Thirty minutes after we’d left The Zipper, I was on my second beer and feeling practically euphoric. The combination of alcohol and the fading adrenaline rush from the carnival rides had put a smile on my face that would stay all night. On top of that, Finn had just texted that he’d brought the kids to the fair, and I couldn’t wait to see their happy faces.
“Hey, would you care if we met up with my brother and his kids?”
“Of course not.” Cole grinned, then drained the last of his beer.
I smiled and did the same, tossing my plastic cup in the trash on our way out of the beer garden.
As we stepped through the gate, Cole’s hand came to the small of my back. “Lead the way.”
A tingle traveled from his fingertips to my neck at the unfamiliar gesture. Jamie had never done that for me—guided me as we walked. He’d been more of a grab-my-hand-and-drag-me-behind-him kind of guy.
But I liked this with Cole. I liked that it was different. I liked that it was subtle. I liked that in a sea of people, it tied us together. And when his hand fell away a few steps later, I missed the pressure of his fingers as we walked through the Friday-night crowd back toward the rides.
Unlike when we’d arrived at the fairgrounds, the sight of bright lights and spinning rides didn’t make me nauseous. An enormous weight had been lifted now that we were done with this particular list item. From now on, I’d never feel compelled to do more than ride the Ferris wheel.
“Thanks again for coming with me tonight.” If not for Cole’s help, I doubt I would have made it through.
“Sure.” He nudged me with his elbow. “Thanks for not puking on me.”
I laughed just as I spotted Finn standing outside the gate to the small dinosaur-themed train. “There they are.” I pointed and changed directions.
“Ugh,” he groaned, glaring at the dinosaur cars.
He’d barely been able to fit on that ride. He’d had to sit in the caboose by himself because it was the only car big enough for his long legs. Even then, his knees had come up nearly to his chin. But he’d toughed it out through the four slow laps, and when we’d drawn a crowd of adults, staring at him with puzzled faces, Cole had just smiled and waved, pretending like it was no big deal that a grown man was on the kiddie train.
“You didn’t like this one?” I teased. “I think this was my favorite ride of the day.”
Cole scoffed. “My favorite part was when I got stuck trying to get out of the damn car.”
I laughed. I’d had to help him off the ride by holding his arm so he could balance as he yanked his feet free. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t laugh.” I tried to rein it in, but I couldn’t stop picturing the faces of the parents who had been watching. They’d had vise grips on their children as they watched Cole curse at the triceratops. “Did you see that one mother? She looked like she was about to call the cops on you.”
“Thank god she didn’t.” He shook his head. “I never would have lived that down at the station.”
I smiled up at him, conveying silent thanks. It was hard to believe that I’d had such an awful lunch with Jamie’s parents earlier. Cole had turned my whole day around by bringing me here.
Him, and doing this for Jamie.
Even though his parents were against it, today had reinforced my decision to finish the birthday list. No matter how much Debbie and Kyle objected, I was seeing this through. A year ago, nothing would have helped after such a bad encounter with Kyle and Debbie. I would have let it ruin my day, probably an entire week. But doing something fun, something for Jamie, had made it all go away.
“Aunt Poppy!” Kali screeched, waving wildly from her seat on the dinosaur train.
“Kali!” I waved back as I reached Finn’s side. My brother gave me a quick hug before I bent down to Max in his stroller. “How’s my Max?” I kissed his cheek.
“Pop, Pop.” He pointed to Kali. “Wook.”
“I see that. Isn’t it cool?”
He stared at his sister with a dazed look, probably wondering what she was doing or wishing he were old enough to follow.
I smiled and kissed him again, then stood just as Cole and Finn were shaking hands.
“I know you,” Finn said.
Cole nodded. “Cole Goodman.”
“Right.” Finn looked to me and then back to Cole, letting go of his hand. “Well, it’s nice to see you again under better circumstances.”
“Same to you. Is this your son?”
“This is Max.” I patted the stroller, then pointed to the ride. “And that’s Kali.”
“The mini-Molly?” Cole asked.
I smiled. “That’s the one.”
“What are you two doing here?” From Finn’s furrowed eyebrows, he wasn’t quite sure what to make of me and Cole, but I’d explain later.
“Well, your sister spent the better part of the afternoon dragging me along on every ride at the fair. Every. Single. One.” Cole circled his finger around, indicating each of the kiddie rides surrounding us.
“Yikes.” Finn chuckled. “How’d you even fit?”
Cole and I looked at each other, then burst out laughing. “Finn,” I held my side, “you should have seen him try and get into the little flying bumble bees. He had to beg the guy running the machine to even let him try. Then they had to balance the ride with me and a bunch of kids on the opposite arm. All of these people were standing around, glaring at Cole for being a pain. It was hilarious.”
