Jackson
After waking up to Cooper’s text message, the rest of the day had been a total loss. Even the dogs had sensed my excitement and had been particularly wound up. I couldn’t decide if Sawyer knew what the little scamp had done or not.
I was betting he didn’t. He would have been much more nervous otherwise. Not that he was calm by any means. But by the time we’d finished our burgers and were poring over the dessert menu, he was smiling and leaning back in the booth, nowhere near as nervous as he’d been when I picked him up.
“Are you going to happen to mention that you got dessert tonight?” I couldn’t resist laughing at Sawyer’s emphatic nod.
“Of course.” Sawyer smirked. “He deserves it.”
Now that was curious. Cooper had assured me he’d been absolutely perfect this week. He kept taunting me with all kinds of questions about rewards and how good he really needed to be. “What did he do? He was telling me how well-behaved he was this week.” I had to smile. “His words, not mine.”
And Sawyer went purple again.
It didn’t happen frequently, but every so often, I’d hit on a topic or say something that made him blush brilliantly, and he’d stumble around for a moment. Most of the time, he’d manage to tell me what got such a good reaction, even when I wasn’t expecting an answer.
Honesty seemed to be a big deal in his relationship with Cooper, and I wasn’t sure what it meant that I was afforded it too. Was it with everyone? Or just someone he was in a relationship with?
Sawyer breathed in deeply, and then reached for his glass and took a long drink of water. When there weren’t any more good reasons to put it off, he finally started to speak. “Cooper was trying to drive me crazy and might have said some things about telling you that he’d been good and rewards and stuff.”
Ahh.
“I got something along those lines in some texts. Along with several questions about what kinds of things could get him punished. Could. Not would. I, um, got the message with those.” And if we were being honest, I needed to make sure he was aware of Cooper’s texts from earlier. “Along with a very interesting question first thing this morning.”
Sawyer’s eyes widened and swallowed nervously. “How early?”
“Before six. I didn’t see it until I got up later, but…he was asking a question I’m starting to think you weren’t aware of. It was very matter-of-fact. And polite. He said that he hoped he didn’t wake me up, but he wanted to know my opinion on sleeping with someone on the third or fourth date. Then something I didn’t understand about texts counting as a date.”
“Lord, Coop.” Sawyer closed his eyes. “He, um, thought that the emails and stuff should count as a date, so he’s counting this as our third date.”
I gestured between Sawyer and myself. “Our third date or all of us?” I wasn’t sure I was following the math.
Sawyer laughed, starting to relax. He pushed his dessert menu away and rested one elbow on the table, smiling. “He said he got to claim this one as well. So, third or fourth, depending on how the texts and stuff counted. He was petitioning to count them as two.”
“So that’s why he was so excited when I messaged back.” The flood of emojis and confusing text speech that didn’t contain nearly enough vowels let me know he was excited, but not why he was so thrilled.
“Um, what did you say to him?” Sawyer’s face grew blank, and he glanced down at the table. He looked like he wasn’t sure if he wanted to know the answer or not.
I didn’t want to lie, but I also wasn’t sure if telling him the truth would make him uncomfortable or not. “I told him that I thought the third date was perfectly reasonable for knowing if you wanted to sleep with someone as long as the people, the couple…group…as long as everyone was on the same page.”
Sawyer nodded slowly, and I saw his teeth start pulling at his bottom lip. Unsure how he was feeling, I kept going. “Are we all on the same page?”
Slowly, his head came up, and he looked at me, shrugging. “I don’t know.”
He was nervous, but I had to smile. “Cooper certainly knows.”
Sawyer laughed, his wide smile shining. “Cooper is very sure of what he wants.” Then Sawyer gave me a serious look. “You.”
Shaking my head, I corrected him. “Us. He wants us. You two are a family. That’s what he keeps telling me, and I can see that whenever you even talk about each other.”
“But there are things that he wants—that we want, and we need someone with us.” Sawyer’s nervous honesty was endearing but didn’t make the conversation any clearer.
“What happens when he’s more ready than you are?” Was that what he was worried about?
Sawyer was honest to a fault. “I might be ready. It’s just a big step.”
“You guys have never…” I flicked my hand back and forth, not sure how to ask if they’d ever invited someone else into their bedroom.
“No. We were waiting for the right guy.”
“Have you found the right guy?” I threw the question out there and then waited to see what he said.
