I FELT LIKE I was getting ready for prom.
Not only was I wearing a dress and all dolled up, but Sadie kept tearing up like an overemotional mother. She also gave me the sex talk—and by sex talk, I mean she listed off all of the creative positions she thought I should test out with Hayes. She’d then proceeded to try to tuck several condoms into my bra. I’d thrown them away when she wasn’t looking.
Sadie ran the brush through my hair one last time.
She’d debated about styling it in a sleek bun or ponytail, but ended up deciding to leave it down.
Her reasoning?
“That way when he fucks you good he can fist your hair in his hands.”
I told her if she had sex on her brain that bad she needed to go find Ezra.
She’d smirked and told me she’d ride him hard later.
The girl was insane.
But I loved her.
She was so much more than my boss. She was a genuine friend, and while she could be a bit crazy, she was one of the nicest people I knew.
There was a knock on the bedroom door and Sadie yelled, “Come in!”
Ezra poked his head inside, his hand slapped over his eyes. “Is it safe?”
“Yes, it’s safe you dumb ass. That’s why I said you could come in.”
Ezra chuckled, lowering his hand. “We’ve been waiting forever. I think Hayes is about one minute from storming in here and throwing you over his shoulder.” He spoke to me.
“Perfection takes time.” Sadie told him, her hands on her hips.
Ignoring his girlfriend, Ezra asked me, “Are you ready?”
Sadie huffed and crossed her arms over her chest. “She’s ready when I say she’s ready.”
Ezra let out a full belly laugh. “Man, power sure does go to your head.” He stepped into the room and bent down to kiss her quickly. She turned her head so that his kiss landed on her cheek and he only laughed harder. “God, I love you.” Sobering, he said, “So, boss, is she ready?”
Sadie looked me up and down once more and nodded. “My work here is done.”
“Are you ready?” Ezra asked me, pushing his unruly curly black hair from his eyes. “Or is this one getting overzealous?” He tossed a thumb in Sadie’s direction.
She retaliated against his comment by poking his side.
“Yeah, I’m good.”
I followed them out of the bedroom and into the living room of the suite.
I caught sight of Mia sitting on Maddox’s lap, watching Beauty and the Beast on TV. I smiled at the sight, pleased that Mia was being so well-behaved. It gave me hope that she’d be okay tonight. I was still unsure about being without her for the night. I’d never spent the night without her, so I’d have to see how things went.
Suddenly, the air in the room grew heavy and heated and I knew that Hayes had emerged from wherever he’d been.
I looked up and my breath caught in my throat.
You always heard guys say that their girl took their breath away, but Hayes had certainly stolen mine.
He towered above everyone in the room. His presence was commanding without him even trying, but his goofy smile softened the effect.
He was dressed nicer than I’d ever seen him—outside of Maddox and Emma’s wedding—with a pair of slim fitted black pants hanging perfectly on his narrow hips. A white dress shirt was tucked into the pants with the sleeves rolled up to the elbows, leaving the bottom of the tattoo on his arm visible. A buttoned gray vest completed the ensemble.
My eyes lifted higher, to his clean-shaven face, the solid black gauges in his ears, and his blond hair styled to the side. He smiled crookedly, taking me in as unabashedly as I was him.
“That dress…” He made a noise in the back of his throat. “That dress is giving me all kinds of fantasies.”
I laughed, refusing to shy away from his words like I normally would. “Thank Sadie.”
“Thank you.” He nodded at Sadie, but kept his eyes on me.
Sadie snorted. “Oh, don’t thank me yet. You haven’t even gotten to the best part.”
Hayes gulped, his hands trembling at his sides. “It gets better?”
“You have no idea,” she told him.
He scrubbed a hand over his face. “We better go before I decide against dinner.” He closed the distance between us and took my hand, lowering his head to whisper in my ear. “You’re stunning. The most gorgeous creature I’ve ever laid my eyes on.”
“You’re not too bad yourself,” I jested.
“Go on, get out of here. Have some fun! Use those condoms!” Sadie pointed a finger at me, grinning from ear to ear.
“Sadie!” I hissed, nodding towards Mia.
“Oh! Oops!” She slapped a hand over her mouth. “My bad.”
Mathias laughed loudly and strode over, clapping a hand on Hayes’ shoulder. “He cleans up well, doesn’t he?” He smirked at me. “Look at Joshie all grown up.” He pinched Hayes’ cheek.
