the leftovers were stored and the last guest gone, Tarek handed Dex a beer and they settled on the deck chairs to relax.

“So Serge left without you,” Tarek said.

Dex rolled his eyes over the obvious statement. “Yeah, I can see that. He was drunk and wanted to sleep it off.”

“Does he do that a lot?”

“No. I mean, we both enjoy a good margarita when we get tacos, but I’ve never seen him drunk before. I swear, something changed after he went to the bathroom.”

Tarek flinched.

“What do you know?” Dex asked, leaning forward in his chair. “Tarek?”

“Serge promised he’d tell you himself, but I guess I should have made him promise to tell you tonight. Not getting a timeframe was my mistake.”

“Tell me what? What happened?”

Tarek fiddled with the neck of his beer bottle. “All I know is what little I observed. I went inside to get something and I heard people shouting in my bedroom, so I went to see what was going on. I found Serge in there with Monte and Tegan.”

Dex bristled. “What the hell was Tegan doing here?”

“He wasn’t supposed to be. Monte snuck him in. They were smoking in my room, the assholes.”

“Why was Serge in there?” If either one of them touched Serge, Dex would break their hands.

“I asked Serge what was going on, because everyone looked furious. He told me he was waiting to use the bathroom, and he overheard Monte and Tegan talking about him. Tegan apparently suggested he should lure Serge into the room so Monte could…you know.”

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Dex nearly threw his bottle against the fence. “What did Monte say?”

“I honestly didn’t care to get his point of view. I believed Serge. I also told Monte off for inviting Tegan in the first place, and then I told them to leave.”

Dex gaped at his best friend, surprised and amazed Tarek had taken Serge’s side over that of a long-time friend. “Really?”

“Yes, really. I’d cuff you for your skepticism if I didn’t understand it. Monte was outright rude to Serge, and I don’t know what else Serge overheard, but that was enough for me. Tegan is a bad influence, and Monte’s alphahole tendencies have gotten worse since he mated.”

“I want to beat their heads in for saying such a thing about Serge. For even joking about assaulting him. How dare they?!”

“I’m sorry.” Tarek looked genuinely miserable. “Monte’s supposed to be your friend, too, and he should have more respect for you and your boyfriend.”

Dex took a long pull from his beer but found no pleasure in the fizzy drink. “Sometimes I look back and wonder how much of it was actual friendship on Monte’s part, and how much was keeping his fuck buddy on his good side.”

“Sorry, man.”

“I just hope Serge doesn’t shut me out because he thinks I’ll defend Monte. Goddess, if I’d overheard Monte saying that, I would have pushed him through the fucking window.”

“And that’s partly why we agreed to keep it until after the party. Serge didn’t want to ruin your birthday.”

Dex grunted. “Yeah, well, I’d hoped to spend the evening with my boyfriend, not you.”

“I know. But you and Serge, man, you guys have something. Fight for it, even if he tries to push you away.”

“I will. I love him, Tarek. I don’t want to lose him.”

Dex wasn’t sure his heart would survive if he did.

* * *

The next day, Dex called Serge three times. The first two, Gaven answered and said Serge wasn’t home. Dex wasn’t sure if Gaven was lying or not, but the third time, Serge picked up.

“Hey, I’ve missed you,” Dex said. “How’s the hangover?”

“It’s fine.” Serge sounded exhausted, though. “I’m sorry about yesterday. Ditching you like I did.”

Dex stared at the blank TV screen opposite his sofa, wishing they were having this conversation in person. “At least it wasn’t ten minutes into the party like the first time you ditched me.” His attempt at humor didn’t quite work.

“I’m sorry.”

“Hey, it’s okay. After the party wound down, Tarek told me what happened. Or at least, what he knows.”

Serge made a startled sound. “I told him I’d tell you.”

“To be fair, I know Tarek pretty well, so I could tell he was hiding something from me. He figured you would have told me last night, instead of trying to avoid me.”

“I wasn’t avoiding you. Not on purpose.”

“Will it help if I say I want to hunt those pricks down and slam their faces into the pavement?”

“It helps a little. I didn’t want you to be mad Monte and Ivan left the party because of me.”

