SAM
Dinner was good. The two glasses of wine, better.
The kiss in the back of the taxi?
That’s the best.
Luke starts it with a slow swipe of his wet lips over mine. I swallow once, then let him deepen his kiss. He plunges his tongue into my mouth, carefully twisting and twirling, teasing and tasting mine. Thrills shoot through me, equal measures of nervousness and neediness. I can’t help but be aware of the taxi driver, though, and it makes me respond a little stiffly.
Luke holds my face, slowly moving one hand to thread it through my hair. With the tips of his fingers he brushes against the nape of my neck, and my skin prickles.
I forget the driver.
All I can see, smell, hear, taste, feel is this kiss, and the promise of something more liberating than I’ve felt yet.
Finally we arrive home. Luke tosses a few notes to the driver, grips my hand firmly and slides me out of the car on his side.
We’ve barely spoken since jumping into the taxi, and we don’t talk now either. I follow his lead into his place.
As he juggles the keys in one hand to open, I swallow harder and faster. What is our next move supposed to be?
I’m glad Luke seems to be taking charge of things. I like the comfort of not having to worry—he always has the ability to make me feel like that. Sometimes it’s as if he can read my mind; he knows what I want, and he makes sure I get it.
Still, this is new for the both of us, and I want to help us fumble around with it too.
I look around the darkened front yard as if it would give me a clue how I should do that, but there’s nothing.
I don’t know what I should do exactly, but I’m just buzzed enough not to overthink things, and when Luke sits on the couch, I sink on his lap.
The hiss he gives tells me he’s surprised at my legs coming around on either side of him, but the definite bulge in his pants says he’s up for it as much as I am.
“Does this feel good?” I ask, bracing my hands on his shoulders and shifting my crotch against his, up and down.
He lets out an expletive and then grabs the back of my neck, hauling me in for a deep kiss. I love how easy it is to get him excited about this, and I chuckle in between his tiramisu-flavored kisses.
“What could possibly be funny right now?”
“You,” I say. “I thought it’d be harder for us to get into the zone for this, but . . . maybe it’s been as long for you as it has for me?”
I know he’s been on dates and scored before. It’s easy for me to tell, because he takes his truck and doesn’t come back until the next day. “You know what I just realized?” I say, fumbling at the edge of his T-shirt and skimming my hands over his hard stomach. “You’ve never brought any of your dates home. Don’t you like getting lucky in your own place?”
He rests his head on the back of the couch and looks at me, and it strikes me as a shy look, which makes my stomach flip. “I like it plenty enough.”
I study my fingers rubbing the edge of his T-shirt. When my skin touches his stomach, it jerks slightly. “Then why—?”
“Just”—I look up. His eyes are tightly shut, crinkling the skin at the sides. His chest heaves as he takes a deep breath—“Just hadn’t met anyone I want to bring back here.”
I drop my grip on his T-shirt. I can see I’ve hit a sensitive spot. “You’ll find someone,” I say. Even as I hate the thought of having to give him up someday, I really do want him to be happy. “Just promise me I get to be best man.”
He lifts his head and the tone of his voice makes me shiver. “You’re always my best man, Sam.”
His hands gently grip my sides and skate down until they’re resting on my hips. He leans forward and tentatively touches his lips with mine. Pulling back a brief moment, he studies me and his face is unreadable. He nods as if answering a silent question.
Feather light he brings his mouth to mine again, catching the corner, and then his lips move across my light stubble to the back of my jaw, under my ear where I’m most sensitive.
I’ve never had anyone kiss me there before and it makes me gasp and shift closer against him. I feel tingly and light, as if I could float off him, and I can’t handle it—
Luke reads my mind again. He firmly smoothes his hands over my hips to my ass and pushes me into him, bracing me there, keeping me grounded. My straining cock grates over Luke’s, and even with the clothes between us, the touch is so intense I hum.
His lips continue to whisper down my neck, and I thread my hands in Luke’s hair, teasing it like he had when he put the dye in my hair.
