I DIDN’T TELL Hayes about the note.
I knew I should have, but I couldn’t. I was too horrified to repeat it.
I spent the whole week walking around like a complete mope, barely uttering more than the necessary response to anything he said. Even Mia could tell something was wrong with me and was constantly asking me if I was sick or had a fever. I was sick, but not in the way she thought.
I stood now, in Hayes’ closet, getting ready for dinner with my parents. Since my parents weren’t fussy people I decided to wear a pair of jeans and a black and white striped long-sleeved shirt.
Hayes strode into the closet wearing nothing but a pair of low-slung dark jeans with the belt hanging undone.
He was trying to kill me.
I itched to reach out and run my fingers over the curves of his abs, but I wouldn’t. It felt wrong to touch him when I was keeping the note a secret from him.
Hayes eyed me, lifting his lips slightly in challenge. He knew exactly what he was doing to me. The jerk was trying to break me.
“You look beautiful,” he said, his muscled back to me as he flicked through the shirts hanging in his closet, “you’d look even better naked on your back, all sweaty and freshly fucked, with my come on your stomach.”
I squeaked like a small mouse and he chuckled.
Glancing over at me, he narrowed his eyes, “Something’s going on with you, Arden, and you’ll eventually spill the beans.”
I ran from the closet and he cackled behind me.
Jerk.
I hurried downstairs before he could tempt me further and joined Mia in the family room where she was watching The Little Mermaid—her obsession.
Hayes came down the steps a few minutes later, the sound of his sneakers slapping against the steps alerting me of his presence.
He strolled into the family room looking ridiculously too good-looking to only be wearing a simple pair of jeans and a t-shirt. Or maybe I was so horny that anything he wore would make him appear devilishly handsome and extremely fuckable.
Jeez, my head was too far-gone in the gutter to be having dinner with my parents.
Hayes glanced down at his watch. “We better go. We’re going to be late if we don’t.”
“Right,” I sighed. “Come on, Mia.” I reached for her hand. “You can finish your movie when we get home.”
She pouted, crossing her arms over her chest and refusing to grab ahold of my hand. “I don’t wanna go. I wanna watch my movie.”
“I know, sweetie, but Grandma and Grandpa are waiting for us. We need to go.”
“Ugh.” She groaned, kicking her legs.
Normally I was lucky with Mia, and she didn’t give me too much sass, but then there were moments like this when it came out in full force.
Hayes paused the movie and turned the TV off which sent her screaming with crocodile tears streaming down her face.
I was already wound so tight that I couldn’t handle a meltdown. “Mia!” I yelled. “Stop this! This behavior is unacceptable!”
She only cried harder and I pressed my face into my hands, letting out a frustrated groan.
I took a few deep breaths, trying to calm myself.
Straightening, I said in a soft tone, “Mia, we have to go. The movie will be waiting for you when we get back.”
Still pouting, she stomped out of the room and towards the garage door.
I pinched the bridge of my nose and closed my eyes.
I opened them when I felt the brush of Hayes’ fingers against the exposed skin of my stomach where my shirt had ridden up.
His eyes were filled with concern and his lips turned down into a frown. “Talk to me,” he pleaded. “Please.”
I took a step back and his hand dropped from my side. I shook my head and started for the garage.
He sighed behind me, and mumbled, “You are infuriating.”
I swallowed thickly, knowing that my silence was hurting him.
The drive to my parent’s house was filled with awkward silence, only broken by the occasional direction I lobbed his way.
Hayes glared out the windshield, a muscle in his jaw ticking.
I knew he probably wanted to snap at me, but he also didn’t want to scare me, which led to him sitting broodingly in the driver’s seat.
By the time we reached my parent’s house I was tempted to tell him to turn the car around and go home—that neither of us were in any shape to spend the evening with my parents.
Hayes pulled into the driveway of the modest, one story ranch style home, and killed the engine.
He sat with his fists clenched in his lap, but made no move to get out of the vehicle.
I cracked.
“I’m sorry,” I cried, “I know I’m being a horrible person right now and you don’t understand and I’m so sorry.” I pressed the heels of my hands into my eyes, probably streaking my mascara in the process, but not really caring. “Please,” I begged, “I have my reasons and I just…I don’t want to talk about it.”
