Chapter 12

The word ‘fuck’ is a form of meditation. The more you say it, the more your throat chakra clears.

-True shit

Jessie

She was ignoring me again.

I glared at her back as she walked out of her shop, and I wondered if it would be inappropriate to snatch her up off the street and throw her on the back of my bike.

“Dad,” I heard my son call.

I looked up, startled to see him standing next to me.

“What?” I asked distractedly.

“Mom’s standing over there. We were calling your name for like two minutes but you’re so spaced out that you can’t even hear us. What’s going on?”

I finally peeled my eyes away from where Ellen was taking boxes out of the back of a moving truck and bringing them into her shop.

What the hell was she doing?

“Margot,” I said congenially, even though there was nothing more in the world that I didn’t want to do than talk to my ex-girlfriend who was still, obviously, a drug addict if the needle marks on her arms were anything to go by.

Disgust rolled through me, but I tried not to let it show.

My son was watching me closely, gauging my reaction, as was Margot. It was obvious she enjoyed the fact that she’d snuck up on me.

And that I was having to see her at all.

I’d been doing a bang up job at ignoring her and avoiding her when she spent time with Linc.

It was something I couldn’t fucking stand, but since, by law, I had to allow her visitation, there was nothing that I could do without taking her to court. And then they’d allow Linc to make the decision on whether or not he wanted to see her or not, but at this point, I knew he wasn’t fully convinced that she was all that bad.

But all we needed was time. Margot would fuck it up somehow.

I knew it. She knew it. Hell, even Linc knew it.

“Hello, Jessie,” Margot drawled. “I’ve missed seeing you these last few weeks.”

I surely doubted it.

We actually hated each other.

If there was ever a wrong person on this planet to have had a baby with sixteen years ago, having it with this woman was the worst possible choice.

The evil glint in her eyes only helped hammer that point home.

“How was dinner?” I asked my son, ignoring Margot’s snide comment.

“It was okay,” he said. “The place we were going to go to was packed because of the burger special they have every week, so we decided to go somewhere else. It wasn’t Pickle’s, though.”

What I was able to deduce from that statement was that Margot had done something last week to warrant them not going back this week. Because it didn’t matter how long the line was. I’d go to Pickle’s and stand in line for over an hour if it got me one of their burgers.

“Interesting,” I murmured. “Headed home?”

It was a school night, after all. And tomorrow was the last practice before the games started. Usually, that meant Linc would be in bed by ten, because he had to be at school by six in the morning for practice before school.

I could tell by Linc’s face, though, that they weren’t headed home.

At least not yet.

“No, we’re going to go to a movie.”

My brows rose. “Is that wise?”

Margot’s face twisted in anger.

“Yes, it’s necessary. Since he’s not going to be available on Saturday, we’re spending a little extra time together today.”

I wanted to laugh at the venom in Margot’s voice, but I knew it wouldn’t be the best idea.

She was already on edge, waiting for me to say something negative to her.

I wouldn’t be doing that.

Not tonight, and not in front of my son.

“Yeah, that’s fine,” I said. “But I would think you’d want to go to bed since you have to be up at five to get to school by six.”

Margot’s eyes narrowed.

“It’ll be fine,” Linc lied.

My lips kicked up in a sardonic smile.

“That’s what you said when you stayed out late with friends the night before your last practice. When you were late getting there, the coach made you run two miles.”

Linc’s face twisted at that memory.

“I threw up all over the ten yard line,” he grinned. “We’re not staying out too late. I’ll be home by ten thirty if we go now.”

Linc started toward his car, but Margot stayed.

“You won’t win, you know.”

My brows rose at her words.

“I won’t win what?” I questioned.

“You won’t win in turning him against me. I’m his mama. Mamas always win,” she snapped. “He’ll treat me like a queen once he goes big.”

I didn’t call her a liar like I wanted to.

