***
1
***
“Liv. We need to talk,” he murmured. Tyler, my boyfriend of two years, had just walked in from his evening classes. His demeanor told me something was wrong, or rather, whatever he wanted to say, I wouldn’t want to hear.
“Are you okay?” I asked, kissing him on the lips. He reluctantly accepted this kiss, but our lips barely touched.
He led me to the only sofa in the college apartment we shared. I waited in silence; he seemed to be struggling with what he wanted to discuss. I wasn’t sure what was going on, but it didn’t look like it was going to be anything positive. Nonetheless, I sat, hopeful that he had finally come to his senses and was going to turn it around. He knew that I wanted him to step it up and be a better boyfriend, but I also geared myself for a disappointment.
“You’re a beautiful person,” he started.
Now, when your boyfriend, who hasn’t attended to your needs during the relationship, begins a discussion by telling you you’re beautiful, he’s either drunk, cheating on you, or about to ask for some time apart. Tyler wasn’t drunk, though he smelled like cheap alcohol he might have purchased while eating lunch at some sleazy diner. Might he be cheating on me? That would explain our nothing-to-write-home-about sex life. He could possibly need some time apart, which wouldn’t be totally unexpected, given how he had neglected our relationship for weeks. I waited for the other shoe to drop.
“Liv, I don’t really know how to say this.”
“Just say it, Tyler.”
“You know we’ve been drifting apart for a while.”
“Please, just say it.” I sank into the sofa sullenly.
“I’m moving out.” His voice was low but firm.
“You’re what?”
“I need to move out.”
I sank deeper into the sofa, certain my butt cheeks would leave an indelible mark on the leather.
“And you’re choosing today of all days to tell me?” I snapped, my voice raised. I felt so stupid. I had spent all day planning a day that would be special, as it marked two years of dating. We had met during freshman orientation exactly two years ago and had started dating soon after. We had moved in together our sophomore year.
I was wearing lingerie I could hardly afford and had made dinner reservations at an upscale restaurant downtown. I knew he had forgotten our special day. “Do you even know what today is?” I challenged him but didn’t let him get a word in. “It’s our fucking two year anniversary.
“Oh, shit. I forgot, Liv. I’m so sorry.”
“I’m not surprised,” I said.
“Liv, I really am so sorry. There’s been a lot going on,” he said rushing his words as if I cared for an explanation. “I just need some time and space.”
Months ago, my heart would have pounded in confusion, annoyance, disappointment, and whatever other emotions a scorned woman might have. When I noticed our relationship becoming stale a few months ago, I had ached for our passion to be rekindled and burn even half as much as it had in the first few weeks we’d been together. Yet, at this point in the game, I knew he was long gone, and I was ready to oblige him with whatever he wanted. Maybe it was for the best, as I had never truly loved him the way I always believed I could love someone.
“What else do I need to know?” I asked, very certain there must be more to his story. Tyler wasn’t one to make rash decisions.
“I’m seeing someone else,” he said without hesitation.
There. He said it. He was cheating on me. I had somehow felt it, but now I finally had confirmation. Tyler could sometimes be honest to the point of his own detriment. It was a feature that had endeared him to me so quickly after we’d met at orientation and began our torrid love affair, but now, his honesty would bite him in the ass.
“You’re cheating on me?” I whispered. I was surprised by how calm and unperturbed I was. Normally I would have been absolutely furious, confused, and upset. But I was acting like it didn’t hurt one bit.
“I am so sorry, Liv. It’s just that we’ve grown apart. I’m not….no longer…”
“No longer attracted to me?” I completed his sentence.
“Something like that. Yes,” he admitted.
His words had come at me like a dagger. I knew our relationship was shit, but common decency should have him made choose softer words to convey that emotion. I was surprised and speechless, and he realized how hurtful his words sounded.
“I mean, not like that. It’s not you, it’s me,” he said, trying to redeem himself.
I was silent.
“I mean, you’re pretty and attractive and…”
“But not to you, right, Tyler? And that’s okay. But for you to stand here and tell me how unattractive I am after telling me you’re moving out, as well as that you’ve been cheating on me? That’s downright hurtful. I deserve better.”