“Dude, stop.” Hayes pushed him away.
“Just saying you should thank me is all.” Mathias held up his hands innocently. “I mean, that’s my shirt and vest.”
Hayes grumbled under his breath. “You also tried to make me wear one of your dorky nerdigans at first. That’s not happening. Ever.”
Mathias chuckled, backing away and pulling Remy into his arms. “Hey, those nerdigans, as you like to call them, get me laid, so who’s the real winner here?” Mathias chuckled, kissing Remy’s neck.
Hayes rolled his eyes and his hand settled at my waist. “And that’s why you should never ask Mathias for help.”
“You asked him for help?” My brows rose high on my forehead.
Hayes shrugged. “I don’t normally dress up, but that one,” he pointed at Mathias, “always acts like he’s on a fucking runway or something.”
“Language!” I warned him.
“Oh, right. My bad.” He frowned. “I’ve really been trying to be better about that.” He gave me a puppy-dog face.
“You have,” I agreed, “and I thank you for it.”
Disentangling myself from his arms I went over to Mia and she glanced away from the movie.
“Mommy’s going to leave for a little while. Are you okay?” I asked, smoothing her hair away from her eyes.
“Of course,” she said, like I was so silly to be worried about her.
“Love you baby girl.” I hugged and kissed her, never wanting to let go. I wished she could stay this little forever. I didn’t know what I’d do with myself when she grew up and went to school, started dating, and left me.
I stepped away and was surprised when Hayes went over to her.
He dropped to his knees in front of her so that he was at her eyelevel where she sat on Maddox’s lap.
“I’m taking your mommy to dinner. Is that okay with you?”
She nodded and leaned in, whispering something in his ear.
His whole body stiffened and I swore his eyes pooled with tears but they disappeared too fast for me to be sure.
“Maybe one day Ms. Mia.” He told her, his voice cracking.
He kissed her cheek and she wrapped her arms around his neck.
I smiled at the sight of them together. It made me so happy that Mia liked Hayes and that he liked her too.
He met me by the door, grinning from ear to ear.
“Ready?” He asked.
I nodded, trying to ignore the stares of our friends as they watched us leave.
Hayes guided me down the hall and to the elevator. We were both silent. I searched for something to say and kept coming up empty, but it was especially hard to think with my pulse pounding like a drum in my ear.
In the lobby we were met by a bodyguard I didn’t recognize.
Hayes sent the guard a speculative look. “I thought you guys were waiting in the car?”
“Greg is, but he sent me in here since the media has descended onto the hotel like fucking vultures. It’s madness out there.”
Hayes sighed, seeming irritated by this new development. “Do you think we can lose them before we get to the restaurant?”
The guard frowned, crossing his massive arms over his chest. “Not likely. This is Manhattan after all.”
“Right.” Hayes muttered, pinching the bridge of his nose.
He wrapped his arm around me, pulling me more fully against his side.
“Just stay calm,” he told me, “there will be a lot of yelling and camera’s flashing.”
“I’m okay.” I assured him.
But when we stepped out I was definitely not okay.
The experiences I’d encountered today in no way compared to this. It was mad.
Hayes was right, there was a lot of yelling.
“Hayes, over here! Hayes who’s the woman?! When is the new album coming out? Hayes! Hayes! Hayes!”
“Don’t let go of me.” I pleaded with him, tightening my grip around the vest he wore.
Greg had been waiting in the driver’s seat of the car but he came barreling out, pushing back the paparazzi since the other guard wasn’t having much luck.
Somehow we managed to make it into the car but even once the door closed behind us the flashes and questions were endless.
“Are you okay?” Hayes asked, looking me over.
“Yeah. Just frazzled.” I reached up to smooth my hair down.
Suddenly his hand shot out to grab my arm. He stared at the skin near my elbow, his brows narrowed in concentration.
“What is it?” I asked.
He reached up, turning on the light in the car as Greg pulled us away from the hotel.
“When did this happen?”
I looked down at my arm where his eyes were pinned.
“Uh…” I started. “I think one of them hit me with their camera. It all happened so fast,” I rambled.
He glared at the red mark on my arm for another moment before letting go.
