CHAPTER ONE – ROSE

Shit here we go again.

Nothing good ever came in the mail. The first few days after the first of the month were the days when most of our bills came and I was reminded how dirt poor we really were.

Oh well. There was no need to prolong the pain any further. “Rip that Band-Aid off”, as my mom would say. I took a deep breath and opened the mailbox.

Stacked neatly inside were three threatening letters from the same credit card companies letting me know that I was ninety days behind.

No shit, Sherlock.

The hole I kept digging every month just kept getting deeper. I’m one straw away from breaking the camel’s back.

And when that happens… shit, I don’t know what I’ll do.

The one bright spot of this morning’s trip to the mailbox was the thick pack of coupons at the bottom of the stack.

I tucked the bills under my arm and tore into the coupons as I walked back up the gravel drive to the house I shared with Cassie, and my ten year old brother. Coupons were a necessity of life in Rose’s world.

“Sis! Is breakfast ready yet?”

“Why don’t you come down here and see for yourself?”

I dashed my behind to the kitchen stove to scramble the now nearly burned eggs in a pan, while Kevin bounded down the stairs. His brooding eyes narrowed as he saw me standing at the stove, and I could feel the quip coming on before he even spat it out.

“I thought you said breakfast was—”

“I only said to come see. Sit. Now.”

He groaned but sat down at the table. He blew spit bubbles, and I grimaced. His dark hair fluttered around his head as he leaned back into his chair. He needed a haircut, but that would have to wait. The morning was as hectic as ever. I had to get Kevin to school before I could even think about clocking in for work, and I was running behind.

Fifteen minutes behind, to be exact.

My cell phone rang on the counter, and I saw Crystal’s name pop up. I loved my best friend and all, but I really needed a break. I didn’t need to be taking her call right now, but I knew if I didn’t pick up, she’d just keep calling and calling.

“Sis, food!” Kevin demanded.

“Sit down and hush. It’s almost ready.”

“We’re gonna be late for school,” Kevin said.

“And had it not taken me ten minutes to roll you outta bed, we wouldn’t be running late. Buck up and hush.”

I picked up the phone and pinned it to my ear with my shoulder as the toast popped out of the toaster. I could feel the sweat trickling down the back of my neck. Of all the mornings for Crystal to be chatting in my ear, it had to be this one.

“What?” I asked.

“Oh, good. You’re in a shitty mood. I’ve got something that’ll make you feel better!”

“You know I love you, but do spit it out because I’m late,” I said.

“Ooh. Testy. I’m inviting you for a long weekend in New York City. My penthouse is open to you, and we really need to catch up. I haven’t seen you much since school.”

“Responsibility will do that to you, I guess.”

“How’s Kevin doing by the way?” she asked. “With everything?”

“As well as he can, I guess.”

I’d met Crystal at culinary school in New York City and we’d been attached at the hip since. Even with the distance between us now, our friendship never drifted. She came from a rich family and she’d had a wild hair up her ass to become a chef after finding her own personal obsession with cooking shows. It came as no shock when she dropped out after the first year but what was unexpected was for me to do the same. My parents died in a car crash caused by a drunk driver, and it left me as the sole caretaker of my little brother Kevin. That night changed both our lives forever.

“Rose, come on,” Kevin groaned.

“Shut up, or you’re not eating,” I said.

“Sounds about right,” Crystal said. “Anyway, you have to come see me. I’m not taking no for an answer.”

“I don’t have anyone to watch Kevin,” I said.

“Get Cassie to watch him. She’s your roommate, right? Did I get that name right?”

“Yes, you did. And yes, she is. But she isn’t my personal babysitter so I can go party in the city.”

“Rose, you never do anything for yourself. Just once, allow yourself to let go. He’ll be fine with her. He likes her, right? She’s not a dick?”

“No, Crystal,” I said. “My roommate isn’t a dick.”

