WHILE WE’D WAITED for the police to arrive we’d all scoured the area for Mia, checking every shop and every street she might’ve been hiding in.
But Hayes and I both knew that Mia wasn’t hiding.
Deep down in my gut, call it mother’s intuition if you want, I knew that Todd had taken her.
The asshole had probably been watching us—even at Hayes’ house—for weeks, waiting for the perfect opportunity to strike and he’d finally found it.
The police asked me an endless amount of questions, ones that were simple but I was too flustered to answer, so Hayes jumped in.
What color is her hair?
What color are her eyes?
Approximate height and weight?
What was she wearing?
Did you notice anyone acting suspicious?
I broke down with that last question, my sobs thundering the air. I should’ve done something. Maybe gotten a restraining order against Todd. I’d never thought he’d try something like this, though. Try to get custody? Yeah, that seemed like Todd. But kidnapping? That seemed low even for him.
“Ma’am?” The officer prompted when I stopped sobbing. “Did you see someone?”
“No.” I wiped at my face, streaking mascara all over my arm. “But I think it might’ve been her dad.”
“Her dad?” The officer prompted.
I nodded. “He left before her birth and he’s been in town the past few weeks. Someone broke into my house and I think it was him. We filed a police report. You’ll see.” I waved at his notebook like it held all the answers in the world. “He’s crazy,” I babbled, “he wouldn’t think twice about taking her.”
The officer looked at me like I was the crazy one and resumed speaking to Hayes.
“Please,” I begged him, “stop standing here talking to us. You need to be out there looking for her. She’s just a little girl. She’s probably scared to death and crying and she needs me. Please.” I struggled to pull enough air into my lungs and grew dizzy.
“Whoa, steady.” Hayes grabbed my shoulders, keeping me from swaying. “You’re not going to be able to help Mia if you pass out. You need to calm down.”
“I can’t calm down!” I yelled, pissed off that he’d suggest such a thing. “My daughter is out there,” I waved my hand around to encompass the area, “probably with a man that hates her and wouldn’t think twice about hurting her.”
“Ma’am do you know what kind of car he drives? That might help us locate him.”
“No,” I shook my head, more tears rolling down my cheeks. Before this moment I didn’t know it was possible to cry so much. “I haven’t seen him in one and I doubt he has the same one he had years ago…that was a silver Honda Civic.”
“We’ll look into it.” The officer assured me with an apologetic smile. “Why don’t you go home and get some rest? We’ll continue the search.”
“Go home?” I repeated. “Get some rest? Are you crazy? My little girl is out there scared to death and you think I can just go home and sit around and wait? No way in hell! I’m going to be looking for her too!”
“Arden.” Hayes said my name in a low warning tone and guided me away.
“He’s crazy,” I hissed. “CRAZY!” I yelled louder so the officer was sure to hear me.
Hayes guided me over to our group of friends.
“Nothing?” Sadie asked, her face etched with worry. Ezra had his arms wrapped around her body like he was trying to keep her warm.
Hayes shook his head. “They don’t think she’s at the festival anymore. Whoever took her is probably long gone.”
“Whoever?” I spat. “We know who it was. The asshole!” My whole body shook with my barely contained rage. “I swear to God if I ever see him again I’ll gouge out his eyes with my fingernails.”
“Whoa,” Mathias’ eyes widened, “remind me not to piss that one off.”
“Bite me.” I snapped my teeth together.
Apparently no one was immune to my anger at the moment.
Hayes rubbed his hand up and down my back in an effort to calm me. I had to give him credit, despite yelling at him earlier he hadn’t abandoned me. He knew that I didn’t actually blame him. It was the anger and fear talking.
“We’re going to get her back. I promise.” He pressed his lips to my forehead.
I closed my eyes and let myself absorb the small bit of comfort. “I hope so.”
But I knew that if Todd was capable of hurting me the way he had, there was no telling what he might do to our daughter to get back at me.
Mia had been missing for three days.
Three whole days of no sleep, and little food or water for me since I couldn’t seem to stomach anything, and I was afraid that if I closed my eyes for even one second there might be some new piece of information.
Every day, for hours, Hayes and I drove around and around looking for anything that might be a clue as to where Mia was.
But the more time that passed the more I feared she wasn’t even in the state anymore.
The police had issued an Amber Alert—blasting Mia’s face everywhere, and Todd’s as a possible suspect.
My mom had proved helpful, when she found out that Mia was missing she came forward to say that Todd had been driving a small, dark green or black truck when he showed up at her house.
But there still wasn’t a lead.
And I began to fear that Todd wasn’t the one that took her.
