Sam
What the fuck was I doing out here?
Aside from freezing my nuts off, that is.
From the hotel’s rooftop, I stared out at the snowcaps in the distance, my breath a white fog in front of me. I was standing here with my hands shoved in my pockets like an idiot while the girl of my dreams sat in a hotel room a few floors away probably wondering what the hell had just happened.
The sound of laughter broke into my thoughts and I shot a glance down at the crowd of twenty-somethings moving from pub to pub, probably in search of that midnight kiss or a quick lay.
That had been me, once. I’d been one of those guys surfing for quick, easy fun and meaningless sex to fill the time. But now?
It was the last thing on my mind.
The second I’d touched Maggie I knew I wouldn’t be able to stop myself until I had her. The need was all-consuming and it scared the ever-loving shit out of me.
Which, I supposed, was the real reason I’d ended up on the roof.
I’d crossed the line and shown her my true feelings, and whatever happened next was going to affect our relationship for the rest of time. What if this was just a moment of weakness for her? What if we took that next step and then, tomorrow, in the light of day, she was filled with regret?
It would kill me.
This was a terrible idea. The second our mouths touched, I knew it. If I loved her before, the way our bodies fit? The things those lips made me feel and want? It was a whole new level. Which meant, if it went bad, I was going to be in a world of pain. The kind that dragged you down into a deep, dark depression where you knew no one would ever compare.
The wind kicked up and I shuddered, squaring my shoulders against the gust.
What was she thinking down there all alone? She was probably as confused as I was. She’d always been the cautious one, running the numbers, checking the stats. I was the daredevil, and Mags was the angel by my side, making sure I was careful.
It was only then, as I stared out at the sheer wall of ice—a double black diamond—that I’d skied down earlier that it hit me like a load of bricks right in the gut.
What the actual fuck was I doing out here? When had I ever let fear hold me back? I was the guy who didn’t want to miss a thing. A risk-taker. And instead of taking the most important risk of my life, I was here in the cold on New Year’s Eve instead of telling the woman I loved how I felt.
And even better? Based on the way she’d kissed me? I had a real chance of having everything I’d ever wanted.
Maggie, totally mine.
That kiss, hot and sweet as it had been, solidified everything for me. Maggie wasn’t just some girl I’d lusted after. She was my forever. And the longer I stood here, the longer I was giving her time to second guess what I knew to be true—that we belonged together. She was willing to risk it. I’d never forgive myself if I was the one who chickened out.
A man on a mission, I headed back into the warm hotel and rubbed my hands together before punching the down button outside of the elevator. I had no idea what I was going to actually say once I got there—after all, if I hadn’t figured it out in eight years, I certainly wasn’t going to tonight. Whatever came out, came out. Consequences be damned.
The elevator door chimed and I made my way to the room, tugging the room key from my pocket. I swiped and stepped inside, knocking gently as I did so as not to startle her.
It didn’t matter though; she was reclined on the bed but her eyes were locked on the door. Our gazes collided instantly. Her eyes widened as she surveyed me, then she offered me a timid smile.
“You’re back.” she said.
She’d changed from her boxers and T-shirt into the hotel robe and for the life of me, it was all I could do not to cross the room and fling the terry cloth to the floor. But we needed to talk first.
I let out a deep breath. “Look, I want to apologize.”
“You don’t need—”
“I do, though. I’m sorry for the way I acted.”
Maggie looked taken aback for a moment, but then she slowly nodded, her face tinged with a sadness that was like a punch to the gut. “No, no, really, it’s okay. I totally understand. Weird moment. New Year’s and all… It can do that to a person. We can just forget it ever happened and go back to the way things were. It’s okay.”
“Go back to...?” I frowned at her, stomach clenching as each word she’d said was like a nail being hammered into my coffin. It took me a second to realize—or hope, at least—that she’d misunderstood me. “Oh, no, Mags. I’m not sorry for kissing you. I’m sorry I left you here all this time while I thought about it.”
I stepped a little closer to the bed. “The real question is, are you sorry I kissed you?”
She rolled the tip of her tongue over her bottom lip and then shook her head again. “No, I’m not. But, if you don’t regret it, then why did you leave?”
I speared a hand through my hair. “Because you’re not someone I can just fuck once and be okay with it. You’re…everything. And the longer I kissed you, the harder it was going to be to control myself. I don’t want to rush you. You just had a breakup. This…the feelings between us? It’s all new for you.”
“That’s okay, though. We can work through it together. It’s new for both of us,” she corrected, the sadness beginning to lift from her eyes.
I threw back my head and let out a harsh laugh. “Not.”
“What are you saying?” she asked, her brow knitting in confusion.
It was my leaping-out-of-that-plane moment, and I wasn’t going to blow it this time. “I’m saying that I have loved you every second of every day since you first passed me your drawings in Spanish class.”
She laughed at first but then when she saw my solemn expression, the laughter died and the truth dawned in her eyes. “Sam… That was eight years ago.”
“I know exactly how long it’s been.” I took another step toward her and tugged her to her feet, sweeping her into my arms until her breasts were pressed tight against my chest. “I know exactly how many nights I spent with you in separate beds. I know exactly how many mornings I woke up without you by my side. And, what I’m saying, Mags, is that I’m done waiting.”
Burying one hand in her hair, I leaned down and planted a soft kiss on her lips, loving the feel of her tongue as it swept out and begged me for more.
I shook my head. “I can’t make love to you tonight until I know where you stand.”
She searched my gaze. “I’m in shock, to be honest.” She chewed her bottom lip and I could feel her body trembling against mine. “Knowing that you’re…that you… All this time? And I never knew. Plus, things just ended with Trevor. How could I have been so blind? What if I fuck this up?”
This was the Mags I knew. Cautious Maggie. Careful Maggie. But if ever I needed her to trust me, it was now.
“He wasn’t right for you.” I gestured between us and ran my thumb over her bottom lip. “This is right.”
“I think I know that,” she murmured. “At least, I know it feels so natural. So obvious. I guess I’m just scared.”
“Of what?”
“Me. And you. These feelings.” She shook her head. “There are so many things that I admire...that I love about you. Your talent and your sense of adventure and the way you look after me. You’re a better man than I deserve.”
“Nobody on earth is good enough for you.” I kissed her again, this time allowing her to swirl her tongue with mine so I could taste the sweet champagne on her breath. And as soon as we fell into each other’s arms?
There was no way we were stopping this time. Slowly, she guided me back toward the bed and, as her knees buckled against the mattress, I asked her again. Once more for good measure.
“What do you want, Maggie?”
“You, Sam. Always you.”