I spooned eggs onto Kevin’s plate before I dropped a piece of buttered toast in front of his face. I set the pan on the table and went to go grab him a glass, pouring some milk for both of us, Rose style. What’s Rose style you might ask? The good ol’ half milk, half water strategy I use most mornings. It was just one of the many ways I stretched a dollar in our budget tight home.

The cost of living in our small community in Poconos PA wasn’t high in comparison to the Big Apple, which was about a three and half hour drive away. However, one waitressing gig didn’t exactly scream discretionary income.

“Take the time off work and come. December is the best time to spend in the city!” Crystal said. “If I have to come get you, you’re staying longer.”

“Fine. Fine. I’ll come spend a weekend or something in your bad-ass Sex and the City penthouse.”

“Soon,” she said.

“Soon, I promise. I’ve missed you, too. Life’s just been a bit hectic.”

“We’re gonna get you away from it for a little bit,” she said. “And don’t worry about money. I’ve got it. Just get yourself here. I’ll even reimburse you for the ticket.”

“You don’t have to do that,” I said.

“Well, I am anyway. You work too hard for everyone else. You need a break. See you this weekend.”

“Wait, I didn’t say this —”

She hung up the phone before I could counter and I groaned. Of course, she would try to slip that last point in. She wanted me over this weekend and my mind was rushing in with excuses and reasons not to go. I looked over at Kevin, who was devouring his eggs, and I sighed in frustration. I missed my parents more than I could stand. I had to drop out of culinary school and take a job waitressing to support my younger brother and all I got in return was his sassiness. I understood it. He was hurting, just like I was. I didn’t ask anything in return. But man, I really needed a break.

So, I picked up the phone and called Cassie to ask her for a favor.

***

Two Days Later

I found myself looking out the window of the car Crystal had dumped me into. Looking out at all the hustling bodies was a far cry from Poconos, Pennsylvania. The last couple of years had really taken a toll on both my brother and me and I needed this time away. I knew Cassie would plan a lot of things for her and Kevin to do to help him decompress as well. I lost my parents when I was nineteen, but he was only eight.

My heart ached for him as I continued to look out the window of the car.

People were just going about their business. Some were shopping for Christmas gifts, while others were walking hand in hand with their lovers. Me? I was about to get yanked out of the car by my best friend and dragged into a very eclectic and unique shop so I could get an outfit for something called a Whips and Chains Masquerade.

Only in New York, I guessed.

Crystal was squealing and walking through the aisles while I stood there, fingering the fabrics of the very revealing dresses. Was she serious? Did she actually expect me to put myself into one of these and go out into public in it?

I barely even had time for showers, much less sex.

What a weird week this was turning out to be.

“What do you think?”

Crystal came striding out of the dressing room in what could only be described as a red vinyl car seat. She had shiny fabric wrapped around random parts of her body while revealing the parts she really needed to cover up. It barely covered her ass, and it most certainly didn’t do anything to cover her chest. I blushed just looking at her in it.

“You really are a virgin, aren’t you?” she asked, giggling.

It wasn’t that I wanted to be. It was just that I didn’t have any time. I studied hard my first year of culinary school to try and sink my claws into a full-ride scholarship. When my parents passed away and Kevin needed a caretaker, everything else went to the back burner. I didn’t date because of my schoolwork and then I couldn’t date because I needed to work to make ends meet.

So what if I was a virgin?

“I don’t see what that has to do with anything,” I said.

“You don’t even like girls, and you can’t look at me in this dress. Does it look that bad?” She looked at herself in the mirror, frowning.

“Nope,” I said.

“Then you’re just embarrassed,” she said, grinning.

“Of course, I am. I don’t want to see my best friend’s tits.”

“My nipples are covered!” she exclaimed. “But still, I see what you mean. Time to try on another one. Which ones are you gonna try?”

“None of them,” I said.

“Nope. You’re not leaving until you have an outfit for this party.”

“I didn’t even agree to go to this party,” I said. “You just dragged me out here after springing it on me right after I landed.”