If that was the case there was no telling where my baby girl might be.
“Arden…” Hayes stepped hesitantly into the guestroom.
At first I’d wanted to return to my house, like I’d stupidly believed Mia might come strolling up the front walk, but Hayes hadn’t let me. He thought it would be better for me to continue to stay with him.
I think he knew I wasn’t going to let him stay with me and he was afraid I might do something dumb…like hang myself with the shower curtain.
“Go away.” I mumbled the words as I wrapped my arms around the pillow Mia had slept on only a few nights earlier.
“You need to eat something. Please.”
His normally happy and smiling face was gone, instead replaced with a frown and worry lines.
“I can’t eat.”
“I know you don’t think you can, but you have to.” He strolled forward, a steaming mug of some kind of soup clasped in his hands. “You won’t be able to help look for Mia if you’re passed out from exhaustion and lack of food.”
I clutched the pillow tighter. I knew he was right, but I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to even swallow.
“Arden, please.” His eyes shimmered with worry.
I forced my weakened body into a seated position and held my hands out for the mug. He gladly handed it over, his shoulders sagging in relief that I’d finally accepted some sort of nourishment.
He sat by my feet, staring straight ahead at the wall and not me.
I lifted the spoon to my lips and sucked down the vegetable soup. I assumed it was homemade, and probably tasted delicious, but my taste buds didn’t seem to be working.
“I’m doing everything I can to find her.” Hayes whispered, finally turning to look at me with forlorn eyes.
“I know you are.” I forced myself to swallow another spoonful. “I just worry that it’s not enough.”
He winced, and I knew it’d been the wrong thing to say, but I was only being honest. I was afraid that nothing anyone did was going to be enough.
If Todd had taken her, that was bad.
But if it was someone else? Well, that was even worse and I didn’t even want to consider that possibility at all.
With that last thought I couldn’t stomach any more soup and thrust the mug back into his hands.
“I’m done. I’m sorry.”
“I’m sorry too,” he whispered. “So fucking sorry. You were right when you said this was my fault. We shouldn’t have gone to the festival.”
I shook my head. “No,” I said adamantly, “I was wrong to say that to you. You didn’t know that was going to happen. None of us can see the future. And Todd would’ve found a way to take her eventually.” I shrugged, ridding my mind of the possibility that it could’ve been someone else. “We could’ve been at the grocery store and he might have snagged her.” I sighed, drawing the blankets closer around my suddenly freezing body.
“I hate this.” He buried his head in his hands and let out a loud groan. “I’ve never felt so helpless in my entire life.”
“Me either,” I admitted, sinking back into the pillows. “And I thought I knew what it was like to be afraid. Todd made me fear for my life. But from where I’m standing now, it’s an even worse kind of torture to fear for someone else’s.”
Hayes took a deep breath. “Can you please try to get some sleep? We’ll head out in an hour to drive around some more.”
“I’ll try,” I conceded.
He stood and started to leave.
“Hayes,” I called.
He stopped and turned to look at me over his shoulder. “Yeah?” He raised a single brow.
“Stay with me?” I patted the empty space in the bed beside me.
For the past three days I’d done nothing but push him away and keep him at arm’s length. I couldn’t bear to be around anyone right now. But I knew Hayes loved my daughter and was worried sick too. I wasn’t being fair to him.
“Are you sure?” His mouth turned down in a frown and he started forward hesitantly.
I nodded. “I don’t want to be alone right now.”
He seemed torn, but finally he placed the mug down on the dresser and lay down on the bed.
He kept as much space between us as he could, trying to be respectful.
I rolled over onto my side and scooted closer to him.
“Arden,” he warned.
“I just want you to hold me. Please?” I begged brokenly.
His body was stiff at first, but slowly he began to relax and wrapped his arms around me. I wiggled around, trying to get comfortable. I laid my head on his chest, taking comfort in the steady bud-m, bud-m, bud-m, beating of his heart.
“I love you,” he whispered.
“I love you too. I’m sorry I’ve been such a bitch.” I smoothed my fingers down the soft cotton of his shirt.
“You’ve had every reason to be a bitch,” he chuckled, “I don’t blame you. I haven’t been very tolerable to my friends.”
“You’ve been patient with me,” I whispered.
“You’re the only one.” He smoothed his fingers through my hair. “I’ve been yelling at everyone else.”
“I’m so scared,” I admitted, clutching onto his shirt like it was my lifeline. “I’ve never felt so helpless before and I hate it. My little girl is out there without me, probably terrified out of her mind and nothing I do is helping.”
