CHAPTER THIRTY
Lake
I’d always known I’d wind up in therapy one day. I didn’t go to Stephen; that would be too weird. Instead, I saw a woman recommended by Sara and approved by Stephen. I’d been going to her twice a week for a little over a month and was finally beginning to feel like something within me had shifted.
Dana, my therapist, was in her thirties and as close to a hippie as I’d ever met. Fortunately, she was also incredibly patient because she had to painstakingly prod memories I’d long buried from the deep recesses of my mind. And here I’d thought my abasement in front of the football team had been the big trauma in my life.
Gradually, with Dana’s gentle questions punctuated by excruciatingly long silences while she waited for me to answer, I’d remembered several incidences when my uncle Daniel had molested me as a boy, including one time when he’d spanked my bare butt.
The rest had been disturbing touches and inappropriate words, all of which had had a profound effect on my psyche. Seeing Daniel again as an adult, it was easy to spot his similarities to Matteo, and then to separate the two. While Matteo was charming in his mannerisms just like my uncle, he was not the vile pedophile whose memories of I’d suppressed.
“You should press charges against him,” Blaze said one night as I lay in his arms. Around us the noise in the clubhouse rose and fell with laughter and the sound of the foosball table knocking balls back and forth. Every once in a while, this was punctuated by an occasional curse word or whoop of victory. Inside Blaze’s room, however, it was dark and quiet, with cool sheets and naked, sweaty skin pressed as close as possible.
One of Blaze’s hands lay possessively on my right ass cheek while the other ran over the expanse of my bare back in soothing circles. He kissed the top of my head when I didn’t answer right away.
“I don’t want to go through that,” I finally said. I felt Blaze sigh. “Dana says I should confront him though.”
The hand on my back stilled. “Are you going to?”
“I think I need to. Not only to lay my demons to rest, but also to let my mother know why I refuse to work with him.”
“So, you’re going to tell her too?” Blaze asked, and I nodded against his chest.
He resumed stroking my back. “That’s very brave of you.”
I barked out a laugh. “There’s nothing brave about it. I’m scared to death.”
“I’ll go with you.”
I raised up and looked at him. “You will?”
“Of course.” His free hand balled into a fist. “I want to kill that motherfucker.”
“I know you do,” I whispered. I pressed a kiss to the corner of his full lips. “And I love you for it.” I lifted my eyes to his. He looked stunned.
I smiled. “What? Haven’t you figured out by now how I feel about you?”
Blaze pulled me against his chest so hard I grunted, and then he consumed my mouth in a kiss that set my head spinning.
“I love you too,” he said against my lips. “So damn much.”
I straddled him and sat up. “The fact that I love you is exactly why I don’t want you going to prison for killing my smarmy uncle.” I rubbed my ass provocatively over his cock.
Blaze ran his hands up my thighs and over my abdomen, thumbs seeking out and teasing my nipples.
“I would do it,” he said. “For you.”
I nodded. “I know. But that isn’t you, Blaze. You’re not a killer. You told me your brother didn’t want his MC to be all about violence.”
“Yes, but Tim also always believed in doing anything for family. And you’re my family.”
I smiled, reached back, and positioned his cock at my hole, sliding slowly down on it. We’d been tested and come out clean, so condoms had become a thing of the past between us. Still stretched and lubed from an hour ago when he’d pounded me into the mattress, I easily took his girth. I rode him until we were both breathing hard and on the edge.
Blaze’s fingers tightened on my hips, our eyes met, and we both exploded, most of my cum landing on his chin and neck while his shot into me in hot spurts I swore I could feel coating my insides.
When I sank onto the mattress, Blaze turned so we lay nose to nose on our sides.
“What happened to your brother?” I asked.
“He was killed by a rival MC. Matteo got revenge for that.”
I ran my hand over Blaze’s broad chest. “How is that any different from the Pistons leader wanting revenge for his girlfriend’s death?”
“Easy. Because if anyone killed her, it was J. And he died with her. Spoons wants retribution, not revenge. If Matteo hadn’t done something about the guy who murdered Tim, our MC would have looked weak. Then we would have been targets and either ended up with half of us dead or our club dismantled.”
I frowned. “So, it was okay for Matteo to kill the guy?”
“He didn’t kill him. He got revenge. Sent him up the river for a crime he didn’t commit because we couldn’t pin Tim’s murder on him.”
“He set him up.”
“Right.”
I guessed that was as good an answer to the problem as any.
“When are you going to do this?” Blaze asked after a moment.
