My first week at Re-Mix wasn’t the fun-loving, free-spirited walk in the park that I thought it was going to be. I had to work my ass off. I was used to working hard, but I wasn’t used to waking up at nine o’clock in the morning and being in one spot all day. There was so much to do regarding training and orientation. While I was blessed to have a full-time job, I missed the easy-going schedule of my unstructured freelance days. By Friday night, I was exhausted.

“Have you heard from him?” I asked Meghan about Derrick.

“No. Have you heard from him?” Meghan asked me about Carlos.

“No.”

We sat silently on the couch eating popcorn and watching a movie we’d seen many times before.

“Are you going to call him?” I asked her.

“No. If he wants me, he’ll call me. I’m not going to chase him.” She put a handful of popcorn in her mouth and chewed. “Are you going to call him?”

“I thought about it on Tuesday because I didn’t like how we ended things on Monday. But I didn’t know what to say. It doesn’t feel like there’s a point.” I shrugged, feeling that tightness in my chest that indicated I might start crying soon.

“Has he called you?”

“I haven’t unblocked him.”

“Why?”

I was quiet for a long time. “Because talking to him is only going to cloud my judgement and make me weak in the knees.” I shook my head. “You weren’t there, Meghan. I had made up my mind. I was leaving, and I wasn’t going to talk to him anymore. And then he walked me to my car, and he looked at me.”

“Oh, noooooo,” she mocked me with a horrified expression. “He looked at you! How dare he?!”

I laughed, tossing a popcorn kernel at her. “You’re the worst.”

“All jokes aside, I get it.” She paused before giving me a rueful smile. “It’s the magic.”

I nodded. “I couldn’t fight it. I spent a week preparing to see him, and it took a stroll to my car to derail my plan.” I chomped on my popcorn.

“And here it is almost two weeks since you blocked him, and you still can’t stop thinking about him. What are you going to do if you can’t shake him?”

“I don’t know. I just… I don’t know. We wouldn’t work.”

“I understand why you don’t think it’ll work with him. I get it and I agree with your point. But it’s hard because I know that you believe in magic.”

“I’ve never felt like this before, but what am I supposed to do? Date a man who is privately one of the best men I’ve ever met but publicly encourages fuckboys to be fuckboys?”

“He’s no City Boy.”

“Yeah, but he’s still on the show.” I paused. “You know Alex hasn’t been on a date since that tutor guy. She won’t even wear anything lowcut or even remotely revealing. She posted a picture of her and her friends at this social on campus, and she’s wearing a dress with a high neckline.” I made a face. “Alex is basically wearing a turtleneck every day because she feels uncomfortable because of what happened with the newsletter. My sister is scarred because of City Boy. I was harassed and kicked out of Koi because of a Date Night listener. There are real consequences to the ‘advice’ they’re passing out.”

“You’re right.”

I let my head fall into my hands. “But I can’t stop thinking about him.”

“Because of the magic between you two.” She rubbed my back. “And because of his dick”

I lifted my head and laughed. She wasn’t wrong.

“Yes and yes. But it’s so much more than that,” I admitted before popping another kernel in my mouth and avoiding eye contact. “I’ve never felt seen by a man the way he sees me. He looks at me and it’s like he sees me. He treats me like his equal. He calls me on my bullshit. He can handle being called on his bullshit. He makes me laugh, and he makes me feel special. But he’s…”

“A Lost Boy?” Her voice was soft and sympathetic.

I nodded.

“You want someone who can defend your honor?”

“Well, he showed me that he can and will defend me. But when he did it, he was defending me from someone who took advice from his show.”

“It’s a hard one. What does your heart say?”

“To call him. To date him. To be with him.”

“And what does your head say?”

“That at the end of the day, the fact that he doesn’t see anything wrong with Date Night will end us before we can even get started.”

“So, what are you going to do?”

“I don’t know,” I groaned, rubbing my temples. “I don’t know at all.” I dropped my hands and looked at her. “What does your heart tell you about Derrick?”

“Fuck him. On to the next one.”

“And what does your head say?”

“Fuck him. Literally. The sex was good.” She shrugged as I laughed.

“So, what are you going to do?”

“I’m not going to call and if he doesn’t call, fuck it. He’s not my soulmate. He’s a nice guy, but we don’t have much in common. I wouldn’t walk away from the man that is meant for me, and the man who is meant for me wouldn’t walk away from me.”

“True story.”

I was in my head for the rest of the night. I went to bed early and woke up late. And around noon I decided that I should unblock him.

“I’m scared,” I announced as I ate my salad for lunch.

“Scared to unblock him?”

“Scared to fall for him.”

“Ummm…”

I turned my head to look at her. “What?”

“Sounds like it’s already happening.”

I thought about it. “Yeah.” I sighed. “Even more reason to be scared.”

“This man has you all shook up.” She smiled. “How about you stop stressing about him and think about something that is undoubtable a win. You are about to have your photographs hanging in Rich Gallery at a reception put on by Luca Romano!”

“Oh my god! You’re right!” I stuffed my mouth full of lettuce and chewed.