Cole shook his head at my teasing. “I knew I should have snapped a picture of your green face when we were on The Zipper.”
“Sorry, Detective. You missed your chance, because that will never happen again.”
“You got her on The Zipper?” Finn’s eyes widened. “I’m impressed.”
Cole shrugged. “I can’t take much credit. She would have braved it with or without me.”
He had no idea how much I’d relied on him today, but I wasn’t going to debate that in front of my brother.
“So, you’re a detective now?” Finn asked Cole.
“Yeah. I got promoted about a year ago. What about you? What do you do?”
“I own a landscaping company here in town. We mostly do new construction, some mowing here and there.”
“Finn’s being modest,” I told Cole. “Alcott Landscaping is one of the biggest landscaping companies in the Gallatin Valley. And when he says new construction, he means that he designs the landscaping for some of the biggest homes in the area.”
Finn just shrugged. “It pays the bills.”
I was proud of Finn’s success, but it had come at a price. In my opinion, his dedication to his company had driven the wedge between him and Molly in the first place. He’d taken his design assistants out to dinners instead of his wife. He’d made sure everyone else’s lawn was mowed but forgotten to do his own, forcing Molly to do it herself. He’d spent late nights with his laptop instead of sleeping in bed next to her.
Alcott Landscaping had come above all others, except the kids. Finn might not have won awards as a husband, but he was a great dad. Even if their parents were divorced, Max and Kali had two parents who loved them unconditionally.
“Daddy! Aunt Poppy!” Kali screeched as the ride came to an end. She climbed out of her purple brontosaurus and came running down the platform and through the exit gate. “Did you see me? Did you see me?” She launched herself at Finn, giggling as he picked her up and threw her in the air.
“You did awesome! Was it fun?”
She nodded wildly. “Can I go again?”
“Sure. Did you want to do the dinosaur train again or try something else?” Finn smirked at Cole. “Aunt Poppy’s friend Cole said the bee ride was pretty fun.”
Kali looked at Cole but dismissed him completely, much too concerned about her fair rides than another adult in our huddle. “Hmmm.” She tapped her chin—something that was so stinking adorable I could hardly stand it. “Bees!”
“Bees!” Finn and I both cheered as Cole muttered, “Bees.”
I laughed and took the handle to Max’s stroller, leading the way to the other ride.
An hour later, Kali had been on every kiddie ride, I’d spent some quality time with my nephew, and Cole and Finn had made plans to meet up for a beer next week. My brother was man-crushing on Cole. Hard. And I couldn’t wait to razz him about it later.
“Can I do that one, Daddy? Pleeeeease?” Kali pointed to the Tilt-A-Whirl.
Finn shook his head. “You have to be taller to ride that one, baby.”
“But there’s a kid.” Kali’s eyes zeroed in on a kid not much taller than her riding with his dad.
“Saw that, did you?” Finn muttered and knelt down to look at his daughter. “You can’t go on that ride alone, and I didn’t buy myself any tickets. I’m sorry.”
“Finn, I’ve got a couple extra,” Cole said. “You can have them or I can take her.”
“Yay!” Kali squealed. “Can I go? Can I go, Daddy? Pleeeeease?”
Finn shook his head and clapped Cole on the shoulder. “She’s all yours. Good luck.”
Cole chuckled as Kali grabbed his hand and dragged him toward the ride. He smiled at me as my niece kept pulling. “At least I fit on this one.”
“Have fun!” Finn and I called to their backs.
As Cole and Kali took their place in line for the ride, Finn stepped closer to my side. “I like him.”
“No.” I feigned shock. “Really? I couldn’t tell by the way you were practically humping his leg.”
“Tease all you want. You like him too.”
Cole was still holding Kali’s hand, smiling down at her as they waited in line. “Yeah. I like him too. He’s a friend.”
“A friend? Come on. What’s going on with you two?”
I shrugged. “I ran into him at that karate class I went to last month. We’ve had a couple dinners together, and he’s helping me with some of the stuff on Jamie’s list.”
“And.”
“And he’s also looking into the murder case.”
“And.”
“And . . . that’s it. Nothing more. I just told you. He’s a friend.”
“Poppy,” Finn chided.
I mocked his tone. “Finn.”
“Be honest.”
The downside of being extremely close to my brother was that I never could slip anything past him. “Honestly? I don’t know.”
“Fair enough.” Finn waved to Kali as she smiled his way from the Tilt-A-Whirl car. She was sitting right next to Cole, her hands gripping the railing across their laps. And Cole was grinning at me.
The ride got started and I waved to them both as they started spinning.
“He likes you too. More than just a friend.”
I sighed. “I know.”
I didn’t want to lead Cole on. I knew he had feelings for me, just like I had feelings for him. But since I wasn’t sure how to deal with them, it was safer just to classify him as a friend.