“You’re attractive, Liv. It’s just that… I mean …”
“Spare me the details,” I said in a raised voice.
“I’m sorry, Liv. I didn’t mean for it to come out like this.”
“Get away from me, Tyler.”
“Liv. Please, it doesn’t have to end this way.”
“I fucking said get the hell away from me,” I screamed as I walked away to the bedroom.
I lay on the bed, doors locked, but the tears I had expected refused to flow. What was the point? Tyler wasn’t worth it. Crying for him would make me a bigger fool than I already was. A lying, cheating bastard was not worth any woman’s tears…at least not mine. I needed to focus and keep moving forward. I needed to move out of the apartment as soon as possible before I did something I would regret. I picked up my cell phone and dialed a number that I had been able to rely on for the past five years. I called my stepbrother, Ryan.
“Ryan. Thank goodness you answered. Can you come get me?” I tried to keep my voice as calm as possible. “Tyler and I just broke up.”
Ryan’s dad had married my mom four years ago. Both had been through nasty divorces, so it was refreshing to see them moving forward together. But they weren’t the only ones with chemistry; the first time I’d met Ryan at a dinner with our parents, I knew he would end up being the one to deflower me. I was so attracted to him - it had been only a matter of time.
I still remember the night I met him. Dressed in jeans and a tight, white t-shirt, he had an aura about him that emanated sex and masculinity. His tattoos begged me to trace them with my fingers, and his brown eyes soaked up every inch of my body. It took all I had in me to restrain myself from reaching across the table that first day to touch him. As we got older, the attraction grew stronger until we were both practically ogling each other every opportunity we got. And finally, during the summer before college when our parents were away on a long vacation, the inevitable happened - our years of harmful flirtation turned into a long night of mind-blowing sex. We had been practical in realizing we couldn’t go too far with our relationship, even though we truly cared for each other. The simple fact that we were stepsiblings meant that we could only admire each other from afar. There was an unspoken boundary we could never cross again.
After our little indiscretion, we agreed to stay away from each other as much as possible, even choosing not to share an apartment despite the close proximity of our colleges. We had agreed to date other people to curb our attraction for each other. I met Tyler and talked myself into dating him. Ryan had started dating Stacey, a sorority girl I didn’t care for, and, incidentally, they moved in together just a few miles away from me. Talk about torture!
As I waited impatiently for my stepbrother to pick me up, I started parking the few belongings I had. Staying with Ryan and Stacey was going to require a lot of self-restraint and maturity, but I had no other options for accommodations late at night. Our parents lived over a hundred miles away and driving home was not feasible. I could have gone to a hotel, but I didn’t feel like being alone, not that I could afford a hotel room anyways. School was almost over for the semester and getting a new apartment didn’t make a lot of financial sense. I just had to figure out how to endure Stacey while bottling up my emotions for Ryan.
When the doorbell rang, I peeked out of the bedroom door. Tyler was gone. I stepped out of the room, opened the front door, and fell into Ryan’s arms.
“You okay, sis?” he asked, holding me tight.
“Yes,” I said, hugging him back. All the pent up feelings of lust for him began to surface.
“What happened?” he asked after we broke our embrace.
“He’s seeing someone else,” I said.
“Fuck! Where is he?” Ryan asked, looking around the apartment as if to find Tyler.
“It’s okay. One of us had to break it off eventually. We weren’t really a good fit.”
“Liv, I’m so sorry about this,” he said, pulling me close to hug me again.
I hugged him so tight I could hear his heart beating. “I wish I could stay here all day,” I mumbled to him.
“You have to get out of here,” he said, breaking the embrace after a few seconds, but not before I felt a huge bulge in his pants.
I looked at his face and he looked away, obviously embarrassed at his body’s reaction to me. “Yes. Let’s go,” I said. “My stuff is over there.”
We spent the next hour hauling my stuff to Ryan’s car. Once we finished, we set off for his apartment.
“So, how’s Stacey?” I asked as I settled into the car.
“Good,” he replied a little nonchalantly.
