Chapter 16
I’m scared of walking out of this room, and never feeling the rest of my whole life, the way I feel when I’m with you.
-Dirty Dancing
Shiloh
“From what I’ve been told, Lyle was a gentle soul. He loved life, and lived it to the fullest. Now he’s home, where nothing will ever hurt him again. He’ll forever be remembered, and loved.” Reverend Justice preached solemnly.
My heart felt lighter today. It’d been a week since Lyle had passed. Originally, the state was going to bury Lyle and his mother together, side by side, in the plot awarded by the state in a cemetery on the outskirts of Jefferson, where they’d lived. Sadly, Nadia’s parents decided to bury her in their family plot, sans Lyle, and didn’t tell anyone of the service until after it was finished.
Throughout the entire process, James remained a rock. He held me through my crying jags. Offered help, suggestions, and his ear for me to rant about the injustices of it all. What he didn’t offer was judgment. He wasn’t mad that I’d taken off without him. Concerned for my safety, yes. Upset? No.
He’d shown up at the hospital an hour after me. I smiled at the Root Beer he’d offered me, and took it with silent thanks. He’d sat with me for around seventeen hours, only leaving for bathroom breaks and phone calls to Janie. At two in the afternoon the next day, Lyle took his final breath.
The nurse had been correct. The alarms all shrieked their warnings, scaring me half to death. Sadly, they weren’t able to bring him back, even after multiple measures to do so, as per state regulations.
Then commenced the drama, which led us to now. Lyle being buried in the tiny little coffin, in the tiny little hole. Alone.
He wasn’t sent away from this earth alone, however. The entirety of Sam’s Free Family, my coworkers who’d been on the case, my father, my brother, and the entire damn Dixie Wardens Motorcycle Club showed. Which surprised and shocked me. I’d never been a part of The Dixie Wardens Motorcycle Club. Although they were aware of me, they didn’t know my relation to my father and Sebastian. Well...they didn’t used to be.
They did now.
They also treated me like gold. Like I was someone precious to them, even though I’d met them all of three times before this last week.
My father had given me a little more insight on the why’s and how’s of his life. I’d had so many of the questions answered that have always lurked in the back of my mind, that it made me admire him all the more for doing what he’d done. After seeing child abuse at its finest, I respected a man that could forgo a relationship with his children in deference to their safety. Many parents I’ve come to see in my years on the job hadn’t, and those children had suffered all the more for it.
Lillian walked up to me as the last shovelful of dirt was placed in the whole. She was dressed in a black calf length dress, with pearls in her ears and around her neck. Her hair was in a beautiful up do that showed she’d really put some effort into looking her best.
For Lyle.
Which made me unbelievably happy to know that people cared.
“He had quite a gathering show to send him off. I’m pleased.” She said with a fond smile sent my way.
No condemnation about the sixty bikers dressed in leather vests. Each vest had a wraith like woman dominating the back of each with flaming eyes. Which, quite frankly, surprised the crap out of me. The woman came off as a proper, prim older woman. Never would I have thought she’d be accepting. However, she’d been gracious and kind to each and every one of them.
She laughed when she saw the confusion on my face at that comment. “I could give you a lesson in biker culture if you’d like. I was married to the love of my life, Jeffery, for thirty years before he died. And, each one of those years, he belonged to a motorcycle club very much similar to your own. I loved every minute of it, too.”
The only intelligent thing that came out of my mouth was, “Wow.”
She smiled, and then turned to examine the grave. There was no headstone yet, but the office had started a fund, and would be providing one for Lyle soon.
“Try to have a good rest of the weekend, dear. We’ll be seeing you soon. James.” She smiled warmly at the man who’d just wrapped an arm around my stomach before turning on her heel and walking to her Buick.
“Did you hear what she just said?” I asked.
“About the motorcycle club?” James queried.
“Yeah,” I nodded.
“I’ve come across quite a few bikers in my life. The ones that belong to clubs are all normal people. I know that they come in all shapes and sizes. All walks of life. Even ones that drive Buicks when they’re seventy, and help kids get out of dangerous situations.” He supplied.
“Let’s go. Janie’s with my dad, and I don’t want her to learn any new bad language.” I admonished.
