Chapter Thirty-Three

When we make it through the front doors of the house, Chris grabs my hand. “Bedroom, now. Just you and me.” Chris seems dishevelled and concerned—the deep voice he uses is manly and not at all like Chris’s normal tone.

I look at Arlie, who smiles and nods.

“Okay, I’ll be back soon.” I shrug in Arlie’s direction.

“Have fun, you two.”

Hazel purses her lips and flutters her eyelashes when I shift my attention her way. I swiftly turn and lead Chris up the stairwell. This is not going well at all.

When Chris enters my bedroom, he immediately begins to pace between the glass doors and the bed. He doesn’t even gush over the room or the view. He’s seriously freaking out.

“You’re going to wear a track in the carpet if you keep pacing,” I mumble.

“Girl, I think this island has gone and scrambled your brains.” He waves his finger in front of him like he’s a sassy princess.

“Why?”

“Love? Love? Now that’s some serious shit right there.”

“I know.”

“Well …” He curls his fingers around his hips. “Do you? Do you love him?”

I bob my head. “I think so. I’ve never been in love, but what I’m feeling is not like anything I’ve ever known.”

Chris walks towards the bed. He stops running his fingertips over the sheets. “Have you changed these? Or washed them? I’m guessing there has been a ten-day hump-a-thon happening in this space.” He circles his arms over top of the bedspread.

I snicker. “The bedding is fine. It’s clean.”

Chris’s jaw drops. His finger points in my direction as his arse meets the blankets. “You didn’t even deny it, you dirty humping dog. You have been busy here.”

I laugh.

“Sit.” He pats the comforter. “Come tell me everything. Do not leave a single detail out.”

“Chris …”

“Is he big? Like does he have a donkey’s dick?”

“Chris!” I scold.

“Do me a favour and walk across the room. I need to see if you’re bow-legged and all saggy-arsed.”

I’m laughing so hard I can’t catch my breath.

“Your laughter says it all. His schlong is like a well-hung elephant. Good for you, girlfriend.” Chris snaps his fingers three times in front of his chest.

“Stop. Stop it,” I snort.

“Come sit. Talk to me. I miss our talks.”

I shuffle over to the bed and flop onto my back. Before long, Chris’s head is beside mine as I look at the chandelier above.

“So you have fucked a lot, yeah?”

“Not even once.”

Chris’s gasp is so loud and ridiculously drawn-out that I throw my arm out and backhand him across the chest.

“If you ain’t been fucked, you ain’t in love.” Chris’s Southern drawl has me slapping his chest again.

“Sex doesn’t define love, Chris.”

“Where my cock comes from, it totally does. Like with M&M. My cock is liking what he’s got, but is it love? No, no.”

I hop onto my knees and stare down at Chris. “M&M? You slept with him? So by working out with him you meant doing that with him? He’s not even gay.”

Chris snickers. “Oh, but he is. He’s at least bi.”

I place both my hands to my cheeks. “I can’t believe it.”

“He’s so …” Chris curls his hands into fists and shakes them with excitement by his face. “Your source was not wrong … I’m dying daily. DAILY.”

I flop back onto my back. “I can’t believe you’re sleeping with him.”

“He’s my Sugar daddy.”

I blow out a long breath of air. This blows my mind.

“So, I’m standing by my initial statement. If you ain’t been fucked, you ain’t in love.”

“You’ve put your pecker everywhere and anywhere, so I don’t think you’re a love expert.”

“Amen, sister. Love is for fools, but if it’s what you want, I’ll support your foolishness always.”

“You know it’s what I want.”

“I do.”

There’s silence.

“You really do love him, don’t you?”

“Uh-huh.” I chew on my nail.

“This isn’t like a ‘I’m thirty and desperate’ thing?”

“Oh my God, what if it is?”

“I’m toying with you. Get back out of that headspace. Abort, abort.”

No, it can’t be.

“Is he treating you right?”

“He treats me so good, and I can talk to him, Chris, about everything, and I can lie in the quiet with him and completely relax and switch off. It feels so right.”

“Well, you better get your throwdown on before you go making any big decisions, you two-bit hooker, because if he can’t get your rocks off, then it’s going to be one sad-as-fuck life for you—even sadder than it was before you got here.” Chris pauses. “Have you at least seen what he’s packing in his pants?”

“Yes.” I roll onto myside.

“Well?” Chris flops onto his stomach and perches his head on the backs of his hands. “Spill, spill.”

“I’m not telling you.”

“Oh, but you will.”

There’s a moment of quietness.

“So, his sister seems like a royal pain in the arsehole.” Chris never holds back what he thinks.

“I don’t think she’s fond of me so far.”

“Mindy, I don’t think that snobby cow is fond of anything. Such a sourpuss. She looks like she’s been sucking on lemons.”

“She’s really pretty.”

“Oh, she is stunning, but her mouth? A lemon sucker.”

“Stop it.” I giggle. “Did you two have to travel far together?”

“Yeah, from Brisbane to here.”

“Shit.”

“It’s okay. I talked at her for entertainment—my entertainment.”

“Chris!” I spit out, trying not to laugh.

“What? She needs to lighten up and relax. It wouldn’t kill her to frickin’ smile.”

“She’s young, and Arlie said she’s a really fun-loving girl.”

“Fun? Like in a stomped-out-fire-no-longer-burning way? Because if so, Arlie’s right.”

“Chris!” I tap his head.

“Stop hitting me.”

“Stop being a turd.”