“You boys decide what you want for dessert? Jackson, you always get the apple pie and vanilla ice cream, so I don’t even know why you’re still looking.”
We both jumped like a spider had landed right on the table. Alice looked at us like we were insane. “You boys all right?”
“Yes, sorry. I think we’ve worked out dessert. Sawyer, do you need another minute?”
He shook his head, looking down at the menu and then back up at Alice. She was an older woman who’d looked the same since I first started coming in years before. She never changed. Slightly impatient with a sharp tongue and long white hair that was always in a bun on the back of her head, she fit the atmosphere of the place.
Sawyer had been skeptical when we’d first walked in. The restaurant was in a bit of a transitional part of town, but considering it had been there for years, most of the regulars didn’t notice. When he’d seen the size of the burgers and how perfect the fries were, he made his apologies.
“No, I’m good. I’m going to get the lemon meringue.” Alice reached for his menu, and he smiled. “Thank you.”
“The usual, Jackson?” She gave me a look like even asking that question was ridiculous.
“No, I think I’d like to try the S’mores pie you said was so good.”
Her eyes opened, and she looked between Sawyer and me. “Trying new things, I see.” Then she nodded and walked away.
“Was that…” Sawyer didn’t seem to know what to say. “Does she know you’re gay?”
“Yes.” I’d never hidden it, and I knew how fortunate I was when it came to that part of my life. “She tried to fix me up with her daughter when I first started coming in. When I explained about being gay, she dragged a nephew over who she said was on the fence and needed someone to talk to.”
“Did you date him?” Sawyer was smiling and curious. A bit of his age showing and maybe his outlook on things in general, because there was no judgment or awkwardness from potentially asking about someone who might have been an old boyfriend.
I shook my head. “He was young, but a very innocent young if you know what I mean. The dynamics were wrong. I did have several long talks with him and gave him his first kiss from a man. He’s married to a dentist now, and they have two kids. Alice normally gives me updates and even pulls out the pictures, but I guess she could tell that it wouldn’t be that appropriate to do in front of you.”
“We look like we’re…dating, huh?” I wasn’t exactly sure what to call us either, but his label worked for now. Especially in public.
“I think so. Does that bother you?”
He shook his head decisively. “No, neither Cooper or I want to keep our…the person we’re dating hidden away once it’s serious. I work behind the scenes, and I’m hoping my boss won’t notice until I’m a little higher up in the company. And Cooper’s boss is really open-minded, so I don’t think we have anything to worry about. What about you? Eventually, we’re going to run into one of your clients.”
I wasn’t going to deny the thought had fazed me just a little, but I thought it was worth the risk. “I’m ready to settle down, and I’m past the point where the preconceived notions about how I thought a relationship should look matters. I might end up shocking some of my clients, but for the most part, I don’t remember the last time one of them asked me about who I was dating, or if I was even married. We keep the classes and training sessions focused on the dogs. I don’t think that will change. And for the people who matter in my life, they’re going to be a little surprised, but that’s about it. Not that I plan on disclosing everything. I think some parts of our relationship should remain private unless we are in very specific situations.”
I know it was something we’d already discussed, but I wanted us both clear on that. The BDSM aspect and the puppy-play lifestyle were things that I didn’t need to share with anyone. Especially people who wouldn’t get it.
“Cooper said you guys talked about going to meetings or events that are into…well, you know.” He glanced around the restaurant, trying to make sure we weren’t being too loud.
“We did. I’m on the fence. I think I’m going to have to see how it feels between the three of us first. I’m not pushing the idea completely aside, though. From what I’ve read, it’s a very social scene.” And not necessarily overwhelmingly sexual. There seemed to be a variety of ways people embraced the scene, and some made me more comfortable than others.
Sawyer nodded. “I think it would be more of Cooper’s thing than mine, but maybe…” His voice trailed off and he shrugged. I was kind of at the same place mentally, so I nodded.
“It’s not something we have to figure out anytime soon.” Before I could add anything else, Alice was back with our desserts.
She was still shaking her head. “Must be the end of times if you’re not getting apple pie.” Then she glanced at Sawyer and gave him a long look. “You must be good for him, sweetie.”
Sawyer blushed and looked away, mumbling a low thank-you that made her smile as she walked away. I laughed. “She likes you.”
He picked up his fork and turned his gaze to me. “Will she like me when she eventually meets Cooper?”