I twirled a couple strands of his dark chest hair around my finger. “As soon as possible. I want to get it over with.”
“Where?”
“At my mother’s. Daniel’s staying with her.”
Blaze was quiet a moment. “Have you gotten the impression your mom and Daniel are…involved?”
I stilled. “What?”
“I just kind of got that feeling when we had dinner with them that night,” Blaze explained.
“How?”
“He was rubbing the back of her neck with his finger. I don’t know, it seemed like something. I could be wrong, but I don’t think I am.”
I sat up. “I don’t really care. I mean, my parents didn’t have a great marriage, and we already know my uncle’s scum. I just wonder how my mother will take the news if she’s with him like that.” He looked down. “I also kind of hate to bring this up when she’s finally talking to me.”
Blaze touched my leg. “She needs to know, and you need to get this out.”
I nodded, knowing it was true.
Blaze pulled me down for a kiss.
Determination solidified within me. I was going to do this, and I would get through it with Blaze there with me.
***
My mother seated us all on the back porch, a patio heater chasing away the evening chill. I remembered playing on the porch when I was a kid, half-listening to my parents talk over cocktails. I was glad we were outside because none of the instances I’d recalled during therapy of my time with my uncle had involved the back porch.
When we were settled with coffee and Bailey’s, my mother smiled pleasantly at me.
“I assume you’re here because you’ve decided to work at the company with Daniel. It’s taken a while, but I’m glad you’ve come around.”
“Actually, Mom, I’m not here about that. I’m here because I want to talk to Daniel about something else.” I felt as though a rock had formed in the bottom of my stomach. I wished I wasn’t sitting there. I reached for Blaze’s hand, and as he gripped mine, I got the courage I needed to do what I had to do.
Looking into my uncle’s eyes, I said, “I remember what you did to me when I was a kid. How you held me on your lap and touched me. How you said I was…” I swallowed, having trouble continuing. Daniel was frowning and my mother looked confused. Blaze squeezed my hand encouragingly.
“How you said I was your good boy. How you got me to touch you.”
“Lake,” Daniel glanced at my mother and then back at me. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. Could this be something you’ve imagined over the years? Is—”
“No!” I interrupted. “I didn’t imagine it. You did those things, and it’s messed me up. I’ve had panic attacks on and off for years because of it, never knowing why. You had no right to do that to a little kid. You’re sick! And if I ever find out you’re doing it to anyone else, I’ll report you.”
My mother stood up, glancing through the screen toward the house next door. “Lake, stop this right now. You’re making a scene. I think you’d better leave.”
“Is he your boyfriend now?” I asked her. I could tell by the look on her face that he was. “That didn’t take long. And you’re going to take his side over mine, I suppose? I’m telling you your husband’s brother used to molest me, and you’re going to continue seeing him?”
I’d gotten to my feet, and so had Blaze. He wrapped his arm around me.
My mother’s face was flushed in ugly splotches of red and her nostrils were pinched. “Stop this right now, Lake. You always were overly dramatic. Your father was right. You wouldn’t do well in the family business.”
“I don’t want to be in the family business. Why would I? My family was crap! God, I hated every minute in this house, every second you let Dad berate me and ignored the fact that my own uncle was touching me inappropriately practically right in front of you!” My voice rose, and my mother looked around frantically, like she feared the neighbors were listening.
“Which is worse, huh, Mom?” I asked, anger raging in my chest as I remembered being thrown out of the house without anywhere to go. “Having a gay son, or allowing an adult to put your son’s hand on his dick?”
My mother gasped and covered her mouth with her fingers.
“I’m tired of being a victim, so I’m standing here right now telling you what this man did to me. If you choose to be with him, don’t try talking to me again.” Blaze and I hadn’t taken off our coats, so I tugged on his hand, and we exited the porch door. I was shaking. The closest neighbor’s lights were on, and I hoped they’d heard.
When we’d circled to the front of the house, Blaze took my face between both his hands. “You did great. I am so proud of you. And I love you.” He kissed me soundly and helped me get into the car.
I felt like I’d run for miles, all energy drained out of me. I thought Blaze would take me to the clubhouse, but he drove to Khan and Stephen’s, helped me dodge their questions, and tucked me into bed.
“You can leave all that behind you now,” he told me, kneeling beside the bed. “It’s all over.”
I smiled up at him. “You’re my knight in shining armor.”
“Coming to your emotional rescue?” he asked, quoting an old song.
I nodded. He kissed me.
“You can tell them what happened,” I said. “I don’t mind.”
Within minutes, I was asleep.