I would’ve, however, addressed her misconceptions that she thought I would allow her to ride our son’s purse strings, but Ellen finally deigned to notice that I was sitting on my bike outside her door.

“Are you ever going to come in here, Jessie?” Ellen asked from behind me. “I feel like you’re watching my every move and it’s uncomfortable.”

My eyes left Margot’s to settle on Ellen, who was watching me with what was akin to worry.

Shit.

She recognized Margot. She had to.

She hadn’t changed that much, body wise, her face, however, looked like she was well beyond her thirty-two years of age. If I had my guess, I would say she looked to be near fifty years of age with all the lines, wear and tear.

“Yeah,” I said. “Be right in.”

I turned my eyes back to Margot to tell her goodbye, but the look in her eyes made me freeze.

It was one I knew all too well. The Margot ‘I’m going to fuck with you’ look.

“If it isn’t your little virgin bride. My, but you haven’t aged a year!” Margot called bawdily. “Oh, but Linc told me you were single and that you have been for the last fourteen years. Is that because of little ol’ me?”

My gut tightened.

Ellen’s face, equally, showed her anger.

“Margot. Long time no see!” Ellen said sarcastically. “My, but you’ve aged well.”

That was a lie.

Even I could tell that Margot wasn’t nearly as pretty as she used to be. Hell, even her clothes were trash compared to the riches she used to wear.

I got up off my bike and pocketed the keys before heading in Ellen’s direction.

I read Ellen’s face as I walked, and knew when Margot was about to do something.

“You know, he could’ve been mine,” Margot hissed. “I let you have him. Maybe I should take you back to court. Show all those judges and jurors what an inept parent you are.”

I stopped halfway to Ellen and turned, studying Margot’s face.

“He has food in his belly. He has a car. He gets straight As. There’s literally not a thing in the world that he wants for. So no, I won’t see a judge or any juror.”

“Oh, I’m sure I can think of something.”

“I can see you never took out the trash,” Ellen drawled as we watched Margot walk away.

I grunted.

“I did. She keeps picking herself back up and insinuating herself in my life,” I hesitated. “She’s also why I had to stay away from you once I realized that you were back in this area.”

Ellen’s lip curled in anger.

“That woman’s been making your life a living hell for way too long,” she grunted in affront. “Come inside. I can’t believe you’re letting your son even get close to that woman.”

I followed her inside and stopped when I saw a dog on the floor in the middle of her office.

“I’m not letting her do anything with my son. He’s sixteen, and he expressed interest in getting to know his mother. Since, technically, she still has visitation rights, I can’t do anything about it. And even if I did take it to court, Linc is at the age where he’s allowed to tell the court what he wants. And I know what he wants is to be able to see his mom,” I hesitated. “Big Papa thinks that I should let Margot show her true colors and allow him to figure it out by letting him spend time with her.”

I hunkered down next to the dog and stared at it.

“It’s a malamute or husky, I think,” she said. “I found it outside. And, as to your problem with Margot. I think Big Papa gave you some sound advice. Though I don’t see this ending well at all.”

I wholeheartedly agreed.

“I agree,” I told her. “Why don’t you know what kind of dog you have?”

She grimaced.

“It’s not mine,” she answered. “I really found it on the side of the road.”

I continued to look at the dog.

I didn’t care what she said, this wasn’t a dog at all. This was a wolf.

“Ellen, this is a wolf,” I told her. “Look at his fuckin’ eyes. They’re fucking glowing. Huskies don’t have gold eyes like this. They have blue.”

Ellen snorted. “Whatever. I don’t believe you.”

I ran my hand over the wolf’s coarse fur, and he pushed his little head into my hand.

“And I’m pretty sure they’re illegal as fuck to keep. Where did you find it again?”

Ellen started to open a box at the counter.

I looked up at her and watched as she removed what looked like a hundred pairs of colorful swatches.

“What’s that?” I asked.

“Leggings,” she answered. “I’ve decided to bolster my income by selling them.”

