SAM
This is why I’m still single.
I have no idea how to seduce anyone. I can’t even seem to flirt with my best friend. I’ve been trying to all evening. A whole 5 hours of lingering looks and casual brushes—and watching films together in my bed! But it seems everything I say or do falls flat.
Okay, maybe I’m being a little unreasonable. It’s not exactly going to be Luke’s 1st response to pick up on flirting from a guy. But I expected something, at least.
The thing is, I can’t stop thinking about our kiss last night and wondering what it would be like . . . with a man.
I want to tell him I want to experiment.
But I can’t seem to say the words. They’re trapped behind this lump in my throat. The lump partly made up of excitement and nerves, and partly—mostly—made up of freaking out. Shit. I wanted to try having sex with a guy!
For something to cross off my list, I quickly add to that last thought.
But still.
I look over at Luke, who’s puffing a pillow and stuffing it between his back and the headboard. I look at his lips and remember what he’d said. We can definitely try it together.
Not just we can try it.
We can definitely try it.
That has to mean he’s as curious as me, right?
The question is: how do I take him up on his offer?
* * *
I’m not bold enough to physically show him what I want until the sleepy haze of the next morning.
I don’t remember falling asleep—or watching the last movie. I must have drifted off. I shift slightly as I open my eyes, and I feel the warm weight of an arm draped over my waist. Part of my T-shirt has ridden up, and Luke’s arm is resting on my skin. I move closer into his embrace, feeling the slide of his skin against mine as I press my back and ass into Luke as subtly and sleepily as I can.
When nothing happens, I wiggle again.
Luke stirs, then I feel the sheets move as he lifts his head up.
Fear takes over, and I quickly shut my eyes.
“Are you . . . awake?” Luke says.
I squeeze my eyes shut tighter, and then I feel Luke’s hand on my shoulder, pressing me down until my back is against the mattress.
“You are awake,” he says, sounding surprised, and . . . awed.
I give myself away with a tight swallow. “No, I’m not,” I say. “I’m really, really asleep.”
His laugh rumbles through me, and he shoves one of my legs to the side. Before I know it, he’s crawled on top of me. When his weight rests on me, I open my eyes.
Now it’s my turn to be surprised. This is definitely crossing the bro lines in a major way.
He’s staring down at me with a soft, amused, happy—and, er, sort of hot—look on his face. “You were rubbing against me,” he says, and I feel my body burn with embarrassment, and I want to sink into the mattress. “Are you . . . are you curious?”
I bite my lip. “I just want to do something a little . . . taboo. If . . . I mean . . . we could experiment . . . you don’t have to . . .” The words sound pathetic now that I’m saying them, and my head is telling me that maybe this whole idea is a bad one.
Unfortunately, I’d just gotten harder when Luke pressed his weight against me, and my cock is whispering to me that it is still very keen to, you know, just try it out.
I count to 3 seconds before Luke responds.
He has a guarded expression on his face, one I’ve seen 1000 times before when he’s unsure of something. But then he closes his eyes, and there’s a trace of a dimple shadowing his cheek. “Tell me what you want.”
What I want. Vivid pictures of us flash through my mind and I feel a hot blush rise to my face. “I don’t know what I want.”
He nods and slowly pushes off me. I miss the warm weight of him once he’s gone.
“But I do want to try it,” I admit.
He throws an arm over his face and then makes a noise in between a laugh and a groan. “Shit. I can’t. Can’t.”
I twist on my side. “Okay. That’s cool. I know it’s a bit out there. You don’t have to be the one to try that taboo with me,” I say.
He stills. Then after a long moment, “Are you saying you might try it with another guy?”
I shrug, but I know he can’t see me, so I try to put it in words. “It’s not like I’m any good when it comes to seducing people, so I don’t know if I can even get another guy.”
“Believe me,” he says, pulling down his arm and staring at the ceiling, “you’ll be able to.”
“You barely picked up on my flirting and you know me, so I wager not, but anyway . . .”
He turns on his side and locks his gaze with mine. He opens his mouth to say something, and then closes it again. “I don’t want anyone else to be the one to . . . taboo with you.”
“You don’t?”
He blinks and looks over me at the windows. “Some random guy,” he says through his teeth, “might not treat you right. If . . . if you’re gonna fool around. You should do it with someone you trust.” He drops his gaze to my face. “We’ll take it slow. You can decide any time if you don’t want to go through with anything.”
“Well,” I say, blushing just talking about this. “I was thinking it might be better to just do it all and get it done with. I mean, it’s gonna hurt and all that, so I don’t want to draw it out too long.”
This time Luke shifts onto his back and throws both his arms over his face. It’s definitely a groan coming from him this time and he’s shaking his head. “No,” he finally says. “Absolutely not. If we . . . if I’m involved with this, then we’re doing it right. And that means slowly.”
I sit up on my elbows. “How slow are we talking here?” I want to get this done before I’m 30. Which is in 2 weeks now.
He lowers his arms and stares at me. “As slow as I say.” He leans toward me and his next words brush over the crook of my neck, and it goes right to my crotch. “And experimenting or not, we’ll make sure we enjoy it too.”
I blink hard for a couple of seconds. “That sounds . . .” I gulp. “Sounds good.”