Chapter 18

I don’t even believe myself when I say I’m only going to have one glass of wine.

-Face of Life

Ellen

I nervously waited in the parking lot next to the other old ladies—who weren’t old, might I add—and fidgeted. I was working through whether or not to inform Jessie now or later about what happened with Margot, and I was clearly drawing the attention of the ladies at my side.

“So you never really told us what happened between you and Jessie,” Tally said. “It’s obvious that there was something there between the two of you before, but you’ve never really said anything about it.”

I looked at Naomi, warily, as she stared at me with the same curiosity.

“Jessie and I were together when we were in high school,” I murmured softly. “He left. End of story.”

“A woman like you doesn’t wait a lifetime and leave a man like Sean, for someone that she isn’t still in love with,” Naomi pointed out.

I cleared my suddenly dry throat.

“I still feel like there is this animosity between us, and I’m not entirely comfortable telling you more than I have,” I told her the truth. “That’s not to say that one day I won’t be, but you intimidate me.”

Tally snorted. Imogen, on the other hand, looked at me like I was nuts.

“Do you really think that’s going to stop us from getting the truth out of you?” she questioned. “We realize that you’re not entirely comfortable with us. You feel like you don’t belong, but that couldn’t be further from the truth. You’re just as much a part of us as anyone standing here. You may not be married in, but you’re ours.”

“I don’t know what you really want me to say that will make you feel better,” Naomi started almost the moment that Imogen finished. “Sean is my world. Though, he wouldn’t be if you hadn’t left him. I can’t say that I’m happy you caused him pain by leaving him, but I can say that I will forever be grateful that you knew it wasn’t right for you and left him before you broke him.”

I bit my lip.

“And,” she continued. “I don’t blame you for what happened to me.”

My eyes went wide.

How could she not blame me for what happened to her? She’d lost a child because I’d taken her away from her safe place. Sure, I’d done so on her insistence, but it’d still been my doing.

“I can see that you blame yourself, but you really shouldn’t,” Naomi murmured softly. “Everything that happened that night was of no one’s doing but a madman’s,” she explained. “Sure, it was more my fault that I went off and did something stupid, but in no way, shape or form did I ever blame you for what happened to me and neither should you.”

I looked down at my toes and wondered how long was acceptable to not say anything. Because had I opened my mouth right then, my voice would’ve cracked with unshed tears.

The gift this woman was giving me wasn’t something she realized yet.

I’d always been on the outside. Always.

In grade school, I’d been Tommy Tomirkanivov’s little sister who everyone thought was a little bit weird because she would rather read than play. In high school, I’d been the band geek who knew how to play a mean clarinet but was too scared to compete so I never went to any of the football games.

And then I’d met Jessie. He’d been the one and only person in my whole entire life that had known me for me. He hadn’t cared that I’d rather read than watch a movie. He hadn’t cared that I was a little on the weird side. He only cared about me.

I never once doubted his loyalty to me.

But he’d been the only person besides my family—and even they were iffy sometimes—who cared about me enough to bring me into his life.

And now, here were these women, offering me a place among them.

I didn’t know what the hell to say. I couldn’t form coherent thoughts.

“We’re all crazy here.” Tally threw her arm around me. “Welcome to the crazy girl club. The wine is fine.”

I snorted and tilted my head.

“Was that wine in your cup?” I challenged her.

Tally batted her eyelashes at me.

“I turned twenty-one. I should be able to drink whatever and whenever I want,” she shot back.

I snorted.

“I think that’s all kinds of illegal, but whatever floats your boat,” I eyed the Yeti tumbler in Tally’s hand, wondering if it did, indeed, contain wine.

“You’ll never know,” Tally teased, upending the cup and taking a healthy pull.

I giggled and turned away, surveyed the parking lot.

It was still going strong as the boys made their way out of the locker room.

I saw Linc and bit my lip, my eyes automatically moving to where Jessie stood next to the rest of the men who’d been able to come with us for this last game.

Jessie disentangled himself from the men and started toward his son. The moment the two of them were within arm’s reach, Jessie threw his arms around Linc and lifted him straight off his feet.

I found myself grinning widely as I watched them.

“Jessie makes me nervous.”

I looked over at Naomi.

“Really?”

She nodded.

“Me, too,” Tally said. “I tried to talk to him when I first met him, and he was so standoffish that I stopped trying almost immediately.”

I sighed.

“Jessie doesn’t talk much, even to me,” I finally explained. “He’s a quiet person who likes to watch and read the situation before he places himself in the middle of it. That’s not to say that he won’t hold a damn lengthy conversation with you if you ever pique his interest.”

“Are you saying that I’m boring, Ellen?” Tally drawled.

I shrugged. “He has particular tastes. Not to mention he doesn’t like chatter boxes.” I paused. “That really used to bother him when it came to his ex. He used to tell me that I was a breath of fresh air because I didn’t demand attention every single second of the day,” I snorted. “I don’t know if you noticed, but when he’s at parties, he’ll never be the center of attention. And God help you if you try to throw a surprise birthday party for him. I think if I ever tried that, he’d get up and leave.”