He sat back against the leather seat, a muscle in his jaw ticking. “Fucking paparazzi,” he muttered, more to himself than me. He glared out the window for a moment and I watched as he closed his eyes, taking several deep breaths to calm down. Turning to me with sorrow filled eyes, he asked, “Does it hurt?”
“Only a little.”
Now that my adrenaline was fading the spot on my elbow throbbed in time with my heartbeat. It wasn’t that bad though. Sure, it would bruise, but I’d suffered worse.
Hayes frowned at my words.
“It’s not a big deal to me,” I assured him.
Fire ignited in his eyes. “It is to me! They hurt you, Arden! What if they’d hurt Mia? It’s not okay!” He bellowed and I was shocked by his raised tone.
I’d never heard Hayes mad before and I couldn’t help but recoil into my seat, drawing my legs up as if to protect myself from him. It was a reaction I couldn’t control. Flashbacks of Todd, of his hate-filled words and heavy fists filled my mind.
Horror settled onto Hayes’ face and his mouth fell open in shock. “Arden,” he said my name softly, just a faint whisper. “Fuck,” he pulled at his hair. “Do you think I’m going to hurt you?”
I didn’t respond.
I couldn’t.
It was like my limbs were locked and my voice was gone.
“Arden,” he pleaded, his eyes filled with regret, “I would never hurt you.”
He isn’t Todd.
He isn’t Todd.
He isn’t Todd.
I chanted over and over again in my head, but it did nothing to erase my fear.
“Arden, I would never hurt you.” Hayes pleaded with me, trying to reach me through the dark place I had retreated to in my head. “What did he do to you?”
It was only then that I realized I was sobbing. I was sure the makeup that had been expertly applied to my face was now running in rivers down my chin.
I knew Hayes said something to Greg then, but I couldn’t hear him over the memories assaulting my mind.
Todd in my face.
His spit on my shirt.
His fist slamming into my stomach. My face. Everywhere.
Suddenly the car jerked to a stop and I fell from the seat, having forgotten to buckle my seatbelt.
“Stay put.” Greg turned around to glare at Hayes. “Let us push them back.”
Hayes nodded, looking down at me with shock and pity in his eyes.
I didn’t want him, or anyone, to pity me, but I knew I must be a pretty sad sight lying on the floor of the car.
“Will you let me touch you?” He asked, reaching his hand out to me.
He was giving me the power.
I could find the strength to reach out and take his hand or I could refuse and essentially let Todd win.
That’s all I’d been doing for years.
Letting him win.
I’d avoided men like wildfire, terrified that they’d treat me the same way he did.
Until Hayes.
For some reason, just like Mia, I’d trusted him from the moment I’d met him, and right now I needed to let go of my fears. They were crippling me. I didn’t want to lose out on things in life because I was scared.
Slowly I raised my hand, my fingers trembling, and sat my hand onto his open palm.
He swallowed thickly and let out a sigh of relief as his hand closed around mine.
“That’s my girl,” he murmured, helping me up and out of the car.
As soon as we were out of the vehicle the flashes of a hundred cameras blinded me and Hayes had to carry me inside the building.
When the little black dots from the flashes stopped swimming in front of my eyes I was surprised to see that we were at the building where his family’s penthouse was located.
“W-why are we here?” I stuttered as he guided me to the elevator.
“I didn’t think you were in much shape to go to a restaurant, Little Bird.”
In the elevator I leaned against the wall and he let me go, seeming to know that I needed the distance.
“Are you mad at me?” I asked and instantly regretted my words at his look of horror.
“Mad at you? Are you fucking crazy? Mad is the last thing I am.” He shook his head. “I’m…I don’t know what I am. Hurt, I guess. Hurt that you’d think I’d harm you, but more so that someone treated you so badly that that’s immediately where your thoughts went.” He scrubbed his hands over his face. “Fuck, Arden. The last thing I’d ever do is raise a hand against you.”
The elevator doors slid open and he waved his hand for me to exit first.
My feet only carried me as far as the couch before I collapsed. I was completely exhausted from the last fifteen or so minutes. It felt like so much longer. I guessed maybe it was. Todd’s torment hadn’t ended when he left me. I carried the physical and mental scars of what he did to me every single day of my life.
Hayes crouched down beside me, staring at me for a moment. I’d never seen someone look so tormented and worried before. I hated that I’d freaked out, therefore putting that look in his eyes, but my reaction had been uncontrollable.