“Trust me,” she said. “You need this just as much as I do.”

“Whatever. You wanna know what I think? I think we’re crazy for doing this.”

Crystal’s cousin, Elizabeth, had popped up in her email inviting us to this stupid party. Crystal kept telling me about how her cousin had been diving into the world of BDSM clubs, and how Crystal had become curious herself. She hit me with two glasses of wine the moment I walked into her penthouse and, an hour later, we were back in her car and driving to this stupid store. She kept talking my ear off about how it was going to be so much fun, and maybe she’d meet some hot guy that would tie her to his bed, and all I could do was gawk.

Tie her to a bed? Was she joking? Excuse me while I laugh hysterically.

“Crystal! That looks fabulous on you!”

“Eli!”

I sighed the moment I heard her voice. Of course, her cousin would find us in this shop.

“I can’t wait for you guys to see this place,” Eli said. “It’s the hottest BDSM party of the season. Everyone’s gonna be there.”

“What exactly is this party, anyway?” I asked.

“It’s a place where no one knows your name,” she said. “Everyone uses aliases, and they all wear masks. Doms look for their next subs and newbies like yourself get to gaze into rooms and take a peek at the action.”

“Excuse me?” I asked. “People are like… gonna be having sex everywhere?”

“Not like… out there on the couches and the porch. There will be rooms and closed doors. If you wanna see what’s going on, all you gotta do is knock and wait for someone to call out to you. Who knows? Someone might even ask you to join.”

“No, thanks,” I said.

“I, for one, can’t wait,” Crystal said. “The last one I went to was fabulous.”

“You’ve been to one?” I asked.

“I got a taste of what it meant to be a sub,” Crystal said, nodding. “Not my thing. I prefer my meat tamed.”

“What the hell are you talking about?” I asked.

“My cousin’s a natural dom,” Eli said. “Dominant. They look for subs, or submissives, to command. To control. To do whatever they want with.”

“This doesn’t sound like fun!” I exclaimed. “This sounds… horrible.”

“No one is going to force themselves on you, Rose,” Eli said. “If there’s one thing the BDSM community is big on, it’s consent. No one will even touch you without asking first. And if you say ‘no,’ there’s no harm done. At all.”

“Rose, I wouldn’t ever put you in a situation where I thought you’d be taken advantage of,” Crystal said. “I didn’t realize that was the reason you were worried.”

“It’s not the only reason, but it’s a big one,” I said.

“Is she still a virgin?” Eli asked.

“Yep,” Crystal said. “Part of me kind of wants to change that.”

Part of me wants to crawl under a damn rock and die.

“Hello? I’m right here,” I said. “And that’s not changing at some party with some random guy whose name I won’t even know.”

“Either way, it’ll be a fun experience,” Crystal said. “Come on, you came to New York for me, but you also came for an adventure, right?”

She had me there, but this definitely wasn’t the kind of adventure I was thinking about. I was thinking more along the lines of dancing, some drunken karaoke, and maybe flirting with some guys in the park.

Not a masquerade BDSM sex party with a Christmas theme. I couldn’t make this shit up.

“Look, you can’t give up now,” Crystal said. “We’ve already RSVP’d. Let’s find us some outfits and really do it up. If you don’t like it after thirty minutes, we’ll leave and go get drinks.”

“Speak for yourself,” Eli said. “I’ve been looking forward to this event all year.”

“Whatever,” I said.

“Okay,” Crystal said. “Go back there into dressing room number three. I put a dress in there that’s perfect for you. You have to try it on.”

I groaned, but I also did what she asked. She shoved me down the hallway and I slipped into the dressing room. I balked the moment I saw the dress. It was a white, lacy, floor-length gown that was see-through. You’d be able to see my underwear! “Time’s a’tickin’!” Crystal said as she tossed some things over. “Put those on underneath the dress, and come on out.”