“Hey,” he said holding up his hands. “I don’t mean for her to learn those words. She doesn’t hear them from me. I know better.”
***
“But,” I said trying to change James, my dad, Sam, and Sebastian’s mind. “I don’t need to be babysat. I want to sleep in my own bed. Not on the couch.”
My father was currently residing at the Allen homestead, as was Sebastian and Johnny. The only room that was open was James’ mother’s room, and I sure as hell wasn’t sleeping in there. That’s just weird.
“Shiloh June Mackenzie, stop arguing. There are some fucked up men in this world, and I sure as fuck don’t want them getting their sick, sadistic hands on you. It’d kill me. Please stop arguing and sleep on the couch.” My father, the traitorous bastard, pleaded.
He knew I’d listen to him. In my twenty-seven years of life, I can count on two hands the number of times I’d been told what to do from my dad. Each one of those times, my life was in danger. This last time was with Zander. He’d told me to stop seeing him, that he wasn’t a good man, and I hadn’t listened. Having experienced my father’s intuition, I knew he wasn’t just telling me this for no reason. Which was why he was the one to tell me to stop arguing. If Sebastian had done it, he knew what I would’ve said. It begins with a ‘fuck,’ and ends with an ‘off.’
“Fine. Don’t expect me to be happy about it, though.”
“When have you ever done something you didn’t like in twenty six years?” Sebastian muttered under his breath.
“Twenty seven.” I stomped my foot for emphasis.
Sebastian looked startled, and then remorseful. Yeah, that’s right. Sebastian, the one person who never forgets anything, forgot my birthday.
He looked incredibly remorseful. “I’m sorry, ‘Loh. I can’t believe I forgot.”
“That’s okay,” I shrugged.
Everyone else in the room wore a guilty expression as well. James, Cheyenne, and Sam all sat on the couch watching the show. Waiting for the inevitable to happen. Which it did, and now I was on that couch for a fourth night in a row. Hooray.
I was currently standing in the middle of the room while everybody else had seats. Sebastian and I’d been arguing about bodyguards. Then it’d degraded down to ‘You’re not staying in that piece of shit place by yourself.’ Not to mention that they still weren’t happy that I’d left when someone was trying to kill my father, and would use anyone and anything to make that happen.
“Have a seat, Shiloh. We need to go over some things before you start work on Monday.” My father asked.
Left with no other choice, because if I tried to run, they’d probably tackle me to the ground before I even cleared the landing, I did as ordered. Turning on my heels, I stalked towards James side of the couch, and plopped down in the gap between him and Sam.
Both men grunted at the force of my body hitting them, but I wiggled until I was snugly between each of them. “Please, let me move over.” Sam said dryly.
“Thanks.” I smiled at him.
James’ arm went around my shoulder and pulled me closer into his body. Sam’s eyes went hard for a few seconds, but it was gone quickly. I looked away from Sam’s face to my father and raised my eyebrows.
“Zander,” I tensed at the mention of his name. “What did you tell him when you were together?”
My lips thinned, and I pinned them between my upper and lower teeth to keep in the expletive that wanted to pour out of my mouth about him. I would’ve sounded like I had Tourette’s if I’d let it slip. However, I composed myself before asking him to clarify the question.
“I told him a lot of things. How about you give me an example of what you think I told him?” I asked.
What I was hoping was that they didn’t ask me about that night. I’d managed to keep the details from everyone, even Sebastian, the almighty know-it-all. They already thought I was a fucked up mess, there was no reason to confirm it.
“Anything significant. Anything about your brothers, or me.” My father explained.
“I’m not sure what you wanted me to tell them. I didn’t even know about Sam. But Zander was my boyfriend, and I did tell him things. Like the fact that I could possibly have another brother. I would never intentionally share anything that would put anyone in danger if I could help it, though.” I said completely confused.
Why would what I told him matter? I couldn’t explain the relationship I had with my father. My brother was a soldier. That’s what I always told everyone, because there wasn’t anything else to tell. There wasn’t anything to tell about Sam because I’d never even met him before in my life at that moment in time.
“Just tell her!” Cheyenne exclaimed from the other side of Sam.