Finn threw his arm around my shoulders and hugged me to his side. “It’s okay to always love Jamie.”
“I always will.” Always.
“But maybe you can love someone else too.”
Two years ago, I would have said absolutely not. I would have said that my love for Jamie was all-consuming and I’d never find room in my heart for anyone else. But now, I wasn’t as sure. At some point, I wanted more in my life. A family. Children. Love.
So instead of saying absolutely not, I whispered, “Maybe.”
Finn hugged me tighter. “Something to think about. Since Jamie was my best friend in the world, I feel like I’m qualified to say this. He would have liked Cole too.”
Finn’s right. You would have liked him, Jamie.
We stayed quiet as we watched Kali and Cole on the ride. By the time they came back, Kali had claimed Cole as her own, begging him to take her on one last ride. They did until all the ride tickets had disappeared and we were strolling through the midway, getting some drinks and buying the kids a late snack.
“We probably better get going,” Finn said after the minidonuts and fresh-squeezed lemonades were gone.
Kali was still running around us in circles—literally racing around our legs—but Max was about thirty seconds from falling asleep in his stroller. And from the circles under his eyes, Finn’s energy was fading fast too. He’d probably stayed up most of last night working.
“Do you want some help with bedtime tonight? I could come over and help with baths.”
Finn’s face lit up. “You wouldn’t mind?”
“Not at all. You can spend some time getting caught up.”
“I’ll take you up on it. I’m behind on a bid.”
That wasn’t surprising. While Molly had more time on her hands since the divorce, Finn was struggling to keep up at work. I’d never say it out loud, but this had been a good wake-up call for him. He’d taken for granted how much Molly had done to manage the kids and run their household. Now he was having to do it all himself—be Mr. Mom three days a week and Finn Alcott, landscape designer and entrepreneur.
But he was still my brother and I wanted to help him before he got worn out.
“I’ll walk you guys out.” Cole placed his hand on my back as we all started for the gravel parking lot.
I got the same tingle that I had earlier when he’d touched me there, liking it more the second time than I had the first.
When we reached the parking lot, Finn jerked his chin to a long row of cars. “I’m this way.”
“See you at the R Bar next week.” Cole shook his hand.
“Looking forward to it.” Finn smiled. “It was nice to see you again.”
“You too.” Cole looked to Kali and a sleeping Max. “Bye, kids.”
Kali ran over and hugged his knees. “Bye, Cole!”
With one last wave good-bye, Cole and I turned and crunched along the gravel toward where we’d parked our vehicles.
“Thanks again for going with me. It was fun.”
“You’re welcome.”
We reached my car and I stopped by the trunk. “So, what’s next?”
“How about dinner?”
I hesitated. When we were spending time together for the list, I had an excuse to see Cole. But dinner? The way he’d asked seemed much more like a date. But before I could think of a dodge, Cole spoke up first.
“It’s just dinner, Poppy.”
Just dinner. He was right. I was making more of dinner than it needed to be. “Sure. Any night next week you’re free, just let me know. We can either eat at the restaurant or go somewhere else.”
He grinned. “Not a lot of restaurants can compare to yours. In fact, I’ve pretty much lost my appetite for anything not served in a jar.”
I smiled. “Then I’ll see you next week.”
“It’s a date.”
Just like the last time he’d said those three words, my heart jumped.
And maybe one day, the stitch of guilt that came with it would go away.
“Hey!” I greeted Cole as he came striding into the restaurant.
It had been three weeks since the carnival, and Cole had become my favorite dinner companion. If we weren’t eating together at the restaurant, he’d meet me at Brad and Mia’s after my ukulele lessons.
Three weeks, and there had been only a handful of times when we’d had dinner apart.
The way my breath hitched when he smiled didn’t scare me anymore. I enjoyed the tingles he could conjure with the slightest touch. And I’d started to crave the way he sent my heart into overdrive with a heated stare from those green eyes.
It was a rush being around Cole. A rush I was learning to enjoy.
“You’re here early.” Not that I was unhappy to see his handsome face, but it was hours before our normal seven o’clock dinnertime.
“Change of plans.”
My smile fell at the frown on his face. “Uh-oh. Is everything okay?” I tensed, hoping he wasn’t here to deliver bad news about Jamie’s case.
“Remember I told you last week that I found a drive-in movie theater?”
I breathed a sigh of relief that he was here about the list, something he’d become nearly as dedicated to finishing as I was. “Yeah. Can you not go next weekend? Do you want to reschedule?”
“Something like that. We’re going now.”
“Now? I can’t go now.” I was needed at the restaurant.