Feeling has taken me over, and there’s not much room for thinking about why this feels as good and as easy as it does, or why it’s much more gentle and tender than I imagined it would be.
I’d thought we’d fail at this. I’d thought we’d laugh our way through all our “experiments,” but it doesn’t feel like there is a place for laughter here.
Luke nibbles his way to the neck of my T-shirt, leaving a wet trail that chills in the air. I shiver and draw myself as close as I can against him, slipping my hands up under his shirt to his chest.
When I find his nipple and tease it between my thumb and fingers, Luke moans, and his warm breath tunnels down my front. I like that this is as good for him as it is for me, and I do the same thing to his other nipple. This time he arches against me and murmurs something.
I want to keep playing and testing his responses, but the wine buzz is wearing off, and I’m becoming more . . . aware. I must have frozen, because Luke draws back to look me in the eye. “Are you okay? Do you want to stop?”
I shake my head. “I . . . not unless you do . . . it’s just . . .”
“What?”
I look down at our laps, and then hurriedly away from our hard-ons. I know I’m blushing like a freaking virgin, and I’m self-deprecating enough to laugh. “I have no idea what I’m doing. I’m . . . starting to get a little nervous about what comes next.”
Luke grasps my chin and turns my head to face him. He smiles warmly. “Nothing has to happen next. We can just make out like this. Two guys on the couch . . . that’s pretty wild. Maybe that’s enough?”
I nod, but it’s not what I want. And I wonder why it isn’t enough. With no answers forthcoming, I shake off the thought. “This isn’t freaking you out, right?”
“Actually, yeah, it is. A little bit.”
I shift to move off him and give him the required bro-space again, but his hands move to my shoulders and hold me there.
“If it’s freaking you out being with another guy,” I say, “how is it you seem so sure of yourself?”
He sighs, lifting one of his hands off my shoulder to grind the heel of his palm against his forehead. “Trust me, I’m not. Sure of myself, that is.”
“I don’t want you to feel like you have to do this with me, Luke. It’s my stupid list, not yours. You don’t have to take part.”
He runs his hands up and down my arms as he speaks. “If anyone, it should be me helping you with that list.”
I sigh and slowly peel myself off him and flop next to him on the couch. My cock is still aching for release, but now I’m completely lost as how to continue. Even though I really want to. I glance at Luke’s lap and at least it looks as if he’s having a similar problem.
“Well, you certainly can’t hate this.”
I don’t quite know how it happens, but one moment I’m sitting there, and the next, Luke is on top of me so that we’re horizontal, my back to the sofa and our chests and crotches pressing together.
My breath comes sharply as I look at him. He touches my nose with his as he studies me a moment. “You want more, Sam,” he says softly. “Yeah, I can see that. If you want me to take care of you, I will.”
All I can do is nod.
Which is plenty answer enough. Luke kisses me hard and raw and I’m left breathless and arching against him.
“I’ll make it memorable for you,” he says, and pushes my T-shirt up, the backs of his fingers sliding up over my stomach to my chest. He looks up and smiles at me, and then he and his dimples disappear from view as he lowers his mouth to my nipple with the piercing, and swirls his hot tongue around it.
I clutch his back and wish I could angle myself to bury my face and smother my groans in his soft hair as he sucks and lightly tugs at the metal.
I’m thinking maybe I’ll keep the nipple ring after all.
He nips at the skin around it, and sucks, and breathes. I rock my hips against his stomach. Then he trails kisses over my hairless chest to my other nipple, and I don’t know which feels better, the flicking of his tongue as it hardens, or the cool air swirling around the nipple he left behind.
“I—I like it.” I sound surprised, and I am.
Luke purrs deep in his chest. “Just like it?” he says against my skin as he peppers kisses slowly down my stomach.
“More like a 6 if we’re scoring it,” I say. More like a 10, actually, but I don’t think I can say that to him.
He bites lightly around my bellybutton before sinking his tongue in there. “Fine, fine, a 7,” I say, and throw my head back as I strain simultaneously to get my stomach closer to him and to pull away.
