CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
Lake
Blaze had called me “baby.” I’d acted like I hadn’t noticed, but of course I had. No one had ever referred to me by an endearment before, unless I counted Barry’s heavy use of the term “babe” when we dated, which I didn’t. Blaze also wanted me to sleep with him but didn’t try to initiate sex—which was puzzling and maybe a little disappointing.
The day after my “crazy run,” as I referred to it in my head, Matteo made a point of finding me. He remained in the hall, not coming into the room where I sat on Blaze’s bed.
“Hey, I just wanted to say I hope what I said to you that day—about not hurting Blaze—well, I came on kind of strong, and I’m sorry.”
Embarrassed about how he’d seen me, I couldn’t meet his eyes. “I understood where that was coming from. I don’t know what it is that makes me so uncomfortable around you, but it’s nothing you’ve done.”
“Okay. I just wanted to make it clear I really wouldn’t hurt you.”
I nodded and heard him walk away.
I was a little worried about going to work Friday night, but I didn’t feel afraid or edgy. Cal let me take his place on the pole, which meant I didn’t have to do any lap dances. With the tips I made, I felt it wouldn’t be too long until I’d be on my own again.
Blaze insisted he wanted me to stay at the clubhouse, but I had to go. I didn’t like living there for free, and the lines were starting to blur. Sleeping beside Blaze, which usually meant his arms around me and our legs tangled beneath the covers, was something I could all too easily get used to, and I shouldn’t. Couldn’t. Blaze and I weren’t a couple, even if that was what he really wanted from me. I told myself he didn’t know me. Lake Adams the victim. Lake Adams the unlovable. Lake Adams the loser.
When I refused to back down and stay, Blaze insisted on driving me to Khan and Stephen’s. Of course, Khan came out on the porch the minute we pulled up, undoubtedly wanting to see who had driven me there. I found myself wishing Blaze had taken his bike just so I could see Khan’s face when he saw me on the back of it.
“Hello.” Khan held out his hand to shake Blaze’s. I could tell he was sizing Blaze up. In spite of the leather jacket, Blaze looked like a wet dream right out of GQ, and even Khan’s high standards for me weren’t about to reject him. I made introductions.
“I don’t understand,” Khan turned suspicious eyes on me when he found out I’d been staying at the clubhouse for a week. “Did you lose your apartment for good?”
I sighed. “It was that dickhead Ron across the hall. He made up things about me to get the landlady to kick me out.”
“And she believed him?”
“I guess, but I also couldn’t meet the hike in rent.”
“You should have reported him to the police for attacking you,” Blaze said, and I groaned inwardly. I had not wanted Khan to know about that.
Khan’s brown eyes widened. “Attacking you! What the hell?” He waved us toward the house. “Come inside out of this frigid weather and tell me what I’ve missed.”
I watched in dismay as Blaze climbed the steps to the brownstone, but when he looked over his shoulder to make sure I was behind him, I couldn’t be angry that he hadn’t made an excuse to leave. For some crazy reason, the guy liked being around me, and that was new and difficult for me to reject.
Khan left us for a moment, and I shifted from foot to foot while Blaze walked around the living room.
“Really nice place,” he said.
“Yeah. It is.”
Khan reappeared with a tray of coffee.
“I hope you aren’t allergic,” Khan said to Blaze, lifting Liza Minnelli from the sofa and setting her on the floor so Blaze could sit down.
“No. I love cats.” Liza rubbed herself all over Blaze’s legs, and he scratched behind her ears. I could hear her purring like a motor. I definitely could relate; when Blaze touched me, I probably purred, too.
“Lake, explain,” Khan said. “You said you needed to stay with me this weekend, not that you’re homeless.”
“I told him he can stay with me as long as he wants,” Blaze said. “He just refuses to do it.”
“Lake knows he’s welcome here. What he left out is the homeless part.” Khan turned from Blaze to look accusingly at me.
“I didn’t want to worry you,” I said. “I’m going to find another place. I meant to start this weekend, but I didn’t have a car.”
“You could have borrowed the SUV,” Blaze said. “Or my bike.”
Khan’s eyebrows climbed. “I’m assuming you’re not referring to a Schwinn.”
Blaze smiled. “A Harley-Davidson.”
Khan took a deep breath and looked at me again. This time I wasn’t sure if it was disapproval at the dangerous vehicle I saw in their depths or speculation at my relationship with Blaze. It was enough to make me rethink telling him the truth—that we weren’t anything to each other. Or we weren’t going to be. Those sweet moments before sleep the night before hadn’t been of the real world.
“How have you been managing getting to work?” Khan asked.
“Well, I don’t have two of the jobs anymore,” I said. Might as well get it all out in the open. I explained how I no longer had the paper route and that Julianne didn’t need me at the moment. “The guys have been giving me rides.”
“The guys?” Khan looked from me to Blaze. I’d forgotten I hadn’t explained about the motorcycle club.
“I’m the president of an MC,” Blaze said. “A few of us live together in a house in Clinton Hills.
Khan pursed his lips but didn’t say anything.
My head was pounding—had been since the night before. I put my fingers to my temples and kneaded. “Sorry. I’m a little on edge.” I leaned back against the leather sofa and glanced at Blaze. “Might as well tell him about the reason for that, too. He’ll pull it out of me eventually.”
“Isn’t being thrown out of the only apartment you were able to afford reason enough?” Khan asked, looking from one of us to the other.
I closed my eyes, letting Blaze do the honors of explaining about my crazy run out of the Hard Time warehouse.
“Did you have some kind of flashback?” Khan asked, bringing my eyes open again.
As soon as he said the word, I was on my knees in the high school locker room, the entire varsity football team surrounding me and Barry ordering me to suck him.
I froze.
“Lake?”
I’m not there. I’m not there. I’m at Khan’s house. I darted my eyes around the familiar room.
A warm hand wrapped around mine and squeezed. Blaze was kneeling on the floor in front of me. I looked into his amazingly blue eyes.
“Hey, you’re okay. Everything’s okay.”
I took a deep breath and let it out, but as soon as I closed my eyes, I was there again, in the cold locker room, on my knees…
“Lake?” Blaze gently squeezed the back of my neck, and I realized I’d shut my eyes and was holding my breath, like my body had disconnected from my brain.
“Maybe Stephen—” Khan began, and I jerked up in the chair.
“No!” I stood up, almost knocking Blaze onto his ass, and went for my backpack. “Which room can I stay in?”
Khan looked at me worriedly. “Either of the extras is fine.”
“I’m going to lie down before I have to go in to work. Blaze, thanks for all you’ve done for me.” I didn’t look at him before turning and hustling up the stairs.