“Serge, they left because of Monte’s actions, not yours. I don’t know all of what happened, but it sounds as if you were standing up for yourself, and I’m glad you did. I’m proud of you for that.”

“I lost my temper in front of two alphas. If Tarek hadn’t shown up, I’d have probably gotten my ass kicked.”

Dex growled. “Then Tarek would have had two dead alphas in his bedroom.”

“It’s nice of you to say.”

“I mean it. You should know by now that I’d do anything for you, Serge.”

“Except distance yourself from alphas.”

“That’s not fair.” He thought they’d settled this old argument. “Tarek has gone out of his way to befriend you.”

Serge didn’t say anything, and Dex cursed their distance. He wanted to see Serge’s face, to interpret his mood. To hug the breath out of him and promise everything would be okay.

We have to be okay.

“Are you free for dinner?” Dex asked.

“No, I have to work soon.”

“Tomorrow?”

“Can we give it a few days, Dex? Please?”

No, absolutely not, we need to fix this right now. Please, help me fix us.

“If that’s what you need,” Dex replied.

“It is, thank you. I know you’re upset, but I need a few days.”

“I’m not upset that you need time. I just wish you’d let me share this burden with you. It’s okay to lean on other people and let them carry the load for a while.”

“I have to go, Dex. Take care of yourself, yeah?”

“You too, Serge.” I love you.

He hung up without saying the words beating brightly in his heart. He did love Serge, a whole hell of a lot, so he’d give Serge what Serge thought he needed: time and space. It would hurt, because Dex missed Serge like crazy, and it had only been twenty-four hours. But he’d gotten through long separations before; he’d manage this one.

Naturally, that was easier said than done. Other than a few scattered phone calls in which they discussed nothing deeper than work or the weather, the next two weeks slogged by at a distressingly slow pace. Serge was avoiding him, and it hurt. Dex wanted to be the guy Serge leaned on, the guy Serge went to with his problems. But Serge was keeping an intentional distance again.

Would this always be the way? Serge got upset and he managed it alone, while Dex waited in the wings, hoping to get Serge’s full attention back? Dex wasn’t sure he could handle that, but he also knew he couldn’t handle losing Serge. Maybe betas didn’t feel the same mating bond as alphas and omegas, but Serge was imprinted on Dex’s heart, and he’d never be free of that, no matter what choices they made down the road.

Pick me. Please, goddess, let Serge pick me.

* * *

Serge had never been so exhausted in his life, and for a nurse, that was saying something.

Thanks to a food poisoning outbreak in the main staff cafeteria, a good chunk of both nursing and housekeeping were out sick, and had been for several days. Serge was fine, so he and Gaven were both covering extra shifts to keep the hospital running. Some days, he worked thirty-six hours straight, with only a few power naps on gurneys or the floor of an unused ER cubicle.

The extra work was a good excuse to avoid Dex, though, so Serge embraced his exhaustion and took any shift offered to him.

Three weeks after Dex’s birthday, Serge trudged into his building with twenty-four hours of free time looming in front of him, and all he wanted to do was sleep. He even braved the death-trap elevator, because the stairs were way too much work right now. His addled brain barely had the sense to hit the right floor number, and then he leaned against the wall for the brief ride up.

The hallway smelled wonderful, like basil and garlic, and it didn’t occur to Serge that those scents were coming from his apartment until he unlocked the door and it blasted him in the face.

How does Gaven have the energy to cook?

Serge dumped his keys on the table by the door, then really took in the apartment. The living room was tidy, when he remembered it being a neglected disaster the last time he saw it. Everything looked clean and dusted. The dining table was set for two, and it even had a silver candlestick with two lit candles on it.

“Gaven?” Serge said. Confusion swamped him and made him a little dizzy as he walked toward the kitchen.

Dex stepped out of the kitchen doorway wearing an apron that said “Kiss the Cook” and an oven mitt. “Welcome home,” he said with a grin.

Serge stared stupidly. “You’re here.”

“Yes, I am.”

“Where’s Gaven?”

“Sleeping at my place. He agreed we needed some time alone. It’s been a while.”