Luke chuckles, and it’s deep and masculine and it vibrates warmly over my treasure trail.
He hooks his thumbs into the waistband of my jeans and skims around the skin there, making me arch toward him. And somewhere I’m aware I should be embarrassed by this, but it’s not enough to make me stop. Whatever’s about to happen, I think—no, I damn well know—I want it.
Because I can then cross it off my list, I think to myself. It’s all about the list!
“You know I’m a competitive guy,” Luke says, running his tongue along the top edge of my boxers. “I expect at least a nine and a half by the end of this.”
A 9.5. God, what will that feel like? Can I even handle it?
Luke snaps the button of my jeans and unzips my fly. My cock springs free, hitting his nose, and before I can tense and worry, Luke breathes out deeply through the material against my shaft.
I shiver. No way I can handle an 8, let alone a 9.5.
His mouth closes around me and the material, and he hums. My cock throbs in response. He sucks through the material. The friction has me grabbing at the nearest cushion and clutching it tightly. I bring it to my face to cry into, and it smells of Luke, hearty like roasted chestnuts and a dash of sweat.
I breathe it in and hold my breath, letting it out in small increments in time to each of Luke’s pulls on my cock.
Soon it’s too warm with the cushion and I toss it off me.
“Raise your hips,” Luke says, leaning forward to skim my nipple with his tongue again. I arch on reflex, and he uses it to draw my pants and boxers over the curve of my ass and then shimmies them to my knees.
I’m mumbling something, and I don’t know what it is until Luke glances up at me and his dimples light up his face. “A nine, eh?”
More like a 19, but whatever. I don’t care about anything anymore, the least of all that it’s a man that’s giving me the best foreplay I’ve had in my life—
Luke’s wet lips touch the naked head of my cock. He licks once around the top, lingering a moment on the slit, and I shudder out a breath as I push forward. His hands massage my ass as he slowly sinks his mouth around me.
I buck forward, unable to restrain myself. “Sorry,” I manage, but Luke doesn’t seem to hear it. That or he doesn’t care. He sucks me, his cheeks hollowing, and he moves his mouth up and down so I’m dipping in and out of him—
I swear then. Loud and long. But fuck! I’m being reduced to a bundle of nerves and I don’t think I can handle it much longer. I feel like I’m spiraling out of control like water from a garden sprinkler. I want to be reined back in, collected—
Again Luke reads me, somehow knowing I need him holding me tighter, gripping my ass with just enough bite to his fingers that I feel more together.
“I’m gonna come,” I say, trying to withdraw from his lips, but Luke digs his fingernails into my skin, keeping me right where I am.
“Nine and a half! Nine and a half!” My head snaps back as I thrust into him one more time, my hands pulling Luke’s hair as I come in 3, 4, 5 thick ropes into his mouth. He drinks it, milking my orgasm in a way I’ve never felt before.
He pulls away before I get too sensitive. I’m pushing myself into a sitting position. Luke meets my gaze and my eyes fall to his red, swollen lips. “You okay?” I ask.
His body shakes with a chuckle, and then he leans in so his face is barely an inch from mine. “Yes, I’m very okay. Can I kiss you?”
There’s something about the request that niggles at me, but I nod. Our kiss is soft and careful, mostly because I’m afraid of bruising his lips any more than they might be already.
Out the corner of my eye, I see his hand fly to his hard cock. I pull out of the kiss, and stammer. “I guess, I have to . . . you know . . . return the favor.”
I shift off the couch, pulling up my pants as I do. I drop to my knees between Luke’s legs, but he stops me, resting a hand on my forehead before I can lean in to undo his pants.
“You don’t have to do it just because you think you should. I don’t care. I’m good.”
I sit back on my haunches. I can’t say I have any idea how to give anyone head, and his offer makes a part of me sigh with relief.
But there’s this other, bigger, part of me that wants to see my friend get his release too. I want him to know just how amazing it feels to have someone bathing your cock with their tongue and sucking it deep into their mouth. Even if it is coming from a guy.