“Speaking of turds, I hereby declare I’m no longer cleaning them out of Fletcher’s kitty litter tray, so you’ll need to train him to use the toilet if I ever have to cat-sit again.”

“Why?”

“They stink, and they’re as long as his tail. He could probably go on a diet.”

“Is there anything you can’t find to bitch about?”

“I’m gay and picky, so no. Everything is drama, drama, drama in my world.”

“God, I’ve missed you.”

“Girl, life is nothing when you’re not around. Eleven more days and I get you back, even if it’s likely we’ll have a tall, handsome, donkey-dicked tagalong.”

I laugh, and so does Chris.

***

The sun is shining. The birds are singing. The air is fresh and clean, and the spread in front of us is mouthwatering. I think Arlie and I created an amazing lunch for our company, which was the task for today. Chris and Hazel only get to stay with us until late afternoon, so I’m not wasting a minute.

Arlie sits beside me at the picnic table on the beach. Chris and Hazel are across from us, and things seem calmer now that we’ve had a little time with our loved ones alone. Plus, Chris is so overjoyed by the house he has declared that when he finally publishes his brilliant novel he’ll be buying this island and residing here.

“Tell me a little bit about yourself, Hazel. Arlie says you have a daughter.”

“I do.” She places her fork onto her plate. “She’s four, and absolutely loves her Unky Larlie.”

“Larlie?” I smile.

“Yeah, she hasn’t quite gotten his name down pat yet.”

“Very cute.”

“She is, but she’s sad at the moment.” Hazel drops her bottom lip. “She needs her Unky Larlie to come home. She’s used to not seeing him, but this time it’s really bothering her.”

“She’ll survive.” Arlie tears into a bread roll and narrows his eyes at Hazel.

“She likes gingerbread men, too, I hear.”

Hazel leans back slightly. You can see the love she has for her daughter in the way her eyes light up as she speaks of her. I think she appreciates the fact Arlie has spoken of them while he’s been away, even if it seems she’s trying to make him feel bad for his absence.

“So much. She makes us bake them all the time,” Hazel says.

“I don’t blame her. They’re delicious.”

“You look like someone who indulges in sweets often, Mindy,” Hazel says.

Ouch.

Chris coughs as if he’s choking. He takes the glass of wine in front of him and gulps it down.

“Are you okay, Chris?” I go to stand.

He waves in my direction. “Fine.” He clears his throat.

I sit back down. “Yes, I do enjoy a little dessert. But I’ve not had so much over here.”

“I’d say you enjoy a little more than you let on. You’re not normally the type of girl my brother goes for. Not so fit, athletic, and tiny-waisted.”

“Oh, bitch, please.” Chris stands from his chair with a look of disgust filling his expression. “You better watch your damn mouth. Just because you look like you’ve not eaten in a year doesn’t mean the rest of the world needs to. Are you hangry? It seems like you’re hangry and in need of some sweets. Here. Let me shove some food down your throat so your brain can function more rationally.” Chris leans across the table and takes her plate loading it with potato salad before dropping it back in front of her.

“Chris, stop.”

“No. What gives her the right? She’s acting all like you’re fat and unhealthy, and it’s bullshit. She needs to eat up.”

“Chris, I’m sure she didn’t mean anything by it. Down, boy, down.”

“Oh, she meant it. Fucking magazines and women thinking skin and bones are attractive. I might be a homo, but I’ll have you know it’s fucking gross. Hazel, it wouldn’t hurt you to eat some cake. You’re rake skinny, and God knows you need some. Like, where are ya tits? And your hips? Do you even have an arsehole to shit out of? Because girlfriend, you ain't got no arse. Your butt is flat as a tack.”

“Chris!” I snap.

Arlie stands. “Hazel come with me, now.” His tone is harsh yet controlled.

Before I even blink, Arlie and Hazel are walking towards the house.

I huff, then puff. “Really? Did you have to tear into her like you did? She’s young, and if she thinks I’m a little on the bigger side, then so be it. I don’t care what she thinks, Chris. I don’t care what anyone thinks anymore. What’s the point? Life’s way too short.”

“Sorry.” Chris’s head hangs low.

There’s a long, strained silence between us. Chris lifts his chin and smiles in my direction. “I’m really proud of you.”

“Huh? Why?”

“Because the Mindy I knew ten days ago would have been so butt-hurt after a comment such as Hazel’s. She would have burst into tears and ran. You? You’ve changed, and I’m proud.”

I wouldn’t have run away all butt-hurt. Would I?

When Arlie and Hazel return, Arlie says in a low but confident tone, “Well?” The stern look keeping his lips pulled in a straight line is one I’ve not seen before.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to say what I did, Melinda. It was not nice and of poor taste. I hope you accept my apology.”

“It’s fine, honestly. I know I’m not a size four. I’m a size ten, and I’m okay with being who I am. Curves can be a curse, right?”

Hazel smiles uncomfortably.

Arlie sits beside me. He leans in and leaves a soft kiss against my cheek before picking up his fork. “Eat up. There’s plenty more where this comes from.” Arlie shifts his eyes to Chris. “You ever speak to my sister like you did again, and you and I’ll have words, you hear?”

“Yes.” Chris looks at Arlie in a way that tells me he’s so turned on, he’s about to crawl across the table and mount Arlie where he sits.

I laugh, because I’m as equally frickin’ turned on right now.

Arlie Blight is full of surprises, and I’m even more excited to learn about all the sides of Arlie I’m yet to meet.