It turned out to be easier than Jonah expected to walk away from college after years of hard work. He’d expected to feel like he’d let himself down or failed in some way. In truth, Jonah felt nothing at all. Maybe he was still numb from losing John. Perhaps he’d given his all and knew it. Whatever the reason, after leaving school and taking a long hot shower, Jonah didn’t look back. That chapter of his life was now closed.

It was a nice night. He should go out. There wasn’t a damn thing he wanted to do. Cricket’s food bowl was still full from that morning. That was another thing he wasn’t needed for, it seemed.

Jonah scooped up Cricket. “You didn’t eat your food again. Look, buddy,” he said, kissing his baby’s head. “I know you miss Daddy. I do too, but you have to eat. We can’t wither away.” He curled up in the recliner with Cricket on his lap. Jonah ran his fingers through the dog’s fur. “Besides, you still have me. I know I’m not much.” Jonah’s voice cracked on the admission. His throat swelled. Everything hurt. The silence was deafening. He couldn’t recall the last time he’d felt so alone. At least when his friend Driver had lived across the street, he’d had someone to visit. Now there was no one. What had he done with his time before John?

“Are you tired of doggie food? Maybe I should get us something artery-clogging. You can’t have chocolate, but you could have a little pizza.” Jonah lifted Cricket so they could hold gazes. “Pizza never left anyone and never called again, right? I think we need a little of that in our lives. I’ll run down to Sergio’s and get us the good stuff. How’s that sound?”

Any fucking thing sounded like a lifeline. The silence was crushing his eardrums. Jonah left Cricket in the recliner while he found some shoes and his wallet. He couldn’t splurge forever. His savings account wouldn’t hold out for long. Sooner or later, he’d need to find a real job. It wasn’t that he was opposed to working. Jonah had always hoped to do something that fed his soul. He hadn’t found that thing yet.

Jonah drove slow to Sergio’s and took the long way. He didn’t call ahead. There was no rush. Sitting inside the restaurant, waiting for his order, made him feel a little less alone. Maybe he’d stop at an actual movie rental place. They had one left in town. What did single people do? A wave of depression washed over Jonah. He’d learn. Since Jonah had zero desire to ever date again, he’d have to figure it out.

“Jonah Young.”

At the sound of his name, Jonah pushed to his feet and made his way to the counter. Normally, the smell of pizza in the air would’ve been enough to rush him along. Tonight, he wasn’t hungry. He was simply going through life’s motions. Jonah drove home, taking the long way again. He was in no hurry to sit alone inside his house. In fact, he circled the block twice before convincing himself to pull into the driveway. It wasn’t like there was anyone around to judge him.

As he came through the door, pizza in hand, he automatically used his feet to block Cricket from running out. The dog didn’t meet him. He was still in Jonah’s chair. Something wasn’t right about that. After setting his haul on the coffee table, he checked on the dog. His breathing seemed shallow, and he didn’t move.

Panic slammed into Jonah. He couldn’t take another blow. When he lifted Cricket into his arms, the dog was limp like a rag doll. Jonah’s heart raced.

“No, no, no. You’re not allowed to leave me too,” Jonah cried, racing for the door. Tears filled his eyes. There was an emergency vet a few blocks away. Jonah didn’t know what else to do. He could barely breathe much less see straight enough to drive. Somehow, he still made it without killing anyone on the road. Jonah raced inside with Cricket held to his chest. A blonde woman working the front desk took one look at him and jumped to her feet, meeting Jonah halfway.

“I don’t know what’s wrong,” he rambled, sounding panicked even to his ears. “He hasn’t been eating, but I thought he was just depressed Now, he’s not responding to anything.”

“I’ve got him,” she said, taking Cricket from his arms. “Kelly will have you fill out some paperwork, but I’ll take him straight back.”

Jonah nodded. “His name is Cricket.” He didn’t know why it mattered so much that she knew the dog’s name. Maybe he hoped if she knew the dog’s name, she’d realize Cricket was important to someone and do everything to help him.

Jonah filled out paperwork, barely comprehending anything he signed. His mind was with Cricket. Time passed like some sort of unreality. There was no one else there to witness him coming apart, giving Jonah the freedom to switch between pacing and sitting. He fought the urge to text John. It seemed like he should let John know, but Jonah worried it would seem like a ploy. John was done with him. He didn’t care anymore what happened to Jonah, much less Jonah’s dog. Jonah was alone. When a man wearing dark blue scrubs stepped into the waiting room, Jonah flew to his feet.

“Mr. Young?”