He reached out tentatively and stroked his fingers against my forehead and then into my hair.
“Tell me, Arden.” He pleaded with me. “Tell me everything. I need to know.”
My throat closed up and I shook my head. “I can’t.” Tears stung my eyes.
He pulled his lip between his teeth, seeming torn between begging me for answers and letting it go.
“Please, baby, you have to. I need to understand so that I never, never,” he reiterated, “make you feel that way again.”
I squished my eyes closed, a single tear escaping and sliding down my cheek.
I felt his finger touch my skin hesitantly and the tear disappeared.
“I never want you to cry because of me. Not unless it’s happy tears.”
I sat up then and wrapped my arms around his shoulder, burying my head into the crook of his neck. My tears dampened his shirt but he never pulled away. Instead he held me tighter. It was like he was trying to remind me silently that he wasn’t going to let me go.
My whole body shook and his hold on me tightened. Not in a constricting way, but like he was trying to hold me together.
“Why do you want to know this?” My voice was muffled against his neck.
He didn’t say anything and I thought maybe he hadn’t heard me, but then he spoke and each word was said carefully. “Because, I want to know everything about you. No one’s life is all rainbows and sunshine. There’s going to be good and bad. And fuck it, Arden, I want all your good moments and the bad ones too. I want to help you bear the burden of your past so that you don’t have to do it alone.”
This man.
This crazy, perfect, silly man was too good to me.
“Why are you so perfect?” I asked him.
He disentangled himself from my arms and took my face between his large hands. “I’m not perfect. Nobody is perfect. Get that notion out of your head now. I’m going to mess up and make mistakes, like back in the car,” his fingers flexed and the muscle in his jaw jumped, “but I will always do my best to fix them.”
I inhaled a shaky breath and confessed, “I don’t want you to think differently of me. That I’m weak.”
“Fuck,” he growled, “you’re the strongest woman I know. I could never think you were weak.”
He sat down on the couch beside me and pulled me onto his lap so that I was straddling him.
Holding my chin captive, he said, “Bravery comes from the most dire of situations and I think we both know you’ve proven how brave you are.”
My tears only fell harder at his beautiful words.
I knew I needed to tell him about Todd, about how horrible he’d been, but opening myself up like that was going to be difficult. Maybe even the hardest thing I’d ever done. I’d kept so many of the awful things he’d done to me a secret. Heck, even my parent’s didn’t know all the details. No one did. I’d buried everything deep down inside me, suppressing it so that I could make it through each and every day without suffocating.
“Todd had always been quick to anger…you know, the kind of person who would be grinning from ear to ear one second and spitting mad the next. But he never, not once had laid a hand against me. It was usually other guys that pissed him off. They’d say something stupid or look at me for too long and it would set him off.”
I inhaled a shaky breath, my hands quaking against his shoulders.
“When he asked me to marry him I was so, naively, thrilled.” I laughed self-deprecatingly. “Things were good…for a while. Then they started changing. Slowly at first. He’d yell at me, a lot. But the yelling I could handle. The hateful things he’d call me…I could take it. And then one day he came home from work early and his dinner wasn’t ready—I mean, it’s not like the bastard called to let me know he’d be early or anything.” I chuckled, staring off into the distance—into a past that still seemed so much a part of my present and future. “That was the first time he hit me.” I whispered the words, hating to give voice to them. But Hayes was right. He needed to know. He deserved to know what he was dealing with. I was damaged goods after all.
I grasped the collar of his pressed white shirt between my fingers, rubbing my fingers around and around on the fabric, like I could harvest strength from it to carry on with what I needed to say.
“That time it was just a slap on my cheek. It hurt, but the mark faded quickly. It was like it gave him a rush, though, some sick twisted sense of satisfaction for having physical power over me and from there it just escalated.” I pressed my lips together tightly, trying to hold in the sob that was so desperate to break free.
“Let it out, Arden.” He caressed my cheek with the most gentle of touches. “If you need to cry, or scream, throw something, whatever it is, do it.”
“Just hold me.”
He smoothed his fingers through my hair. “I think I can do that.”
I sobbed against his chest. The kind of sobs that shook your whole body and left you feeling exhausted, but it was past time that I let these emotions out.
It was hard to let my guard down and allow Hayes to see me like this, but I knew it was necessary for the both of us.
