Friday January 3rd

 

“Hey guys,” Eric grinned when he opened the back door to his house. “I’m so glad you could make it.”

“Thanks for the invite,” Cate returned his smile. “How was your Christmas?”

“It was different,” Eric said softly, “but Luke enjoyed it.”

“I’m glad,” she patted his arm.

As she went to hang hers and the children’s coats up in the cloakroom, she turned and caught Eric and Nate kissing in the empty kitchen.

“It’s still a little weird to see, isn’t it?”

Cate spun around, “Abby! I didn’t know you were back in Seattle.”

“Since my son won’t come to me, I’ll just have to come to my son.”

Cate looked around, “is Sarge here with you?”

Abby grinned, “he’s in the lounge. He looks uncomfortable as anything but I’m so proud of him for coming here today.”

“What I said before,” Abby slid her arm through Cate’s. “I don’t want you to think that it was because it was two men kissing. It’s not that, I promise. It’s just that Nate and Eric have fought their feelings for each other for so long. It’s weird to see them being so openly affectionate with each other.”

“I know,” Cate said softly. “I know it’s absolutely none of my business but as much as I’m happy for Nate and Eric, I can’t help feeling a little sad for Allison.”

“Me too,” Abby nodded, “but Eric says she’s relieved that she can devote all her time and energy to Luke and the hospital now.”

The food was delicious and Eric had been thoughtful enough to make sure that there were some dishes that were suitable for vegetarians like Cate and Mateo.

“Look at that,” Abby nudged Cate later that evening. Sarge was sat on the sofa, flanked by Luke and Lola and they were trying to teach him how to play FIFA.

“Oh, I almost forgot,” Abby rummaged in her handbag. “Tally was reading this book while she was in Sacramento for Christmas and she suggested that we ask the author to come and speak at one of our events.”

Tally was one of the volunteers at the 33 Rocks helpline.

“I didn’t know Tally had family in California?”

Abby shook her head, “I think her family is originally from Utah but she doesn’t have any contact with them. Her parents are ultra-religious and when she refused to marry the man they’d chosen for her and admitted that she was gay, they excommunicated her.”

“Oh my goodness, that’s awful.”

“She asked me if we needed any volunteers to cover the helpline on Christmas Day but we already had Yasmin and Neela. When I found out that she was going to be all by herself over the holidays, I asked if she wanted to come to Sacramento. I had a spare ticket since Nate had decided to stay here in Seattle.”

“You’ve got such a good heart, Abby.”

“Nonsense, anybody would have done the same.” She tapped the book with her fingernail, “why don’t you have a flick through and let me know what you think?”

 

Later that night, Cate couldn’t sleep. She’d always found it more difficult to sleep when Kian wasn’t there. She reached over to her bedside table, switched on the lamp and picked up the book that Abby had given her.

One of the quotes struck her like the proverbial lightning bolt. It was from Michelle Obama.

“When I get up and work out, I’m working out just as much for my girls as I am for me, because I want them to see a mother who loves them dearly, who invests in them, but who also invests in herself. It’s just as much about letting them know as young women that it is okay to put yourself a little higher on your priority list.”

She couldn’t remember the last time she’d put herself anywhere on her priority list apart from right at the very bottom. Yes, Kian worked such long hours that they rarely had even five minutes alone together but she was in the very privileged position in that they had Nate. She could afford to take some time for herself every now and again without thinking that the whole world was going to collapse.

Cate closed the book and put it back on the bedside table. She flung back the covers and climbed out of bed. She walked over to the full-length mirror and really looked at herself. Her eyes pricked with tears as she realised that she didn’t like the woman who was staring back at her. Her inky-black hair was tied up in a messy bun. Her skin was pale and there were dark circles under her eyes. Layla was right; she’d lost weight over the holidays. She was wearing a ratty old t-shirt with a hole in the hem and a pair of flannel pyjama bottoms. Her toenails which she’d used to love painting a rainbow of colours were bare.

Was it any wonder that Kian didn’t want to come home to her anymore?