The doomsday letter arrived the next day. I found it placed ominously on the bar as soon as I walked into our apartment. Jillian was on the couch, pretending to be absorbed in a psych book. There was no way she was actually reading. Not after seeing the envelope with Student Ethics Committee stamped on it. I picked it up, but my fingers trembled too much for me to open it. Instead I fanned myself with it, leaning back against the counter.

“So I got a letter from the SEC.” I shrugged as though acting casual could dispel the tension in the air.

“I saw.” Jillian slammed her book shut and flashed me a hopeful smile. “Are you going to sit on the board again?”

If only that were a possibility. I loved my best friend for searching for hope in a moment like this. Usually that was my job, but I needed her to provide that service now.

“I wish,” I said in a flat voice, and the fake smile fell off her face. “Nope. This year I thought ‘why sit on the board? They need a challenge. What the hell? Maybe I should have an affair with a teacher, almost get pregnant, and be called up in front of the board.’”

“Interesting plan,” she said in a weak voice. She didn’t know what to say, and I didn’t blame her. Growing up with her mother meant she often had a hard time being comforting, even though she tried to be. But what was she supposed to say?

“And it worked!” I continued in mock enthusiasm, waving the letter.

“Maybe you should open it.”

That was the last thing I wanted to do, but with the proof of Roman’s and mys indiscretion staring me in the face, indignation swelled in me. I was mad at Brett for tattling like we were still in elementary school, and I was mad at Cassie for not stopping me in Mexico, and I was mad at both my best friends for not intervening when I’d clearly lost my mind—and I was livid with Roman for the roller coaster ride he’d abandoned me on halfway through. But mostly, I was angry at myself for being stupid. I’d let Roman distract me from school and my career. I’d left for Mexico knowing exactly what I’d wanted. I’d been so sure when I turned down Brett’s proposal and ran away to refocus on my life. How had I wound up here? The answer was stupidity—the kind that came from listening to my hormones instead of my head. Buoyed by my anger, I ripped open the envelope and skimmed the letter.

“What does it say?” she asked.

“Blah. Blah. Blah. An ethical complaint has been made against you,” I said, adding, “by your douchebag ex-boyfriend. A hearing has been scheduled to determine if disciplinary action should be administered. Due to the serious nature of the claim”—I rolled my eyes—”the committee will also review your place within Olympic State University.”

“What does that mean?”

“It means”—I looked up at her—“they want to kick me out of school.”

Jillian jumped up, dropping her decoy textbook. “They can’t do that!”

“I’m pretty sure they can.” For some reason reading the letter had calmed me, allowing rational Jess to take over. I’d sat on a number of cases involving expulsion. Even when it was considered, hardly any of them ever got that far. In fact, we’d only recommended it in the case of a violent assault between roommates. But we’d never presided over a faculty-student romance case before. It was new territory.

“You need to call Lil,” she said.

“I’m not calling my sister.”

“She’s a lawyer.”

“You don’t bring a lawyer to an SEC hearing,” I said wearily.

“Is it against the rules?” she asked.

“For fuck’s sake, Jills, this isn’t an episode of Law & Order. It’s not even an episode of Judge Judy.” There was no way I was calling Lil in on this one. The more I considered it, the more I knew the committee might recommend disciplinary action or level a fine for poor student conduct, but they wouldn’t kick me out, especially if Roman hadn’t been fired.

“I’ll go with you then.” She lunged for the paper, but I held back the letter so she couldn’t see the hearing date. She and Cassie had been party to my humiliation for far too long. I’d gotten myself into this mess, and I would face the consequences.

“I’m fine. I still have friends on the committee. I bet they’ll laugh it off.” That was a lie. The majority of the committee changed annually to ensure no one went mad with power, as the faculty advisor had informed us. I would be on my own for this.

“Okay.” She sunk back onto the couch, but her eyes narrowed a bit. She didn’t believe me.

“I need to grab a shower before my study group later,” I said, escaping to my room. I didn’t have a study group tonight. All I really wanted was to be alone so I could handle this.