Minutes, or maybe it was hours, later I dried my tears on the back of my hands and opened my mouth to finish my tragic tale.
“The abuse lasted for years,” I confessed. “Someone on the outside might view me as weak for not having the guts to leave, but I was terrified. Completely scared out of my mind. The threats…I believed he’d make good on them if I left him. He was so violent there was no reason to doubt him. And then…” I squished my eyes closed. “And then I got pregnant. I kept it a secret for as long as I could. He didn’t want children and I was afraid of what he might do.” I bit down on my lip hard enough to taste blood. “But eventually I couldn’t hide it anymore and he found out. One day I came home from work and the house was eerily quiet. There was a stillness in it and it seemed…empty. When I searched the house I found that all of his belongings were gone. He just…left. No explanation. He was gone and I…I was so relieved. I think a part of me thought he might kill me one day and I feared what he’d do to our baby more than that.”
Shrugging, I ran my fingers down his solid muscular chest, playing with the buttons on his shirt and vest to keep my hands busy.
“The divorce papers came a few weeks later and that was that. I never heard from him again.”
“Fuck Arden.” His hands roamed up and down my sides. “I’m so incredibly sorry that you had to go through that.”
“I’m not,” I sighed. “Without Todd I wouldn’t have Mia and I wouldn’t trade her for the world. She’s worth everything I went through and more.”
He took my face between his hands, staring straight through me. “You are the most remarkable woman I’ve ever met and I’m so damn lucky to be with you.”
“Are you sure about that?” I asked, stroking my fingers along his jaw. “I’m kind of a mess.”
He chuckled and his hands settled at my waist. “Lucky for you I like cleaning.”
“Is that another cheesy popsicle joke?” I cracked a smile, and while small it was genuine.
“Nah, baby, that’s all me. And if you’re going to remain my girlfriend you better get used to all the ridiculous things I say, because I’m not changing.” He grinned crookedly.
“That’s okay,” I leaned forward and lay my head against his chest, “I like you just the way you are.”
“Back at ya.” His lips pressed tenderly against my forehead.
With my skin still tingling from his kiss, and his strong arms wrapped around me, I wondered idly if he was falling for me the same way I was him.
Teasing my hand against the part of his chest that was exposed above the top button of his shirt, I asked, “I’m sorry for ruining tonight. I know you probably went through a lot of trouble and—”
He cut off my next words by pressing his hand against my mouth.
“You didn’t ruin tonight, Little Bird. If anything you’ve made it one of my best because you trusted me enough to let me into your darkest places.” He grazed his fingers down my cheek. “I regret that my actions led us to this moment, but I don’t regret knowing.”
Quiet settled around us and I knew he wouldn’t be the one to break it. Something told me that from this moment on he was putting the power in my hands. I’d never had that with Todd.
“Kiss me.”
His body stiffened. “Arden—”
“Kiss me,” I said again, this time the words were stronger and I stared into his eyes, letting him know I was serious. There was no fear.
Only desire.
He cupped my chin, his eyes remaining on mine as he brought our lips closer and closer.
I gasped at the feel of his lips so near to mine.
His eyes held a question though. He was waiting, once more, for permission.
“Kiss me,” I said again.
Without hesitation he did.
His lips glided over mine.
Teasing.
Biting.
Searching.
My body melded into his and I couldn’t get close enough. I wanted to sink inside him and let everything that was so beautifully him wash over me and mend the parts of me that Todd had left broken.
My hips rocked against his and he let out a husky moan that only spurned me on more.
Nibbling my bottom lip, he breathed my name and I never knew so much meaning could be reflected in so few syllables.
My fingers delved into his hair, tugging on the perfectly styled strands and turning them into a wild and chaotic mess.
I wanted to unravel him in the same way he’d done me from the moment I met him.
He was breaking apart everything I’d thought I knew about life and love and completely redefining the definition—showing me the beauty that had been destroyed by Todd.
“I want to touch you so bad.” He confessed, tilting my head back so he could rain kisses down my neck.
“Then touch me.”
He hesitated, ghosting his fingers down my back before settling his hands at my waist.
“You’re testing my limits.” He said through clenched teeth.
“Hey,” I leaned my forehead against his, holding his chin between my fingers, “I said it was okay. I…I know I freaked out earlier, but I’m good now. In fact, I haven’t felt this good in a long time. Telling you has lifted a weight off my chest and now all I want is for you to—”
Instead of silencing me with his hand this time it was his delectable lips.
