JENN
I was in the bathroom, the third time in three consecutive days I had been sick, wondering what was wrong with me and annoyed by the timing of my nausea. I was just about to tell Tyler that I wanted him so badly and wanted to see if he was open to us making our relationship public. I kind of thought he would be open to that since Stacey was just a distraction he didn’t really care too much about. I knew Tyler would get over Stacey as quickly as he got into her. It had taken me all night to come up with the best way to tell him what we could do to make things easier.
Initially, I was going to tell him that maybe we should slow down on fucking so we wouldn’t get into trouble; then I realized it wasn’t what I really wanted. I needed him, and if I gave him up that easily, I wasn’t really fighting for what I wanted. So I decided to ask him if he wanted to be my official boyfriend. If he didn’t want to, I could laugh it off as a joke and go to plan B, which was discontinuing the fucking completely. But I was cooped up in the bathroom sick, and I didn’t know if I’d ever have the courage to finish my statement.
“Jenn, you okay?”
“Yes,” I said, my voice barely a whisper, and then I said a tad bit louder, “Yes”
“Okay, I’ll be right here if you need anything.”
“Sure,” I said as I rinsed my mouth one more time and left the bathroom. Like he had said, he was right outside, and when I stepped out, he offered me a mint.
“This should help calm your belly.” I nodded and gratefully took the mint. “So, do you think you should see a doctor? You could be sick.”
“I could be sick, except I’m not sure what I’ve eaten that could have made me this sick most of the week.”
“You ate me?” he said, trying to crack a joke, but his words caused an alarm to go off in my head.
“Shit!”
“Shit what?” he said.
“I did eat you,” I said.
“You mean my cock is making you sick?” he grinned.
“No, I mean your cock could have made me pregnant.”
“Damn!” he said, his eyes wide.
“Yes, hot damn,” I said.
“But your period? Don’t you know when you’re safe?” he asked.
“I do, but I haven’t done a good job of keeping track. It’s not like I was sexually active before you,” I said, annoyance creeping into my voice. I hadn’t even confirmed if I was pregnant or not and my hormones were going crazy.
“So, should we do some sort of pregnancy test?” he asked, looking at me, his deep brown eyes unable to hide the uncertainty in them.
I was going to start preaching about how we should have been more careful and how he should have been more careful since he was the older of us, but I decided against it. We were already panicking. No need to make things worse.
“Yes, that would be good,” I said, getting up and putting on my shoes. “Coming to the pharmacy with me?”
We quickly dressed and drove to the nearby pharmacy. I picked up three different pregnancy tests, each one designed to tell us the results of the test in a different way. I couldn’t look the cashier in the eye as she rang up the tests, especially since there were all sizes and shapes of condoms next to the pregnancy tests. The irony. Nonetheless, Tyler grabbed a pack of extra-large condoms, and I smiled inwardly when the cashier looked at us, eyebrows raised. I could tell she was wondering how big he could possibly be, or maybe she was wondering why we were buying three pregnancy tests and a pack of extra-large condoms at the same time. I looked at Tyler and winked at him. He smiled at me, and I knew we would figure things out one way or the other.
When we returned home, I ran to the bathroom, eager to pee on the pregnancy sticks. One part of me wanted the results to be negative so I could move on with my life. A small part of me wondered what would happen if it were positive. Would Tyler and I have to set up a home together? Yet another part of me didn’t want to know yet what the results were. That part won; I decided against trying the tests immediately. I walked back into the living room where Tyler was impatiently waiting for me. He looked at me expectantly.
“I changed my mind about doing it now. I think I’ll wait until the morning. The first morning pee is more accurate,” I said, knowing that even though that was true, it was highly unlikely that all three tests would give me an inaccurate test. I was dreading knowing the truth, as I knew it would change a million things.
“Do you think you can wait that long?” he asked.
“I don’t know.”
“Why don’t we just get it done so we can get it over with?” he suggested.
He had a point. If I was pregnant, it would not change just because I waited overnight. “I really should,” I mumbled, looking at him and tearing open the test, my hands shaking.
“Can I watch you do it?” he asked, coming close to me and holding me in his arms. He wanted to support me.
“If you insist,” I said and kissed him on the lips. “I would appreciate it if you do.”