When I emerged later to find Jillian gone and a note on the counter.

Meeting at Garrett’s at 9 for mandatory girls night. No questions asked. No excuses.

Part of me wanted to rip up the note or leave it on the counter and pretend I’d never seen it, but a girls night was too tempting. Along with a lot of utterly ridiculous rules we’d established freshman year, one of the ones that stuck was the no-questions-asked girls’ night. We’d let go of other less-than-genius rules—even Jillian had eventually let go of our boycatching tradition—but we’d kept girls night. It didn’t matter what was going on in our lives, those nights were reserved for being together and being silly. It was exactly what I needed, because otherwise I’d be in my room obsessing over my fate. All I had to do was cancel an imaginary study group and find a way to kill the next three hours.

It was the midweek lull at Garrett’s. A handful of guys were sharing a drink at the bar, but even the dinner crowd had come and gone. No doubt Cassie would have already sweet-talked Frank into letting us use the “weekend-only” karaoke machine. It wouldn’t be the first time. I was going to need several drinks first.

My eyes swept the bar, but the girls weren’t here yet. It was just like them to set up a mandatory girls’ night and then be late to it. But as I plopped onto a stool to wait, the door swung open and Lillian stepped inside.

I’d drafted a pissed-off text to Jillian before my sister even spotted me. This was betrayal worthy of execution in my book, which meant it was a good thing she hadn’t bothered to bring her here herself. Jillian needed a butt-the-fuck-out intervention.

Lil caught sight of me and waved. There were lines under her eyes and I noted the wrinkles in her suit as she approached. Not only had my sister been dragged into this, she’d been busy from the looks of it.

“Working late?” I asked. The question came out sounding as lame as I felt. My big sister had been called in to save me. Could things get any more humiliating?

“I stayed at the office last night. Big case coming up.”

Guilt overtook anger as I took in how disheveled she looked. Lil already worked around the clock and now she had to come all the way out to Olympic Falls. I wasn’t simply screwing up my life. I was wrecking hers.

“So Jillian called you,” I guessed as I led her over to a table.

“No,” she said. “You sent me a text message saying you had an emergency.”

“That’s funny I don’t remember doing that.” I gritted my teeth as I spoke, making a mental note to buy some sort of waterproof case for my phone. From now on I would have to take it into the shower with me.

“You said you needed my legal help,” Lil prompted. “What’s wrong, Jess?”

Jillian had intentionally made sure I couldn’t back out from telling my sister what was going on. I considered lying to her about a nonexistent speeding ticket, but Lil knew my driving record was more spotless than Snow White’s. Plus, I didn’t have a ticket to fix. I was still searching for an excuse when she reached out and grabbed my hand.

“I love you, kid. No matter what. I know it was Jillian who sent the message, but I hope you’ll tell me what’s going on.”

I crumbled, the logic holding me together cracking, and the story spilled out of me. All of it. Lil managed to order us two drinks without interrupting me. She nodded in the right places, and when I got to the pregnancy scare, the muscles in her jaw tensed, but she didn’t say anything. She didn’t have to. My version of events included plenty of self-flagellation on its own.

“First of all, you aren’t stupid and you aren’t an idiot,” she said when I finished. She drew a steadying breath. “How old is this professor?”

“Twenty-six! He’s not even a professor. He just finished his doctorate last week.” My voice broke as I remembered my plan to jump him in his regalia. I’d planned to go to his graduation. I had wanted to share that with him. How had things fallen apart so quickly?

“So mostly this is all bad timing and not an abuse of power.” She was already starting to form her argument. I could see it in her eyes as she thought about how she would spin this case.

“I don’t need you to do anything about this.”

“Like hell,” she said. “I will be at that SEC hearing. He might be an instructor, but if he was a graduate student, then this is clearly a case of a student relationship. You weren’t in his class, right?”

I swallowed hard and shook my head. “Not this semester.”

“And you didn’t sleep with him while you were in his class, did you?”

