Jarod
Later that evening I sit at my desk, alone except for the slumbering chickens, staring at a list of metal powders recently given to me by Professor Hawkkyn.
I’m passing Metallurgie now instead of barely passing, my Snake Elf professor turned into an unlikely ally, making me suddenly wonder if I’ve been told nothing but lies about his kind.
A few weeks ago Professor Hawkkyn called me aside, curious and thrown by my newly casual attire.
“You’re dressed like a Kelt,” he observed flatly as if I was plotting some dark scheme, the silvery glinting of his star eyes distracting me.
I straightened and held his silvered gaze. “Professor Kristian told me my clothes were made by Urisk slaves, so I decided not to wear them anymore.” I shrugged defensively. “Anyway, these are more comfortable.”
He stared at me for a long moment, and I was suddenly struck by how beautiful he is, each flat scale reflecting a kaleidoscope of stunning greens. “You know Jules Kristian?” he asked.
“Yes,” I replied, then knit my brow in question. “You...as well?”
Professor Hawkkyn broke into a dazzling, incredulous smile, his teeth snow white in contrast to his deep green scales. “Jules is...a good friend.” He considered me for another long moment, then spit out a short laugh, shook his head and expeditiously went back to correcting papers. “I rescind your second assignment, Elloren Gardner,” he said without looking up. “Just complete the first section.” He paused from his corrections, gave me a long, appraising look, then pulled a paper out from one of his folders and handed it to me.
I glanced at the list of metal powders as I took it from him, confused. “Are these...what we’re going to test the chelating agents on?”
He narrowed his star eyes at me. “No. It’s a list of metal powders that block ice magic. I thought that might be of some interest to you.”
I gaped at the list then at him, dark delight and overwhelming gratitude bubbling up. “I...I never knew about this. Does it really work?”
“Wand magic’s not the only power,” he replied in a low voice, his teeth set in another dazzling, dangerous grin.
* * *
I stare at the list in the quiet of my room, thinking of all the ways that I can now make myself impervious to Fallon’s low-level, yet still-constant bullying.
I’m interrupted by a tentative knock at my door.
Setting down my pen, I get up and open the door to find Aislinn, her eyes red and puffy.
“Aislinn, what’s the matter?” I ask, surprised.
“I—I need to talk to you,” she stammers.
I let her in and close the door behind us. She plops down onto my bed, her arms clasped protectively around herself, and begins to sob.
I sit down and put a comforting hand on her heaving back. “Aislinn, what’s wrong?”
“Jarod kissed me!” she blurts out, her tone deeply anguished.
My eyes fly open in surprise. I know how much Aislinn dislikes kissing.
“Did he force you?” I ask, a protective edge rearing up, along with strident disbelief that Jarod could be capable of such a thing.
“No,” she says, shaking her head. “No. It just...happened.”
Relief washes over me. “Then why are you so upset?”
“Because...I...” She doubles over as if in pain. I try to calm her down by shushing her and rubbing her back. She turns to me, her face soaked with tears. “I liked it!”
I blink at her, baffled. “That’s why you’re crying?”
“No,” she sobs, her voice stuffy. “That’s a lie. I didn’t just like it. I loved it. We kissed for over an hour,” she chokes out. “It was like heaven. I never knew. I’ve never felt that way before! I thought it was all made up. All those silly romantic ideas. I thought no one ever really felt that way. Oh, Elloren, my life is ruined!”
I shake my head vehemently. “It’s not ruined—”
“How can I ever be happy with Randall now? Now that I know what it’s like with Jarod? Why can’t Jarod be a Gardnerian? He’s Lupine, Elloren! Do you know what my family would do to me if they knew I’d spent the last hour kissing a Lupine? They’d disown me! I’d never see my mother again! My sisters! My nieces and nephews! I’d be all alone! I’m going to hell, Elloren! I’m an abomination!”
“You are not going to hell. You don’t really believe Jarod is evil, do you?”
“No!” she cries. “I just... My whole world is upside down. I should never have taken that class with him. Oh, Elloren, what am I going to do?”
“What happened,” I ask, “after he kissed you?” Ancient One, this is a complicated mess.