“I think so. She’s never going to let me eat apple pie again, though.”
He grinned. “Not so vanilla anymore.”
“It looks that way.” I wasn’t sure if he was going to turn the conversation back to where it had been headed before Alice interrupted or if I needed to be the one to bring it up. BDSM rules seemed to vary between couples, and I wasn’t sure where they stood on the more take-charge aspect of the lifestyle outside of the bedroom.
Neither one of them had an issue when I made the dessert decision last time, but everything else was still up in the air. Once Sawyer was a little more comfortable, we needed more discussions. And making a list might not be a bad idea.
I must have looked odd, because he grinned at me and cocked his head. “What were you thinking?”
Smiling, I shrugged. “About making a list of questions and topics I want to discuss with you guys at some point. BDSM things, for the most part.”
Clearly not expecting that answer, his fork tilted, and the bite of pie slipped off the end back onto the plate. “Oh, um, that’s good. There are probably lots of questions going through your mind.”
“Yes, most can wait until we’re all more comfortable. But I need you to be honest and tell me if I’m overstepping my bounds, or if I’m giving you more room than you want. It’s going to take me a while to understand how much of a master you’re really looking for.” Every time I said the word or talked about the lifestyle, it got easier, but I still worried that I sounded like a vanilla geek trying to talk to the cool kids.
Sawyer didn’t seem to think it came across as ridiculous, because he nodded and shifted in his seat a little. Poking at his pie, he focused on the table. “Asking for more is going to be hard for me, but I’m betting Cooper runs his mouth enough that you’ll know what I need. But I am going to try. Consent and everything, but it’s not that easy.”
“I can understand that.” Taking a bite, I tried to give him some space to relax again and sort out his thoughts.
After a few more minutes and the last half of his pie, he glanced up at me again. “You know, Cooper would probably love a piece of that chocolate layer cake on the menu.”
“All that ganache and icing will have him bouncing off the walls.”
“Yes, but if you stopped by the house for a while tonight and gave it to him, I’m sure his thank-you would be memorable.” Sawyer blushed a little. “He certainly took your instructions about apologizing to me very seriously.”
“I heard, in long, torturously detailed texts. He even managed to bring it up in two different phone calls.” If the coffee shop job ever fell through, I was going to encourage him to go into writing. He’d make a fortune selling erotica.
Sawyer gave a low laugh. “He said he was going to.”
“And you didn’t object?” Cooper had implied that Sawyer knew, and I was guessing that it was something that they’d discussed, but I’d wanted to be sure.
Sawyer glanced down at his empty plate and pushed his fork through the crumbs. “No. He, um, made it sound like sharing it with you was a good idea.”
Considering that we both knew Cooper’s focus had been Sawyer, he had to have known that Cooper would describe every sexy detail about Sawyer’s reactions. I wasn’t ashamed to say that I’d jerked off for days to the images he’d put in my head.
“I think bringing him back dessert will be a good idea.” Then I reached over and took Sawyer’s free hand, wrapping mine around his. “But just because he’s excited and ready, doesn’t mean you have to be. Is that all right with you?”
How was I supposed to ask if it was okay if I had sex with Cooper?
Cooper’s texts had been getting more and more X-rated, and while I loved it, I knew he wasn’t going to be satisfied with just a kiss on the cheek. Sawyer flashed me a wicked grin. “He is certainly excited. And ready.”
And that still hadn’t answered my question.
Was it a Dom moment, or was I supposed to let Sawyer talk it out in his own time? They really needed to make a Cliffs Notes version of what they wanted in a master and a boyfriend. “How will you feel if Cooper takes things further than you’re comfortable with? I’m assuming you want to be there and…watch?”
The conversation was starting to delve into new territories for me.
Sawyer took pity on me though and didn’t make me figure out another way to ask. He nodded slowly and watched me carefully. “For right now, we do things like that together. Eventually, it will be different, but to begin with, I want to be there. And I’m good with Cooper being the focus. If I want to join in for more than kissing and stuff, I’ll let you know.”
“I don’t want to guess wrong and upset anyone or push you into something you’re not ready for. If you need to take a step back with whatever is happening, I want you to do it, and don’t worry. I’ll be more hurt if you don’t let me know there’s a problem.”
“So, safeword time?” He looked skeptical. “I know we’re not planning on doing anything crazy, but just to be sure?”
