Kate
“Miss Kate, do you think Max will like this shirt?” Finn peels off the jacket he insisted on wearing all day to reveal a football shirt.
I bend down so I’m eye to eye with him. “I think he’ll love it, but do you like it?”
He shrugs his shoulders and averts his gaze. “Kinda. I got to go to the store and pick out a new one with Harriet. Max loves football, and we played catch the other night. It was pretty fun.”
“Finn.” I place a hand on his shoulder. “You know what he’ll love more than that shirt?”
He perks up, hungry for the answer.
“You. He loves you and anything to do with you. You could wear a hot pink shirt covered in elephants and he’d be thrilled.”
“Eewww.” Finn covers his mouth, trapping in his giggles. It’s such a rare sight that tears prick in my eyes. Happy tears this time for this little man.
“It’s true.” I wave a finger at him.
“Miss Kate,” he says again when I stand to get the centers ready while the rest of the kids are at recess.
I now know Finn didn’t want to go outside for fear of getting his new shirt dirty. That would drive him nuts.
“Yeah, Finn.” I grab the stacks of baskets filled with cubes, ready to place them around the room.
“I saw pictures of you on Max’s phone.”
I freeze. “You did?”
I guarantee Finn quickly picks up on the panic on my face. He can read people like a book even if he doesn’t always express it.
“Yep, he said you are his best friend.” He scratches the side of his head. That action usually tends to send me into a frenzied panic, wondering if he has lice. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
I sigh out loud. “It’s complicated, Finn. I’m not sure what to say here.”
“Adult talk?” He tilts his head.
I have no doubt “adult talk” in his world means something horrible, and I don’t want him associating mine and Max’s relationship with that category. I scramble for an explanation, knowing darn well Finn is smart enough to read through any lines I throw him, so I go out on the limb and give it to him straight.
I walk back over to him and take a seat next to him so we are on the same level. “Finn, I’m going to tell you the truth. I’m not sure I should be, but you’re that important to me. Okay?”
He nods.
“I met Max because I went looking for him. I wanted to find a safe home for you. And along the way, we have become best friends.” I reach over and grab his tiny hand.
“Do you know he’s my dad?” Finn stares up at me, and all I can see is a miniature Max sitting in front of me, not sure if he should be scared or excited for the future. Then another thought strikes me. This never happened for Max until he was in high school. It’s a wrenching fact.
“I do.” I squeeze his hand. “How do you feel about that?”
He shrugs and nibbles on his bottom lip. “I’m excited but know my mom will come after me again. And I don’t want her to.”
And just like that, this little boy devastates me once again. It’s a real and honest concern for Finn. Hell, it’s one that keeps me up at night. I have no doubt at one point in Ally’s life she was a great person, but she let drugs and selfish need take over her true soul. I have no idea how to respond, so I settle for a hug and a corny joke, knowing what Finn’s reaction will be.
“What do you call a shoe made out of a banana?” I stand up and go about getting ready for our math lesson.
“What?” He rolls his eyes.
“A slipper.” I throw my hand up in the air with the punch line.
Finn rolls his eyes again and gets his math packet from my desk, since he’s way above the class. “Miss Kate, a banana can’t be a shoe. The peel would disintegrate and rot. It would be smelly and attract gnats. But you could turn it into mulch to use in your garden.”
He shakes his head as he pulls out his pencil and opens his packet. I watch as his little tongue pokes out to the side as he reads the first question. Max learned that Finn had a neighbor for years who took care of him. It was perfect so Ally could go out and party her ass off. Francis was an older lady with no family. She read to Finn, fixed him meals, and even took him to the library. It was the perfect nurturing he needed to fill his soul.
The rest of my students come racing in from recess. I stand at the door, giving each of them a high five while reminding them to tell the recess duty teacher about all their little squabbles. The afternoon flies by, and before I know it, we are cleaning up and the class is lining up to go home.
I keep an eye on Finn as he goes to the back of the line like he always does. But today there’s a pep in his step that only I notice. He lets a little grin escape then peers back down at his feet. He unzips his jacket and puffs out his chest a little bit.
I can’t help the smile that plasters across my face. I know we are a few minutes early to head out, but I can’t contain my own excitement. The line leaders and door holders get in place as I march the hyper students out to the buses. They know the routine, and that makes my heart happy. I have no idea how I’ll let them move on to first grade at the end of the year.
Finn races up to me, grabbing my hand as I see each of the students off. The chatter and excitement of the end of the school day is always exhilarating. I feel a tug on my hand and look down to Finn.
“Do you think he’s coming?” he asks.
“I sure do.” I point to Max striding towards us.