“I started crying,” she sobs. “And I ran away.”
I let out a long breath, dismayed. “Oh. Poor Jarod.”
That only makes her cry harder.
“What if your parents actually met him?” I venture, grasping for some hope. “Remember how we were scared of Jarod and Diana? Maybe if they saw how nice he is...”
“You don’t understand! You have no idea how strict they are! My father is Gardneria’s ambassador to the Lupines. He hates them. He has all sorts of...ideas about them!” She shakes her head vehemently. “I can’t be around Jarod anymore. I’ll just stay as far away from him as I possibly can.” Her head falls into her hands, her slender body racked with violent sobbing.
A knock at my door pulls my attention away. I get up and open the door to find Jarod standing in the hallway, not in tears, but still looking distraught.
“I need to talk to Aislinn,” he says.
I step out into the hallway and close the door. “I don’t think she wants to talk to you right now.”
“Can I talk to you, then?” he asks, his brow deeply furrowed. “She probably told you what happened.”
“She did. Jarod, she can’t be with a Lupine. She’d be disowned.”
“I’m in love with her, Elloren.”
My breath catches tight in my throat. Oh, Ancient One. There’s nothing but the deepest of sincerity in his amber eyes, his expression one of raw anguish.
I let out a deep sigh. “I respect that. I know your people don’t say that lightly.”
“No. We don’t,” he says. “I want to mate with her, Elloren. For life.”
Oh, Sweet Ancient One. “But you’re Lupine, Jarod, and she’s Gardnerian. Her family is incredibly conservative.”
“I don’t care,” he says. “I don’t care what she is. I don’t care who her family is. I love her. I can’t help it. I just do.”
He places one hand on his hip and brings the other to his temples, like he’s massaging a headache. He looks around blankly, then takes a seat on the hallway bench and drops his head into his hands. “This complicates my life as well, you know. My pack will accept outsiders, but they must become Lupine. If I were to take a Gardnerian female to mate before she became Lupine, I would cease to be a member of my pack. My family wouldn’t cut off contact with me like hers would, but I would not be allowed to return home until my mate became Lupine.”
I sit down next to him. “Aislinn doesn’t want to be Lupine, Jarod. She loves being a Gardnerian. And she loves her family very much.”
“I know.” He’s quiet for a moment, Aislinn’s muffled sobs audible through the door.
“Jarod,” I say, placing my hand on his shoulder. “Give her some time. She didn’t expect to like kissing you so much. It came as a bit of a shock. She always thought of kissing as a rather unpleasant chore, actually.”
“Randall’s an idiot,” Jarod snarls, exposing his gleaming canines. “When I think of him taking Aislinn to mate, I feel physically ill.”
I let out a long sigh. “I think she feels the same way.”
He gives me an imploring look. “Do you think she’ll speak to me again? Before she wandfasts to that fool?”
“I think so. But you might have to give her some time. I think she loves you, too, and it’s scaring her.”
“She’s the last person on Erthia I want to frighten.”
“I know that.”
“You’ll speak to her? You’ll tell her all this?”
I hesitate, but the devastation in his eyes softens me toward him. “I will.”
He breathes a long sigh of relief. “Thank you.”
* * *
When I return to my room, Aislinn has stopped crying and is sitting on the bed, staring straight ahead at nothing, a traumatized look in her glassy eyes.
“What did he say?” she asks, her voice flat and emotionless.
I sit down in my desk chair and lean forward to face her. “He says that he loves you. That he doesn’t care who your family is. That he still loves you. That he doesn’t care if his own pack disowns him. That he only wants you. For life. And that he never meant to cause you any pain.”
Aislinn begins to sob again. She closes her eyes tight as if her thoughts hurt, turns slowly and lies down on the bed, curling herself into a tight ball, her back to me.
I sit and watch her for a long moment, not sure what to do, heartbroken for the both of them. I blink back tears.
There’s nothing I can do. There’s no easy way out for either of them.
I wipe away my tears, blow out the lamp on my desk, pull a blanket over Aislinn, then lie down next to her and put my arm around her. Aislinn grasps hold of my arm with a firm, desperate grip.
I hold her for a long time, until she finally cries herself to sleep.