“It’s now or never. I checked their schedule today, just to make sure we were on track for next weekend, and saw on their website that they’re closing early for the summer. I guess there was some sort of emergency in their family and they aren’t showing anything until next summer. Tonight’s their last night.”
“What? No!” The drive-in theater that he had found was the only one in the state, three hours from Bozeman in a small town called Lewistown. If we couldn’t make it to a movie there, then finishing that item on Jamie’s list was going to get a whole lot harder.
“We need to leave,” he checked his watch, “in ten minutes.”
“Shit.” I threw my hands in the air. “I can’t leave in ten minutes. Molly has the kids tonight and I’m the one closing.”
“What about Helen?” Cole jerked his chin to the part-time college student Molly had hired a couple weeks ago. Helen was clearing a table and blushed when she spotted Cole looking her way.
“She’s never closed by herself before.”
“Do you think she can do it?”
I shrugged. “Yeah. I guess so.” I’d trained her to close but most nights either Molly or I were here to help just in case.
“Then let her. What’s the worst that could happen?”
“Uh, my restaurant could burn down.”
He grinned. “That’s a risk you’re going to have to take if we’re going to make the previews.”
I sighed, weighing my options: trust my employee, or let Jamie down.
It wasn’t much of a choice.
“Okay, we’ll go. But I need a few minutes to walk her through it all.”
Ten minutes later, Helen was thrilled to be running the show tonight and I’d called in the other part-time worker just in case. The two of them should be able to handle the Friday night dinner rush, and I just hoped that I’d made enough food to last until tomorrow morning.
Walking out of the kitchen, I slung my purse over my shoulder and joined Cole by the counter. He was talking to a man who must have come in while I was in the back.
Not wanting to interrupt, I just smiled, but the stranger pulled me into their conversation.
“Hi.” He held out his hand but his eyes went to my chest. “How do you know Cole?”
Before I could answer, Cole stepped in. “This is Poppy Maysen, my girlfriend. She owns this place.”
The smile on my face faltered as I shook the man’s hand. He said something else to Cole, but I couldn’t hear it. The only thing in my ears was the word girlfriend in Cole’s deep voice.
“We’d better get going. See you around.” Cole nodded to the man, then placed his hand on the small of my back, steering me toward the door. “Asshole,” he muttered under his breath.
Too stunned to speak, I walked straight for the door, while that word just kept on ringing.
Girlfriend.
Was I his girlfriend? No, I couldn’t be his girlfriend. It was too soon. I was married. I was a wife. Wives weren’t girlfriends.
I couldn’t do that to Jamie.
“Poppy,” Cole opened the door to his truck for me when we got outside, “Helen has the restaurant covered tonight. You don’t have anything to worry about.”
I blinked at him but still didn’t have anything to say, so I climbed in his truck.
He thought I was worried about the restaurant. He had no idea the bomb he’d just dropped on me. That with one word, he’d erased all of the comfort and ease we’d found with each other these last few weeks.
That he’d just brought back a surge of crippling guilt.
A guilt that consumed me as we drove three hours in complete silence.
By the time Cole pulled into the lot to the theater, I was about ready to break. My head was throbbing and my stomach knotted. I was on the verge of jumping out of his truck and walking back to Bozeman just to prove that I was loyal to my husband.
My head was in such a state of turmoil, I barely noticed as Cole paid for our tickets, parked in an empty spot and slung a radio box over his window. What I did notice was his hand coming across the cab and carefully prying my fingers off my jeans.
“Poppy, look at me.”
I turned my neck and found his soft green eyes waiting. They were full of understanding. Of compassion. They made me want to cry just that much more.
“That guy in the restaurant is an asshole. I went to college with him, and the last thing I wanted was for him to hit on you or start coming to the restaurant on a regular basis because he thinks you’re available.”
“Okay.” I relaxed a bit, glad that at some point in the last three hours, Cole had guessed why I’d shut down.
“Someday, I’d like to call you my girlfriend and have you not go comatose, but I know we’re not there yet, so take a breath.”
I obeyed, holding his eyes as I let go of some tension.
“I know this, me, scares the shit out of you. I know you’ve been sitting there for three hours worrying yourself sick. But, Poppy,” he squeezed my hand, “this is just a movie.”
I felt my throat start to burn and my nose sting. “It’s not.” My feelings for Cole made this so much more than just a movie.
“It is. Tonight, it’s just a movie.” He laced his fingers with mine and turned to the screen.
I stared at his profile as the radio box filled the cab with sound.
Just a movie. What happened after the movie? What happened when it wasn’t just lunch or dinner or a movie? What happened when he wanted more?
Would I be ready?
I tore my eyes away from Cole’s handsome face and turned to the screen, blocking out the unspoken questions.
Tonight, it’s just a movie.
Except I never tried to take my hand away from Cole’s.
And he never let me go.