I looked at him suspiciously. After five years of being family, I knew Ryan well, but I let it drop.
“I’m glad you guys are still together, even though I am a bit surprised,” I said. I then wished I had kept my mouth shut. I had always promised myself I would never interfere in his relationships. After we had promised to keep our hands off each other, I had vowed to stay away from him and to know nothing about his relationships. That way, it hurt less to imagine him in someone else’s arms.
“What do you mean?” he asked, momentarily taking his eyes off the road and looking at me. Our eyes locked.
“Sorry. I didn’t mean to interfere,” I murmured, looking away and focusing on the road.
“No, but I want to know why you said that.”
“Well, you know why,” I said, wishing so hard that I had shut my mouth.
“Is it because of us?” he asked, his voice pained.
“Somewhat. I just never thought she was your sort of person,” I blurted. “Sorry.”
“No, it’s okay. You’re probably right,” he said. “She’s not you. No one is, Liv.”
I looked at him and noticed his hands clenching the steering wheel like he was trying to control his emotions or his words. I had said enough for the evening. Discussing our relationship had always been difficult, raw, and uncomfortable.
“Right,” I said for lack of anything else to say.
“We’re almost there,” he announced as we turned onto his street, like I didn’t know where he lived. If only he knew how many times I had driven by his place without stopping. I couldn’t bear seeing Stacey’s stuff where my stuff should have been.
“Great,” I said. I now had to deal with Stacey and her attitude about the situation. Even worse, I was stuck watching them together every day, and if I knew Stacey, she would try to mark her territory by being overly expressive with her emotions. It was going to be a terrible few weeks for me.
“Liv,” he said, turning to me. “Whatever happens, I’m glad you called me to come get you. And you can stay as long as you need to.”
“I wouldn’t want to impose on you guys. I’ll stay maybe a few days until I can get another apartment. It’s easier to live on my campus than yours.”
“I’ll drive you to pick up your car later,” he said. “And you would never be an imposition on me. A distraction, yes, but an imposition, never.”
I nodded, words failing me at the moment. I needed to calm my emotions. I’d need to survive several days of watching the only man I truly wanted playing house with another girl right in front of me. How would I survive hearing them having sex at night? I couldn’t bear it.
“Ryan, maybe this isn’t such a good idea after all. I can go back to my apartment and kick Tyler out instead,” I said.
“Nonsense. Let’s go,” he said as he opened his door. “We’ve got to get your things out of the car.”
I got out of the car reluctantly, and together we pulled most of my things out of the trunk of the car. As I waited for him to open the door, my heart thumped wildly in my chest as I imagined Stacey running out and hugging him…kissing him right in front of me. But when he opened the door, there was no Stacey.
“Where’s Stacey?” I asked peeking in before stepping into the apartment.
“She’s not here.”
“Why? She out?”
“No, she doesn’t live here anymore. She needed a break.”
“Huh?”
“We’re taking a break,” he said as he dropped my stuff in the corner of the living room. I stood in the same spot, speechless. “Are you going to stand there all night?” he asked, smiling.
“Oh, no,” I said walking over and dumping what I was carrying next to the pile he had started. “What happened?” I asked.
“It just wasn’t working out,” he said. “I’ll go back to the car and get the rest of your stuff. Make yourself at home, ok?”
Before I could respond, he had gone back out to the car. This was bad, very bad. There was no way I could survive more than a few hours in that apartment without having sex with Ryan. Simply watching him lift my things out of the car had tugged at my emotions, reminding me that I had never stopped wanting him. Though we had been apart for over two years, I felt like we had never taken a break. This was not going to work out.
Suddenly, I wished Stacey really was there as a buffer between us. I knew our attraction to each other was too hard to ignore, especially now that we were older and our parents were so far away.
Ryan returned a few minutes later, carrying more of my meager personal belongings. I had a good chance to look at him. He was still as athletic as he had always been. His fitted shirt outlined his entire torso, which I had always admired the few times he’d walked around shirtless when we had lived at home. I imagined that a few years and more gym time could only have made his body more beautiful. I was treading on dangerous ground, but Ryan didn’t seem to notice my discomfort. When he brought in the last of my things, I asked to take a shower.