My knees go weak at first sight. He’s dressed in a thick hoodie, worn jeans, and messy hair that he keeps running his hands through. It’s a nervous tic. But I’m pretty sure what strikes me the hardest are the pair of aviators resting on his face. Part of me is sad that his whiskey-colored eyes are hidden, but the other turns me into a hot mess. A crooked grin appears on his face when he spots us.
I notice Harriet is at the car, letting Max pick up Finn without her. Finn waves his hand in the air. I’ve never seen him so open and outgoing. Max jerks his chin and jogs across the crosswalk, earning a scowl from the crotchety librarian who should’ve retired ten years ago. He doesn’t even notice it.
“Finn, my man.” Max rushes up to us, holding out his fist.
It takes Finn a while, but he manages to bump knuckles, do a high five, and some other trick. “Are you ready for the big day?”
He nods, then strips off his jacket, puffing out his chest like a peacock in full stride. The smile that lights up his face brings tears to my eyes this time. I can’t handle all of this.
“What’s this?” Max drops to his knees.
“Got a new shirt. Do you like it?” Finn asks.
“Did they have one in my size?” Max asks.
“Maybe. We got it at Wal-Mart in Longview.”
“Well, I’ll be checking to see if they do.” Max stands up, taking Finn’s hand.
Another action that’s a miracle. Finn allowing Max to hold his hand is a huge sign that he is already falling in love with his dad.
“Teach, how are you today?” Max grins wide.
Finn giggles, covering his mouth at the use of the nickname.
I shake my head. “Good, and you?”
“On top of the world.”
“You two have fun tonight.” I pat Max’s chest without thinking and ruffle Finn’s hair.
Max leans in and whispers, “Keep your phone handy. If all goes well, would you be up for ice cream with the two of us?”
I nod. Not sure it’s the best idea. But at this point, I don’t give a damn. Watching the two of them walk away stirs up all sorts of emotions in me. I want to run with them and watch the two of them interact so damn bad. I force myself to turn back toward the school building once Max has Finn buckled in the back seat of Harriet’s car. Instead of hopping in the front, Max slides in the back next to Finn.
Before searching for Finn’s father, I had been a month ahead in lesson plans with worksheets copied and ready to go. It was all I had in my life. Then when Max entered the scene, I went to being three weeks ahead to struggling to stay even two weeks prepped. As much as I hate it, I force myself to the copier room and bust out two weeks worth of lessons.
If you’ve ever had to stand by a copier and wait for it to finish the job, then you know how damn grueling it can be. I slip in an ear bud and press play on the Audible app on my phone, then tuck it back in my pocket. I’m dying to find out what happens to J.J. and Navy in Whiskey & You. I listen to it every night before falling asleep. I finally discovered the timer function so I don’t have to scour to find my place.
The copy machine whines to life, spitting out papers. I use the next job function to scan several more pages. Before I know it, I’m paper clipping and stacking papers. I try hard to focus on Navy’s storyline but find myself drifting off to thoughts of Max and Finn and how their afternoon is going. I can’t wait until Finn gets to sleep in his own bed and relish and grow in the love of Max.
The sun has begun to set from the narrow window in the copy room. I have no idea how much time has passed. The piles of papers grow taller each minute.
I lift open the copier, placing a workbook in it. Whiskey & You has taken a turn for the worse, with the suspense being painful and gutting. Two large hands come down on each side of me. My heart leaps up into my throat as a scream rips from my body. I rip the ear bud from my ear.
A hard body presses into my backside then a growl echoes in my ear. “You just can’t seem to follow rules, can you, Kate?”
Gilly. I relax a tick, knowing it’s not some murderer loose on the town. I’m back on stage five alert when he presses harder into my backside, the copier biting harshly into my front.
“Gilly,” I squeak out.
“I told you to stay away from him. He’s trash. Nothing but trouble, but you don’t listen.”
I interrupt his seething. “Let me go.”
My voice quakes, which in turn pisses me off. When I get angry, tears come, then I look weak, and it only pisses me off even more. It’s a vicious cycle.
“Then you go and take your class out four minutes early, breaking another rule. You know when to take them out, yet you feel you’re above the rules all of a sudden. Is Max rubbing off on you?”
Even though my entire body trembles and shakes in fear, I find the strength to stand up for myself. “It’s none of your business. Now let me go, Steven.”
“I’ll be writing you up, which equates to putting you on a plan. I suggest you start listening to what I have to say.”
He doesn’t move and is damn well making sure his station of power is well known. He’s pissed that I turned him down for a date. This is all an entertaining game of intimidation to him. I, for one, won’t be playing.
“I will not go out with you. This is jealousy, Steven, and you know that. You’re finding stupid crap to write me up on because I won’t date you.” I square my chin, staring down the racks of construction paper in front of me, and prepare to enter war. “I’m with Max. You have no right to dictate who I date and don’t. If you’re so hurt by my rejection, then go for it and take this to the board. I’ll be contacting the union lawyers, and you can damn well bet I have all of this documented.”
