“Are you ready?” I asked Finn.
He rolled his eyes. “Is anyone ever ready to have water thrown in their face?”
“Okay. Here goes.”
With a flick of my wrist, I threw the water in my glass into my brother’s face. He frowned, blinking it out of his eyes before grabbing the towel off the kitchen table.
Behind me, Molly silently slid me another glass of water. The moment the towel dropped from Finn’s face, I threw the second glass.
“Hey!” he shouted, sputtering the water out of his mouth. “What was that for?”
I grinned, glad my secret attack had worked. “That was for calling Cole to come bail me out of jail.”
Finn shook his head and went back to the towel.
It had been a week since my time behind bars—something I didn’t care to ever repeat. I’d been a nervous wreck the entire time, wondering what the judge would do to punish Jimmy and me, and by the time I’d arrived at the courthouse this morning, not even Cole’s touch could settle my anxiety.
“You should be glad I called Cole.” Finn tossed down the towel. “If he hadn’t convinced you and Jimmy not to commit perjury, things would have turned out a lot worse.”
I scoffed. “I never would have let Jimmy take the blame.”
No matter what Jimmy had wanted, I’d always planned to tell the truth and plead guilty—something else I didn’t care to ever repeat.
Never in my life had I been more humiliated than this morning as I’d stood in front of a judge and admitted to pulling a fire alarm, all because I was trying to honor my late husband’s birthday list.
“It’s over now.” Molly patted my shoulder. “You’ve paid the fine and marked the item off the list. Fire alarm,” she made a checkmark in the air, “check.”
After the hearing, Cole had gone back to the station while Jimmy and I had waited to pay our fines. I’d handed over a two-thousand-dollar check to the courthouse clerk, then taken Jimmy back to The Rainbow. The minute I’d gotten back to the restaurant, I’d pulled out the journal and crossed that item off the list. No tears. No twinge of sadness or longing. Just a grimace followed by pure joy that I’d never plot a crime again.
“No more misdemeanors, okay?” Finn asked.
“Promise.” I crossed my heart. “Thanks for letting me throw water in your face. I’m glad to know my brother is here to support me when my friends let me down.”
I shot an exaggerated glare at Molly but she laughed it off. “Some of us require makeup to get through the day.”
I’d begged Molly to let me do it, but she’d refused, claiming her mascara and foundation would not be victims of Jamie’s birthday list. So when Finn had come in with a clean face and a hungry belly, I’d given him a free lunch in exchange for his assistance.
“Okay. I’d better get back to work.” Finn came around the table and gave me a hug. Then he smiled at Molly. “See you tonight?”
Tonight? What was happening tonight?
She nodded. “Come over whenever. The kids are really excited.”
“I’m excited too.” He waved to us both before leaving the kitchen.
The second the door swung closed behind him, I spun on Molly. “Tonight?”
“He’s coming over for dinner.”
“What? That’s great!” My arms shot in the air. “Why didn’t you tell me earlier?”
She shrugged. “It’s no big deal.”
“Yes, it is. You two seem to be getting along great lately and now dinner. What if he wants to get back together?” My spirits nearly shot through the roof at the possibility of a Finn-and-Molly reconciliation.
“Poppy,” she sighed, “this is just a dinner for the kids. We’re not getting back together.”
“But you might.”
She shook her head. “No. We won’t. Finn is coming over for dinner tonight so we can show the kids that we can all get along, even if we don’t all live in the same house anymore.”
“Oh.” My spirits came crashing down. “Sorry.”
“It’s okay. We had a long talk a while ago and decided that we need to do a better job of putting the past behind us. We’re divorced but that doesn’t mean we can’t be friends.”
“Friends?”
“Friends,” she declared with a nod.
I didn’t buy Molly’s confidence. This friendship idea was Finn’s—I’d bet the restaurant on it. “Is that really what you want?”
“I’ll take anything he’ll give me just to get us past these awful last few months. He’s looking at me again. He’s starting to talk to me. And at the end of the day, if it makes it easier on the kids, then I’ll do whatever I have to do.”
Molly would put her heart through a meat grinder if that meant making Kali and Max smile. “Those kids are lucky to have such a wonderful mom.”
