BONUS CHAPTER

Julian

 

The sea calls to me. This is my sanctuary. Out at sea is the only place I feel safe. Only when I'm surrounded by nothing but emptiness am I able to breathe easily.

I am on my yacht, JD, in the middle of the Pacific Ocean, watching the seagulls above flying across the cloudless blue sky. Outside, the weather is chilly, although the forecast is expected to be perfect for the next few days.

I smile. Just enough time to work on my plan.

I stride back down to the cabin below, searching for the woman I brought with me on this trip.

She is still in bed, sleeping so peacefully, like she hasn’t a clue what danger lies ahead for her.

I don’t want to disturb her, but her siren calls to me.

I move closer, my feet only stopping when they reach the edge of the bed, where her naked body is tangled amongst those sheets.

I feel a stirring in my loins and my cock springs up.

Just post our vigorous lovemaking and I still want more.

My hand shakes as I reach to touch her. She is so precious and fragile; I don’t want to hurt her.

I lie beside her, cradling her close to me, gently winding my arm to envelop her in a tight hug.

My woman. My beautiful woman. She likes to call herself a seductress, with her chestnut hair draped to the side. Wasn’t that what she did, toying with her hair as she watched me gazing at her from across the dance floor three years ago? I like to call that mahogany, a rich hair color, hair I love to fist while I make love to her over and over.

Her long lashes are together, obscuring her green irises I love to gaze at when we make love. They deepen to an emerald shade whenever she wants me. Her skin is still flushed pink from last night’s lovemaking.

I inhale her scent again. My nose brushes across that sensitive skin at her nape, so smooth and supple against my touch. I love kissing her there, sucking her there, until she squirms and make such passionate expressions on her face.

I go to kiss her small, pink, pouty lips. I love those lips. Especially when wrapped around my cock. And that is what took place last night. She was on all fours, pumping my come into her mouth, sucking my cock all night long until her lips were swollen and bruised.

Does she know it kills me to act like this? Has she any idea how much I hate myself when I do this to her? I tried to push her away, but I keep finding myself in the same spot, luring her back into my trap.

Why does she have to be so beautiful? Why does she have to be so innocent and fucking love me so much? I know I hurt her. I could see it in her green eyes when she came into my room that night and overhead me talking to Melissa about our elaborate plan and success. At that time, all I could think about was fucking her, like that time when she teased me with my cock in her hands.

Does she know I’m a jealous person? God, it pained me so much when she was out dancing with Sebastian. I felt my breath dissipating slowly the longer she was out on that dance floor, Sebastian’s arms slung around her waist. I just wanted to rip his guts out and bash him to a pulp.

Does she know I’m possessive? Does she know I’m a fucked-up person who wants to fuck her, day in and day out, over and over, until she fully submits to me? Like right now. I want to be inside her. I want to kiss her. I want to take her in all different positions, just like last night, so she can no longer think of anyone else but my cock and me. I want to brand myself onto her, into her, so she only belongs to me.

I feel I might die if I don’t have her beside me. I feel I can't breathe if I can't be inside her. I want to own her again. I want to possess her again, like when we were good together.

Tears slide out of my eyes. I shake my head, shocked at how much love I have for this girl. I rain kisses on her lips, eyes, nose, cheeks, everywhere. Droplets of my tears wet her supple cheeks, but still I carry on, crying out my confession to her.

My woman. My beautiful woman. Please don’t hate me. Please forgive me for acting like this. I love you. I love you so much. I want to take everything back so we can go back to the way we used to be. Let our memories of me from Miami be the only loving memories inside your mind. Not this monster that hurt you, again and again. Let that memory of this monster be hidden deep inside your mind, never to resurface.

Tears continue to leak out of my eyes as I rest my head between her breasts, wanting to feel her naked flesh against mine, wanting to hear her heart beating inside her chest. Because I know if I can hear her heart, then I can survive another day.

This isn't how it was supposed to play out. She was only a small pawn I played in this game between them and me. I wasn't supposed to fall in love with her. I wasn't supposed to get trapped in her web of desire. But she made me fall hard. So hard I don’t think I can go back to the way I was before.

But I can't find happiness until my goal has been achieved. And until then, do I continue to act like a bastard, watching her wither while I’m also dying in pain slowly? Until then, do I lie in peace and tell her I love her.

The woman in my arms begins to stir. I falter, pulling back. Her eyes slowly flutter open. I wipe my tears to remove traces of my weakness.

And now it’s time for me to play that fucked-up monster again. I part her legs and enter her.

 

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