When did I lose my focus?

The answer was obviously when I started catching feelings for Carlos.

“Do you know what you’re going to wear? Are your parents driving up? Is Alex still coming? Did you tell anyone at Re-Mix?”

“My parents are coming. Alex is coming. I didn’t tell anyone at Re-Mix because I don’t know any of those people. I don’t want them to come and think I’m obsessed with dicks.”

“Ah…true.” She nodded. “Good call.”

“It’s bad enough my dad will be there.”

“Yeah. You should’ve told your dad not to come. That’s going to be awkward, and I hope you don’t think I’m going to stand with them when you’re showing yours.” She made a face. “No offense, but I like to enjoy my dick print photos without your mom and dad judging me.”

Chuckling, I tried to chew the salad in my mouth. When I finally was able to swallow, I cracked up all over again. “You are free to roam the gallery.”

“What are you wearing?”

“I don’t know yet. What are you wearing?”

“I don’t know yet. But I have this lavender streaked wig that I wanted to introduce to the city.”

“Why don’t you wear that black bodysuit? That’ll be sexy, and it’ll draw attention to your hair.”

Her eyebrows flew up. “I didn’t even consider the black bodysuit. I’ll be out here looking like a sexy burglar. Is it too much?”

“Not with the blazer. And then if we go out afterward, you can lose the blazer, and you’ll be club ready!”

“Yes!” She threw her arms in the air. “Now what are you going to wear?”

We spent four hours figuring out what I would wear, how I would style my hair, and what shoes I’d put on my feet. By the time we’d finished, it was almost time to leave.

“How do I look?” I asked as I stepped into the living room.

Meghan and Alex catcalled as I stepped out in a long-sleeved, plum sweater dress and over-the-knee black, leather boots.

Spinning in a circle, I smiled uncertainly. “I don’t know if it’ll work for the club, so I’m bringing this, too.” I held up a short, tight black dress.

“Oh, that’s sexy!” Meghan shouted. “When did you get that?”

“This summer. I haven’t worn it yet, and I didn’t tell you two thieves about it because I wanted to wear it first.”

“I would never!” Meghan feigned shock.

“Well, I’m staying out of your closet for a while,” Alex commented.

I knew it was meant to be lighthearted, but I couldn’t help but notice the slight edge in her voice. My eyes quickly flicked down and took in her appearance. In a blue sweater dress with plum colored tights, she looked beautiful. But she only wore stuff like that when we were home and going to church. Ever since the newsletter came out, she dressed a lot more modestly. If that were her style, I would’ve been cool with it. But I hated that The Lost Boys took something away from her and made her feel that she had to completely cover her body.

“Oh!” Alex burst out, looking down at her phone. “Mom said that her and Dad are leaving now.”

“Okay, cool.” I looked at my dress and then my clutch. “Okay, I have everything, so I’m leaving now. I’ll see you guys at seven.”

“You’re going to be so early,” Alex pointed out.

“I know, but I’m nervous, and I need to get myself together beforehand,” I explained.

“Nervous to show off her affinity for dick prints,” Alex told Meghan in a loud stage whisper.

Rolling my eyes, I giggled. “And on that note, I’m leaving!”

“Good luck!”

“You got this, Kiki!”

“Love you guys!” I waved goodbye and left.

I couldn’t decide on what I wanted to listen to on the drive over, and the silence was making me even more anxious. I kept wondering how it would be to see Carlos and if it would be awkward. I wondered if he was going to show up because he had to record Date Night. I couldn’t deny that he’d gotten under my skin, and I felt shaken by that fact.

Then it hit me.

The best way to get him out of my head was to focus on the reason we couldn’t be together. So, before I pulled out of my parking space, I scrolled to the list of podcasts on my phone and saw that there were two new ones from Date Night. Clicking the most recent one, I prepared myself to be angry. Being angry was so much better than being caught up in my feelings. Being angry made me motivated; being caught up in my feelings made me reckless.

I fast forwarded it through the introduction and then I hit play.

Twenty minutes of bullshit while I was caught in traffic was just the thing I needed to get my mind off missing Carlos. While he was great in person, hearing him participating in the conversation with City Boy without completely shutting him down or cursing him out felt like Carlos was normalizing City Boy. As much as my heart seemed to call out for Carlos, my mind fully rejected the idea of dating Los Cabos.

“I think WildStyle1 should approach his coworker,” Country Boy stated, his deep voice bursting through the speakers. “I mean, it’s not like she’s his subordinate.”

“I think it’s a slippery slope. Stay away from coworkers—especially in smaller offices,” Carlos advised.

“Speaking of coworkers,” City Boy started. “Carlos worked with anti-Date Night spinster, A. Bishara.”

“City, chill,” Country Boy warned.

“And as you know, we had her in here the other day. Since that podcast hit the airwaves, our email account has been blowing up with questions. Is she blaming our show because she can’t get a date? Is she as ugly as she sounds? Does she even date men? Does the A stand for animal,” City Boy continued, causing Country Boy to laugh uncomfortably. “And since we’ve had some issues and dealings with A. Bishara, I wanted to spend some time answering your questions.”