“No.” I half-expected a spotlight to flip on overhead as she interrogated me. Jillian was always telling me I had a doctor mode. My sister had a lawyer mode. Still, I was comforted by her argument that Roman and I were in a purely student relationship. She was right after all. I’d known that until Brett start messing with me. Hearing my incredibly smart sister say it made it finally sink in. The trick would be to get other people to see it that way.

“If this was a real case, I wouldn't even take it to court. I'd have had the charges dismissed before the ink dried on that letter.” Lil took a swig of her beer and grimaced. “Nothing like the good old university ethics system.”

“Weren't you on the Ethics Committee at Yale?”

“Sure.” She shrugged like I’d asked her if she had wrote an essay in college. “You had to be in law school. It was pretty much a requirement, but I thought it was stupid then. We have an actual court system for a reason.” Something about seeing Lil's hackles up made me smile, but she pointed an accusatory finger at me. “You might not have done anything to get you kicked out of school, kid, but that doesn't mean you were smart.”

I wished I could hide under the table. I'd opened up to her like a book, which meant she knew all the drama I'd been through with Roman.

“There’s something about your story that I’d like you to clarify. What did you mean by 'I thought I was pregnant?’” she asked.

Right now the ability to turn invisible seemed like the greatest super power in the world. Unfortunately, I didn't possess the skill, so I had to answer her. “My period was late. I'd been having sex so I assumed.”

“Did you take a test?”

“No, I'm pre-med but that didn't occur to me. I was planning on waiting to see if a baby fell out.” I stole the line from Jillian. But Lillian wasn’t going to let me hide behind sarcasm. We both knew that mistake wouldn’t have been so easy to handle.

“Don't be a jerk,” she said. “Getting into a relationship with a grad student might not warrant getting kicked out, but how did you plan on staying in school if you got knocked up?”

“We would have figured it out.” Despite everything that had happened, I knew that much. It wouldn’t have been easy, but it wouldn’t have been apocalyptic. Somehow the prospect of having a baby was less frightening than expulsion. I didn’t know what to make of the realization.

“We, huh? And this Roman would have stuck around?”

“Yes.”

“I'm glad you're so sure of this. I've seen plenty of marriages end after an unplanned pregnancy, not to mention relationships.” She eyed me over the rim of her pint glass. Part of her job was to sense when someone was lying.

“There's something you should know,” I said, gathering up my courage. I sat up straighter in my chair and met my sister's eyes. “I really care about him. Things are screwed up right now. We'll probably never fix things between us, but this wasn't just some crazy fling.”

“I figured,” she said.

I stared at her, unsure how to respond.

“You've got a good head on your shoulders, kid. Other than needing a serious lesson in birth control, I trust your decisions. You aren't the type to jump into bed with a random guy.”

“It was more of a fall into bed with him,” I said weakly.

“And I bet you had a damn good reason for doing it.”

I thought about Roman rescuing Cassie from the angry bodega owner and how he chased down the man at the airport. Those memories made him a hero, but other moments flashed through my head. Roman agreeing to let Jillian take a final last fall when she didn't deserve a second chance, and when he taught me how to swim. I thought of jalapeños and Aba's dinner table. I wasn't entirely sure when I'd fallen for Roman, because love colored the memory of every moment I had spent with him. But I knew then I wouldn’t have changed a moment of it. Not to protect myself.

“I take it that you aren’t together right now,” she said delicately.

My mouth went dry like I’d shoved cotton balls in it. I could only shake my head. She didn’t push me to talk about it. Instead she ordered us another round and we sat in silence until the ache in my heart faded into the background.

“I need to get back to Seattle. Early court appearance.” She dug through her purse to retrieve her wallet. “But I will be here next Wednesday.”

“I can’t believe they scheduled it for finals week.” I would be mostly done with them by then. It would be too cruel if I was expelled after I’d taken all my tests.

“You aren’t going to be expelled,” she said as if she could read my mind.

At the door, I realized I had one more question for her. “How did you know Jills sent the message?”

“There were two emojis,” she said, without skipping a beat. “No Stone has time for an emoji in a text message.”