She smiled. “Finn and I love them so much, and they deserve better than we’ve given them lately.”
“Don’t be so hard on yourself. You’re doing your best.”
“We can do better.” She stepped away from my side to take a seat on one of the stools. “I actually have you to thank for Finn’s change lately.”
“Me? What did I do?”
“A lot, really. The night of the paint fight last month was the night he came over to talk about us being friends again. The kids had so much fun that day, laughing and playing. Maybe it was because we were there for you or for Jamie—I don’t know—but that was the first day in a long time that he acted like himself. No anger or resentment. Just the Finn I remembered.”
It had been like old times with them that day. We’d all had fun, and I was thrilled that Jamie’s list had given their family one day of joy. I just wished they could get over the past and find that joy every day. Did they even know how much they were missing?
Molly started fiddling with the towel Finn had used to dry his face. “I think he finally clued into how much the tension between us was impacting the kids.”
“He’s only got himself to blame for that. You’re always nice when he’s around, even when he’s acting like a jerk.”
“Don’t blame him. He’s just hurt.” Molly always defended Finn’s bad behavior, but I wasn’t quite as generous with my loveable, yet infuriating older brother.
“So you guys are going to start doing family dinners?”
“That’s the plan. Dinner a couple times a month. Trips to the museum. Things where the kids are the focal point and they can see us getting along.”
“Well . . . I guess the paint fight was more of a success than I’d thought. Maybe Jamie was watching down on us and was getting sick of Finn’s attitude too.”
Molly gave me a sad smile. “It definitely helped him open his eyes. But like I said, you’re the one I have to thank.”
“Because I filled the water balloons with paint?”
She shook her head. “Because you invited Cole.”
“I know Finn has a man-crush on Cole, but what does that have to do with his attitude adjustment?”
Molly set the towel aside to look me in the eyes. “Finn’s proud of you. We both are. You’ve overcome more than either of us can fathom. Losing Jamie, you could have lost yourself too. But you didn’t. You could have shut down and pushed everyone away—no one would have blamed you for it—but you didn’t. You put the pieces of your heart back together and are strong enough to trust Cole not to break it again. When Finn came over the night of the paint fight, he told me he wants that too. He wants to put the past behind us.”
Up went my spirits again. I knew it! Finn did want to work things out with Molly. He wanted to put their family back together. He was finally seeing how much he was missing. Molly was downplaying dinner, maybe she didn’t want to have false hope, but I think it was Finn’s way of slowly making amends.
I just wished he’d told me about it. I would have skipped that second glass of water to his face.
Molly read the hope on my face but shook her head. “Finn wants to move forward, but not with me. He told me that he’s ready to start dating again.”
And just like that, the hope I’d been clinging to for months and months was gone, leaving an empty hole inside my chest.
“No.” My voice cracked. Finn and Molly loved each other. They belonged together. “But . . . you’re Finn and Molly.”
Molly’s eyes flooded. “Not anymore. Now he’s single. And I’m a cheater.”
That word. Damn that word! Months and months of restraint—of being neutral and supportive—fizzled with a word I hated just as much as widow. “I hate that word! Why do you always say it? God, you toss it out all the time and it’s driving me crazy!”
“Me?” She jerked back, and the sadness on her face twisted into anger. “That’s your word.”
“My word?” My mouth fell open. “You think I’m a cheater?”
“What? No—”
“So all this time—all this time you’ve been telling me to go for it with Cole, but deep down you really think I’m cheating on Jamie. Nice.”
She’d pretended to be so supportive, but now I knew how she really felt.
I pushed away from the table, tears flooding my eyes, but before I could run for the office, Molly shot her hand across the table. “Poppy, wait! That’s not what I meant.”
My feet stopped as I met her gaze.
“You don’t remember, do you?” she whispered.
What was she talking about? “Remember what?”
“The day I told you that I’d had a one-night stand, you called me a cheater. You said, ‘How could you? I never thought my best friend would be a cheater.’ ”
I gasped and slapped my free hand over my mouth. I’d been so upset, so angry at Finn and Molly both, that I’d said a lot that day I hadn’t meant. And Molly had been holding on to that awful word all this time.
“Oh, Molly. Oh my god. I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean it like that. You’re not a cheater.”