“You know, before you take the test, can we talk a little bit?” he said as he took the test away from me and put it on the table beside us. “Come sit with me.” We sat down on the sofa. “Earlier, you were about to tell me how we should do the right thing, but you stopped because you had to use the bathroom.”
“Yes,” I said. I had run out in the middle of a sentence to throw up.
“Can we finish that conversation so the results of the test don’t affect what we really think we should do?” he asked.
I nodded. It was his right to know how I felt about us, and I was glad he had brought it up. “Well, I wanted to let you know that I care so much more about you than as just a brother.”
He nodded and cut me off. “Me too, Jenn, me too. And I can imagine how hard this must be for you.”
“So, I wanted to ask you if we could stop fucking in secret and make our relationship open.”
“What do you mean?”
I realized that he might not have been expecting me to ask him indirectly to be my boyfriend and to let the whole world know. Maybe I was asking for too much. “If you don’t want to, that’s okay. It’s just that I wish there was a way we could truly be together.”
He was silent for a while, and fear settled in my stomach.
“I guess I shouldn’t have said this. Let me take the test and we’ll figure out what to do,” I said, getting up and trying to swallow my pride. I had just bared my soul to this man, and he hadn’t spoken. Maybe he was truly with Stacey and what I was asking didn’t make sense.
“You’re okay with Mom and Dad and all our friends knowing about us?” His question caught me by surprise.
“Yes, but I understand how that might be difficult for you.”
“It’s not about me, it’s about you. I worry if you will be okay with everyone knowing about us. Jenn, since the very first day our parents introduced us, I’ve had a crush on you. I wanted you so bad, and I prayed every night that I would be the one to take your virginity. I know I teased you often about it. It was a way to check that I was still in the running.”
“That’s funny,” I said, laughing. “I didn’t know there was a line for my virginity.”
“You would be surprised by how many men would jump at the chance to kiss you. Fucking you is like a dream come true for me, and I can tell you, probably every man you meet.”
“You’re being dramatic,” I said, smiling.
“Ask Jason if he wants a piece of your pussy. Or maybe he already got it?” His voice dropped to a whisper as if he was afraid if he was too loud, I might confirm his worst fears.
“No, you know it’s only for you.”
“Jenn, what I’m saying is that I really like you. Maybe I love you more than just a sister, and there is nothing more I want out of life than to have a chance to be with you, without any thought of what people think.”
“And what if I’m pregnant? Would you change your mind?”
Tyler looked at me, pulled me closer to him, and planted a kiss on my lips before continuing. “If you are pregnant, Jenn, yeah, it may be a little premature for us, realistically, but I’d love nothing else than to raise a child with you and build a family together. We’re young and all that, but I know we can make anything work.”
I smiled at him, speechless. I had always thought of Tyler as a shallow person, and even though he was super-smart, I never thought he’d make a speech about wanting a family anytime soon. But he seemed so sincere there was no doubt in my mind that if I were indeed pregnant, Tyler would take care of me and our child.
“So, what do you say? Is this something you want as well? Be with me for as long as forever?”
I started giggling. “Forever is too long.”
“Well, forever is all I’m willing to take with you, Jenn. The thought of another man touching you is too much to bear. The fact that you even went out with Jason almost gave me a heart attack.”
“What about Stacey? You’ve been fucking her all winter.” Tyler started laughing. “What’s so funny?”
“I’ve actually never slept with her, and by the way, she’s on to us.”
“Well, I guess you can confirm her worst fears,” I said happily, pleasantly surprised that Tyler hadn’t slept with Stacey.
“I guess.”
“So how come you never slept with her?”
“She’s not you, Jenn. Since the first day I met you, I knew I’d end up with you one way or the other, and this winter when I picked you up at the airport and saw how you’d turned into the sexiest woman I’ve ever met, there was no turning back for me.”
“Didn’t think you noticed me that much.”
“Oh trust me, you’d think I’m a stalker if you knew how much I’d noticed you.”
“So, who’s going to tell Mom and Dad our good news?” I asked.
“Well, let’s take the test and see how much news to share with them. I don’t know how thrilled your dad will be to know that he’s about to be a grandpa.”
“I can tell you he won’t like it too much,” I said.