The wind kicked up then, blowing the game roster that I’d received at the front gate straight out of my hand.

“Shit,” I said, running after it.

The paper kept tumbling further and further away, and by the time I caught up with it next to the back of the bathrooms over thirty seconds later, I was over fifty feet away.

“Fucking crazy ass weather,” I grumbled to myself as I bent down to pick it up from where it’d stopped against the brick of the building.

“No.”

I froze when I heard the familiar bitchy voice of Margot.

“I can’t. I told him to do it, but I can’t help it if he didn’t listen to me.”

I looked over my shoulder to see how far away from the crowd I was and realized that the closest person to me was still a good distance away, and I doubted that they’d be able to hear me over the excitement of the crowd.

The damn band was playing their drums, and I could feel the pulse of it in my very bones.

But I could hear Margot talking to someone. Though, possibly it was due to the fact that the wind also shielded the worst of the wind from me, causing me to be able to hear a little better than I had when I was standing in the middle of the parking lot.

“Time for plan B, then,” the man suggested.

His voice sounded silky and smooth, almost as if he were a sophisticated, refined gentleman.

It was the voice of a man that I would never expect to be around Margot, let alone talk to her for any length of time.

“Plan B won’t happen for a while. I have to have this kid to use it as any kind of leverage against him.”

My mouth fell open.

Then I started to get angry.

I peeked around the corner very carefully, and nearly came face-to-face with a well-dressed man in a zipped up Under Armour pull over, slick black track pants and tennis shoes that would probably glow in the dark.

Lucky for me he was looking down, shielding his face from the wind that I could feel coming around the corner.

“I didn’t want this kid. You told me that you’d take care of it. When you didn’t, you then convinced me we could make some money; I trust that you can do that. However, I’m not going to lose my job over the fact that you can’t get your son to follow simple instructions,” the man seethed. “I’ve already fallen for too many of your tricks. I think it’s time for you to just pay me back, and we leave it at that.”

The sound of the band suddenly stopped, and that was when I saw the rain.

It was heading my way and soaking everyone still standing in the parking lot within seconds.

I cursed myself in my head and when I looked back at the two people who had been busy discussing whatever illegal things they’d been contemplating, they were gone. Both were running away, each in opposite directions.

I turned around and sprinted toward Jessie, who was looking for me with a slight frown marring his face.

The moment I came into view, his eyes took in my wet appearance, and gestured me over.

“Tommy came in his truck. You ride home with him, okay?” He pointed at my brother, who was waving me forward.

I nodded once quickly, my teeth starting to chatter.

“Go.”

Then he was sprinting to the opposite side of the parking lot where his bike was the only one left.

I watched only long enough to see him start it, and then the wind started to howl again, forcing me to get into my brother’s truck or risk dying from exposure.

The entire drive home I worried about him, even when I saw him and the other two men with him pull off under an overpass to block themselves from the rain.

***

The ride to Jessie’s place was slow, and by the time Tommy dropped me off after having done the same thing for Imogen and Naomi, I was damn near exhausted.

I trudged up to the front steps, and I was surprised to find the door already unlocked.

“Hey,” I said, startling when Linc yanked the door open for me.

He grinned.

“You look like a drowned cat,” he informed me.

I sidestepped him and bent down to pick up Achilles before turning to the child of the man I loved.

Linc read my expression, and the smile on his face dimmed.

I’d been thinking for well over an hour, and I didn’t know what to do. Didn’t know what would be the right way to approach what was on my mind.

Which was why I trudged right in, and I didn’t beat around the bush.

Jessie would’ve been proud of me.

“I need you to do me a favor,” I said to Linc. “I’m going to ask you this, and I want you to tell me the complete, honest to God’s truth. And, if you’re ready to share anything else with me, I’d be willing to listen.”

Linc looked up at me in surprise, his eyes wary.

“Yeah?”

I licked my lips nervously. “Did your mom tell you to throw the game?”

I’d surprised him. The look of shock written all over his face was enough to confirm the fact without him actually having to say the words. He didn’t realize that anyone knew, that was for sure.

“H-how…”

“Your mother made a comment,” I said. “Would you like to explain it better to me before I tell your dad?”

Linc’s jaw clenched.

“Do you have to?”

I nodded.

I did. He knew it. I knew it.

This relationship between me and Jessie was too new to not share something this important.

“I have to,” I murmured, taking a seat on the couch. “If I don’t, then this’ll always be sitting between us.”

He looked away, absently staring at the window while I assumed he tried to collect his thoughts.

“My mom’s a bitch.”

I didn’t say anything. There was nothing I could say to that. She was and always would be.

“I never wanted to see her.”

My brows rose at that, and I gestured to the couch. “Come sit down and tell me everything.”

“I’d need a beer to tell you everything,” he muttered under his breath.

So that was how I started getting Jessie’s sixteen-year-old son drunk.