She shrugged. “Sure I am.”
“No, you’re not. Not even close. You and Finn were all but divorced at that point. And you were so hurt. It was a mistake, not cheating.”
Molly studied my face, taken back by my declaration.
Had she spent all these months wrapping herself in my haphazard label, convincing herself she was a cheater? Had she been thinking less of herself all this time?
I wanted to go back in time and slap myself for being so careless with my words. For so deeply hurting my best friend and sister. But since that wasn’t possible, I wasn’t letting her leave this kitchen until she realized the truth.
Moving to her side, I lifted her hand off the table and pressed it between mine. “You are not a cheater.”
“I am.” Her chin started to quiver as she picked at a spot on the table with her free hand. “You said so yourself. Finn thinks it, even if he’s never said it. I am a cheater. That’s who I’ve become.”
“Molly, please look at me.”
Her eyes, swimming in tears, tipped up.
“You’re not a cheater. I don’t think that. No one does. Not even Finn.”
“He does.”
I shook my head. “He doesn’t. Never, not once, has he used that word around me. Has he ever said it to you?”
“No,” she whispered.
“Because you’re not. He might be hurt and still trying to figure things out, but Finn would never accuse you of cheating. He knows that you both made your mistakes. And I was wrong to call you a cheater. So, so wrong. And I’m so, so sorry.”
Her focus turned back to the table as she considered my apology. “Maybe you’re right. Maybe I just latched on to that word as a way to keep punishing myself. I don’t know. Regardless of what I call it, mistake or cheating, I’ll always be sorry.”
I let go of her hand to tuck her into my side and rest my cheek to her hair. “I’m sorry. For everything.”
She leaned further into my side. “I appreciate that. It’s time to let it go and move on. That’s what Finn wants. I should try and do the same.”
We stayed still, listening to the hum of the appliances and the noise filtering through the door from the dining room. And, though her heart was still hurting, I knew that after today, I wouldn’t be hearing the word cheater again.
I unwound my arm and leaned back against the table. “Why didn’t you tell me about your conversation with Finn sooner? The paint fight was last month.”
She caught a tear before it could smudge her mascara. “I just needed some time to process it all. Saying it out loud makes it real.”
“I’m sorry, Molly-moo,” I whispered.
“Me too.” She sniffled, fighting hard not to cry.
And if I cried, she’d cry too. Breathe. I needed to be strong for Molly. I gripped the table behind me, sucking in some air as I reined in my emotions. But on my exhale, my heart sank. I was just so . . . disappointed. In my brother. In my friend. In this whole situation.
These two were wasting love. They were throwing it all away because of some mistakes. Finn hadn’t learned anything from me. He hadn’t been paying attention at all these last five years. Because if he’d really been paying attention, he’d realize just how lucky he was.
He had someone he loved right here. Right here, waiting to love him back. He could hug her. He could kiss her. He could tell her things—things I’d never get to say to Jamie again.
Instead, he wanted to date.
Disappointment shifted into anger as I pictured Finn out with another woman. Dating.
Fuck dating. Fuck this whole thing. I loved my brother fiercely but he was making a huge mistake. And Molly didn’t need him if he didn’t see her for the flawed, beautiful, wonderful woman she was.
“You’ll be okay,” I declared.
Her shoulders pulled back. “Yes, I will. I have two beautiful children. I love my job. I get to work with my best friend every day. I’ll be more than okay. I just need to get through this.”
I reached out and took her hand. “Minute by minute.”
“Minute by minute.”
“Does this mean you’re going to start dating too?” Just the words made my stomach tense. In my eyes, Molly would always be Finn’s.
She shook her head. “If Finn wants to move on, I won’t hold him back, but I don’t have any interest in other men. Contrary to my mistake, he’s the only man in my heart.”
“I’m sorry.”
She gave me a sad smile and did what Molly did best—steered the conversation away from Finn. “Why would you ever think I’d accuse you of cheating on Jamie with Cole? You realize how ridiculous that sounds, don’t you?”
I ran both hands over my ponytail as I sighed. “Yes. Sorry. It just came out.” Apparently, I had a really bad habit of spewing nonsense when I was angry.
“Is there something going on we should talk about?”