“What are you doing?” Carlos asked with a sharp edge to his voice.

“It’s fine. Our first question comes from GregCarter and it reads: Do you know her name?” City Boy laughed to himself. “I actually do know her name. The three of us know her name. But we refer to her under the name she writes under. It’s a pen name she hides behind. So, just to clear that up for everyone listening, the name of the woman behind A. Bishara is known by us; however, we call her by her pen name to protect her privacy. She’ll out herself when she’s ready.”

“Okay, let’s answer Timothy’s email about what to do with the naked pictures of his ex-girlfriend now that they’re no longer together,” Country Boy interjected.

“We will get to the reasons why he should keep them in a few minutes. But first, I want to get through the questions. We have more questions and comments about A. Bishara than anything else, so that’s what we’re talking about now. The people have spoken, and we have to give the people what they want. So, let’s start with the question that kept coming up the most… what does she look like? Fellas, do you want to start or should I?”

“What she looks like has nothing to do with why she was here,” Carlos answered through clenched teeth.

“Los, answer the question. Don’t think I didn’t notice the way you would look at her,” City Boy snickered.

“She’s pretty. Let’s move on,” Country sighed.

“I must admit she’s hot. But as soon as she opens her mouth, she goes from a strong nine to a low two. The only reason I won’t give her a one is because of her ass. Los, calm your ass down. We’re telling the truth. Are you denying it? You’re saying you didn’t notice she was hot and that she has a nice ass?”

“What’s your point, City Boy?”

“My point is that the people want to know, so we give them the answers.” He let out a growl. “While Los Cabos calms down, let’s move on to the next question: does she have a point?”

“Does she?” Country Boy pondered.

“Yes.” He paused. “Her nipples,” City Boy joked, causing Country Boy to laugh.

“City, chill the fuck out,” Carlos barked.

“Come on, guys. We’re live,” Country Boy reminded them.

There was a moment of silence.

“Let’s take a call from the phone line—remember we take calls between eight thirty and nine o’clock every Friday when we can get to it. Okay, Caller, you’re on with Date Night.”

“Hey, City Boy! What’s up, everybody? I’m Matt, and my question is about that Bishara bitch. What’s wrong with her? She can’t take a joke?”

“Well simply put, we said something that offended her delicate sensibilities and now she spends her time writing columns about how we are what’s wrong with the modern man and dating today. Even Los agreed that her ideas that we were toxic, misguided, and communication deficient were bullshit.”

“On the other podcast you said that she had a stick up her ass. Maybe she has one up her ass but needs one in her pussy. She sounds like she needs someone to hold her down and give her some dick!” The caller laughed. “That’ll straighten her out!”

“If she had some dick, she wouldn’t be on ours so much,” City Boy added with a chuckle.

“I’ll find her and force her uptight ass to take the dick,” the caller continued. “That’ll calm her ass down.”

I felt sick to my stomach. I pulled into a parking spot at Rich Gallery and felt like I was going to vomit.

“What the fuck did you just say?” Carlos roared.

“Calm down, Los. He was just suggesting that she needs to get laid. That’s all,” City explained, his tone of voice slightly off.

“No, the fuck he wasn’t. And then you… You know what? I’m done.”

“Thanks for your call. Line two caller, you’re on the line with Date Night,” Country Boy said quickly as if trying to erase the first call.

“I have an issue with a woman who doesn’t know her place. Thanks for always keeping it real with bitches like A. Bishara. You three are heroes!” the caller cheered.

“Knows her place? Are you fucking kidding me? What the fuck is going on?” Carlos was livid. “Is this what you wanted, B? Is this what you wanted?”

“Do you see how many emails we got this week? How was I supposed to know what people were going to say?” He laughed uneasily. “You’re going to have to chill out. You act like they’re talking about your mom or your girl or something. You don’t even work with her anymore.”

“Maybe not, but I can’t work here anymore either,” Carlos responded.

“Los, wait man. At least wait until we’re off air,” Country Boy pleaded. “Let’s talk it out.”

“Talk about what? The fact that—I’m not doing this on air. I’m not doing this at all.” Carlos sounded done.

“What’s the problem?” City Boy asked. “We are answering a listener’s question about a woman who wrote an article that talked shit about us. It’s fair game. And for the record, you agreed that she was wrong.”

“And now I’m telling you that she’s right. This is fucked up. Have you listened to any of the bullshit you’ve said?” Carlos didn’t sound like he was near a microphone anymore.

“While Los Cabos cools off, let’s head back to the emails and see what else is waiting for us,” City Boy propositioned.

“Los!” Country Boy called out.

Carlos’s response couldn’t be heard.

“You said it yourself. This show is for entertainment purposes only. That was your statement for us.” City Boy let out a chuckle “That was our official word, remember?”

There was a moment of silence.

“Okay, that’s it for tonight. Tune in next week and we’ll answer more of your emails. You don’t want to miss it. I’m City Boy—”

“I’m Country Boy…”

“And this is Date Night with the Lost Boys,” the two of them said in unison.