Serge was still having trouble understanding what he was seeing. “Work’s been crazy.”

“So he said. Which is why you have me as your personal servant for the next twenty-four hours. Starting with dinner.”

“You cooked?”

“Yup. I can actually cook a few things, I just don’t tend to bother cooking for one all that much when takeout is simpler. You like lasagna?”

“Definitely. I’m shocked you didn’t make tacos.”

Dex laughed. “Tacos aren’t as romantic as pasta. Go sit, I’ll have the food out in a moment.”

Serge wanted to protest that he was exhausted and needed sleep, but being around Dex again had slowed something inside Serge that had been running at full-throttle for weeks. He could think a bit clearer, relax a lot more, knowing his Dex was here.

My Dex.

Goddess, Serge had missed him, and this was the first time he’d admitted as much to himself. He had no good explanation for pushing away someone he wanted near him so badly.

I have one very good reason in Monte Porter.

They really needed to talk, so Serge sat while Dex brought out a basket of steaming garlic bread, and then a pan of lasagna. Dex served them both food and wine, and Serge watched him, a small smile teasing his lips. It was all so domestic and easy, as if they’d been sharing meals like this their entire lives.

The food was delicious, and Serge complimented the chef, but they mostly ate in silence. Serge savored his meal and the quiet, because he really didn’t want to have a serious chat until after he’d slept, and Dex seemed to understand that. Once Serge had eaten his fill, he leaned back in his chair and cracked a big yawn.

“Go get some sleep,” Dex said. “I’ll clean this up.”

Sleep sounded like heaven, but, “Will you be here when I wake up?”

“Yes. Twenty-four hours, remember?”

“Good. I’ve missed you, Dex.”

“Me too.” Dex came around to his chair and kissed Serge lightly on the lips. “See you in a few hours.”

“Okay.”

Serge slid into bed a few minutes later, completely at ease knowing Dex was in the apartment with him, and he slept like the dead for a long time. When he woke, sunlight was streaming in his bedroom window and ten hours had passed. His bladder was also mad at him, so Serge dashed across the hall to do his business.

Then he appeased his curiosity by checking the living room, only to find Dex snoring away on the couch, covered by a throw blanket. Serge watched him sleep. Dex looked so innocent asleep, as if nothing had ever caused him pain or anger, so Serge left him there while he took a shower.

Refreshed and clean, he put on coffee, and the scent of the stuff brewing must have woken Dex, because he shuffled into the kitchen just as Serge was pouring himself a mug. Dex’s hair was flat on one side and messy on the other, so he reached out and tried to tame the wild side with his fingers. Dex put up with it in exchange for his own mug of coffee.

“Morning,” Dex said. “Or afternoon, I guess. Sleep well?”

“Best rest in ages.” Serge couldn’t make himself admit it had everything to do with Dex being nearby. “You?”

“Your couch is lumpy.”

Serge laughed. “Yeah, sorry. You should have slept in Gaven’s bed.”

“I didn’t even think about it. Oh well. Are you hungry? We can heat up leftovers for lunch.”

“Sounds perfect.”

They set about the task of dividing up portions for the microwave, and then putting more garlic bread in to toast. Serge poured a second mug of coffee before they settled at the dining table to eat. Another mostly silent meal, but it wasn’t awkward or odd. It was…domestic. Real.

Right.

Dex wasn’t used to quiet, nonverbal meals after growing up with three siblings, but he loved them with Serge. They didn’t need to fill the space with small talk, or banal conversation. They could simply exist together and enjoy their food, and Dex loved it.

Once they’d mostly finished eating, Serge said, “I didn’t mean to eavesdrop on your friends.”

Dex put his fork down, his complete attention on Serge, glad the man was finally talking to him about this. “Okay.”

“Monte was complaining about Ivan resisting sex outside heat, and I didn’t know his name at first, but Tegan asked about you as an outside source, and that made me pay attention.” Something angry and protective sparked in Serge’s blue eyes. “Monte said you were off the market because of me. Did he really ask if you’d fuck around with him again?”