“I know what you mean…she’s not even my daughter, but fuck…I love her like she is. And you’re right, I feel so helpless. It’s not a good feeling.”
“Why does he keep ruining my life?” I whispered.
I felt Hayes shrug. “No idea. My guess is he wants you to feel as miserable as he does.”
“Probably,” I agreed.
“Now, please, be quiet and try to get some sleep.”
“Don’t leave me,” I begged him, holding onto his shirt even tighter. I was terrified that if I managed to get some sleep I’d wake up and not realize what had happened, and then have all the emotions come flooding back to drown me.
“I wouldn’t dream of it, Little Bird.”
Hayes let me sleep for four hours before he woke me up so we could continue our own search.
We’d dropped Casey and Greg off on a side street to sweep the town on foot, while we drove around. They both felt partly responsible for what happened to Mia, since they were supposed to be keeping an eye on her and me, but had been distracted by the mob forming around the boys. I’d blamed them at first—I’d tried to blame anyone I could, wanting to find someone I could lash out and hold responsible for this situation.
Today, I didn’t feel anger anymore. All I felt was fear and worry.
It was afternoon time, but the sky was overcast, painting the area in a dreary gray color that seemed to echo my mood.
Inside Hayes’ truck we were both silent, scanning the streets as he drove by at a snail’s pace.
I knew our efforts were most likely futile, the chances of her still being in town were slim, but I had to do something. I couldn’t do what the police said and stay at home and wait for an update from them.
“Anything?” I asked Hayes.
“No.”
This was always his response.
“Anything?” He asked me.
“No.”
That way always my response.
I was growing wearier with every passing second that there was no news, no shred of evidence.
Hayes continued to drive, circling around the downtown area again and again.
On our fifth time around, something caught my eye. “Stop!” I yelled, throwing my hands out. “Stop!”
He slammed on the brakes and I jumped out of the truck. “Mia!” I yelled, running down the street and around the corner after the little girl I’d seen. “Mia!”
I spotted the little girl up ahead, wearing a bright red coat, with her red hair hanging in waves down her back.
“Mia!”
She didn’t turn around. Her hand was clasped in someone’s, but I couldn’t bring myself to notice who it was. All of my focus was trained on my daughter.
Footsteps pounded behind me and I knew Hayes had joined me.
“Mia!” I called again as I neared her.
I reached out and grabbed her shoulder to turn her around.
“Hey!” The woman with her yelled.
And that’s when I looked down and saw that the little girl wasn’t my daughter. She had the same red hair, but her eyes were a warm brown and she was definitely older, probably six or seven.
“Sorry.” I removed my hands from her quickly, like I’d been burned. “I’m sorry,” I repeated. “I thought…”
“Arden.” Hayes caught up to me and grabbed my hand, pulling my body into his like he was trying to shield me from the fact that this girl was not my daughter.
The mother of the girl seemed to finally notice us and her mouth widened in horror. “Oh! You’re the one with the missing daughter.”
I winced like I’d been slapped.
The police had me do an interview, pleading for the safe return of my daughter, and it had been blasted everywhere so there was no surprise that she recognized me.
“Yeah,” I admitted, taking a step back.
“I’m so sorry. That’s horrible. I hope you find her.” She smiled sympathetically.
“Mhmm, yeah, thanks.” I mumbled, and turned sharply, hurrying back to the parked truck.
“Arden!” Hayes called after me. “Arden!”
He grabbed my arm, effectively halting my hurried steps.
Tears streaked my cheeks. I felt like my face was constantly damp with tears right now.
“Are you okay?” He peered down at me, trying to see into my eyes.
“No, I’m not.” I wrapped my arms around my body in a futile effort to hold myself together. “This is tearing me apart,” I choked.
He took my face between his hands and lowered to press his forehead to mine.
“I know and I’m so sorry.”
“What if I never see her again,” I sobbed, holding onto his body for support.
“Hey, hey,” he cooed, “don’t think like that. She’s fine.”
“I want to believe that, but it’s been three days with nothing. Not one shred of evidence or a tip on their whereabouts. Todd is a conniving son of a bitch, and I know him well enough that if he took her then he had a plan and I don’t know what that plan might be.”
Hayes held me for a moment, rocking back and forth in an effort to comfort me. “We’re going to find her. The police have been working tirelessly to find her. It’s just a matter of time.”
Drying my eyes I stepped away from him. “Let’s go. I want to keep looking.”
He nodded once and followed me back to the truck.
We picked up Greg and Casey and drove around for hours and hours, but just like the previous days there was no sign of Mia or Todd.
It was scary how easily someone could disappear and cease to exist.