Kitt

“I’m okay,” I told Switch for about the hundredth time. My legs were shaky. My pulse hadn’t quite settled. But I was. I was okay. I was whole.

I sat on a bed in the guest bedroom of Sly Cullinan’s house. Switch had spirited me away from that house on Cactus Road. It was just the two of us now. His face was full of love and concern as he knelt in front of me, checking all my parts.

“Tell me the truth, baby. Did they hurt you?”

I shook my head. “They scared me. They pissed me off. But no, they didn’t hurt me. They were going to. If you hadn’t …” I couldn’t bring myself to say it. I still couldn’t believe it. Switch. My Switch. He’d showed up like some knight in shining armor and slew the dragons for me. But this was real. He was here.

“I’m so sorry,” he said. “I never should have left you alone. It’s my fault.”

“It’s not,” I said. “It’s those three assholes’ fault and whoever sent them. But how …”

Switch smiled. He took a seat on the bed beside me and pulled out his phone. “You’ve got your friend Paulie to thank for that.”

“I wasn’t sure that would work,” I said. “I took a chance if I dialed him, Paulie would piece it all together. He lives for this kind of shit. Always thinking there’s a conspiracy around every corner. Thank God for it today. He knows how to do scary shit, Switch. I know he can track my phone. He’s done it before.”

Switch kissed me. His lips were urgent, insistent. A desperate lust rose within me. They say that can happen after a near-death experience. As if my body needed to feel more alive. I kissed him back, running my hands through Switch’s hair. God, he was so big and solid and strong.

“You came for me,” I whispered as I pulled away.

“Did you think I wouldn’t?” he said, his voice choked.

“I don’t … I haven’t …” I couldn’t say it. Because all my life, no one ever came for me. I’d learned to fight for myself. It was hard to rely on anyone else. But here Switch was. He’d kept all the promises he’d made me.

“I love you,” he said. “That’s the thing.”

I touched his cheek. “Switch ... I …”

He took my hand. “Baby, what happened today, there’s going to be fallout. I’m sorry for that. I’m not for a second sorry about what Gunn and I had to do. It’s just, things might get worse before they get better. And I will not put you at risk anymore. I want you to go to Alameda like we planned. You’ll be safe there.”

“I’m safe with you,” I said. “Today proved that.”

He dropped his head. “You have to come clean with Sly. Today. Now.”

“I know,” I said. In all the commotion, I hadn’t yet had a chance to tell Switch what Paco found out. He was dead now. I’d see his face in my nightmares for a long time. But he’d already gotten word to the president of the Hellz Rebels M.C. They knew my secret.

“He’s waiting outside,” Switch said. “I’m going to take a lot of heat for today, but that’s not about you. Remember that. And I’m not leaving your side. You’re not alone, baby. You’ll never be alone again.”

I kissed him again, wishing for the feel of his body inside mine. I drew strength from him, even as that dark part of me feared it. Needing someone as much as I was growing to need Switch ... it was dangerous.

There was a soft knock at the door. Switch took my hand and stood. “Let’s go, baby,” he said. “I’ve got your back.”

I smiled at him. “And I’ve got yours.”

Gunn had just walked through the front door. He gave Switch a small nod. The rest of the Great Wolves M.C. membership had assembled in Sly Cullinan’s basement. They were an intimidating bunch. Leather clad, covered in ink, and hard looks as I walked by. Switch squeezed my hand, again giving me strength. It felt like a gauntlet as I went by them all. Gunn, Angel, Dex, Big John, Tiny, Teague, Charlie, Ford, Marcus, Curtis. And then there was Sly.

“Clean up’s done,” Gunn said. Brenna sat beside him. She gave me an encouraging smile. Dex’s wife, Ava, sat in the corner next to Sly’s wife, Scarlett.

“What about the prospect?” Sly asked. He leaned against the far wall. My heart was in my throat. Now that we were here, and he stood so close to me, I wasn’t sure I could get through this.

“In the wind,” Gunn said. “He’ll have the word to Manny and the rest of the Rebels within the hour.

“The fuck were you thinking?” Dex said to Switch. “You could have got yourself killed.”