My brows rose.

“You’re struggling?” I asked.

She shrugged. “There’s not much need for an interior designer here.”

My belly clenched.

“Why did you do that and not get your medical degree like you always wanted to?” I questioned. “That was what you always planned. What happened?”

She frowned. “Life happened.”

I didn’t believe that for a second.

“Ellen…”

She sighed. “I tried. I started to…but I just couldn’t. I dropped out within the first year, found myself interested in this, and decided to pursue this career instead.”

That wasn’t all of it. I knew it. She knew I knew it. And she practically dared me to ask.

“What brought you back to Mooresville?” I asked. “Your brother’s here, yes, but why did you bring something like that to this small town?”

And expect it to prosper was the part of the questions that I didn’t air aloud.

But she knew what I was asking without my having to voice it.

“I needed a change. And Mooresville doesn’t have anything like what I’m offering. I thought it might be okay, but apparently, I was wrong,” she answered truthfully. “I’ve had a few customers, sure, but nowhere near what I need to have a profitable business here.”

My stomach clenched.

“What are you going to do?” I asked worriedly.

She started to unpack the box into a wicker basket that looked like it was used for laundry, and answered with, “I don’t know.”

I bit my lip, wondering if I should suggest what I wanted to suggest, or if it would be a bad idea.

“Why don’t you go back to school?” I asked.

She shot me a look.

“Don’t go there.”

I held up a hand. “It’s just that…”

“I said, don’t go there. Please.”

I sighed.

“What do you want to eat for dinner?” I asked.

Maybe I’d work up to asking about her plans for the future, once I fed her. Maybe then she’d respond. Right now, it was more than obvious that this was a discussion she didn’t want to have, and I’d give her that out…for now.

“I’m not sure that I realized we were having dinner together,” she answered, looking at me speculatively. “The only reason you’re in here at all is that I saw a knock-down, drag-out fight was about to go down between you and that nasty woman.”

My lips thinned.

“I fuckin’ hate her,” I admitted. “Down to my bones, I hate that woman. She’s ruined my entire life, and all because I made the colossal mistake of sleeping with her once, and only once.”

Ellen frowned. “I just don’t understand her obsession with you. You’d think, after sixteen years, all of this would be getting old to her. But today it looked like she had this vengeance within her. Like you’d wronged her somehow, and she’s going to make sure you never forget it by making your life a living hell.”

“I wish I understood it myself. I have no fuckin’ clue what’s driving that hatred. I’ve literally done nothing wrong,” I hesitated. “Other than refuse to get back together with her again. Though, at the time, it was due to the fact that I didn’t want to date someone who was into drugs.”

She crossed her arms under her chest and leaned against the counter, and I momentarily forgot what it was that we were talking about. The move pushed her breasts up, causing them to peek out of the top of her semi low-cut shirt.

“Was Linc addicted to drugs when he was born?”

I shook my head. “No. Once I found out about the baby, I made sure she cleaned herself up. I gave her all of the money that I got from working my part-time job. She was a good girl when she found out she was pregnant with our kid. I thought that having Linc would turn her around, but the minute she had him, she left the hospital without telling anyone, leaving me to raise Linc all by myself.”

She nodded.

Ellen knew that part.

“I just don’t understand why she would leave. There had to be another factor there. If she was clean, why would she leave her new baby behind like that?”

I shook my head.

“I don’t know,” I admitted. “I haven’t been able to ascertain her reasons after all this time, and I doubt she’ll reveal them to me now. The worst part is that she’s convinced that Linc is her ride to the good life. She’ll likely be on her best behavior now.”

Ellen snorted.

“No, what she’s probably going to do is drag him down to her level or get him in trouble by leaving drugs in his car.”

My mouth dropped open.

“You can’t tell me that you haven’t thought about that.”

My mind hadn’t gone there.

“I haven’t,” I said. “If she did that, he’d protect her, you know.”

My mind started whirling.