My father sighed. “Around the time you started digging about Sam, I was in the middle of a deal with one of the largest motorcycle clubs in the country. Glen Larson, the president, mentioned a brother, but it wasn’t until last night at a meeting of the minds that it finally clicked on who the brother was.”
“Well, who the hell was it?” I sighed exasperatingly.
“Zander.” James rumbled.
His chest vibrated with that deep rumbling sound he did when he was unhappy. My eyes closed, and a wave of embarrassment washed through me. God, I am such a fuck-up.
“I’m sorry.” I whispered, devastated.
“He went by all our defenses.” Sebastian said soothingly.
His attempt to exonerate me from my mistakes only upset me more.
“Yeah, but did you let him into your life? Into your bed?” I snapped.
“No. But you also aren’t the one involved in dangerous shit like dad and I am. It’s not your job to worry about whether someone will use you to get back at us. That’s our job, since we’re the reasons they’re doing it in the first fucking place.” Sebastian snapped back.
James’ breath had stopped moving rhythmically at my mention of letting Zander in my bed, and it was then I noticed the clenched fist above his knee, and then the placement of my elbow. Digging in deep where he’d been shot not even a week ago.
“Shit!” I exclaimed and moved myself further away from him.
He hauled me back until I was practically sitting in his lap. “You weren’t hurting me.”
“Well something was!”
I didn’t have time to think when the next moment I found his mouth against mine. His tongue in my mouth, teasing me with short shallow strokes. His large hands holding my head still.
The couch rising from displaced weight made me disentangle my mouth from James’, and then my face flamed when I saw everyone watching the show, and Sam standing on the opposite side of the room from where he was only moments before.
“It’s like nails against a chalkboard to hear about you being with another man. It rubs me the wrong way, and I don’t want to talk about this anymore. However, if you value your privacy, you won’t bring it up in public again. Next time I won’t stop at just a kiss.” James said against my lips again before giving me a quick kiss, and moving me back to the couch next to him.
Clearing my throat, I felt the heat rise in my cheeks, but I told them everything I knew about him. Well, almost everything. My pulsed raced a little when I thought about what I was holding back, but outwardly, I was a rock.
“You’re not telling us something.” James whispered into my ear.
Shock poured through me. How the hell would he know I didn’t tell everything? I wasn’t fidgeting. Nor was I sweating. How could he possibly know? Then he ringed my wrist tighter, and I realized that two of his large, blunt fingers ran over the beat of my pulse at the base of my wrist.
Busted.
Sam’s eyes followed James’ movement, and then read the look of surprise on my face. “What else?”
The man’s body language reading abilities were just uncanny.
“It doesn’t have anything to do with what you’re asking.” I clipped.
“Shiloh,” Sam sighed.
“It won’t do you any good. She wouldn’t tell me anything either.” Sebastian muttered and then took a sip of his beer.
“Alright. We’ll talk about this more in the morning. It’s fifteen until midnight. Let’s sleep on it.” My father said as he stood up gingerly and made his way to the back of the house where he was staying.
We all watched him go. None of us moved.
“Does anyone else think it’s weird to have him around?” I finally broke the silence.
“Fuckin’ nuts.” Sebastian and Sam agreed at the same time.
“Well aren’t y’all cute.” I said sarcastically.
Cheyenne snickered from across the couch, but quickly covered up the lapse in judgment with the palm of her hand.
“Sebastian,” Cheyenne asked as Sam handed her her sweatshirt and pulled it over her head.
“Yeah?” Sebastian raised his eyebrows.
I took a sip of James’ coke that was on the floor between our feet, and promptly spewed it everywhere with Cheyenne’s question.
She pursed her lips. “What’s your middle name?”
Sebastian’s head whipped around and glared at me.
“What?” I asked innocently.
I might have mentioned to Cheyenne that we all had matching themes for middle names, but that was only because I was emotionally compromised with Lyle’s death, and I needed something happy to lift my spirits.
I did not tell her what his middle name was, though. I wouldn’t go that far. Sebastian may not kick my ass, or harm me in any way, but the man knew how to hold a mean grudge.
Sebastian turned his head slowly until he regarded the sincerity in Cheyenne’s question. I think she truly wanted to know. It was important for her to know more of her husband, and that meant getting to know his family.