“No.” I shook my head. “I just . . . things have changed so much with Cole. Between the kissing and sex. It’s just an adjustment.” One I didn’t regret, but still, an adjustment.
“It’s a big change.”
“A good one, though.” I reached across the table for her hand. “I’m sorry for getting angry.”
She nodded. “Me too.”
The kitchen door swung open, interrupting our conversation as Helen carried in a tub of dirty dishes.
“I’ll do those for you, Helen.” Molly sprang off her stool, forcing a smile as she took the tub from Helen. Without another word, she went to the sink and started washing.
Our conversation was over.
Finn and Molly Alcott were over.
I left Molly to her chore, returning with Helen to the front. I took up one of the back-corner tables and rolled silverware, attempting to process my swirling emotions.
Disappointment filled the empty hole where I’d once had hope. It settled heavily along with anger and sadness.
And loss.
Finn and Molly had started dating at the same time Jamie and I had gotten together. I couldn’t think of a party in college where the three of them hadn’t been by my side. Our foursome had done everything together. Made countless memories together.
But everything from back then was gone now. Jamie. His parents. Now Finn and Molly. Gone.
My mood was nearly black by the time I rolled the last bundle of silverware. I did my best to hide my feelings from Molly, but when she finally left to pick up the kids, I was relieved to see her go.
I plastered on a smile for the dinner crowd, but as customers began to dwindle, I took Helen up on her offer to close. I fled from the restaurant, wanting nothing more than a beer, some time cuddling with my puppy and Cole.
Driving straight to his house, I hoped he’d hold me for a while, but for the second time today, my hopes were dashed. When I used the remote he’d given me last month for the garage, I was greeted with an empty space where his truck should have been.
No Cole. No Nazboo.
But at least there was beer.
I went inside and grabbed one of my wheat beers from the fridge. I drank half the bottle just standing in the kitchen before going upstairs to take a long hot shower, hoping it would wash away my bad mood before Cole got home.
With the bottle tipped to my lips, I wasn’t paying attention as I walked into Cole’s bathroom. So when my feet got tangled in something on the floor, I let out a gurgled cry as I choked and tripped. I managed to keep my feet, stumbling but staying upright. However, the same could not be said for my beer. The bottle dropped from my hands and shattered on the marble tile, sending fizz everywhere.
“Grrr!” My yell echoed in the bathroom as I balled my hands into fists. “Hang up your damn towels!”
I spun around and marched downstairs to get a broom and dustpan. With fast, angry strokes, I swept up the broken glass and then used Cole’s towel to mop up the beer. I was just dumping the glass shards into the kitchen trash can when the door leading to the garage opened and Cole stepped inside, carrying Nazboo.
“Hey.” He smiled. “You’re here early. Slow night?”
I tossed the dustpan on the counter. “Would it kill you to hang up your towel in the morning instead of tossing it on the floor for me to trip over?”
The smile on his face disappeared as he blinked at me twice. Nazboo wiggled wildly in his arms, so he set her down. She romped over and licked my bare feet.
But not even my cute puppy snapped me out of my anger. I let her lick while I planted my hands on my hips and glared at Cole.
He ignored my scowl and took a step toward me. “What happened?”
I threw out an arm. “I went upstairs to take a shower but I tripped on one of your towels and broke the beer bottle I was carrying.”
“Did you get hurt?”
“No, I didn’t get hurt. This time. But what about tomorrow? Or the next day?” With flailing arms, I let go of a rant that had more to do with my emotional state than Cole’s towel. “You’re a slob. You leave shit all over the house and I’m sick to death of cleaning it up.”
“Slow down.” His jaw clenched as the gentle vanished from his voice. “I don’t expect you to pick up after me. But I’m not a slob. I’m just not a clean freak.”
“You think I’m a clean freak?” I didn’t give him a chance to respond. I bent down and scooped up Nazboo, then marched toward the door. “Fine. I’ll be a clean freak in my own house.”
I didn’t make it two steps before two strong arms banded around my shoulders, pulling me back.
One second Nazboo was in my arms and then she was back on the floor. The next second, Cole spun me around and slammed his mouth on mine.
I fought his kiss, keeping my lips pursed as he ran his tongue along the seam. But with every touch, the fire he stoked melted my resolve.