His evil laugh ricochets from every wall and I’m sure floats down the hall too. It’s now dark outside, and I know I’m the last teacher here, and Jan, the janitor, will have music blaring in her ears and could be on the other end of the building.
My pride has just centered me right in the middle of a war I won’t be winning. Steven’s hand moves from the top of the copier to roam up my side and near the side of my boob. It’s enough to send me over the edge. I grab the lid of the copier and slam it down on his hand, whirling in time to escape him.
“Don’t you ever come near me again, Steven. I’ll be reporting you,” I scream.
I forget all about the copies near the printer and take off, only to be yanked back by my shirt. The sound of the material ripping rattles me and stops me in my tracks. Steven’s hot breath hits the skin on my neck. He grazes his lips along the same violated area.
“You go ahead and do that, and just see what happens. Everything you love will go bye-bye. It’s the way things work in a small town when someone else has the power. It’s your choice, Kate.” Steven shoves me from the back.
I stumble over my two own feet and don’t stop running down the hall until I hit my classroom. What in the hell just happened? I know he’s a jealous man who is hell-bent on power, but this came out of the blue. There were signs, but nothing like this. I grab my purse, leaving my teacher bag behind. Grading papers is the last thing on my mind.
I don’t even turn off the lights in my room before I’m busting out the front doors. I don’t look back. My vision blurs the closer I get to my car. The tears are long gone, leaving only fear behind to taunt me. My tiny car comes into view, offering the first sign of relief. My trembling hands fight against me as I unlock the car and open the door.
“Miss Kate,” a tiny voice sounds off.
I look to the side of my car to see Max holding a football and Finn waving, with no Harriet in sight. I freeze, fight like hell to control my breathing, and plaster a fake smile on my face, all the while glancing over my shoulder. I grab a sweater from my front seat, not having any idea how small or big the rip is in the back of my shirt, and tug it on.
Finn doesn’t pick up on my panicked state. Max, on the other hand, does. I can tell by the way his shoulders tense and his knuckles grow white around the ball in his hand.
“We came to get you for ice cream.” Finn beams with pride.
I clear my throat. “You did?”
“Yep, Dad—I mean,” Finn blushes a bright red, “I mean Max made me eat grilled chicken and broccoli for dinner, promising we’d pick you up for ice cream since you’re best friends and all.”
“Broccoli?” I ask, crooking up an eyebrow.
“I had one.” He holds up a finger. “Bite.”
“Drenched in ketchup?” I ask.
He nods. “Come on, let’s walk to the ice cream place,” he begs.
I spot Max’s truck in the lot and feel relief. There’s no way in hell I’m walking right now. He must pick up on my cue and takes over for me.
“Let’s take my truck, bud. We can get there faster,” Max suggest.
“Okay!” Finn races for the truck.
If my nerves weren’t shattered as hell, I wouldn’t even recognize the little boy in front of me. He’s happy, talking, and excited for life. He’s a new kid.
Max walks up to me and leans in. “Are you okay?”
I gulp down a ball of nerves, remembering the encounter that scared the shit out of me. I interlock my trembling hands to keep them from shaking.
“I’ll take that as a no. Are you able to go with us?” he whispers in my ear.
“Yes,” I manage to squeak out.
“Then once Harriet picks up Finn, I’ll be expecting answers. No exceptions,” he hisses.
“He’s not staying?” That comment snaps me out of my trance as we walk to his truck.
“No, he can, but I want to make sure he’s solid in it,” Max replies and opens the driver’s side door for me to slide into the middle.
Finn has already climbed into his booster seat and promptly buckled his belt. Max rounds to Finn’s side, taking his time to make sure Finn is properly secured.
“Thanks, Dad—I mean Max.” Finn drops his head, seeming to be embarrassed at his mishap.
“Finn.” Max waits until he looks up at him. He has no idea that giving Finn his time is the most important thing he can do for him. When he looks up, Max continues. “You can call me whatever you want, Finn. Dad sounds amazing, but if it makes you feel weird, that’s okay too. Okay?”
Finn nods and chews on his bottom lip. A sore is beginning to blossom. I mentally remind myself to remind him to grab his Chapstick I make sure is in his pocket.
“I like calling you Dad, but it’s just weird, and I’m not sure if…” He trails off.
“I’ll tell you every day that I love you calling me Dad. Finn, we have lots of time to make up for, and if you call me Dad, that will make it sweet, like the ice cream we are about to devour.”
Finn nods and beams with pride. Max kisses the top of his head, making Finn’s chubby cheeks blush. Max shuts the door and rounds the front of the truck. I pat Finn’s front pocket, and on cue, he pulls out the tube of Chapstick.