“I’ll start dinner,” he said.
“Sure,” I said.
I found the bathroom, and soon I was soaking in the tub, thinking of my crazy day. From my cheating boyfriend to being alone in a house with the only man I couldn’t resist, it had been quite a day. Ryan was my first love, and the first man I had slept with. I knew there was something sentimental about the feelings one had for their first sex partner, but this was beyond sentiment; I was seriously attracted to Ryan. Had we not been stepsiblings, he would have been the only man I’d ever want to be with.
As I lay there, I remembered the first time we had sex. It was a few days after my eighteenth birthday, and we had been playing poker alone at home. Suddenly, our game turned into strip poker, and before I knew what was going on, Ryan was down to his underwear. It went downhill from there, as I was soon wearing only my panties. As we lost the last pieces of our clothing, we ended up in each other’s arms. It didn’t take a lot of thinking on our part to do what came naturally. As Ryan’s cock warmed my pussy that night, I knew I’d never truly belong to another man.
But we’d had a reality check the next morning and decided it was best to keep our little tryst a secret. We agreed to move on as if nothing had happened. Initially, it seemed like a good plan until I realized it was easier said than done, but I had to respect our agreement. So for the past two years, I’d lived in misery, hanging out with other men, trying unsuccessfully to fill the void left by Ryan. But here he was…only a few steps away from me.
I sighed and let my fingers travel down my nipples and towards my stomach. They lingered on my stomach for a moment before slowly making their way to my pussy, pausing, and moving on to my delicate pussy lips. They circled around my sex, carefully avoiding my pussy. I didn’t want to turn myself on so much that I’d want a cock, as I knew I really wanted Ryan’s cock to satisfy me.
I closed my eyes and imagined Ryan was in the tub with me, touching me. I imagined he’d kiss me on my lips and his mouth would explore my breasts, stopping at each of my nipples to suck them ever so gently. He’d lift me up and sit me on the tub while he put his head between my legs to find my warm spot. He would allow his tongue to wander a bit until he found my sweet spot. And when he was done getting me wet, he’d lift me up until my pussy was directly at his cock. He’d hold me tight and moan my name as I pushed down, engulfing all of him in one swoop.
A knock on the door interrupted me. It was Ryan. “Liv. You okay?”
I looked at the clock hanging on the wall. I had lost track of time and had been in the tub for over an hour.
“Yes, coming right out,” I said.
“Just checking,” he said from behind the closed door.
“Thanks,” I replied and looked around for a towel. I hadn’t brought any with me. “Ryan?”
“Yes?”
“Can I please get a towel?”
“Sure, hang on,” he said. After a few seconds of silence, he returned and knocked on the door.
“Come in,” I called as I scooted lower in the tub so my body wasn’t exposed. I didn’t want him thinking I was trying to seduce him.
“I’ll hang it on the door,” he said, opening the door slightly and hanging the towel over the door, much to my disappointment.
I wasn’t sure what I had been expecting, knowing the boundaries we had set for ourselves, but I had hoped he would come into the bathroom and we’d kiss and maybe one thing could lead to another.
“Thanks,” I called after him, getting out of the tub and grabbing the towel.
“Liv,” he said through the door; he suddenly pushed the door open. I was still naked and drying myself off, but when he opened the door, I scrambled to wrap the towel around my body unsuccessfully.
“Liv, I can’t do it,” he said, approaching me and taking the towel from me.
“Can’t do what?” I was confused.
“I can’t stay away from you. I’m so sorry.”
I knew what he was sorry for. He was breaking the pact we had made years ago about never being intimate again. But I wanted him as much as he wanted me, regardless of the pact.
He continued, “Do you think we should…..”
I interrupted him by pressing my lips against his, my naked body wet against his fully clothed body.
“What are you doing to me?” he moaned as our kiss deepened.
“Nothing you don’t want,” I giggled. It had been two long years since we had made love, and I had missed his kiss, his warmth, and his body so terribly. Two years of not touching him intimately was more than I could bear. I wanted his body naked next to mine. I wanted him now.