He growled against my lips—the vibration sending a shudder down my back—then his arms banded around me so he could hoist me up and haul me to the counter.
The cold from the marble seeped through my jeans, but it did nothing to temper the hot throb at my core. My fingers plunged into Cole’s hair, tugging and pulling his thick, dark strands. As I slanted my face, he took control of my mouth.
I moaned as his hands ran down my sides, pawing my breasts through my T-shirt and bra, then trailing down to the button on my jeans. There was no fumbling when it came to Cole’s hands. He flicked the button with one twist while sliding my zipper down with the other.
Five seconds was all it took him to unfasten my jeans, fist the waistband and yank them down over my ass and thighs. He did it all without breaking his mouth from mine. As his hands came to the hem of my shirt to whip it off, I kicked my jeans off my calves and onto the floor.
Naked except for my bra, Cole shoved my knees apart. His rough grip on my thighs pooled the desire between my legs. He released his hard clasp on my thighs, and with the lightest touch, he traced his fingers from my knees to my hips. I loved when he did this—when he’d alternate between reckless abandon and measured deliberation. The combination left me limp and pliable under those large hands. Completely at his mercy.
His fingertips changed directions, feathering down to my slit, as his tongue plundered my mouth. When he dipped his middle finger into my wetness, I moaned into his mouth. When he added his index finger, stroking me on the inside at the same time his thumb found my clit, I broke away from his lips, barely able to breathe.
“Cole. I need you.”
His answer was to plant his lips on the side of my neck and suck. Hard.
As his fingers worked in and out, my head lulled to the side. My legs trembled as they dangled off the counter, and with every stroke of his long fingers, he pushed me farther and farther to the edge. I was just about to come when Cole’s mouth left my skin and his fingers slid out.
My whimper just made him smile. He took a step back as I reached for him, smirking as he brought his hand to his mouth. Then, with his green eyes locked on mine, he sucked me off his fingers.
“Oh my god.” My pussy clenched.
Cole’s smirk grew as his fingers popped free from his mouth. Off came his shirt, the shallows between his peaked abs more pronounced than normal. He’d probably been at karate when I’d gotten here, working those muscles hard. But I didn’t let his abs distract me for long. Instead I followed the lines down and waited as Cole jerked off his jeans and black briefs.
When his hard cock sprang free, my pussy clenched again. I was so on edge—literally almost falling off the counter—I’d be coming around him by his third stroke.
It only took him two.
With one big stride forward, Cole grabbed my hips, bringing me onto his cock as he thrust inside, stretching me with a luscious burn.
When he pulled out and slammed back in, I cried out, the kitchen filling with sound as my orgasm washed over me in pulsing waves. My heels pressed into the cabinets underneath me as my toes curled in ecstasy.
“My pretty Poppy.” Cole ran his tongue along the shell of my ear, sending tingles down my neck.
I moaned again, clenching around Cole as his strokes picked up speed. My arms held on to his shoulders as he pounded hard, erasing all of the bad from my day. Because right here in this kitchen, all I cared about was us. Cole’s body inside mine. Him inside my heart.
He didn’t hold back as he kept thrusting. He didn’t take his time to build me up again—he was probably saving energy for a second round later. Cole squeezed his eyes shut and found his own release, spilling his hot come inside me as he tipped his head back and roared my name.
My arms wrapped around his neck as he fell into my chest. “We finally broke in the kitchen.”
He chuckled and held me tighter. “You’re not a clean freak.”
I kissed the top of his shoulder. “You’re not a slob.”
We stayed like that for a few moments, holding one another while Nazboo was off somewhere exploring the house. When she came back into the kitchen, Cole leaned back to meet my eyes.
“I’m sorry you tripped. I’ll work on the towel thing if you promise to work on the gum thing.”
“Gum thing?”
“You smack your gum. It drives me crazy.”
“What?” My eyes got wider. “I do not smack my gum.” Do I?
He grinned and kissed my forehead. “Do you still want to take a shower?”
“No.” I slumped against his chest. “I just want to go to bed.”
“All right.” He slid out and went to the towel drawer for a fresh washcloth. After he’d dampened it with warm water, he came back and cleaned me up. Then he scooped me up in his arms and carried me through the living room toward the stairs. Nazboo followed behind.