He glared at me with steely blue eyes. “You need to talk about it with me. Remember, you don’t have to fight alone anymore, Arden. I’m here and I’m not going anywhere.” His face softened and he reached over to trail his finger over the curve of my cheek.
My eyes closed and I breathed in a shaky breath.
“Stop trying to take on the world alone,” he whispered, “a battle fought alone is a battle lost.”
I swallowed thickly, the note burning a hole in my purse.
I should’ve told him from the moment I saw it, but I’d stupidly kept it to myself. Apparently, when it came to Todd, I became a big ball of dumb. I’d been so hurt by him in the past, and my silence had been my protection, but also my downfall, and now I was letting history repeat itself.
Before I could grab the note, the front door opened and my mom came running out.
“Later.” I told Hayes, my stomach twisting with the thought.
He nodded once.
I scurried out of the truck and greeted my mom with a hug.
She held me tight, squeezing until I felt like I couldn’t breathe.
“I’ve missed you.” She patted my cheek. “You don’t visit enough.”
“I know. I’ve missed you too.”
My parents lived almost an hour away from me, which made visiting difficult with my schedule.
“Let me see this man of yours and my grandbaby.” She winked.
I laughed and turned to see Hayes walking over to join us with Mia in his arms.
“Hello,” he extended his hand to my mom. “I’m Joshua, but I go by Hayes.”
At only five-foot-two my mom had to crane her head back to look at him.
“My God, you’re tall.” She said.
He chuckled. “Yes, ma’am, I am.”
“Oh!” She seemed to then realize what she said. “Forgive me for forgetting my manners. I’m Stella.” She paused. “I’d hug you, but you currently have your hands full.”
Hayes grinned, his dimple making an appearance—I was happy to see it, since it’d been missing all week.
“Yes, quite full,” he agreed.
“It’s cold out here,” she clapped her hands together, “come on, come on.” She turned, heading back towards the house and waving for us to follow. “Dinner is ready and waiting…if your father hasn’t eaten all of it, that is.” She cackled merrily.
“I like your mom,” Hayes whispered. “She’s funny.”
“She’s something else,” I agreed.
We entered the quaint dining room and my dad stood from the table to great us.
“Josh,” Hayes held out his hand, “but you can call me Hayes.”
Since I only called Hayes…well, Hayes, it was always weird to hear his first name. It didn’t seem to suit him the way Hayes did.
“Nice to meet you.” My dad shook his hand. “I’m Henry. Here,” my dad pointed to one of the chairs beside him, “why don’t you sit there, so uh, we can get to know each other.”
“Dad.” I glared venomously at him.
“I’ll be nice.” He rushed to assure me.
I gave Hayes an apologetic look, but he merely chuckled and took the seat.
My mom took the one across from him and I sat beside him with Mia to my left.
“This smells delicious, mom.” I commented, inhaling the scent of homemade lasagna.
“I know it’s your favorite.” She smiled, cutting into it and heaping a serving large enough for three men onto my plate. “You’re too thin. Eat up.”
My mother, always the worrier.
She was right though, I was too thin at the moment. All the stress I’d been under with the Todd situation had led to me skipping meals and losing sleep.
She cut a piece even larger and put it on Hayes’ plate.
“Thank you.” He smiled at her and I breathed easy, glad his irritation from earlier had disappeared for the moment. Not that I could blame him for being irritated with me.
“Thanks for having us, mom.” I said as I cut up the small piece she’d put on Mia’s plate.
“We’ve really been looking forward to meeting you.” She glanced up at Hayes and brushed her red hair from her eyes. It was beginning to gray slightly and she had crow’s feet beside her eyes, but I still thought my mom was beautiful inside and out.
“Likewise.” Hayes smiled, reaching for the basket of garlic bread. He grabbed a piece and put it on my plate before taking one for himself.
“So…you’re in a band?” My dad asked, raising a brow in disbelief.
Hayes chuckled and ducked his head to hide his crooked smile. “Well, yes, but it’s not like how you’re making it sound.”
“You don’t play in a garage and live in your parent’s basement, then?” My dad asked.
“Daddy!” I scolded, my face reddening in embarrassment.
My dad chuckled. “It’s just a question sweetheart. Simmer down.”
“No, I don’t live in my parent’s basement.” Hayes was doubled over in laughter.
“What’s the name of your band?” My mom asked.