Jonah nodded. “It’s Jonah. How is Cricket?”

Instead of answering, the man waved Jonah forward. “Follow me. I’ll take you to see him. We can talk on the way.”

With a nod, Jonah followed. As they cleared the doorway to the back, the man held out his hand. “I’m Dr. Perry, by the way.”

Jonah accepted the man’s handshake. His hand looked unnaturally pale in Dr. Perry’s dark grip. “Thank you for caring for Cricket,” Jonah said for lack of anything else.

“I’ve made him comfortable.”

Against his will, Jonah’s eyes fell closed at the words. He knew what they meant. Jonah had known from the moment he found Cricket lifeless that there wasn’t any hope. That was how life went for him. When he lost, he lost everything. Life never half-ass fucked him. “Tell me.” Even Jonah heard the dead note to his voice.

“Cricket has pancreatitis, which isn’t uncommon for his breed. Usually, it’s highly treatable, but in Cricket’s case, it caused a blood clot that damaged his brain. He’s having trouble breathing on his own. I’m so sorry.”

“So he’s suffering,” Jonah surmised. He felt like he was the one dying. Jonah wondered if he could convince the doctor to put him out of his misery. It would be the kindest thing anyone could do for Jonah.

“I know a lot of people don’t like to sit with their pets while they pass,” the doctor said as he led Jonah into a room with Cricket.

Jonah couldn’t look at the man. All he could see was his poor baby with an IV and oxygen, but still trying to get to Jonah. Jonah moved to Cricket’s side and ran his fingers through the dog’s fur. “I’ll stay with him. It would break my heart twice as badly if I knew he was scared without me.”

The doctor nodded. “I’ll find you a chair.”

Jonah didn’t bother responding. He wasn’t sure how a chair would make a damn bit of difference. Jonah blocked out the world and focused on Cricket. He rubbed the tiny dog’s head and whispered his love. Jonah did and said whatever he could to make things easier. It was like watching the last piece of his life with John die. In a way, Cricket had been their baby. When it was done, Jonah just felt empty. He was completely alone in the world now. Nothing mattered anymore.

After two hours in bed, Jonah had given up on trying to sleep. Since then, he’d paced the floor, checked his bank balance, cried a little more, and checked the classifieds for job openings. He didn’t need to make much to survive. With his house and car paid for, his expenses weren’t high. It was odd how having a broken heart made everything else seem insurmountable. Paying Cricket’s vet bill and final expenses had taken almost every cent Jonah had in savings. He might, if he stretched everything he had left, make it another two weeks without a job. Possibly he could start something minimum wage right away. Who knew? He wasn’t good at anything. It was depressing as hell that he was almost twenty-four and had done nothing with his life. There was one option he couldn’t avoid thinking about forever...

With his heart in his throat, Jonah logged into the sugar daddy’s website. His biggest fear was seeing John back on the site as well. Everything had been bad enough lately. Jonah couldn’t take the blow. He hovered over the “view profiles” option before chickening out and switching to the settings. He re-activated his profile and quickly closed the lid on his laptop. There. It was done. He took a deep breath. He’d let someone pick him from the site. If no one did, then he’d find another way to get the money to replace what he’d spent on Cricket’s cremation. A lump formed in his throat. His phone buzzed across the desk, saving him from another round of tears. An unfamiliar number stared up at him from the face of the device.

555-5769: This is Cricket’s vet, Tyrone. I got your number from your file. I hope that’s okay. This is a quick update on Cricket. He made it to the cremation center earlier. I took him over myself. I don’t want to overstep any boundaries, but are you okay?

A sad smile pulled at Jonah’s lips. He hadn’t known Dr. Perry’s name was Tyrone. The man seemed nice—like he truly cared about animals. Jonah couldn’t ignore him.

Jonah: Thank you. I really appreciate the way you’ve gone above and beyond to care for Cricket’s remains. Thank you for checking on me.

After sending the message, he saved Tyrone’s number as a new contact. He didn’t know why. It simply gave him something to do with his hands. After hitting save, the phone buzzed again.

Tyrone: I notice you avoided my question.

Jonah pressed his lips together to keep from smiling. It seemed wrong for some reason.

Jonah: Sorry. You probably don’t want a genuine answer.

Tyrone: It sounds like you need coffee. There’s a place close to my office. Coffee Sensation. I’m headed over there now. If you’d like, you can meet me there. If you’re busy or don’t show, I’ll pretend I never asked.