I just want to give him some pleasure.
He’s always so generous with me and Jeremy, always keen to give, give, give to us, but when it comes to taking, he’s way too reserved. He doesn’t expect anything, and I wish he would sometimes. I wish he knew how much I want to be able to give back.
And I know it’s only fooling around, and he deserves so much more from me than I can ever possibly give him, but at least I can give him this.
“I want you to take it,” I say, lifting nervous hands to his zipper and pulling it down. “Please.”
I hook my thumbs into the waistband of his pants and gently tug.
“Are you—”
“Yes, I’m sure. Lift up.”
He arches enough for me to slide his pants and underwear down to his ankles.
I gulp as I stare at him. He’s about the same size as I am, but his cock is thicker and has a dark, prominent vein running down the length of it. I have no idea how his 8 inches will fit in my mouth.
I rest my trembling hands on his thighs as I try to figure out the math. Slowly I inch my way up closer and closer. This is definitely wild of me. The tight knot of nerves and excitement inside tightens.
“If you—”
Luke is giving me another chance to back out, and I silence him with a stern scowl. It’s my “dad” scowl, and it works wonders. He shuts up with a smile.
I wipe the smile off his face when, in a rush of confidence, I lean in and suck him into my mouth.
Luke hisses, but by the way his hips jerk, I know it’s the good kind of hiss. He tastes warm and slightly salty with pre-come, and the skin of his shaft is silky under my lips. It’s . . . different, but not bad. More eerie than anything.
I slide my mouth up and down him, tasting and swirling my tongue like Luke had. His hands come up to rest on the back of my head, but he drops them again and squeezes them into fists at his sides.
Twice he hits my gag reflex and I have to pull away, but soon I find a rhythm that works, and I use my hand at his base to add to the feeling.
He says my name and hearing it fall so wantonly off his lips makes me want to give him more somehow. With my free hand, I fish under his T-shirt for his nipple and roll it between my fingers, sucking as I do.
He moans, and stiffens. “Sam, I—”
I know what he’s about to say, and I think of drawing off him, but I’m also curious to know what a man tastes like. I give him one last suck, and he shudders and comes thick into my mouth. I swallow on reflex, and like he did with me, I stay with him until he’s done before pulling off.
“Bitter,” I say. And not as bad as I maybe had expected. “Did it feel good for you?”
His eyes are hazy from lust and I sense something softer in there too. Fondness maybe. Instead of answering, he leans over and kisses me. It’s soft and sweet, and now I get what niggled at me before. I’ve said I didn’t want this. Said we shouldn’t do these kisses.
But . . .
I think I might have been lying, because I do want them. The kisses just go with everything. They make it more intense somehow, and I like it. A lot.
Too much, maybe.
I like how they make my stomach flutter and my heart race. I like how they make me feel like I am able to give Luke the same physical pleasure he’s given me. But more than that, I like how comforted it makes me feel. Like I’ve done something right.
Luke pulls back and rests his forehead against mine. “It felt amazing, Sam.”
“Hmm, yeah, after helping Jeremy with that math assignment, I never thought I’d like the word sin again.” I laugh. “But it seems to have worked really, deliciously hard to redeem itself tonight.”
Luke pulls back. “You don’t really think two guys together is a sin, do you?”
I curse myself for my poor choice of words. How could I say such thoughtless things? How would Jeremy ever trust me enough to come out if he thinks I think like this? “I don’t think it’s wrong,” I say hurriedly to Luke. “But it is . . . taboo, you know? No one really talks about it—it’s sort of an off-limits subject. You can never know what someone’s reaction is going to be, and that makes it hard for people to talk about and for guys to come out, you know?”
Luke nods and rests his forehead back against mine. Our breaths mingle a few moments longer, and then I have to move before my leg starts cramping. I straighten and stretch, and head for the bathroom, which somehow ends up a race between us to see who gets there first.
I win, but I suspect Luke let me win at the last moment.