“I did what any one of you would have done,” Switch said. “They were going to kill Kitt. They got to her because of me. Because they knew she worked for us at the garage. And because I was careless. Too many people saw me coming and going from her place at the Hansen. That’s on me. But Paco got what he had coming to him. I didn’t have time to run it by the table.”

Sly straightened. He took two steps toward Switch, his look all power and menace. “Everything you do while you wear that patch affects this club.” He flicked his eyes toward me. His eyes softened.

“Kitt,” Sly said. “Are you okay?”

My throat went dry. “Uh ... Yes. I’m okay. Thanks to Switch. And Gunn.”

“Sly,” Switch said. “There’s some stuff we need to discuss. And it needs to be in private.”

There was a rumble of anger through the room. “You heard what your prez said.” Dex spoke up. “There’s nothing private right now. We’re at war, Switch.”

“This is,” I said, finding my voice. “Please.”

Scarlett stepped forward. She intimidated me with her height and fiery gaze. “I want to hear what Kitt has to say,” she said. “Come on. We’ll go to my office upstairs.”

She tugged on her husband’s sleeve. My eyes went to her stomach. She was tall and thin, but her pregnancy was just starting to show. Her breasts were a little fuller too. My heart fluttered. Now that this was happening, I wasn’t sure I could get through it.

Switch’s hand on the center of my back steadied me. Scarlett and Sly went upstairs first. Switch and I followed.

Sly’s footsteps fell heavy on the wood floor as we all filed into Scarlett’s home office at the back of the house. She had a breathtaking view of the woods from a huge bay window and sitting area. She settled on the window seat. Sly sat on the edge of her desk. Switch guided me to one of Scarlett’s two office chairs. He took the other.

Switch held the battered Tyvek envelope in his hand. We grabbed everything from the house on Cactus Road while Gunn stayed behind to deal with the mess left back at the Cactus Road house.

I’d rehearsed this moment a thousand times. I barely recognized my own voice when I finally started to speak.

“I should have told you sooner,” I said. “When I first came to town. I should have told you why I came to town. But it’s been hard. I was afraid.”

“You came here to do something to Sly,” Scarlett said, her tone flat.

I looked at her. She had a protective hand over her stomach. Scarlett Cullinan was like some fierce, warrior woman. She’d do anything to keep her husband and her unborn child safe. She was a mother. I felt a pang in my heart, wondering what it would have been like to have someone like her looking out for me. Then I straightened my back. I didn’t need someone like her to look out for me anymore. I’d been doing it for myself my whole life. It helped that Switch was at my side now. But at that moment I knew I would fight for myself if it came to it. I would be all right no matter what happened in the next few moments.

“I did,” I said. “But not for the reasons you think. I didn’t come here to make trouble for any of you. I’m not some secret agent for the Hellz Rebels.”

“After today,” Sly said, “no one thinks that. I’m sorry for what happened. But Switch is right. This club will protect you. You’re safe now, Kitt.”

I felt a lump in my throat. I hadn’t realized how much I’d wanted to hear that, even as I knew it didn’t matter.

Switch handed me the envelope. I lay the contents out on Scarlett’s desk. She moved away from the window to join Sly. They each glanced at the papers but I knew what they saw. There was too much to process for them to understand what any of it meant.

“My mother’s name was Darcy Palmer,” I said. “She worked for the club a long time ago.”

Sly’s eyes flicked with recognition, but I knew he hadn’t yet put the pieces together for himself. “She was a girl we knew,” Sly said for Scarlett’s benefit. “A long time ago. She was …” His eyes went round.

I picked up the letter from Catholic Services. “You can read this. It’ll mean more to you in context, Sly.”

He took the letter from me. Scarlett read over his shoulder. I practically knew the words by heart. My mother was a dancer. My father was a violent criminal. I didn’t want to believe it was true. When he finished, Sly looked at me. His color started to fade.

“You think …”

“Darcy was my mother. The man in that letter ... my father ... it’s you. I’m your daughter.”

Sly let the letter float to the table. Scarlett caught it. She read it again. “This is crazy,” she said. “Sly, did you know this woman like that? Is it possible?”