When I’d told her about Hayes on the phone I’d mentioned he was in a band, but didn’t tell her it was Willow Creek. In this area everyone knew of them since they were local. So while my mom didn’t recognize his name, she’d definitely know the band.
“Willow Creek.”
Like I expected both of my parents’ eyes widened and my mom looked close to passing out.
She coughed, choking on a piece of lasagna noodle.
“Mom?” I asked worriedly. “Are you okay?”
She gulped greedily at her glass of water. “Fine, fine.” She waved away my concern. “I just wasn’t expecting that.”
“Wow,” my dad gasped, “you’re in a real band.”
Hayes chuckled, unaffected by their surprise. “Yes, sir.”
“Does this mean Arden and Mia will be going on tours with you?” He flicked his fingers in my direction.
“Dad,” I scolded yet again, “don’t.”
Hayes shrugged. “I don’t know. It’ll be a while before we go on tour again, but I’d love for Arden and Mia to come if that’s what they’d like to do.”
“And if they don’t go does that mean you’ll be banging groupies every night and bringing back every STD imaginable to my daughter?”
“Dad!” I groaned, burying my face in my hands.
Hayes took it all in stride. “No, sir. I love your daughter and there definitely won’t be any groupies in my future.”
My dad harrumphed. “You better not be lying to me.”
“I wouldn’t dream of it sir.”
My dad seemed to be contemplating something and finally said, “I like you.” Hayes grinned at this. My dad leveled him with a glare and his smile disappeared. “But if you hurt her I’ll break your bones. I didn’t get the chance with the first one and I won’t miss my opportunity this time should the need arise.”
Hayes pressed his lips together, trying to look scared, but I knew in actuality he was trying his hardest not to laugh.
“I won’t hurt her,” Hayes vowed.
My dad chuckled. “We’ll see.”
Before Hayes could take another bite of lasagna my mom launched into a barrage of questions. “What’s it like being famous? Is it fun traveling the world? What’s the craziest thing you’ve ever done on the road?”
Hayes answered each question and didn’t seem at all perturbed by it.
We’d finished our meal and I was helping my mom gather the plates—Hayes and my dad having retired to the living room where my dad was probably drilling him on his knowledge of all things football—when she said, “I can’t believe you’re dating someone so famous.”
My mom was officially star-struck.
But having lived in rural Virginia her whole life it wasn’t like she’d met that many famous people—exactly zero until now—so I chose to let her enjoy the moment.
“He doesn’t feel famous to me.” I shrugged, carrying the plates into the adjoining kitchen. The counters were the same old gray corian they’d always been with white cabinets that had chipping paint. The whole house needed a sprucing up, but it still felt like home. “He’s just Hayes.”
“He’s very handsome.” She grinned, bumping her hip with mine.
I blushed and set the plates in the sink before running water and adding a bit of soap. “He’s okay I guess.”
“You guess?” She laughed, poking my side. “I see the way you look at him and how he looks at you…it’s nice to see you happy, Arden.” She reached out, wrapping her arms around my shoulders in an awkward side hug. “I’ve missed seeing that light in your eyes.” She paused, seeming to search for the right words. “Not that I don’t think you’ve been happy with only you and Mia, but something’s been missing for a while and I think you’ve finally found it. I like him. A lot.”
Until that moment I hadn’t realized how much I needed my mother’s approval.
“You do?” My voice sounded meek.
She nodded, nudging me out of her way so she could rinse the dishes off. She handed me a towel to dry the plates.
“I really do,” she said, “and you don’t realize it, but when he looks at you…you light up Arden. I’ve never seen you like that before. I’m really happy for you.”
“Thanks mom.” I set the dry dish down and hugged her.
She kissed the top of my head and handed me the next plate. “Have you heard anymore from Todd?” She asked, lowering her voice and shifting her eyes towards the entrance to the kitchen. “I didn’t tell your dad he showed up,” she admitted with a shrug. “I was kind of afraid if I told him he might end up in jail for attempted murder.”
She probably wasn’t joking.
My dad was beyond angry with Todd—not that I wasn’t too, but I think it really hurt my dad to feel like he hadn’t been protecting me when he should have. But it was my own fault for never telling anyone about the abuse. For people that had never been abused it was easy to think someone was dumb or naïve for keeping their mouth shut, but they didn’t realize how manipulative an abuser was and how the victim felt terrified for their life.
