Sam

“Oh my God! What happened to your face?” Sam asked when she saw Zander at school the next day.

“Devon,” he grumbled, and then winced from the pain.

“Devon did that to you?” she asked in disbelief. She’d never seen Devon lift a finger to harm anyone! “What did you do to him?”

“Thanks for the vote of confidence,” Zander replied.

“No-sorry-I didn’t mean . . . it’s just—”

“It’s alright. I guess I wasn’t totally innocent.”

“Is he okay?”

Zander grunted. “You see my face all black and purple and you ask how’s the other bloke? Real nice, Boston.”

Sam’s face fell.

“Ah, come on. I’m only teasing. He’s fine. I think it did him some good to get his frustrations out.”

“Yeah, but on your face?”

Zander brushed it off like it wasn’t a big deal that his nose looked broken. “At least he actually did something rather than sulking around all day.”

“Is that what he does?”

Zander shrugged. “Who knows? All I know is I guess I’m not going to the Grad Ball, looking like this.”

“You don’t think it’ll look better by then?”

“By tomorrow? No. Not unless you got a dress ugly enough to outshine my face.”

Sam laughed, “You never know. One might exist.”

“In your closet?” he asked.

She shook her head.

“Yeah, I didn’t think so. Well, anyway, if ya change your mind, here’s my number,” he said, swiping her phone and typing his number in.

* * *

“You can NOT go to the dance with Zander!” Megan squawked. “I forbid it!”

“You forbid it?” Sam scoffed. “What are you, Queen Cersei now?”

“Ew, no! Everyone knows I’d be Arya Stark. Game of Thrones aside, I’m serious. You’re not going out with Zander.”

“I didn’t say I was, Meg.”

“But you were thinking about it.”

“I don’t know. Maybe. You’re the one who’s always telling me to go out and have fun. You’re going to be here in three weeks and I don’t even know where to take you. I’ve been to Dublin twice.”

“I don’t care! You’re supposed to go to the dance with Devon,” Meg whined.

“Yeah, well he doesn’t want to go with me,” Sam said shortly. “He won’t even talk to me.”

“But he’s in love with you,” she protested. Megan still didn’t know about Sam and Devon’s one night of romance, but somehow she didn’t need to. She was convinced they belonged together.

“I don’t know, Meg.”

“I do! Just admit you love him too! I’m not blind. I spent weeks video chatting with you both and I saw the way he looked at you.”

She rolled her eyes. “How did he look at me?”

“Like he hung every star in the sky for you.”

Sam burst into tears, because it was true. He had looked at her like that. And she didn’t see it until it was too late. And now, Devon was gone, and she didn’t know how to get him back.

“Shit, Sam. Don’t cry. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you cry.”

“I know. But you’re right. And now he doesn’t look at me at all. He won’t even talk to me and I haven’t seen him in almost a month. I don’t know what to do.”

“I know, Sam. I wish I could come right now and give you a hug.”

“Me too.” Sam sniffled. “I just want to come home. I can’t do this anymore.”

“Don’t give up yet, Sam. I know it’s going to work out. You guys are meant to be.”

“You don’t get it, Meg. Maybe we were, but everything’s ruined now.”

“Sam, it’s not ruined. Everything is going to be okay. You just need to give him time and then everything will go back to how it was before.”

“Megan, it can’t!”

“Why not?”

“Because I had sex with him! And now he won’t even talk to me. Nothing is going to be okay.”

Megan was speechless as Sam sobbed uncontrollably.

After a while, Megan finally spoke. “Listen to me, Sam.” Her voice was soft. “I’m so sorry it happened like this. But please don’t give up on Devon. I know you both love each other.”

“I don’t think I’m cut out for love.”

* * *

After Sam collected herself from her tearful conversation with Megan, she went downstairs to see if there was anything to eat. Her stomach constantly felt empty and raw, but whenever she tried to eat, she lost her appetite. Still, at least going downstairs to pretend to eat gave her something to do.

Sam’s bedroom was on the second floor of the little cottage her father rented. It was fully furnished so they were able to move right in, but after a month, she still wasn’t used to it. She felt like a nun, living a silent life of exile. Okay that was a bit dramatic—but her father was always working so she pretty much felt like she lived alone. He had an office downstairs off of the kitchen. The only other rooms were his bedroom and a tiny living room. But Sam never went in either. They only made her feel more alone. She pretty much lived in her room, making brief escapes to the kitchen for food.

She scrounged around in the freezer. The only thing that looked edible was a frozen pizza. But pizza made her think of Devon. Pretty much everything made her think of Devon. Hunger won out. She unwrapped the pizza and put it in the oven, sulking at the counter while it baked.

Sam’s father walked into the kitchen smiling. “Hey, honey. I thought I heard someone down here. Whatcha making?”

“Pizza.”

“Enough to share with your old dad?”

“Sure.”

He sat at the counter next to her, giving her that look. The one that meant he was trying to think of something fatherly to say. “How was your soccer game tonight?”

“It was last night.”

“Oh. That’s what I meant.”

Sure. “It was fine. We won.”

“That’s great, honey.”

Grand. Devon would’ve said it was grand that they won.

Damn it! Now she was thinking about Devon again and her eyes welled up. She tried to get up before her father noticed, but she already felt his hand on her arm.

“Sam,” he said quietly. “I want you to be happy. You know that, right?”

She wiped her eyes. “Of course, Dad.”

“I really thought you were starting to like it here. But lately . . . I just haven’t seen you like this in a long time. And it makes me think . . .” he stopped and pushed his glasses up to rub the bridge of his nose. “It makes me think I did the wrong thing by bringing you here.”

“Dad,” she whispered, praying her voice would hold out. “I really, really want to go home.”

“Boston?” he asked.

“Yeah.”

“Okay, sweetie.”

“Okay? Really?”

“Yeah. You said you’d try and you did. You’ve gotten straight A’s and you’re graduating next week, right?”

“Tomorrow, Dad. Graduation is tomorrow. I’ll have my diploma.”

“I’m proud of you, Sam. I know coming back here wasn’t easy. I guess I just hoped we were ready to come home. But maybe it was stupid to think Ireland could be home without Elizabeth.”

Sam’s eyes spilled over. He actually said her name. Her father never spoke her mother’s name. “It wasn’t stupid, Dad.”

He pulled her into a hug and she let him. “I love you, honey.”

“I love you too, Dad.”

* * *

“I swear to God, Meg! He said I can come home whenever I want!”

Megan looked concerned. “You’re gonna wait ‘til I come to visit though, right?”

“Yes, of course, but isn’t that the best news? I never thought I’d be so happy that Eddington murdered us with classes for their stupid early testing. But I’ll have my diploma tomorrow and after you come visit I can fly home with you!”

“Sam, that’s amazing!”

“I know! I’m so happy.”

“And that’s really what you want?”

“Yes. I just need to leave this semester behind me. It’ll be the four months we don’t talk about.”

Megan smiled tightly. “The term-that-shall-not-be-named.”

“Exactly!” Sam smiled. “I feel like I can breathe again.”

“You’re sure about leaving Ireland, and everything in it?” Megan asked.

“Yes, Meg. It’s for the best.”

“You know you’re going to have to tell him.”

“I know. But I don’t want to think about Devon right now. I just want to be happy. And I know you think I shouldn’t, but I might go to the Grad party thing. At least for a little while. Just to celebrate that this is finally over and I’ll have my life back.”

Meg forced a smile. “You should. You deserve to be happy, Sam.”