Confusion had Jonah’s brows pulling together. He stared at his phone and chewed his bottom lip. No doubt, the guy was just being nice, but Jonah still didn’t know how to react. Tyrone hadn’t seen Jonah at his best. There was no way the man meant anything by the offer. Jonah glanced around. His house had never felt so empty. Fuck it. Jonah shoved his phone in his pocket and grabbed his keys. He couldn’t sit here another second. Maybe Tyrone only meant to be nice and didn’t really mean for Jonah to meet him, but Jonah had nothing else. It was a lifeline he couldn’t ignore. Still, the short drive to Coffee Sensation left him a bundle of nerves. As he walked through the door, he was hyper aware that he looked a mess. His jeans were ripped in four places and his t-shirt had dried paint stains from his art class. Jonah was also fairly certain his hair stood in a few places. He hadn’t even glanced in the mirror before leaving.

Jonah spotted Tyrone at a table in the back. He sipped at his coffee and stared down at his phone on the table. He wore the same style scrubs he had the night before. Unlike Jonah, he looked well rested and put together. Jonah paused at the edge of the table, unsure of what to say.

Tyrone glanced up. A welcoming smile stretched his lips. “You showed.”

Jonah shifted from one foot to the other. “Hey.”

“Hey,” Tyrone said back, sounding sweet.

An odd desire to blush hit Jonah. He dropped his gaze to his hands as he pulled out the chair across from Tyrone and sat. It took every ounce of Jonah’s will to meet Tyrone’s gaze again. He cleared his throat. “So. How are you today?” Even to Jonah’s ears, he sounded like he was simply making conversation.

“I’m okay.” Tyrone’s sweet brown gaze moved over Jonah’s face. “How are you? Never mind. Don’t answer that,” Tyrone added just as quickly. “That’s an unfair question today.”

Jonah swallowed, wishing it was easier to breathe. “What are you drinking? It smells good.” He was only making conversation. His heart hurt too badly to be uncomfortable, but he also didn’t want to sit in silence.

“Toffee coffee. What can I order you?”

“I just came to keep you company. Since I haven’t been to bed yet, I should probably skip the caffeine.”

“You were really brave last night. A lot of people won’t stay with their pets in their final moments. It’s too hard. You were amazing.”

Jonah’s stomach hurt. His eyes burned. He didn’t want to cry anymore. More than anything, he didn’t want to lose anymore. He didn’t know how to respond. “Maybe I’ll take that coffee after all.”

“Do you want it or are you searching for anything else to focus on?”

The question had Jonah blinking away the pain. His throat wouldn’t work to answer.

Tyrone pushed to his feet. “Come on. If you’re game, I’ll show how I manage day in and day out, dealing with death.”

Jonah stood. He didn’t know Tyrone. It seemed a bit insane to go anywhere with the man. He wasn’t worried. Anything was better than how he felt now, even turning up dead in a ditch.

There were no staples in his desk. It was such a small thing to set him off, but John fought the urge to put the stapler through the wall. All he needed was one goddamn staple. As much as he paid every fucking one who worked there, somebody could order the supplies needed. He stormed for the door.

“I’m going to the office supply store,” he barked over his shoulder.

His receptionist scrambled after him. “Mr. Green, I’ll go. Just tell me what you need.”

He glared at her as he used his back to shove open the door. She backed away. An ounce of guilt tried worming its way in, but it wouldn’t take. If he had to run his own goddamn errands, what was he paying other people to do? He fumed all the way to the store. There was a tiny voice in the back of his head, whispering he should just call Jonah. He should admit he made a bad decision and couldn’t live without him. Whatever John had stolen from Jonah by standing in the way of his education, John could fix. By the time he made it to the supply store, John had talked himself into calling Jonah and back out of it again. Damned if he knew what the right thing to do was. He slammed the door on his SUV much harder than he intended.

“John?”

John glanced over his shoulder at the sound of his name. He caught sight of a familiar-looking guy. John couldn’t place him. “Yeah.”

The blond guy moved closer. John noticed his light hair was actually grayer than blond. There were also deep lines around his dark blue eyes. “It’s Steve,” he said, as if that cleared up the entire matter.

John blinked at him. “Okay.”

“We used to work for competing medical supply companies.”

Oh, Steve. Yeah, he remembered. They used to run into each other at least once a week at different doctor’s offices. Damn. He looked old. John hoped he didn’t look that old to other people. “How have you been?” John tried to sound like he wasn’t as annoyed as he was. He didn’t want to talk to anyone or make nice. John wanted to be alone if he couldn’t be with Jonah.

“I’m good.” His gaze slid down John’s body. “You look amazing. I thought I’d heard you were working on some health food thing. You look the part.”