“Liv, are you sure?” He pulled away and looked into my eyes.
“More than anything, Ryan,” I replied.
“I’ve been meaning to do this since you arrived,” he said as he planted his lips on mine.
“I’ve been waiting,” I said, kissing him back. I would never be able to resist Ryan.
“I shouldn’t be doing this,” he murmured as he left butterfly kisses all over me. He led me out of the bathroom towards the living room.
He was right. We shouldn’t, but I was past caring. I had missed him so much that nothing was going to stop me from having sex with Ryan at that moment. I kissed him back with the same intensity and passion he was showing me.
“I’ve missed you so much,” he grunted, pushing me to a seating position on a nearby table. He spread my legs and stood between them. He let my towel drop and cupped both of my breasts with his hands, using his fingers to stroke my hardening nipples and squeezing my soft mounds. I spread my legs wider to allow him better access to me and feverishly unclasped his belt and pants, letting them pool to the floor.
“Oh, God,” I said as he drew closer to me, his cock hard and firm, begging for my attention.
I grabbed his cock with both hands and stroked him gently, cradling his balls and stroking the length of his thickness.
He took each nipple into his mouth, caressing, kissing, and moving his lips over the nipples until they could get no harder. I leaned back onto the table for support, and at the same time, I let go of his cock and placed my hands behind me. Just as if he knew that l wanted him to play with my nipples, he took them again into his mouth and sucked them, alternating a rhythm of suction with gentle tugging and pulling. My legs involuntarily spread, almost like I was begging for his cock to fuck me.
“So wet,” he moaned as he gently touched my pussy, massaging it and spreading my juice around my warmth. His thumb flicked my clit slightly, making me shiver; he started stroking my clit gently in an upward-downward motion.
“Faster,” I commanded, placing one hand over his.
He stroked me a little harder and faster, turning me on more and more by the second. I moaned as I began to lose all sense of control. I was reaching the point where I couldn’t take any more of his teasing; I wanted to give back. I sat up again and tried to cradle his cock in my palms.
“No, relax,” he told me, pushing me gently into the semi-horizontal position, my elbows supporting my body, my pussy arching towards him, beckoning to do whatever he pleased with me. So he did.
He dropped to his knees and I closed my eyes in anticipation of his tongue. I didn’t have to wait long. His tongue flicked my clit, causing yet another pleasant shiver to run down the entire length of my body. I grunted and spread my legs further apart; I felt his tongue digging deeper into me - in and out like a pro, sending sensations spiraling through my body. I couldn’t control it anymore; I grabbed him tight as I shuddered, plunging into a wild explosion. He held me steady, allowing me to ride the waves of my release. When my orgasm subsided, he stood up, cock still erect, and kissed me on the lips.
“My turn,” I said, climbing off the desk and pushing him down toward it. I spread his legs apart, got on my knees, and took his cock into my mouth. I relaxed my throat and let his shaft glide in and out of my mouth, in a fucking motion, and with each thrust, I let him go deeper into me towards the back of my throat. He smelled and tasted good. The thought of his cock inside me made me moan. He had his hands on my head, guiding me as I bobbed back and forth over him, taking him in slowly and releasing rhythmically. He was groaning softly, grinding his hips toward me, eyes closed. I liked seeing him like this. I smiled and swirled the tip of my tongue around the base of his cock and his moans deepened; at least I knew I was doing it right.
I took his cock back into my mouth and licked the head while applying pressure with my tongue. He seemed to like that a lot as he spread his legs even further and started thrusting faster into my mouth. I relaxed my throat again and let him fuck my mouth while I tightened my lips around his cock like a snug pussy. My hands stroked his shaft with the same tempo as my mouth, one hand cupping the base of his cock with a light squeeze.
As his thrusting deepened, my need for him grew stronger. I let go of my hold on his cock and began stroking my clit and fingering myself. One finger, two…soon I was almost fist-fucking myself. It felt so damn good. I sensed that Ryan was nearing his release as his moans increased, his thrusts quickened, and his hold on my head tightened.