“Fuck!” I groaned as I dragged my hand down my face. “That would be something she’d do, too. I can totally see it now. He does something to piss her off. She leaves her shit in his car and then calls a tip in.” I shook my head. “She really is that much of a bitch. She tried to do that to me once, you know.”

She did know.

Margot had done that to me about a month after Ellen and I started hanging out. I’d taken her to the freakin’ hospital because she’d complained about belly pains, and the stupid person that I was, I’d given her that ride even though I’d known that I shouldn’t.

Two nights later, the cops came and searched my car.

Lucky for me, but unlucky for Margot, I’d cleaned out my car the day before because I’d moved the car seat to clean out underneath it and switch it with a booster seat. She’d, apparently, planted it in the car seat, just like the bitch she was.

And the cops had taken one look at my booster seat, which could hide absolutely nothing, and had left without another word.

Though, they had let the drug dog sniff around the car once before taking off.

Thank God trash pick-up had been earlier that day, or it would’ve still been at my house.

Because fucking Margot.

It was always all about Margot.

Before I could put much thought into it, I walked out the door, only to hear Ellen running after me.

“Where are you going?” she asked worriedly.

I looked at her over my shoulder.

“To make sure my son doesn’t do anything stupid.”

She bit her lip.

“If you’ll give me two seconds to put the puppy into the back storeroom, I’ll go with you.”

My heart started to speed in my chest.

She hadn’t been on the back of my bike in a very long time, and I wanted to have her on it more than my next breath. Her arms wrapped tight around my waist. Her head resting on my shoulder. Legs pressed snug against mine.

Yes, I wanted that badly. Very, very badly.

“I can wait,” I told her gruffly.

She dashed inside, and I watched as she picked up the wolf—no, definitely not a fucking husky—and took him into the back of her store where she’d put him away to make sure he didn’t get up to any mischief. She came back out moments later with her hair flying out behind her.

She stopped only long enough to lock the doors to her store and then pocketed the keys before she turned and hurried toward me.

She stopped directly next to me, those hazel eyes more brown than green tonight, and stared at me for a long second.

“My going with you doesn’t call a truce,” she said bluntly. “It’s only a ‘for now’ kind of thing. I still retain the right to be mad at you once we know that your son is okay.”

My lips twitched.

“Duly noted.”

She hopped on behind me, and I handed her my helmet, which she took. There was no arguing that she needed it on her part.

She knew better.

It’d been fourteen years, but she knew my stand on this.

If there was only one helmet, she’d have it on every single time. Why? Because her head was prettier than mine.

It was likely a simple truth, but the truth nonetheless.

If we were in a wreck on the bike, there’d be no way in hell that I could live with myself if anything had happened to Ellen because she didn’t have the helmet. At least, if I gave her the helmet, it meant that she had more of a chance if something were to go wrong.

But that was not the way to be thinking when you had your girl on the back of your bike for the first time in fourteen years, even if she was reluctantly along for the ride.

“Are we going to go?”

That was asked directly into my ear, and I shivered as I heard her whispered words so close to my neck. The place where she used to bury her face when I made her come. The place where she used to whisper all of her secrets, wishes and wants.

“Yeah,” I grunted, then started the bike up.

Her arms tightened around my gut at the roar of the motor, and she squealed when I dropped it into first and accelerated out of the parking lot.

Her shout of exultation was enough to make my entire heart feel like it exploded with happiness, unicorns, and fucking kittens.

It took me five minutes on the dot to get to the movie theater and thirty seconds to realize that neither Linc nor his mother were there.

“Son of a bitch,” I grumbled, pulling to a halt at the very back of the lot after making two quick rounds.

“How about you call him before you get all bent out of shape,” Ellen suggested.

I glanced up at her.

“I guess so,” I grumbled, pulling my phone out of my pocket.

Linc didn’t answer on the first ring. Nor the second. Not even on the fifth.