“We need to let her out.”
“I’ll do it.”
“Thanks.” I rested my head against his shoulder as he took me upstairs. Carefully setting me in bed, he went to the closet, coming back wearing a new pair of briefs and tossing me one of his T-shirts. I pulled it on and snuggled into bed while he went downstairs to take care of Nazboo and kennel her for the night.
When Cole returned, he brought all of our clothes with him, and I smiled as he dumped them into the hamper instead of on the floor of the walk-in closet. I kept my smile as he climbed into bed and tucked me against his naked chest.
“Do you want to tell me why you picked a fight with me tonight?”
I snuggled deeper. “My day went downhill after I left you at the courthouse.”
“I gathered that. What happened?”
As much as I hated to talk about other people while we were in bed, I also didn’t want to shut Cole out. I didn’t want him to think that he was the cause of my frustration, so I sighed and admitted why I’d been so upset. “Me and Molly kind of got into a fight.”
“Why?”
“Because I said something stupid. And because she and Finn aren’t getting back together.”
“Did you think they were?”
I nodded. “I had hope. Now it’s gone.”
“Sorry, beautiful.” He kissed my hair. “But don’t give up hope. They were right for one another at the time. They’ve got two awesome kids to prove it. It’s just, maybe the person they’ll be right for in the future is still to come.”
I closed my eyes and let out a breath as I contemplated his words.
Cole might be the most insightful person I’d ever met. It made him a great cop. A good man. The perfect one for me. And he was right. Just because Finn and Molly weren’t together, didn’t mean they wouldn’t find happiness with someone new. A happiness that would be the lasting kind, this time around.
Just like the kind of happiness I’d found with Cole.
I hadn’t understood it earlier at the restaurant—I’d been too upset to see things from Finn’s perspective—but now I understood why my brother wanted to date again. He knew he’d never get over Molly’s affair, and he didn’t want to spend his life alone.
He wanted to find love again too.
I snaked my arm across Cole’s waist and hugged him tight, breathing in the smell of his skin. “I’m glad you like to cuddle.”
“I don’t.”
I shot off his chest as my chin fell open. “What?”
“I don’t like to cuddle. Never have, not even with my mom when I was a kid.” He smiled at my wide eyes, then tugged me back down. “But I do like to cuddle with you.”
I collapsed back onto his chest. “Tonight has been . . . informative. Is there anything else I should know besides the gum smacking and cuddling?”
“I’ll keep you posted.”
“Thanks, Detective.” I patted his stomach, then began playing with the hairs on his chest. “How was your day?”
“Long,” he sighed, drawing circles on my hip. “But good.”
Cole had been working so hard lately. He’d get up just as early as I would and head into work while I went to the restaurant to bake before six. He was swamped with the drug task force and the other cases he had on his plate. But in these recent months, I’d avoided asking him about Jamie’s murder case.
I didn’t want him to think I didn’t have faith in his investigative skills. I didn’t want him to think I had false hope. But I was curious. I’d spent years getting updates from Detective Simmons—albeit the same update—every month. And though I trusted Cole to tell me if he’d learned anything, tonight, curiosity beat out patience.
“Have you, um, made any progress on the murder case?” I tensed as I waited for his response.
Cole’s hand on my hip froze. “There isn’t much I can share, but we’re doing our best. And we are working on it.”
“Okay.” His limited update was enough. “I’ve been thinking about something for a couple of weeks. I was wondering if you could do me a favor. A police kind of favor.”
“Okay,” he drawled.
“I want you to find the daughter of the woman that was killed with Jamie. The cashier.”
“Poppy—”
I lifted my head and cut him off. “I just want to know if she’s okay. I don’t need details or anything like that. Just a yes or no that she’s okay.”
His hand came to my face. “Why?”
I shrugged. “I’ve thought about her from time to time over the years. I’ve wondered where she was and how she dealt with the loss of her mother. I guess finishing Jamie’s list, letting go and getting on with my life has made me wonder if she’s found some closure too. I don’t have any power to find the man who killed them and make him pay, but I can at least make sure that her life hasn’t been ruined. Would you help me check on her?”
His thumb stroked my cheek. “In a heartbeat.”