“I haven’t heard from him anymore,” I lied. There was no point in telling her about the break in, or note, because there was nothing she could do, and I didn’t want her to worry herself to death.
“That’s good.” She nodded, handing me the last dish. “He’s an odd one.”
I snorted and began putting the dry dishes away. “Odd doesn’t even begin to cover it.”
She laughed. “Yeah, I guess that’s true…you know,” she mused, propping a hand on her hip, “he was always nice enough, I suppose, but there was this underlying…darkness in his eyes. I should’ve known something was up.” She frowned, the lines in her face deepening.
I reached out and hugged her, placing a kiss on her cheek. “You couldn’t have known mom.”
“Still…” She mumbled and tears shimmered in her eyes.
“No,” I took her by the shoulders, “don’t blame yourself for any of that, okay? Just be thankful that he’s out of my life now.”
She nodded, sucking in a lungful of air to calm herself. “Well, if he shows up again you let me know.”
“I will, mom.” I hugged her again, even tighter than before. “I love you.”
“I love you too.”
“We better head back,” I told her. “It’s getting close to Mia’s bedtime.”
“Of course.” She pulled her hair back and secured it with a clip that had been pinned to her sweater.
I found Hayes and my dad in the family room and Mia was curled up in Hayes’ lap with her head rested on his chest, fast asleep. Her mouth was wide open and her drool had left a wet spot on his gray t-shirt, but he didn’t seem to mind. He was lying back on the couch with his arms crossed behind his head while my dad sat in his favorite weathered recliner. The recliner looked like it needed to be tossed in the nearest dumpster—it was ripped in places with stuffing coming out, and dirty, but he refused to get rid of it.
“We need to head home,” I told Hayes, leaning against the archway that led into the living room.
Hayes lowered one of his arms and looked at his watch. “Yep, you’re right.”
He held onto Mia and came into a sitting position before standing. Mia blinked her eyes open briefly before promptly falling back asleep.
Seeing her so content in Hayes’ arms made me smile.
“It was really nice meeting you both.” Hayes nodded at my dad and then my mom. “Next time we’ll have dinner at my house.”
“That sounds lovely.” My mom chimed, completely swooning over my boyfriend.
“Bye, dad.” I bent over to hug my dad, knowing that there was no way in hell he was getting out of his recliner.
“Bye.” He kissed my cheek and hugged me tight. “Visit your old man more often. I’m not getting any younger.”
“Sure thing.” I laughed. “Love you.”
“Love you too, buttercup.”
I hugged my mom goodbye and hurried outside.
Hayes had already put Mia in her car seat and started the car. The vents blew out warm air, which I was thankful for since even in the short time it took me to get from the house to the truck my cheeks and hands had grown cold.
Hayes had turned on the radio and some old rock song played softly out of the speakers.
“That wasn’t too bad,” Hayes chuckled, backing out of the driveway.
“It could’ve definitely been worse,” I agreed. “And by the end there my dad seemed to really like you.”
“It’s impossible not to like me,” Hayes chortled, “I’m a fucking awesome human being.”
I glared at him. “No cussing.” I pointed over my shoulder to the backseat where Mia was.
“Sorry,” he smiled sheepishly, “but she is asleep.”
“No excuses,” I grinned, poking his side.
I was glad that, for the moment at least, we were back to ourselves. I knew my melancholy attitude the past week was driving Hayes insane. At one point I’d heard him mutter to himself, “Fucking PMS always ruining everything.”
I wished my problem was as simple as PMS, but nothing with Todd was ever simple, and I knew that I had to share the note with Hayes tonight. The only person I was protecting by keeping it a secret was Todd and he was the last person who needed to be safe in this scenario.
“What are you thinking about over there?” He questioned, glancing over at me briefly before his eyes drifted back to the road ahead. “You have a wrinkle between your brows that tells me you’re thinking really hard about something. Care to share?”
My plan had been to wait until we got home to tell him, but what was the point in that?
“I figure it’s about time I explain why I’ve been so weird the last week,” I shrugged.
Suddenly, he paled and seemed to choke on his own saliva. “You’re not pregnant are you?”
“What?” I gasped, suppressing a laugh. “No! Of course not.”