Ha. He couldn’t wait to tell Jonah. His brain froze. One day, that wouldn’t be his first thought every time something happened. It seemed today wasn’t that day. “Yeah. I’m helping to run my brother’s company. It’s done well for me. What about you? Are you still hitting up the doctors?”

Steve nodded. “It’s what I’m good at, I suppose. What are you out doing now?”

John cast a glance toward the store. “Picking up some supplies.”

“We should grab some lunch,” Steve suggested. He bit his bottom lip as if he’d really put himself out there by asking. John hated to say no in the face of the guy’s embarrassment. It wasn’t like he had anything else going on.

“What did you have in mind?” Even John heard the reluctance in his tone. He smiled, trying to take the bite from his words. “The place next door looks dead,” he added, motioning toward a steakhouse within walking distance. It was just lunch. He wasn’t cheating on Jonah. Goddamn it.

Steve motioned toward the restaurant. “After you.”

The instant his ass hit the seat inside the restaurant, John knew he’d made a mistake.

“John.” The bellow had his head whipping around. David headed his way.

Fuck. “Mr. Baker. How are you?”

“Good. Good,” he repeated. His gaze slid Steve’s way. “Where’s Jonah?”

Double fuck. David Baker was one of their biggest clients. As Hendrix had pointed out, David obviously liked Jonah. “School.” John kept his voice firm, as if he really knew where Jonah was, and Jonah knew exactly where John was.

“Ah, that’s too bad. I hate that I keep missing him. We were interrupted the last time we spoke. What did you say he studies at Stanford?”

“Engineering.” John hoped by keeping his answers short, he could survive this conversation. He motioned toward Steve, not wanting to seem like he was hiding anything. “This is Steve. He’s in sales too.”

David cast a quick glance Steve’s way, giving the man a nod before just as quickly dismissing him. “Since I’ve missed him twice now, let’s do dinner one night. I’d love to hear all about what Jonah plans to do with his degree.”

John nodded. “We should do that. Let me talk it over with him and get back with you.”

“Or we could hit that new place on the bluffs after the Blackwell charity event.”

Fuck his life. He’d forgotten all about the upcoming event. “Maybe so. I’ll let you know.”

“I look forward to your call.” With a final nod Steve’s way, David headed for a nearby table where three other men sat, waiting.

“Is Jonah your son?”

John fought the urge to cover his face. Things weren’t going his way. It was like Jonah was his good luck charm and he’d thrown the man away.

“Are you ready to order?”

He could’ve kissed the waitress for her good timing. He flipped up his menu, hiding from Steve. “This says something about your famous soup of the day. What is that?”

“You should probably stick with the salad. Soups have a lot of sodium,” Steve pointed out.

John ground his back teeth. “So do dressings. I think I’ll have the soup.”

Steve shrugged. “Whatever. People like you keep people like me in business.”

A pain bloomed behind John’s eyes. An ache exploded through his chest. He missed Jonah. John missed ordering what he wanted and feeding his baby cake. “Maybe we should just order dessert and skip lunch.”

A loud snort escaped Steve at the suggestion, but he didn’t respond.

John set the menu aside and dug out his wallet. He didn’t mind paying. In fact, if he could be with Jonah right then, he’d give any amount of money. John handed a fifty to the waitress. “For your trouble. Thank you.” He set another on the table. “Please enjoy lunch on me. I just wanted one goddamn staple,” he muttered under his breath as he slid from the booth. Without a backward glance, he headed for the door. Probably the guy thought he was an ass. Well, Steve would be right. He was the ass who’d ruined the only thing that mattered to him. Agreeing to lunch in the first place had been an insult to his heart. It was best he left a bad impression. That way, there was no chance of making the same mistake twice. It wasn’t like he’d ever touch anyone else again anyhow. John’s personal life was over.

Despite the fact that his life had been nothing but shit lately, Jonah couldn’t stop smiling. The litter of puppies he’d just helped feed with medicine droppers were squirming all over him. They were so young, their eyes were still closed, and they were the most precious things he’d ever seen.

“You’re smiling.”

Jonah glanced up from the tiny brown balls of fur and met Tyrone’s stare. “They’re so cute.”

“You’re cute.”

Heat exploded through Jonah’s face. He glanced away.

“I didn’t mean to embarrass you,” Tyrone added.

Jonah shrugged. “You didn’t. I just...” He shrugged again, uncomfortable.

Tyrone dropped to the floor next to Jonah. “I think you’ve found your calling. Have you ever thought about working with animals?”