I let out a small sound of surprise when he stood with me in his arms.
I wrapped my legs around his waist as he carried me through the space and back into the bedroom.
He laid me down on the bed and his lips finally parted from mine.
“If this gets to be too much, just tell me and I’ll stop.”
I grabbed the vest he wore and yanked him towards me. “You act like we’ve never done this before. Trust me, I won’t be stopping you.”
His hand settled over mine, but he didn’t pry my hand off his vest. He let out a low, dangerous chuckle. “If you think that time will in any way compare to this one you’re mistaken.”
Something about the naughty glint in his eyes made my whole body tighten in anticipation. My nipples pebbled and he seemed to sense this as his eyes dipped to the front of my dress.
He wet his lips and growled, “I’m thoroughly going to enjoy devouring you.”
I shivered at his words.
His hands shook as they roamed down my legs to my feet where he removed the heels.
I knew, despite his words, that he was holding back—that he was afraid I wasn’t ready for this.
“Don’t hold back,” I pleaded with him, reaching up to cup his jaw. “I want this just as much as you. Please, give me everything. Give me you.”
He lowered his head and whispered against my lips, “You already have me.”
I closed my eyes, relishing in those words.
His hands slid under my dress and stilled when he felt the cool metal of the garter belt connecting to the stockings.
“Is that what I think it is?” His eyes were wide with wonder.
“I guess you’ll have to wait and see.”
“Wait?” He scoffed and pulled the dress up and off my body in one hard jerk. It fell to the floor somewhere in the room and he grinned down at me. “I don’t wait, Little Bird.” His Adam’s apple bobbed as he stared down at me. “Holy Fuck, you are the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.” His tongue slid out, wetting his lips as he stared at my chest, completely exposed with the see-through material.
Goosebumps pimpled my skin at his words and intense stare.
“You make me feel beautiful,” I confessed. “The way you look at me…I love it.”
He kissed his way down my neck, over my chest, and to the small bit of my stomach exposed above the corset.
“God, look at you,” he growled lowly, “you’re like a fucking dessert.”
He stood up, staring down at me. “As much as I love this, it’s gotta go. I need you naked. Now.” His voice was urgent.
I stretched my arms above my head and the movement made my breasts push out even further. He groaned, palming himself through his pants.
“I want to take my time with you. I want to make this good. But fuck, I don’t know if I can.”
“Stop thinking,” I told him, stretching my neck to reach his lips.
He kissed me deeply, so passionately that I thought my body would ignite from the inside out.
Idly, I acknowledged the fact that I’d never felt this way before with another man. Hayes made me feel happy, and crazy, and like I could do anything, but he also made me feel comfortable and despite my earlier reaction I knew he’d never hurt me in that way.
But my heart?
Piece by piece it was becoming his, and if things ended I knew it would be destroyed.
Falling for him was a risk, but it was one I was willing to take.
His touch sent scorching flames up my spine as his hands slowly curved around my torso. His fingers inched under the edge of my bra but he didn’t remove it.
His mouth closed over one of my breasts, sucking on the skin through the lacey fabric and the sensation of the rough material and his soft tongue was jarring.
I hooked a leg around his waist, pulling him against me and I felt his hardness settle between my legs.
“Oh God.” I moaned, shaking all-over. I wondered if maybe he could make me come this way. The way my body pulsed and hummed, I was thinking yes. My hands clutched at his hair and he let out a groan when I tugged on it. Moving my hands to his shoulders, I begged, “Please. Oh, please. Touch me.”
“Tell me want you want.” He lifted above me, his eyes twin blue pools of desire. “Tell me and it’s yours.”
My throat bobbed. I didn’t know if I could say it. The only man I’d ever been with before Hayes was Todd and things between us had hardly been adventurous or passion-filled so I felt a bit shy when it came to sex.
Hayes grasped my chin, his thumb brushing against my bottom lip. His eyes were sincere when he spoke. “Don’t be nervous with me. Say what you want. I’m not judging you. I’m here to please you.”
He kissed me then, slow and drawn out, and he didn’t pull back until my toes tingled and I was completely relaxed.
He knew exactly what to do to calm me down.