When I called a second time, he didn’t answer any of those times, either.

“Shit,” I grumbled. “Shit, piss, fuck, ass.”

Ellen giggled at my back, and I patted her leg.

“Not the time to laugh, darlin’,” I informed her. “How about you get on your phone and ask your girls to keep a lookout for him. I’ll call the boys.”

She did as I requested without texting.

“No Naomi?” I asked.

Ellen shook her head. “I don’t have her number.”

I frowned.

“She looked ready to move in the other day when I watched her go into your shop,” I pointed out.

Ellen bit her lip, and then shook her head.

“I sold her some stuff for their new house, but she returned all of it because Sean hadn’t liked the colors,” she explained.

I could read it on her face that wasn’t at all what she thought the real reason for returning those items was. Clearly Ellen thought it was because Sean didn’t want to have something of Ellen’s in his and Naomi’s home.

I, however, knew differently.

Ellen was still very much aware of those words that Sean had said to her, in a moment of panic, weeks and weeks ago, and it didn’t seem like she was any closer to letting it all go now than she was when those words had been said to her.

Before I could comment on the hurt I could see in her eyes, my phone rang, signaling one of the boys calling me back.

“You seen him?”

“I’m staring at your truck right now.”

Ghost.

He hadn’t been one of the ones I’d called myself, but apparently, Big Papa moved fast.

“Where is it at?”

The words he said next had the bottom dropping out of my stomach.

“At the hospital.”

My hand clenched on the handlebar of my bike, and I stared at the passing traffic on the road beyond and bit my lip. “You know if he’s okay?”

“I think it’s his mom,” he answered. “From what I was able to gather, there was an incident at the movies, and he had to drive her to the emergency room.”

“Fucking A,” I grunted. “Thank you. I’ll be there in five.”

We arrived in four minutes to find Ghost standing out front with my boy.

I parked under the portico and got off, walking quickly to my son.

“Dad…”

I gathered him up in my arms and squeezed him a little tighter than normal.

“Dad,” Linc wheezed. “I’m okay.”

I let go of him and pushed him slightly away, keeping my hands on his biceps as I studied his face.

“What happened?” I asked him.

“Mom…she…they won’t tell me anything other than she’s okay,” he admitted. “In the parking lot, she was acting funny. When we went to buy our tickets, she fell over and started to vomit all over herself. I did the only thing I could think of.”

I brought Linc back into my arms, then shoved him in the direction of my truck.

“Ellen,” I said, making eye contact with her. “Would you mind riding with Linc to your shop and showing him your not-really-a-husky?”

And keeping him busy.

The words weren’t voiced, but I knew she got my drift as she nodded and held out the crook of her arm.

Linc looked at her like she was crazy. “I’m supposed to offer you my arm,” he pointed out.

My lips quirked.

“Well, except for going out with Sean for awhile, I haven’t had a ‘man on my arm’ for a lot of years. Sorry, I forgot how that etiquette works,” she murmured, dropping her arm.

Linc offered her his arm, and she placed her fingers delicately along the toned muscles of my boy’s biceps.

My gut tightened at the mention of her not having a man, and I growled low in my throat.

“Ellen?”

Ellen stopped and turned, and I crooked my finger at her.

Her brows lowered, and she headed toward me with a curious look on her face.

“Yes?” she asked, looking at me nervously.

“I’ll have to show you what it’s like to have a man,” I informed her. “I’ll be back later. Let Linc take you to my place. Keep an eye on him, and if his fuckin’ mother tries to call, you tell her to call me.”

She stared at me wide-eyed and had been since I’d practically told her I would be her man.

So, without wasting any more time, I placed a chaste kiss—as chaste as I could do when it came to this particular woman—on her mouth and backed away.

She nodded, then started backing away without taking her eyes from me.

I grinned, then, without another word, turned on my heels and headed straight into the ER with anger a steady staccato at the back of my mind.