Finally coming to a decision, he told her. “Sue.”
“That’s fucking awesome!” She said in awe.
“Glad daddy dearest decided to bestow that name on you and not me.” Sam muttered as he grabbed his wife’s hand and led her to the door.
In the next instant, they were gone, closing the door quietly behind them.
James followed them to the door and locked the dead bolt, chain, and armed the alarm. Sam’s bike roared to life, and pulled out of the driveway moments after. The sound of the Harley’s pipes disappeared, and Sebastian cleared his throat behind me.
“You love him, don’t you?” Sebastian asked as we watched James disappear into the kitchen.
Startled, I turned from staring at James walk around the house, checking the windows and locks. When he disappeared into the kitchen, I replied. “I’m fucking screwed.”
He chuckled at my less than succulent comment, wrapped his arm around my neck, pulled me into him, and kissed my forehead. “You deserve someone to love. Tell him about what happened with Zoolander. He may’ve hurt you, and he may have brought you down for a while, but he no more broke you anymore than I was able to get you to stop following me around when you were a kid. He deserves to know what happened.”
“Zander.” I corrected automatically.
The man was notorious for saying Zander’s name incorrectly. Sebastian had hated Zander with a passion. So much so, that every time they were within the same air space, Sebastian referred to him by anything but his actual name. Then what he’d just said finally sunk in with me, and I gasped.
“You know?” I asked incredulously.
“I know everything.” He said cryptically before leaving the room silently.
“What does he know everything about?” James asked as he came up to me, pulling me into a hug.
I wrapped my hands around his torso, and buried my head into his chest. “I’ll tell you. I promise; just not right now.”
He tightened his hold for a few moments, and then loosened it. “I wish you could stay in my room with me. I just don’t want your dad to hear and feed my nuts to me when I’m sleeping.”
I laughed. “You’d wake up before he got too far with it.”
“That I would.” He agreed with a laugh of his own.
Our kiss goodnight was anything but chaste, and by the time I was lying on the couch with my borrowed pillow and blanket off James’ bed, I was feeling anything but tired. In fact, I was downright horny.
After an hour of zero sleep, I decided that just maybe, I needed some ice cream.
Getting up, forgoing the pants, I tiptoed to the kitchen in James’ newest SWAT t-shirt, a pair of panties, and rainbow knee socks. I got the spoon, the half-gallon of chocolate banana Blue Bell Ice Cream, and took a seat at the table. Boris, my cat, leapt up beside me and took his spot, waiting for his turn to lick the spoon.
I ate a quarter of the ice cream, which had done wonders at cooling my body heat down, but not the heat still pooling in my core. Getting one more spoonful, I set it down on the table, and Boris started licking away, purring so hard that it vibrated the table, and the chair. Hell, it might have even been vibrating the floor.
Feeling the chill in the air, because, hey, it’s normal for a man to leave the thermostat set on off when it’s forty degrees out, I grabbed my blanket, and made my way downstairs. TV was better than nothing. Even if I had to settle for infomercials.
Only I didn’t have to, because the first thing I saw when I turned on the large flat screen TV in the basement was a soft-core porn on HBO. Which I immediately turned back off. Or tried to.
Somehow I hit a button that turned the surround sound on, because suddenly, the soft moans and grunts of the couple having sex on the screen assaulted me at all angles.
“Oh, yes, just like that. Do it to me baby. Uh huh. Uh huh.” The woman’s fake orgasm reverberated off the basement walls.
“Oh, my God. Turn off you stupid piece of shit!” I squealed, randomly pressing buttons now.
Blessedly, after pressing everything under the sun on the biggest fucking remote in the world, peaceful silence ensconced the room. Heart pounding, I collapsed into the hammock.
The only light on was the Red Dog neon beer sign hanging above the TV. Which was why when James leaned over my face from behind me, I shrieked like a wiener and fell out of the hammock.
“Mother of pearl!” I said as my body hit the ground with a heavy thud.
“Were you just watching porn?” James asked, making no attempt to help me up. “With the surround sound on?”
“Yes, but I got off, and didn’t see a reason to watch it anymore.” I quipped breathlessly.