“Ready to tell me?” He asked, his breath warm against my neck as he pulled my earlobe between his teeth.
“I-I want you t-to…”
“To what?”
“Touchmypussy.” I said the words really fast, like by somehow slurring them together I wouldn’t actually be saying them.
He let out a warm chuckle and pressed a kiss to my neck.
“So,” he began, “you want me to touch your pussy…with my fingers or with my tongue? Be more specific to get what you want, Little Bird.”
“B-both.” I stuttered, hoping I could gain control of myself in the next ten seconds.
“Say it like you mean it, Arden.” His eyes were bright in the darkened bedroom.
My breasts pushed against the confines of my bra as I took a deep breath. “Both,” I said again, this time with more strength. “I want your fingers, and your mouth, and then I want your cock.”
He grinned triumphantly. “That’s my girl.”
I glowed under his praise.
His fingers looped into the sides of my underwear and he slid them down as slowly as he possibly could until they landed on the floor. As he removed them his lips glided along the insides of my thighs and calf muscles. My body felt strung tight, waiting with rapt attention for what was to come.
“God, you’re so fucking beautiful. How did I get so lucky?” He murmured, kissing his way up my legs. His eyes flicked up to mine and let out a small groan. “Seeing you like this, spread apart for me and dripping wet, with your eyes hooded with lust…fuck, it’s the best thing ever and I haven’t even really touched you yet.”
“Please,” I begged.
His hands slid up my back and the clasp on the bra popped.
“That had to go first.” His eyes grew dark as he pulled the fabric down, freeing my breasts. He pulled the fabric completely off, dropping it onto the floor along with everything else.
“Your shirt too,” I reached out and began undoing the buttons on the vest, “I need to feel your skin.”
The last button slid free and the vest was gone. The sight of him in the button down white shirt shouldn’t have been such a turn on, but it was. He was a gorgeous man, inside and out, and he was here with me—a fact that might always baffle me. He could have his pick of women and he wanted to be here with broken, damaged, single-mother, me.
He deftly unbuttoned his shirt and his muscular chest was exposed for my viewing pleasure. My eyes fell to the hard lines of his stomach, dipping down into the black pants that hung low on his narrow hips.
“I’m going to make you feel good, Arden. So fucking good that this whole city will know my name.”
“I’m pretty sure they already do.”
His lips quirked. “Now’s not the time for jokes, woman, not when I’m about to lick your pussy.”
I shivered and he grinned in response.
He lowered his massive body over mine, shielding me like a blanket.
I gasped when I felt his fingers press into me and his mouth close around my sensitive flesh.
I gripped the sheets in a tight fist. In no time I was cursing, panting, sweating, and begging for him to make me come.
His fingers hooked inside me and I bowed off the bed, my fingers locking into his hair and holding him against me.
“Faster,” I pleaded, “Harder. Oh God. Like that. Keep doing that.”
My legs shook and my hand fell limp from his hair.
Black and white dots pulsed beneath my closed lids. I sucked in a lungful of air but it wasn’t nearly enough. I was sure all the oxygen had been sucked from the room with my cries.
His lips glided up my stomach, leaving behind a wet trail of kisses.
His mouth settled on my lips, his tongue swiping against mine as he coaxed me back to life.
“You’re gorgeous all the time, but when you come…you’re a fucking goddess.”
“I need more,” I begged wantonly.
He chuckled, his hand wrapping around my neck. He tilted my head back and nipped at my jaw. “So eager. I like it.”
“You’re wearing too many clothes.” I plucked impatiently at his belt. The need to feel him was all consuming. Even when things had been good with Todd I’d never desired him like this—where each breath was an effort and I thought I might pass out if I didn’t feel his skin sliding against mine.
He stood and I sat up, making the process of undoing his belt and pulling it through the loops so much easier.
With my fingers shaking against the button on his pants I looked up at him through hooded eyes.
I knew there was something I had to say before we continued.
“I don’t want you to think I want this because of what I told you earlier—like by being with you that will somehow erase my memories or something. I want this, right now, here with you, because of you and no other reason.” I stared at him, allowing him to let my words to sink in.
His eyes softened and he reached down, lovingly stroking my face.
“I didn’t know I needed to hear that, but I did. Thank you.”
He lowered from his looming height and cupped my cheeks between his hands. His lips settled over mine in a slow, leisurely pace that somehow only served to make me crave him even more.