How could she? How fucking dare she? She’s a mother, for Christ’s sake. She seriously couldn’t do this shit when she had my son with her!

I walked up to the front desk, and stopped in front of a man that looked like he belonged there.

“I’m here to see Margot Tulane.”

The man behind the computer jumped, obviously startled, and placed his hand over his chest.

“You frightened me,” he murmured. “Let me look her up and see if she’s able to receive visitors.”

I waited, albeit impatiently, for him to type the info into the computer.

When his brows furrowed, he got up and walked to the door that separated him from the main part of the ER.

He pushed the door open and disappeared inside, but not far enough for me not to hear what was being said.

“You got that overdose stabilized yet?”

“Yes and no,” came the reply.

“Is she stable enough for visitors?”

“Yes. For now. But if she gets upset, they’ll be asked to leave.”

“10-4.”

“Is it the father?” I heard another person reply.

“I don’t know,” the man I’d spoken with said. “He’s fuckin’ scary. So maybe.”

I snorted.

Then the words that were said finally penetrated my angry mind.

“Sir?”

I looked up as my thoughts swirled inside my brain, and stared blankly at the man I’d walked up on earlier. “Yeah?”

“You can follow me.” He nodded his head in the direction of the room beyond him.

I nodded and fell in step behind him, my eyes taking in the large ER.

I’d never been back here before, thank God.

I’d been in the waiting room, but I’d never needed to be back here in the treatment area.

“She’s right through here,” he pointed to the blue curtain that was shielding what lay beyond it from the rest of the room.

I gave him a head nod and reached for the curtain.

The sight beyond it didn’t surprise me. Didn’t affect me in any way as it once would have.

Margot was lying in the bed, her bony body encased in a large beige and blue hospital gown that had some fucked up pattern on it that whomever made the damn thing obviously thought was nice. I didn’t know what the hell they were thinking, because it absolutely was not nice.

All it did was make the patient who was wearing it look pale as fuck.

Margot’s eyes were closed, and her head was facing away from where I’d entered through the curtain.

“You awake?” I barked.

Margot’s head whipped around, and she stared at me blankly for a few long seconds before her mouth turned up into a semblance of a smile. “You came.”

I snorted.

“Not really,” I grunted. “I came to make sure my kid was okay. It was only after I made sure that he was and then sent him home with my woman that I even gave you a second thought.”

Margot flinched.

“You shot up in the fucking car in between eating dinner with my boy and watching a fucking movie?” I didn’t beat around the bush, sickened that she would do something like that so close to our son.

She turned her head away.

I continued, not missing a beat.

“And you’re pregnant?”

The disgust in my words was evident, and she turned back toward me, her eyes filling up with tears.

“How did you know?”

My lip curled in revulsion.

“The nurse was kind enough to let me know.”

“It’s yours.”

Her heartbeat monitor started to beep faster.

I wanted to laugh at her.

I wouldn’t touch her with a ten-foot pole, even if she was dying and needed life saving measures. I’d never, not ever again, get involved with her shit.

“Negative,” I shook my head.

“Sir?”

“Get yourself straight, Margot. Don’t fuck this up.”

“I can’t help it. I don’t have the support that I did last time.”

Fucking wonderful.

“And you won’t have it from me or from our son either,” I informed her none too gently. “You’ll keep your poisoned claws out of my son, or I’ll do everything I can to get your visitation suspended so that if you do attempt to see him, you’ll be breaking the law.”

Margot’s tears spilled over.

“Sir, I’m going to have to ask you to leave.”

The nurse who’d spoken was the one who’d showed me back here. A woman in her mid-thirties.

“Gladly,” I backed away. “I don’t want to be here, anyway.”

I headed back outside to the parking lot, and once the hospital doors closed behind me, I dropped my head and looked at the ground.

That poor kid. That poor fuckin’ kid who’d done nothing wrong except have the misfortune to have been conceived by the wrong woman.

Goddammit.

Goddammit!