I'd finished my lesson plans right after lunch and immediately regretted making Jonah leave.

"Was I an idiot?" I asked Ginger. My heart was doing funny things and I felt like a part of my body was missing. Like I'd severed a limb and left it somewhere before wandering away. "I'm an idiot."

Ginger was splayed out in a patch of sun on the living room floor and didn't really care about me one way or another. I reached out and nudged her with my foot. "Hey I'm talking to you. What should I do?"

In response, she rolled over, showing me her belly for a moment before flopping over to the other side and then getting startled by the tape recorder that still sat in the middle of the floor.

"It's just a tape recorder, silly," I'd admonished her. But I was feeling suddenly jumpy myself. Just the thought of my night with Jonah, the way he'd looked at me like I was something he'd never experienced before, had me tingly all over.

"He should have this," I told my kitten and then second I said it, I knew it was exactly the right thing to do. "I should go over there, bring it to him, don't you think?"

If my kitten thought I was being transparent in my desperate need to see Jonah again, she at least had the good grace to hide it by attacking her own tail.

Now I stood on the wide, slightly stooped front porch of the King house with the box and the tape recorder in my arms, wondering if I should knock. I never knocked when I came over to see Claire. I hadn't knocked since I was eight years old.

But this was different. This was... I shifted from one foot to the other, feeling for all the world like I was eight years old again when I was saved from my agony of indecision by the sound of voices floating up from behind the house.

I set the box and tape recorder down. Tugging my scarf a little higher up my neck, I stepped back down to the frozen yard. Finn's loud, mocking laugh rang out, sending a few perching crows scattering into the sky. That made me pause. Though he was Claire's favorite, I'd always been a little wary of Finnegan King. His smile was the furthest thing from reassuring. It could be happy to see you, but it also could be mocking you for thinking that.

Then I heard Jonah's voice. Smooth and loud, with that easy command he had. Hearing it now with the context of what had happened last night, made me feel warm enough to loosen my scarf again. I hefted the box again, mindful of not rattling the precious tapes around too much, and walked around the side of the house.

The Kings' house was up on a small rise, the second story windows above the tree-line giving them a nice view of the little jutting hills that in summer reminded me of tennis balls shoved under a tree carpet. But the yard sloped away from the house in what had been pretty intense sledding hill when we were kids. The grade leveled back out again just before it hit the banks of the creek. Going flying off 'the cliff' as the King kids called it was always an added worry and thrill, and one of the reasons everyone came over here on snow days.

The King brothers - all four of them that I could see- were down by that cliff now. They had pulled up stumps and logs and old forgotten lawn furniture to sit around the fire pit down there, and each one of them was wearing a ridiculous hat.

Jonah was the first to look up and spot me and the expressions that crossed his face made me walk a little quicker. He hopped to his feet, making. "Baby!"

I stopped and looked at his brothers. "Did you...?"

He startled a little. "Oh right, Finn, I was about to ask you." He turned and slung his arm around me, pulling me close as his brothers all watched with varying expressions of surprise on their face. Or was it horror? I ducked away. "What do you think Claire would say if I started seeing Ruby?"

Finn closed his eyes and then opened them to look right at me. "Well I guess it's not really her decision, now is it?" and in his words I heard an echo of what I'd said to Jonah when he'd tried to order for me in the cafe. You make these decisions that affect other people that aren't yours to make.

My heart thudded in my ears. I should have called her first before I came over here. I should have let her know that when she'd sent her brother to help me in her stead, she'd sent me right into his arms. I'd been so wrapped up in how a dead man would feel about my actions that I hadn't even thought about what my alive and breathing best friend would think. "Shit," I murmured, trying to duck out of Jonah's embrace. He looked down at me and frowned. Then his eyes alighted on the box and his expression changed to one f pure adoration. "Is that for me?" he asked.

I nodded, fairly shoving it at his chest. Shame was coursing through my body. "For you," I said, stepping back. "I just wanted to stop by and make sure you had it.

Jonah grinned his confident grin and kissed me full on the lips in front of his watching brothers. "You're amazing," he said and I could feel the shape of his words against my mouth and my body wanted to respond, but inside of my head I was spiraling into shame.

I pressed my hands to his chest and gently pushed him away. "I just stopped by real quick, I have to run," I said.

He nodded, his attention on the box. "I'll see you later, Ruby."

"Yeah, bye Roo!" Finn called as I hurried away, and he wielded Claire's nickname for me as sharp and pointed as a weapon.