“Oh, thank God,” he breathed a sigh of relief. He glanced over at me, even more horrified than he had been a moment ago. “Not that a baby would be a bad thing…I mean, I want kids…someday, not now. I think we already have our hands full.” He tossed his thumb over his shoulder and I smiled at his use of the word we, like Mia was his. “Alright,” he adjusted in the seat, “tell me what’s going on.”
“That day you took me by my house to get my car?” I prompted.
“Yeeeeaaah?” He drew out the word, waving a hand impatiently for me to get to the point.
“There was a note on the counter. A note that hadn’t been there.”
His teeth snapped together with a loud clank. “You have got to be kidding me,” he muttered, shaking his head roughly. “What did it say?”
“ ‘I’ll get what’s mine.’ ” Bile rose up in my throat from having to say the words out loud.
“Todd?”
“It was his handwriting,” I sighed.
I glanced behind me at my sleeping daughter in the backseat. She was so beautiful, and perfect, and sweet, and a million other things, and I’d never forgive myself if Todd used her to hurt me.
“We need to tell the police,” he said, his hands flexing around the steering wheel.
“What are they going to do?” I laughed humorlessly. “He hasn’t done anything physical and we have no solid proof that he’s the one that broke into my house. The fingerprints they found came back without a match, which I figured would be the case.”
“I’m flying Casey and Greg in.” Hayes said forcefully, like he was daring me to contradict him, which of course I did.
“And what are they going to do? They’re your bodyguards, not mine.”
“They do what I tell them,” he countered. “I’m their boss, and if I tell them not to let you and Mia out of their sight that’s what they’re going to do.”
I shook my head and glanced out the window where small flakes of snow swirled around and around in the night sky.
“I hate this,” I muttered to myself, “I hate this whole situation and I hate him for doing this to me. For making me feel scared—and not even scared for myself this time.” I turned back to look at Mia before staring at Hayes’ profile. “I’m terrified of what he might do to her. I know that he wouldn’t think twice about hurting her just to get back at me, and look at her Hayes!” My voice rose with fear. “She’s so small and innocent. She might not be a baby anymore, but to me she is, and I never want her to have the kind of memories I do from what he did to me. I don’t want her to live in fear that every man or boy she meets is going to raise a hand against her.”
“And that’s exactly why Casey and Greg are getting their asses on the first plane I can get them on.” He nodded his head adamantly.
I scrubbed at my face, suddenly completely, and overwhelmingly, exhausted. “This should be a happy time for us,” I sighed, tears stinging my eyes, “we should be basking in our new relationship glow, and I should be excited about Mia’s birthday and Christmas coming up, but instead I have this to deal with.” I clenched my teeth together. “I’m so angry that he’s once again ruining my life. I was so naïve to think he was gone for good.” I shook my head, glaring out the window once more.
Hayes reached for my hand and squeezed it tightly, reassuring me without words that he was here and we could get through this.
I was glad one of us had faith that everything would be okay, because right now I was just done.
By the time we arrived back at his place I was ready to fall over asleep, but I had to get Mia in her pajamas and into bed.
Hayes carried her inside and up to her room.
While I was changing her, because she was too tired to dress on her own, he went downstairs to fix her a glass of water since she’d been waking up the past few nights thirsty.
I lifted her into the bed and tucked the blankets around her. “Snug as a bug in a rug.” I bent and kissed her forehead as Hayes strolled into the room, placing her cup of water on the nightstand.
“Goodnight, Ms. Mia.” He said, kissing her forehead in the same spot I had.
She blinked sleepily up at us and yawned. “Night, night, Momma. Daddy.”
Beside me Hayes froze.
I was pretty sure he stopped breathing all together.
Mia yawned once more before her eyes closed and I knew she’d fallen back to sleep.
Hayes turned to me slowly, his eyes wide with wonder. His lips were parted with a silent gasp.
“Wow.” He murmured. “That was…wow.” He rubbed at his jaw, stifling a small grin, and I swore tears swam in his eyes. “I didn’t know it would feel like that to hear someone call me daddy,” he admitted as we backed out of her room, and I eased the door partly closed.
“And what does it feel like?” I stretched onto my tiptoes and wrapped my arms around his neck.
“It’s hard to describe,” he admitted, kissing the end of my nose, “but I liken it to that rush I got when I jumped out of a plane one time—like I’m invincible and can take on the world. Like I am someone.”
“You are someone,” I whispered in his ear.
He bent to kiss me softly, his lips lingering against mine. “And now I know it.”