“Until I was five,” I said, “I lived with my mother’s neighbor. I thought she was my grandma. I only recently learned that wasn’t true. But she told me Darcy was my mom. A long time ago, she mentioned the name Sly. There were other pieces of the puzzle I had to fit together. Some was DNA testing that traced back to a third cousin of yours in Redding. But my grandmother said my father’s name was Sly. She said my mother told her. I only remember my mom coming to visit every once in a while when I was very little. Then she died.”

Sly blanched. “Darcy’s dead?”

“Who the hell was Darcy?” Scarlett said.

“In the old days,” Sly said, “she hung around the club. We ... she …”

“You had an affair with her?” Scarlett asked.

Sly’s gaze went from Scarlett to me. She couldn’t be angry with him for a mistress he had years before they met, of course. But I knew the words in that letter painted a picture none of them wanted to see.

“Did you do it?” I said. “Darcy said she was afraid of you. That you hurt her.”

“No!” Sly shouted. “My God. No. Darcy was a sweet girl. I cared about her. Yes. We hooked up for a little while. But she was always so sad. I couldn’t make her happy. Then she ... God. She got angry when I broke things off. It was only a couple of weeks we’re talking about. We weren’t in love. I’m sorry we … That was when Blackie was president of the club. He threw her out of the Den one night. He found out she’d been hanging around the Rebels, trying to make me jealous. I didn’t know any of this until after the fact. I swear to God. And it was a hundred years ago.”

“Twenty-two years,” I answered.

“Twenty-two,” Sly said. “Yes. She stopped coming around. She was ... shit ... I’m sorry. If she was your mother, I shouldn’t.”

“Tell me,” I said, forcing the tears back. “Tell me the truth. She was what? A slut? A junkie?”

Sly let out a sigh. “I heard that later. I mean, the junkie part. She ... I heard a rumor she was hooking up with Manny Torre.”

“My God,” Scarlett said. “Is that why …” She came around the desk and put her hands on my shoulders. All traces of the warrior queen were gone. Her eyes filled with concern.

“I don’t know about any of that,” I said. “I swear.”

Sly came to me. “I’m not trying to speak ... um ... ill of the dead. I swear I didn’t know she passed. That makes me sad. It really does. Do you know when?”

“I was maybe four,” I said. “So it’s been seventeen years.”

Sly ran a hand over his face. “I had no idea. If she were in trouble. If she came to me. Even after ... I would have helped her. You need to know that. I never would have hurt that girl. I don’t know what that letter means. It’s not me. Whether I’m your father or not …”

Scarlett put a finger under my chin. I bristled at the intense look she gave me as she studied my face.

“I knew there was something,” she whispered. “Sly, she looks just like you.”

“I’ll take another DNA test if that’s what you want,” I said. “I’m not ashamed of the truth.”

“Sly,” Switch said. “I believe her. Scarlett’s right. And I’m sorry I didn’t come to you with this sooner. But this was Kitt’s news to tell.”

Sly rose. He went to Switch. “And you saved her.”

“They were going to kill her,” Switch said. “Or at least hurt her badly.”

“Sly,” I said. “Paco figured it out. All this paperwork? They took it from my hotel when they grabbed me. He called Manny while I was with them. I only heard his end of it, but Paco mentioned Darcy by name to Manny. It seemed familiar to them. I think ... I think maybe Darcy told Manny you had a daughter by her before she died. I don’t know why.”

“And they were going to hurt you?” he said, his tone dark.

“Sly,” Switch said. “Manny gave Paco the order to hurt Kitt after he found out she was your daughter.”

Scarlett staggered backward; her hand flew to her stomach again.

Sly buried his face in his hands. When he looked, his expression changed, going stone cold. “Kitt, I’m sorry. If I’m your father ... if I’d known ... I would have looked after you. I swear to God. I can’t change the past. But I can do something about it now.”

When he exchanged a look with Switch, my heart dropped. I knew Switch was right. Whatever happened with the club. It was going to get far worse before it got better.

“Come on,” Scarlett said, recovering. She offered me her hand. “They have a lot to talk about. But so do we.”

She smiled then leaned down and kissed my cheek.