“Yes.” That would be a great idea. “Stoplight system for now since that’s what I’ve read about the most, but eventually, we can work out our own.”
“Deal.” Sawyer looked nervous still, but more relieved. “Are you ready to head back to our place, or was there something else you wanted to do tonight?”
“I’m not sure what movies are playing or anything, but why don’t we head back to your place now and figure out something to do this weekend? After he gets off work later that night, maybe?” There were endless things to do around the city. We just needed to look for some options that would appeal to everyone.
“Sounds good. There are a few new movies out, but Cooper would pout if we saw one of his favorites without him.” Sawyer laughed. “I don’t want to live with that for the next week.”
“I’ll have to make sure I have a good bribe ready if we end up doing something like that without him then.”
“Or a good punishment.” Sawyer blushed a little but pushed through. “He’d, um, probably like that too.”
I had to nod and grin. “I got a few emails that spelled that out very clearly.”
“He’s just a little excited.”
“And not worried about jumping in right away.” Cooper had so many fantasies and desires that he’d shared; I wasn’t sure where to start first. Nothing was crazy or too much, but I wanted to make it perfect for him.
Sawyer shrugged. “I say let him jump in. He didn’t have much of a dating life before we became a family, so I think you should give him everything you think he’d want.”
“Why didn’t he date much?” There were so many questions I wanted to ask, but I wasn’t sure what would be a land mine and what would be an innocent topic. Just the little things they’d said made it clear they didn’t have anyone else.
“His parents were really conservative. They didn’t come right out and say anything about him being gay, but they made it clear he was too young to date and things like that. I think they probably would have been just as nuts if he’d been straight, but they seemed to be even more careful with him after he came out.” Sawyer took a sip of his water and started playing with his fork again.
“He didn’t push back because he realized he was different from the other gay guys he knew. I explained stuff as best I could, but I was still figuring some things out, so it never occurred to me to talk to him about kinkier stuff.” Another drink gave Sawyer a few seconds to gather his thoughts. “By the time he was ready to date and explore things, his parents put a hold on anything they saw as dating. I was only allowed near him because he said we were just friends, and we never gave them any reason not to believe it. We were just buddies then.”
“I bet you were there for him more than any other friend would have been.” Just from hearing him talk and the look on his face, that was obvious.
Sawyer smiled. “He was so innocent when he started high school and so small I had to stick close to keep him out of trouble.”
I was starting to get the idea that we were heading into trickier territory with the story, so I was glad when Alice came up to the table again. “You boys ready for the check?”
“Yes, ma’am, but can I get a piece of the chocolate cake to go?”
She gave me a long look. “You that hungry?”
Laughing, I shook my head and decided to go for it. She wasn’t going to let it drop, anyway. “No, Cooper’s waiting for us at their house”—I gestured to a wide-eyed Sawyer—“because he had to work late, so this will be a nice surprise.”
The wily old woman gave me a knowing look. “Nice to think of his roommate.”
“No, he’s our other boyfriend.” And it was out.
Sawyer was waiting for the ceiling to come crashing down, but she grinned. “I got a book like that at home. I’ll get you boys a big piece to take to your fella.”
Alice walked off, still grinning and mumbling something about how she wished things had been different back in her day. I had to laugh. She’d have been hell on wheels when she was young no matter what the social norms had been then.
Shaking his head and clearly trying to figure out what had happened, Sawyer watched her walk away. He and Cooper must have had a difficult time growing up, but I was glad he was getting to see that there were people out there who wouldn’t care.
And then there were dirty old ladies who were going to have entirely too much fun caring.
“I think I’m going to have to get some book recommendations from Melissa. Maybe even Alice too.”
Sawyer laughed and shook his head. “Don’t forget to ask Cooper. He’s got dirty stuff on that phone of his—ebooks, pictures, everything you could think of. We don’t ever let him open picture apps in public…if you get my drift.”
“That doesn’t surprise me at all.” I looked over at Alice who was starting to head back in our direction. Giving his hand one last squeeze, I reached over and ran a finger down his cheek, trying to convey without words everything that was going through my head. “You ready to go home?”
His smile that time was tender and seemed more confident, but I hoped I wasn’t just seeing what I wanted to. His thumb ran over the back of my hand, that little touch sending shivers up my spine, and he nodded. “Yes, I’m ready.”