Chapter Eight
Clifford slammed the door behind himself as he entered his home. He winced as the windows rattled, and let out a deep sigh. Really, he should have left his temper at the office. With the threats to Lori and their child, though, he had let his office work slide. Today was proof of it. Everything in this latest case seemed to be going wrong.
Voices came from upstairs, but he ignored them as he headed for the bar. A nice stiff drink was just what he needed. It was next to impossible for shifters to get drunk, but there was something to be said about the placebo effect. The voices got louder, coming down the stairs. Clifford poured himself a scotch over rocks and pressed the glass to his forehead. What a day.
“I am too,” Lori’s voice came to him from the stairs.
“No. It’s not safe.” That was Tristen.
Clifford’s hand tightened on the glass. What was this about now? It had been days since Tristen arrived, and the two had been at loggerheads ever since. After the day he’d had, he wasn't sure he had the strength to deal with them.
“Listen to me,” Tristen growled. The tone made Clifford’s own bear growl in reply and he sat up straighter as the other two entered the room. Tristen looked pissed. “There has already been an attack here. On this house. You can’t--"
“Watch me.”
Tristen gave him a side glance and threw his hands into the air. It looked so funny coming from the hardened navy officer he knew Tristen to be that Clifford couldn't help but snort. His bear growled again. It was mollified for now, but it wouldn't take much to fire it up again.
“What is going on?”
“That man is holding me hostage here.” Lori pointed at Tristen.
His bear roared back to life. The desire to attack his old friend was so strong and sudden that Clifford was on his feet, a snarl ripping through his chest before he could stop himself. He froze at Lori’s expression as she gasped. Something cold and wet ran over his fingers, and he realized he had cracked the glass from holding it so tight. Swallowing, Clifford set the glass down. Lori was probably just exaggerating like she did when she was upset.
“Care to explain yourself, Tristen?” Clifford’s tone came out in a growl. What was wrong with him?
To his surprise, Tristen smiled. “Protective instincts riding you hard, huh?”
“That is not an answer to my question.”
Tristen shook his head. “Lori wants to go for a walk outside. I was merely telling her that I need to accompany her. There is no guarantee that Bauman has not been able to follow us here. It’s not safe to leave by herself.”
“And I told you that I don't want to go for a run.” Lori put her hands on her hips. “He ‘walked’ with me yesterday and hurried me along as though we were going to miss the Black Friday sale at Victoria’s Secret. I mean, seriously? What’s the rush?”
Clifford frowned at her this time. He could understand why this was getting on her nerves. Since Tristen’s arrival, everything had been quiet. Almost too quiet, in fact. But the threat was still out there, and it couldn't be ignored.
“He will have to walk slower, then.”
“I need some time alone. And not cramped up.” Lori folded her arms. “I need some space to think. My brain is all muddled and I just need breathing space.”
Clifford sighed. “I know. And I’m sorry. It’s just not safe.”
Her shoulders slumped and a pained look came over her face. “I know. I’m just so…”
Clifford walked to her and took her hand. “As soon as Bauman is taken care of--"
“then it will be safe.”
Clifford nodded.
Lori straightened. She put both hands on her hips and her eyes flashed. That was what had drawn him to her in the first place. She knew what she wanted and drove for it with single-minded purpose. Even now he couldn’t help but smile, even though she looked even angrier for it.
“You had better make it safe soon, Buster. Because I can’t sit around here like Rapunzel waiting for her prince. I hate fairy tales,” she added.
“I don’t think I make a good witch.” Clifford cocked his head to one side. Lori’s figure was starting to change subtly. Her stomach was rounding out and her breasts were much heavier. She had always been deliciously curvy but her curves were becoming more pronounced. His mouth watered for a taste. “Mind if I walk with you?” his voice came out husky and rumbling.
Lori’s brows rose.
Clifford grinned at her. Why should he hide what he wanted? It wasn’t as though he had made any efforts before now to hide it. On the other side of the room, Tristen groaned. He shook his head and mumbled something under his breath, causing both Clifford and Lori to frown at him.
“Do you really think that it’s a good idea for both of Bauman’s main targets to be out there together? Cliff, I know you’re a good fighter but if you’re ambushed—”
“I can take care of anything that comes my way.” Clifford gave Lori a wink. “I brought him in to look after you when I’m not here and suddenly he thinks that he’s babysitting me.”
“Babysit?” Tristen’s eyes flashed. “You call me doing the damn job that you asked me to do babysitting? I’m here as a favor, Clifford, and because you were worried about Lori’s safety. But if you’re going to just ignore everything I say, go ahead. I’m not your nanny.”