Dex flinched. “Yeah, a few days before my birthday. I told him no, that I wouldn’t help him cheat on Ivan, and that I was one-hundred-percent faithful to you.”

“Okay. Thank you.”

“Of course. I told you I haven’t been with anyone else since we started seeing each other.”

“I know, and I trust you.”

“Okay. So then what happened?”

Serge grunted. “They started saying things about me.”

“What things?” Dex had an idea, but he needed to know how badly he’d beat on his former friend.

“How they’d both fuck me if they could, but that I was uptight and maybe I needed a good fuck to relax. They joked like it was the funniest thing in the world. Like they could talk about luring someone into a room to rape them, and it was okay. Monte said I needed to learn a lesson in how to talk to alphas.”

Dex pressed his fists into his lap so he didn’t accidentally lash out and scare Serge, but good goddess, he wanted to strangle Monte with his bare hands for even suggesting Serge was anything other than perfect, much less for joking about assaulting him.

Serge sipped his coffee, then cleared his throat. “That did it. The comment about needing a lesson. I snapped and stormed inside. Started yelling at them about the things they’d said.”

Dex would have paid good money to see Serge screaming at an alpha.

“They tried to play it off like they were only joking,” Serge continued, “but I wasn’t backing down. I don’t think I’ve ever been that furious in my life. I was done being trampled on, and when Tegan said I needed a lesson in respecting my superiors, I swear it took everything in me not to hit him. I probably would have if Tarek hadn’t interrupted.

“For one split second, though, I was terrified of Tarek, because I was yelling at his friends, in his home, and I didn’t know who he was going to defend. But then he wouldn’t let Monte or Tegan tell their side, and he listened to me.” Serge’s angry expression cleared a bit. “Tarek believed me and he defended me. I didn’t expect that, and we talked a bit after he kicked Monte and Tegan out. I think I could be Tarek’s friend, Dex, I really do.”

“I’m glad.” Dex reached across the table this time, and Serge gave him a hand to squeeze. “I’m so glad Tarek stepped in when he did, and I’m glad he’s proving himself to you. Monte, on the other hand…he either apologizes to you, or we’re done as friends.”

Serge’s mouth fell open. “You’re serious?”

“Perfectly.” Maybe now was the time to say it. “I love you, Serge, and I won’t put up with anyone disrespecting you, not even an old friend. You’re the most important person in my life.”

Serge blinked several times, his eyes getting watery and bright. “You love me?”

“I do.” Might as well throw it all onto the table, since they were sharing secrets. “I have for a while, but I wasn’t sure how or when to say it, because I’m not sure you feel the same way about me.”

“Oh.”

Not the response he was hoping for, but at least Serge hadn’t dismissed his feelings, or announced he didn’t return them. “I know you’re guarded,” Dex continued, “and I know you aren’t used to relying on other people, but you can trust me. When something goes wrong, like at my party, it hurts when you pull away, instead of us working it out together. That’s what partners do for each other. I want to be the person you turn to when you’re hurt or upset, Serge, not the person you push away.”

Serge wiped his eyes with a napkin, but they stayed wet with unshed tears. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry, just help me understand. Please.”

“It wasn’t fair of me to ask you to give up your friends, and I’m sorry I said that. I was confused and hurting, and I lashed out.”

“You were confused and hurting alone, Serge. That’s what I don’t understand.”

Serge let out a sound softer than a sob, but harsh enough that it sent tears down his cheeks. “I pushed you away because I’m falling in love with you, too, and it terrifies me all the way to my bones.”

“But why, baby?”

With a cry, Serge jerked out of his chair and walked into the living room. Dex grabbed his cane and followed, keeping a distance between them. Not wanting to crowd Serge, needing him to reach out first. When Serge turned to face him, his eyes still leaked tears, but the emotions had changed. Instead of fear, Dex saw anger and resentment and torment.

“I’m scared because I let myself fall in love with the wrong person once,” Serge said. “And he betrayed me in the worst possible way. He nearly destroyed me.”

As if the admission had taken all his strength, Serge sank to his knees on the living room carpet. Dex went to him, cradling Serge in his arms, and he held tight while his boyfriend cried.