Thankful for the subject change, Jonah met Tyrone’s gaze again. He shrugged. “I’ve spent the last five years at Stanford, trying to get my engineering degree.” He pulled a face. “I’m not sure more education is the answer for me.”

“School isn’t for everyone,” Tyrone said, reaching over and petting the tiny puppy Jonah held. “Not everything needs more education. Some things just need someone with heart.”

Jonah worked up a genuine smile. He hadn’t felt like he could talk to anyone in a long time. Tyrone felt like someone who would listen. “Thank you for this,” he said, nodding toward the puppies. “Things have been really bad lately. Honestly, as much as I’m enjoying myself, I don’t know how you do it. I don’t think I could handle every day being like last night.”

“Some days can seem pretty dark, but this is what I’m supposed to be doing. I truly believe that. I mean, think about it. What if when Cricket fell ill last night, I hadn’t been here? What if you’d had nowhere to go? It wouldn’t have changed anything. There was nothing that could be done, but you wouldn’t have known that. Cricket would’ve passed at home and you would spend the rest of your life feeling like you didn’t do all that could be done. I couldn’t help him, but I was here, and I gave you that small peace. This job, it’s hard some days, but it feeds my soul.”

Jonah couldn’t stop staring at Tyrone. He wanted to feel the way Tyrone did—like anything at all fed his soul. As stupid as most people would think it was, that was how Jonah had felt about being with John. Every time he made John smile or eased his life in any way, it made him feel worthwhile—like he had purpose. He wasn’t sure he’d ever feel that way about a job.

An embarrassed-looking smile touched Tyrone’s lips. “I guess I sound crazy.”

“No.” Jonah set his hand on Tyrone’s arm without thought. “You’re amazing, and you’re right. When I needed you, you were here. That matters.”

Tyrone shifted just enough that Jonah found his hand inside Tyrone’s. Tyrone’s thumb lightly stroked him. “You look tired.”

A snort escaped Jonah, and he rolled his eyes. “I’m not surprised.”

“You’re still gorgeous, though. I’m not sure you’re capable of looking bad.”

Jonah didn’t know how to react. He was too tired to think on his feet. It seemed he should probably shut Tyrone down before the man got the wrong idea. Jonah wasn’t sure he wanted to. “You’d be surprised.”

“I’d like to find out.”

The blush he’d been barely holding in exploded across his cheeks.

A sexy-sounding chuckle escaped Tyrone. “Come on. I’ll take you back to your car. You should probably try to get some sleep.”

Jonah cast a longing glance toward the puppies. He didn’t really want to go back to his empty house. “Okay.”

“I would love it if you’d come back and help me out again,” Tyrone said, obviously taking pity on him. “It’ll be weeks before these little guys can leave here. Their mom didn’t make it, so they need someone to feed them and cuddle them in her place.”

“I’d love that.” Even Jonah heard the smile in his voice.

Tyrone truly did have a sexy smile. “Let’s get all these little guys back in the incubator.” They worked side by side, loading all the puppies into the incubator, where they’d be warm. The next Tyrone spoke, he sounded unsure again. “I don’t want to make you uncomfortable again, but maybe I can hang on to your number and text you again sometime.”

Jonah glanced over. Tyrone was standing very close. He could see the gold specks in Tyrone’s brown eyes. “I wouldn’t be opposed to hearing from you again.” He tried to sound unaffected.

Tyrone’s smile said he failed. “Maybe I could also take you to dinner some night.”

Jonah’s phone buzzed before he could respond. He had a notification from the sugar daddy app. While keeping his phone tilted where Tyrone couldn’t see, Jonah opened the app.

You have one offer.

Jonah clicked on the offer.

$500 for a black-tie event. Click Accept, Decline, or Counter-Offer.

His stomach churned as he hit accept. The smile pulling at Jonah’s lips as he shoved his phone back in his pocket didn’t match the trepidation in his heart. “Maybe I can take you to dinner instead?” He’d spent years as the one being cared for, and he’d been left behind. Jonah didn’t relish the thought of being at anyone’s mercy again. Maybe, for once, he’d be the one to spoil someone.

The surprise in Tyrone’s expression made the impulsive offer worthwhile. “Go home. Get some sleep. Text me when you’re up.”

A hint of shyness had his gaze skirting away. “Okay.” His gaze slid back Tyrone’s way. There was confidence in the way Tyrone watched him. The saddest thought of all hit Jonah. It must be nice for someone to know their worth. If Tyrone never heard from Jonah again, he’d be fine. Just like everyone else on the planet.