I hurtled after my brother, heart lodged in my throat. I'd forgotten this sensation, how fast everything moves. Driving a car, you're removed from your surroundings, divorced from the speed. It's almost like you're sitting in your living room. But on a bike, you're right out in the open with the noise of the wind in your ears and the slap of pebbles and rocks against your leg.

Gabe was leading us up a path that kept climbing. I'd never been up here. Usually riders stayed down the the bowl of the man-made canyon, racing as fast as they could through the open terrain. But up here the trees were closing in thickly along the side of the single-track. The overhanging branches were making me nervous as hell, but Gabe was only leading us further into the woods.

"Where the fuck are we going?" I shouted over the whine of our bikes.

"There's a jump!" Gabe called back, darting a look over his shoulder. The trees were whizzing by in an impossibly fast blur.

Sick panic built in my throat, but I couldn't tell Gabe that. He'd never listened to my warnings. Not about his ex, Noelle. Not about breaking up the band. Not about anything.

I kicked the throttle faster, trying to catch up with him. If I couldn't stop him, at least I could keep an eye on him.

My bike seemed to have a mind of its own. I was barely controlling it, my tires only making infrequent contact with the dirt as we leaped over boulders and tree roots. "Gabe!" I called after a bad landing sent me spinning out. Some instinct I didn't know I still had kicked in, and I leaned into the skid, whipping around in a tight spiral before I righted myself. Shooting out like a stone from a slingshot, I hurtled to my brother who seemed to be slowing down. Was he realizing how idiotic this was?

No. When the trees cleared, I immediately saw what he wanted to do. "No," I said, as loud as I could.

Gabe only grinned. "No one's asking you to do it."

I glanced back out over the jump, heart thudding in my throat. "No way, that's fucking impossible, dude."

"For you maybe. I did it the other day."

I leaned out and looked again. The jump was over a carved out hollow, looking like a bite had been taken out of the earth. We were at the edge of a sharply cut ravine filled with scrubby brush and the carcass of an old refrigerator. "It's at least five stories down," I said.

"Yeah and the jump is eighty feet with a short ramp," Gabe said, readjusting his helmet. "I've done this a billion times."

"So why do you need to do it again?" I asked sharply.

"To watch your face," he said, kicking his bike into gear and lifted a gloved middle finger.

"You asshole!" I shouted over the whine of his bike as he circled back through the trees. I thought about pulling into his path, forcing him to crash into me rather than do this.

But it wasn't my fucking decision now was it? I'd tried to stop him from making mistakes so many times and all it had got me was his scorn. He always saw me as standing in the way of his good time.

I moved the bike back. Making sure I was out of his way for sure this time.

The whine of the bike grew higher-pitched as he kicked up the speed. I clenched my handlebars, white knuckled. I was feeling something very close to terror when I saw Gabe come shooting through the trees, a streak of white lighting, and then he was airborne.

His form was perfect. His aim was true. He landed on the far side of the ravine with whoop of triumph and spun around to raise his fist to me, shouting something I couldn't hear.

The thudding adrenaline in my ears had me yelling and swearing. Cursing him and cheering him, laughing and swearing like a sailor. Even from this far off, I could see the bliss in the lines of his body. It had always been this way. The only way he could calm his body was by putting it at risk.

He zoomed off into the trees and I heard the whine of his bike as he circled around the ravine and came back to this side. I was still shouting when he pulled up next to me. "You crazy fucking asshole!" I laughed. "I'm telling mom!"

He grinned. "No you aren't."

"No you're right, I'm not. But seriously, you're insane." I took a breath. "And also really good."

"Yeah, I know." But there was pride in his voice.

"I had no idea you had gotten to this level."

"Yeah well, that's because you haven't watched the show."

I felt a twinge of guilt. "Well that's because I didn't want to feel embarrassed for you," I bluffed. "Now that I know you're not some kind of sad wannabe, I might tune in."

Gabe smiled and adjusted his helmet. "Why do you think they call me the King of Pain?" he asked, but rode off before I could get a chance to answer. He streaked through the trees again and now that I wasn't so on edge, I could really see how he knew what he was doing. I should have fucking trusted him. I should have been watching his show all this time, there was no excuse.

I promised myself I would do just that, the second he went airborne.

He kicked out one leg, showboating. But the kick threw his bike off balance.

He hit the ground at an angle instead of head on. I heard a shout of pain and then the bike went over.

"Fuck," I breathed, yanking my helmet back on again.

It seemed like the trail around the jump took forever even though I was going as fast as I dared. The whole time I rode, the wind in my ears sounded like my brother sobbing in pain.

When I reached the other side, he was lying perilously close to the edge of the ravine, his left arm clutched in his right. I skidded to a stop. "Gabe!"

He let out a noise somewhere between a moan and a hiss. "Think I broke my fucking arm," he said through clenched teeth.

"Of course you fucking did," I snapped.

He jerked a little and glared up at me and I swallowed the rest of my I-told-you-sos. "Here," I said, going for his bike. But it was a twisted, sad thing, the handlebars wrenched permanently to the left. If he could ever ride it again, it would only be in circle. "You're going to have to get on mine," I realized.

He looked offended. "You want me to ride bitch?"

"You got another idea how we get out of here?" I demanded.

He stood up, still clutching his arm. "I can walk," he said, hiding a wince.

"We're miles from the entrance and you need a fucking doctor. Sit your ass down on this bike." When he hesitated, I resorted to begging. "Come on, listen to me Gabe. I'll go slow and easy, okay?"

He pressed his lips together. I felt a sinking sensation in my chest. "You really don't trust me anymore, do you?" I asked him.

He looked at me, caught. "I trust you," he grunted through the pain. "You always think you're doing the right thing. Whether or not it turns out right, you mean well at least."

I opened my mouth and then closed it. "We'll talk about that later," I decided, helping him over to my bike. "Wrap your arm here. Tuck the left one up as best you can." I got on and twisted the throttle.

Gabe grunted when I started us moving, but he managed to hold back anything else. Instead of retracing our steps, I took the shortcut down into the ravine, following a deer trail through the scrub until we came out into the main part of the quarry where the two kids were still racing around. They saw us coming and made a beeline for my bike. "G! What happened to your bike, man...?" they started to say before noticing the angle his arm was bending at. "Oh shit man, that looks fucking bad! Gross!"

Gabe always gave me shit about loving the spotlight, but he was the one eating up the attention right now. I made a mental note to rag on him about this later, once his arm was in a cast. "I assure you," Gabe said to the teenagers. "It feels worse." He managed a grin then turned to me, suddenly excited. "Did you see the jump before it though, Jonah? If I didn't fuck my arm up, I was going to try a 360 next."

And that was how I knew the last bit of ice had melted between us. Because he'd been showing off for me. Showing off for his big brother. Wanting me to be proud.

"You ever do one on the show?" I asked.

"Episode 6," he said immediately.

I nodded. "I'll be sure to watch it then." Then I smirked. "So you cut your face and now broke your arm, you've had a productive day."

He winced and then grinned.

"What should I tell mom we were up to?" I wondered. "Should I tell her you broke your arm cleaning the bathtub or something?"

He rolled his eyes. "Yeah, please."

"Can we go to the fucking hospital now, King of Pain?"

"Yeah," he sighed. "Take me to the hospital."

I revved the motor and then carefully set out to take care of my brother.