I was looking at the floor, taking in the white lacy bra and the high-waisted panties she threw over. There was no way my ass would fit all the way in those panties but Crystal banged on my dressing room door again and I started stripping. I put on all the pieces one-by-one, jumping myself into the lacy dress as it cascaded down my body. I knew I would look ridiculous and have to immediately put everything back, but the moment I turned around and looked in the mirror, I couldn’t help but stare.

I’d never seen my body look that way before. The way the dress hugged my curves was so provocative and striking. My eyes trailed over my chest, round and high in the bra, as the dress trickled down the dip of my waist, clinging to me. The high-waisted panties rounded over the curves of my ass before the dress continued spilling down my thighs. I had to take a second and digest everything before I could move, but the moment I did, I heard Crystal’s voice.

“I take it from the speechlessness that it looks good?” she asked.

“Surprisingly… it doesn’t suck,” I said.

“Good. I’m paying for it. Get it off, and get it out here to the register. I know what I’m wearing to the party.”

“Please don’t tell me it’s that red, vinyl thing,” I said as I started undressing.

“Nope, I’ve got something much better,” she said.

“What?” I asked as I tossed the clothes over to her.

“An all-black leather dress, with a glossy, dominatrix feel.”

If I’d had anything in my mouth, I would have spat it out all over the wall of the dressing room.

By the time I got dressed and came back out, Crystal was holding up our bags. She was grinning at me with a sly look on her face, like she’d just gotten away with some master plan she had been concocting.

Now that I had the clothing, I didn’t feel right backing out of the party.

“All we need to do is find ourselves some masks,” she said. “Let’s go.”

“Where are we headed?” I asked.

“You’ll see.”

She threw the bags in the car, and we made our way across town. I looked out at all the unassuming people while Crystal talked my ear off, but I wasn’t paying any attention. I had no idea what I was getting myself into tonight and part of me still wished I could back out.

But part of me was also entranced with how I looked in that dress.

“We’re here!” she exclaimed.

I found myself being tugged out of the car and dragged into another store. The walls were lined with masks of every shape, size, and color. I gawked at the sheer amount of glitter that lined the floors of the shop, knowing I’d have to take many hot showers in order to rid my body of it all. Crystal was already trying on black and red masks to go with her outfit, but there was one that caught my eye over at the far end of the store.

A white lacy mask that matched my outfit perfectly.

I walked over and plucked it off the wall before I set it against my face. It covered forehead, eyes, and nose, and left my cheekbones, mouth, and jawline exposed. I loved the way the glitter accents made my green eyes shine, and the way it contrasted my jet-black hair made it look like I had blue highlights.

Crystal plucked it from my hand while I was admiring myself and threw it at the cashier.

“We’ll take this one, too,” she said.

“You know this party’s probably gonna keep me a virgin for the rest of my life, right?” I asked.

“Oh, I promise you it won’t.”

“I’ll be sexually harassed by some stranger, triggering a traumatic cascade of events that’ll shy me away from sex forever,” I said.

“Fuck’s sake, you sure are dramatic,” she said, grinning.

“I’m serious, Crystal. I have no idea what I’m walking into. I’m gonna be the awkward girl of the group. The outcast. The weird one.”

“When have you ever not been weird?” she asked, giggling.

“Isn’t the point of a masquerade party to not be yourself?” I asked.

“Look. You’re about to walk into a world where even the most innocent of virgins have fully devoted themselves to the cause. Trust me. It’ll be a fun and new experience. And if you don’t like it, we’ll leave. I promise.”

“Don’t you find it at least a little funny?” I asked. “That some inexperienced virgin is about to walk into a BDSM club?”

“Maybe a little funny,” she said, smiling. “But we gotta hurry up and get back.”

“Why?” I asked. “What’s going on tonight?”

“Seriously? Why the hell did you think I dragged you out shopping?”

“The party’s tonight, Crystal?”

“Come on,” she said as she held out her hand. “Time to go find you a new memory to take home.”

Boy, was that an understatement.