“I have to fuck you now,” he said, pulling his cock out of my mouth rather quickly. “I can’t take any more teasing.”
I smiled. He knew I was ready for him. I kissed him on the lips. “How do you want me?”
He turned me around and placed my hands on the desk, making me bend over slightly, causing my ass to stick out. I loved the thought of him taking me from the behind.
“Come on,” I urged him. “Fuck me.”
He wasted no time in positioning his cock at the slit of my pussy, and in the blink of an eye, he penetrated me to the hilt.
“Fuck,” I grunted as his entire cock filled me.
He froze. “Are you okay? Do you want me to stop?”
“No!” I said. His cock had taken me by surprise - I had forgotten how thick it was. I was in for a great ride. “No, please, don’t stop.”
“So tight, baby. You’re so fucking tight,” he said as he withdrew his cock and pushed into me again, this time a little more gently.
I moaned and wiggled my hips, taking him all in again. How the heck had I survived two years without his cock?
He pulled out again and pushed in again, and then he started fucking me like there was no tomorrow. We kept at it for some time, his cock entering me to the hilt and pulling out, repeatedly penetrating me again and again until our moans got louder.
“I’m coming!” I moaned as the waves of orgasm overtook my body.
“So good, baby,” he screamed as he began to shake, his orgasm strong and powerful as he came inside me; then he collapsed on me, pinning me to the desk.
For a few moments, we stayed that way, trying to catch our breath. When we recovered, we both lay on the carpeted floor, holding on each other.
“This was worth the wait,” I said, smiling as I rubbed his naked chest, tracing his muscles.
“It was,” he replied, his tone a little flat.
I looked at him. “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine.”
“You’re worried about us, right?” I asked.
“Yes,” he said. “We were never supposed to do this ever again.”
“But we did.”
“I’m so sorry, Liv. It’s just that you’re so sexy, and I can’t help it when I’m around you.”
“I should leave. Coming here was a bad idea,” I said solemnly and tried to detangle myself from his body.
“No, Liv. That’s the problem. I don’t want you to ever leave. I let you go last time, but I don’t want to do that again. Yes, this might be a bad idea, but it feels so right.”
I looked at him, and he was staring at the ceiling. “Then what the heck are we going to do?”
***
RYAN
***
I was never supposed to sleep with Liv again, not after the first time we had sex two years ago. We had agreed at that time it was a mistake and had sworn never to cross those unspoken boundaries of sibling-sex ever again. But it was easier said than done.
The first time I saw Liv, I was so attracted to her I knew I was going to have sex with her one day. It was only a matter of time. The right time came one day while we were home alone; fucking her had been the highlight of my life. But it hadn’t seemed right for us to engage in a physical relationship, so we had amicably agreed to make that encounter our first and last. It had worked for two years.
As much I hated that arrangement and the thoughts of her in another man’s arms haunted me daily, I had to respect the pact we’d made until such a time when things could be different. And that day had been today. When she called me to tell me she needed me to come pick her up, I knew things were about to turn around for me. Luckily, Stacey, my girlfriend, was already out of the picture, mostly because I was a dick to her by no fault of her own. My relationships never lasted because I knew it was Liv or no one for me. I wanted Liv more than anybody else, more than anything else, but I couldn’t let her know this. I didn’t want to frighten her. I kept away as much as I could from her by refusing to share an apartment with her even when our parents had insisted that it made sense. Our colleges were only a few miles away from each other. I knew sharing an apartment with her would muddle things up.
It would be impossible to live with her and not fuck her. And what had just happened between us was what I had been hoping to avoid. Now it was too late. Thoughts of her naked in the tub had been overpowering, and when she’d asked for that towel, I lost all sense of control. I broke our promise. But I didn’t regret it. Fucking her had been worth every second of the time it lasted, and as she lay cuddled next to me, I had an urge to kiss her and take her again, except I had yet to resolve our present problem…where do we go from here? And to make it worse, we would be heading home for summer break soon. We had both landed internships at the same local real estate company for the duration of summer vacation. I had no clue how I was going to survive three long months of spending every day of the summer with her without having sex with her again.