He stood up again and his fingers stroked against my cheek.
“Have at it, Little Bird. Take what you want. I’m yours.”
I closed my eyes, my heart thundering in my ears as I lowered his zipper.
This was so different from the first time we’d been together. We’d both been tipsy then, definitely not drunk, but the alcohol had made me more comfortable. Now, I didn’t have the alcohol in my system to dull my senses. Everything was heightened.
I stroked my fingers against the hard ridge of his length pressing against his pants and he shivered.
Ever so slowly I began to pull his pants and boxer-briefs down like I was opening the best present I’d ever been given.
I looked up, watching as he tilted his head back and his eyes fell closed.
I ran my thumb over the tip of his cock and around the barbell piercing going through the top and bottom.
“I never even knew something like this existed before that night.” I confessed into the darkened room.
He leaned over, turning on one of the bedside lights and bathing the room in a warm golden glow.
“I needed to see you,” he whispered, reaching down to tangle his fingers in my hair. Eyeing my hand wrapped around his length, he said, “Does it scare you?”
“The piercing?” I waited for him to nod. “No, not at all,” I admitted, rolling my thumb around the tip and eliciting a soft moan from his throat. “I like it.”
He grinned at that but his smile soon disappeared when I dropped to my knees and wrapped my mouth around him.
“Oh holy fuck.” He cursed, fisting my hair in his hands and holding it away from my face.
I swirled my tongue around his tip, getting used to the foreign feeling of the piercing.
In the past, oral sex had never been something I’d enjoyed giving—and Todd certainly didn’t reciprocate—but with Hayes, I loved it. I loved watching him lose all control. I loved the soft pants that passed through his lips and the way he mumbled curse words under his breath and bit at his lip. Mostly, I loved the way he looked at me. Like I was the most amazing creature he’d ever seen.
I held the base of his cock in my hand, rubbing up and down as I took him as far into my mouth as I could.
I wanted to watch him come undone—to completely unravel from my touch.
But he wasn’t having it.
Just when I knew he was close he pushed me away and lifted me onto the bed.
He grabbed a condom, putting it on as quickly as possible, and then he was on top of me, in me, all around me.
Everything was Hayes.
I knew nothing but the feel of his fingers, the glide of his skin against mine, and his mouth pressed to my ear whispering sweet words.
My hands roamed down his back, grabbing his ass and tightening my legs around him.
“Harder,” I begged.
He kissed my collarbone and over my breasts before grabbing me by the waist and lifting my hips off the bed. He thrust against me, sweat dampening his brow, and his chest heaving with each labored breath.
“Like this?”
“Oh God,” I moaned, grabbing at the sheets, “just like that. Don’t stop.”
He ducked his head down and kissed me long and deep.
“Fuck, you feel so good. Never been like this before,” he said brokenly.
His words were my undoing and I fell apart around him. My legs shook uncontrollably and I let out a cry that could’ve been his name, but with my blood roaring in my ears I had no idea what I’d said.
“I love watching you come,” he confessed, biting my earlobe.
He pulled out of my body and before I could protest he’d flipped me over onto all fours and slid back inside me.
“You’re so wet. So fucking wet for me.” He murmured, placing small kisses down my spine.
A sharp sting on my ass had me turning my head to look at him and the fucker was grinning like the cat that ate the canary.
“You spanked me.” The words were breathless and barely audible.
“Hell yeah. This ass—” He spanked me again. “—is very spank-able.”
“I like it,” I confessed.
His grin widened. “I knew you were a naughty girl. You’re so fucking perfect for me it doesn’t seem real.”
He spanked me again and I let out a long moan, my hair falling forward to conceal my face.
Immediately he reached out, pushing my hair over my shoulder so that he could see every expression that settled on my face.
“You’re mine, Arden,” he growled, pulsing inside me. “Not because I own you, but because you own me.”
He sped up, angling my hips so he hit deeper inside me and the piercing rubbed against something that had me falling apart again in a matter of seconds.
He was right behind me.
His body fell over mine with one arm wrapped around my stomach and his chest pressed into my back while he used his other hand to hold himself above the mattress.
“You’ve fucking ruined me.”
I couldn’t seem to find enough air to produce words, but I wanted to tell him that it was the other way around.
He’d ruined me.
Completely.
And I’d never be the same.