He laughed quietly, leaned over, and gathered me into his arms. I did notice he was very careful not to put any added weight on his leg that’d been grazed by a bullet. Which then led me to notice the tight black boxer briefs he was in with white dots on them.
“I like your underwear,” I laughed, as he laid me down gently in the middle of the hammock width wise.
“I like ‘em.” He acknowledged, spreading my legs wide and stepping between them.
I decided to play off the intense arousal that I was feeling, and asked, “Do you have any other pair of polka dotted underwear?”
His hands spanned my hips, squeezing. “They’re not polka dots. Look closer.”
Oh, I’d look closer all right. Leaning forward, I sat up until my face was directly in line with the hard column of his cock. The dots were now skulls up close, and then I noticed the waistband.
“Does your underwear say ‘The Punisher’ on them?” I snickered.
Lifting my hand, I ran a lone finger along the elastic around his waistband. His stomach tensed, and I smiled.
Good.
If I had to be horny, so did he.
His hands went to the bun in my hair, pulling me until my mouth was a millimeters from the hard ridge of his dick. If I stuck my tongue out, I could lick him. Easily.
“Yeah. Now, are you going to suck my cock? Or do I need to just get down to business?” He asked gruffly.
My panting breath fanned his rock hard cock, and I knew he could feel the heat of my mouth. I also knew he was anticipating it.
I wished the lights were on so I could see what I was doing somewhat better, but I just used my sense of touch.
“Are you sure you can handle standing? Do you want to lay down instead?” I asked just before I ran my tongue along the waistband of his briefs.
I’d intended to go from hip to hip, only my mouth found the head of his cock peeking out the top of his briefs, and I got distracted. His inhale of surprise tore through the silent room like a rocket launching. Pulling the waistband down only slightly, I zeroed in on my target with precise accuracy.
I licked the tip almost delicately, tasting the salty cream that wept from his tip. A growl sounded above me, drawing my eyes. I looked up at him, and then took the head into my mouth, sucking strongly.
Although it was hard to see him clearly, I could tell his eyes were glued to the action of my mouth taking him in, hollowing with the force of my suction.
“Take more.” He commanded.
I obliged, pulling his underwear down until the waistband was underneath his ball sack. However, now both balls were now on display as well, drawing not only my eyes, but my mouth to the delicious feast.
Forgetting that he wanted me to take more of his cock inside my mouth, I started to lick, nip, and suck on the twin globes. Pulling one, and then the other into my mouth delicately.
The grip of his fist in my hair tightened, and I found myself being pulled away from my feast, and being fed his cock instead. I wasn’t upset. That was just as good, if not better.
He worked his cock in and out of my mouth like he was a mad man, yet not once did I choke on his length. He had an uncanny ability to judge when he was getting too far in, and pulled back before my gag reflex kicked in.
“Suck me harder.” James demanded.
I sucked.
Hard.
“Oh, yeah. That feels fucking awesome. God, I could come right now.” He gasped.
I felt empowered, only sucking all the harder.
With a roughness I’d never experienced before, he lost control.
He ripped his length from my mouth, pulling back on my hair as he did so to free himself with a loud pop.
“Turn over on your knees. Be careful.” He growled.
I did so carefully.
He helped by holding the hammock steady as I rolled, and then gingerly pulled first one, and then the other knee underneath me. His callused hands moved from my hips to the edges of my panties and yanked, making them pool at the bend in my knees.
The position felt incredibly awkward, making me grasp the netting with clutching fingers.
However, in the next second, I didn’t feel awkward in the least. With one rough thrust, he was inside me.
The pound of his hips against mine jolted me forward, pulling me off him. Then he repeated the process by pulling back on the netting as well as thrusting forward.
The added thrust of his hips, and the pull back on the hammock, rammed his cock into me so hard that caused a twinge of pain. The jolt of bliss overshadowed that twinge of pain exponentially, successfully throwing me higher and higher until I burst into a thousand shards. Lights exploded behind my closed eyes as my pussy clamped down hard on his cock.
His groan of completion followed on the heels of mine; his big body shook with the force of it. I looked over my shoulder and only saw the silhouette of his large form still coaxing the last dregs of his release from his cock. With that one glance, a smaller, but no less significant orgasm pulsed through me, making my body shutter.