Clifford couldn’t help but wince. He hadn’t meant for it to come out like it had, but on the other hand, he also wasn’t too thrilled with Tristen’s attitude. He opened his mouth to apologize and Tristen only glared at him. Clifford shrugged. If he was going to act like that, he was welcome to it.
“I’m going to go find Serena. She wanted my help in her garden, anyway.”
“What?” Clifford stared after Tristen as the big bear stalked away.
Serena wanted him in the garden? That didn’t sound right… The garden was Serena’s domain. People were allowed to come in with express approval in order to be awed by the layout or one plant or another. They were never allowed to work in it, let alone just come in unannounced. Clifford’s brow furrowed. What the heck was going on there?
Lori brought him back to the present by tapping on his shoulder. “If you’re upset because he’s upset then—”
“I’m fine.”
She looped an arm through his. “Well, if you’re fine, then let’s go for that walk. I’d rather be alone, but I guess you’re better than Tristen and his paranoia.”
Clifford wouldn’t have put it that way, but he was glad that she was willing to have him with her. The truth was that the more time he spent with her, the more he wanted to spend with her. Up until now, it was mostly just sex between them. They didn’t talk about how they were or what they were feeling. It was all just on the desk or copy machine or in the bathroom. The more he got to know Lori and who she was, the more things changed.
He had been expecting that the conversation would be fun and easy, but it soon became clear that Lori had something on her mind. They hadn’t gone far into the falling twilight before she withdrew from him. Her arms wrapped around herself and there came a pained look on her face. Her gaze grew unfocused as her chin fell to her chest. Clifford touched her elbow, wanting to pull her from the funk that had settled on her, and she flinched away from him.
The flinch made him withdraw. Though he wanted to put his arms around her, he didn’t touch her. It made worry clench in his stomach, though. Things had been going well, or at least he had thought they were. While the whole situation was still new, he didn’t feel like they were running around in circles anymore.
Was it their lovemaking that had gotten her upset? Did she regret how close they were getting? Or was it that she didn’t feel the same way he did? Could she see how he was starting to feel and didn’t share those feelings?
Clifford swallowed hard. She had to see how good they were for each other. If she didn’t want to give them a try, he’d have to find a way to convince her to do it. He needed her to give them a try. Needed it.
He took her elbow. This time she didn’t flinch and he was glad for it. “We need to talk.”
“Yes. We do.” Lori threw back her shoulders and lifted her chin. “I’ve been thinking a lot. Maybe too much. But the more this thing progresses, the more I realize I made a mistake.”
Clifford’s breath left his lungs. What was she saying?
“I don’t want to give up this baby. Not even to you, Clifford. I know that it changes everything. I know that I’m not exactly the most stable, financially. But I want to keep this baby. Before I told you I was determined that I was going to keep it and when you said you wanted to be a father, I don’t know what happened to my brain.”
“Lori—”
“Let me finish.”
Clifford could see that it was important for her to say what was on her mind, so he nodded. Even though he was going to agree with her, he knew that this was something that she needed to vocalize.
Lori ran a hand through her hair. Her lip trembled but she quickly got hold of herself again. “All my life, I knew I was an unwanted baby. Maybe not as unwanted as Jasmine, but my mom didn’t want a daughter. She wanted a trophy. I don’t want that for my baby. But from the moment I realized I was pregnant, I was as happy as I was terrified. And I let my fears overcome me for a while there. But I don’t want this baby to think that just because it wasn’t planned, it wasn’t wanted.”
“I understand. I—”
Lori narrowed her eyes, and Clifford closed his mouth again. It was almost amusing, if she wasn’t clearly so emotional about the issue.
“I know I’m not the most obvious mother material. My life hasn’t exactly screamed responsible adult. But that’s all going to change. I’ve never been happy with the way I’ve lived my life. And it’s not like I want to just cut you out, either. I want joint custody. We can figure out what is best for the baby and us. I’m going to get a proper job and I will be a proper mother. I’ll—”
Clifford kissed her, cutting her off. Tears rolled down her cheeks and he wiped them away as he pulled back. He smiled at her, and the tension in her body eased. “Listen to me, Lori. I love that you want to be a mother. I would never make you give up the baby. I promise. We will work together on this.”
For a moment Lori stared at him as though she wasn’t sure how to respond. Then she threw her arms around him and kissed him hard and passionately. Her fingers dug into his hair and her body pressed against him. Clifford held her tightly back, his own heart so full it felt like it was going to burst. He had never felt this way before. Was it their shared child?
He didn’t know. He didn’t care. All he cared about was the woman in his arms. And the feeling that he never wanted to let her go.