“Fuck,” he hissed.
“Yeah,” I panted.
He pulled away from me carefully, and I thrust my arm down in between my legs to catch his come before it leaked out all over the hammock, and then the carpet. Warm liquid filled my hands, and I resisted the urge to grind the heel of my hand into my engorged clit while rubbing his leavings into my overheated skin.
He returned momentarily and lifted me up carefully.
I kept my hand covering myself, and he produced a towel, cleaning up my core first, and then my hand. Once finished, he tossed the towel into a hamper that was sitting in the corner of the room, and then helped me pull up my panties.
Once we were both settled in the hammock, I finally figured out what was niggling in the corner of my brain throughout the entire encounter. “What happened to your piercing?”
“I don’t wear it all the time. I was young when I got it. My friend, Dougie, bet me three hundred bucks that I wouldn’t do it. I proved him wrong, and woke up with a pierced dick and couldn’t have sex for months while it healed. I pop it in from time to time, but mostly I don’t wear it anymore. I have a phobia of it getting caught on something and ripping my cock in half.” He explained.
I snickered and then cringed at the though.
“Normally you wouldn’t be hanging around with your dick out for it to snag on things.” I replied dryly.
I felt his chest rise as he huffed out a laugh. “Yeah, that’s true. It doesn’t stop me from having the thoughts though.”
“Tell me about Dougie.” I requested, letting my fingers dance on the ridges of his abdomen.
Tensing beneath me at the question, he quivered like a bow, strung and ready to be released. “He was the friend that I was telling you about. He died four years ago while we were on a mission. He has...had a daughter Janie’s age. Kayla. He was always so upbeat and happy. When he died, we lost something that was an integral part of us. I still get the urge to call him every time I think of a stupid fucking joke. He was notorious for one liners. But then, when the time came, he’d ruthlessly fuck up a tango and not even blink an eye.”
The sadness in his voice tore a hole through my heart. “I’m sorry. He sounds like an unbelievable man.”
“He was.” He said softly.
“Will you tell me what you refused to earlier?” He asked after the silence continued for a few more minutes.
I tensed, but then relaxed, remembering my brother’s words from earlier.
“It’s not pretty.” I explained.
“There are very few things that would keep you silent about something you felt passionate about. I don’t think that it’s pretty. In fact, I bet it’s something horrible, and I’ll have to restrain myself from walking out of this house afterwards and tracking that piece of shit down.”
“Sebastian had always told me that Zander was no good. I should’ve listened.” I said, swallowing on a suddenly dry throat. “It started out small. Cruel words here, a slap upside the head there. Then, before I could really do anything about it, Sebastian was hurt in that motorcycle accident. I don’t know if I was just oblivious, or what, but the slaps upside the head turned into slaps across the face. A punch in the stomach. It wasn’t until I walked in on him fucking another woman in his apartment that I realized what a fool I’d become. And so, I left him that night, only for him to follow me down the hallway of his apartment and beat the ever loving shit out of me, while he was naked and his dick was swinging. Then he dragged me back into the room and fucked the woman while I watched with a broken leg, arm, and a few cracked ribs.”
James’ arm tightened with each declaration, and by the end of it, I could feel him shaking in rage. “What the hell did the woman do while this was going on?”
“She was drunk, I guess. When Zander was done fucking her, he tossed me outside the door of his apartment, and I crawled down the stairs and to the street before I was found and taken to the hospital. I filed charges on him, but he got that woman to corroborate that he didn’t do anything.” I said with disgust.
“Do you know what the bullet of a fifty caliber does to a man’s head at a mile away?” He asked casually.
I had a feeling I knew where this was going, and stood.
He grunted when I used his stomach to push myself up, and asked, “Where you going?”
“To bed, stud. You’ve got an early doctor appointment, and I have to do some laundry.” I answered as I made my way to the stairs. He grunted, but followed me up the stairs and to the living room where I laid down.
He covered me with the blanket he’d remembered to grab from the basement floor, and covered me. “Night, Shiloh June.”
“Night, James Jonathan Allen.” I sighed.
Sleep came swiftly after that. Sated and sleepy, I slept until the next morning when the smell of bacon wafted through the house and woke me from a dead sleep.