Tuesday January 21st

 

“How’s your neck this morning?” Cate texted Kian as she waited for the coffee to brew. She’d just dropped the children off at school.

“Do you remember when I broke my little toe?” Kian texted back. “Who would have thought that the tiniest little bone would hurt so fucking much?”

“Poor baby,” Cate chuckled, “maybe you should get a neck massage. Do you want me to text you Erik’s number?”

Her phone started ringing almost immediately. “You got his fucking number?” Kian roared.

Cate laughed. It was just too easy to wind him up. “Yep but he’s listed under Magic Hands rather than Erik.”

“Cate,” Kian growled. “After everything that’s happened this morning, I’m just warning you that I’m not in the best fucking mood.”

Cate poured herself a mug of coffee, “what happened?”

“My neck hurts from spending the night on that stupid sofa. The pillow I’ve got here is so fucking flat. The cheap razor broke so I couldn’t have a shave. I spilled coffee on my spare shirt so I’m having to wear yesterday’s again and on top of all that, the fucking coffee shop I go to every morning has started putting strawberries in their muffin.”

“Oh no,” Cate winced. Kian was allergic to strawberries; they brought him out in hives.

“At least this beard’s good for something,” Kian grumbled. “Fuck, I’ve got another call.”

“OK, I’ll see you tonight. I love you.”

“Love you too, angel,” Kian grunted before hanging up the phone.

 

Cate had a lunch meeting at the helpline with Tally. Abby was going to join them on Skype; she’d gone back to Sacramento.

Traffic was light so she got to the centre far too early. She was rummaging in her bag for her Kindle when she thought about the conversation she’d had with Kian. It sounded like he’d had a really rubbish morning.

She picked up her phone instead. If they’d had a late-night session, Jax would sleep at the studio sometimes and Liv had mentioned that she’d got him one of those new gel pillows, which were supposed to be uber-comfortable.

It was fun putting together a little care package for Kian. In addition to the gel pillow, she’d bought a down quilt, a razor just like the one he had at home, his favourite toiletries, several shirts and a packet of antihistamines. She paid extra for them to deliver it to his office that afternoon.

When she checked her watch, it was almost time for her meeting. She locked the car and walked across the small parking lot.

The main entrance of the building where 33 Rocks had their helpline had a revolving door. Cate stepped into it and pushed on the bar but it wouldn’t budge. When she looked up, she realised that Layla was in one of the other compartments.

“Hey,” Cate waved through the glass.

She wondered what Layla was doing at the helpline since Abby was back home in Sacramento.

When she stepped into the lobby, she expected Layla to come back inside but she was waiting on the outside. But when she got outside, Layla had gone back inside. Cate laughed, it must have looked ridiculous that they kept missing each other.

“What are you doing down here?” Cate asked when they were eventually both inside the building.

Layla blushed, “I was in the neighbourhood and um… I totally forgot that Mom had gone back home. I was going to ask if she wanted to grab lunch.”

“Ugh, I thought I’d missed you,” Tally rushed across the lobby. “You forgot your house keys, babe.”

Babe? That word seemed to bounce like a pinball off the walls of the mostly empty lobby.

It was almost comical as Tally leaned in to kiss Layla and then quickly stopped when she realised that Cate was there too.

“Um, thanks,” Layla grabbed them hastily. “I’d better go.”

She’d disappeared before Cate could say anything.

“Are you and Layla…?” Cate asked Tally as they walked towards the lifts.

Tally looked almost as uncomfortable as Layla had. Cate shook her head, “oh my goodness, that was so inappropriate. Please forget I ever asked you that.”

 

After the meeting, Cate drove across town to pick Mateo and Sierra up from school. Lola insisted that she was too old to be picked up from school by her mum and preferred catching the bus with Luke.

When she got to the school gates, Heidi was there. Her son, Diego, was in the same class as Mateo.

“I must be seeing things,” Cate teased. “It’s daylight and you’re not at the Taco Shack.” Heidi had worked at the restaurant since she was a teenager and a couple of years ago, she’d bought out the previous owners who’d retired to Florida.

“Ha ha,” Heidi stuck her tongue out. “Do you ever have one of those days where you think the universe has seriously got it in for you?”

Cate thought about Kian. She wondered if he’d received the care package yet.

“My assistant manager, Heather got engaged last night and quit her job. If it wasn’t for the fact that she’s totally left me in the lurch, I might have thought that it was super romantic. Todd’s in the Navy and he came into the shack last night and swept her up off her feet. It was a definite Richard Gere moment.”

Heidi took a big gulp of coffee, “my sister, Casey normally picks Diego up from school but she’s got that winter vomiting bug. She literally can’t keep anything down. I know it’s awful but I’m so freaking jealous. One of our cousins is getting married next weekend and she’s going to look like such a skinny bitch. I’m going to look like such a big, fat blimp – ugh, I can’t even look at my bridesmaid’s dress. It’s baby-blue satin! Franco has been trying to come up with some new recipes for the Shack.”

Franco was Heidi’s boyfriend and head chef at the Taco Shack. “I want to be supportive but they’re so yummy, I can’t just have a single spoonful.”

“Oh no,” Cate sympathised with her friend. “Did you want to go for a run tomorrow, after we’ve dropped the children off at school?”

“Not really but yes, I better had. Ugh, I’ve had to undo the top button of my jeans just so I can breathe normally. Why did I have to fall in love with a chef? Why couldn’t I have had a thing for personal trainers?”

Cate laughed, “I might see if Layla wants to join us?”

“Come on, Diego,” Heidi checked her watch. “Since Heather quit, I’ve had to leave Melody in charge. She looked extra Zen today. I dread to think what I’ll find when I get back there.”

“Why don’t I take Diego back with me?” Cate offered. “He and Mats can hang out together and then I’ll bring him around to the Shack around seven?”

“Are you sure you don’t mind?” Heidi looked so hopeful.

“It’s no problem, honestly.”

“Thank you so much, you’re a lifesaver,” Heidi gave Cate a quick hug and then ran back to her car.

 

While she was picking the children up from school, Kian had left a message saying that he was probably going to have to pull another all-nighter. Cate hadn’t felt like cooking so she’d taken the children to the Taco Shack for their tea.

When they got home, Layla was waiting by the back porch. “Hey, have you got a minute?”

“Um, OK.”

Layla waited for the children to go inside the house before speaking. “I know you’ve probably got some questions about what you saw today, with me and…”

She’d never seen her friend look so awkward before. “You and Tally.” Layla flinched hearing the other woman’s name.

“You don’t need to look so worried, Lay,” Cate patted her arm. “Unless you want to talk to me about it, it’s really none of my business.”

It was strange that just when her brother, Nate and Eric could finally be open about their feelings for each other, Layla was embarking on a clandestine relationship of her own.

“Please don’t tell Nate about this,” Layla looked panicky. “I’m not ready.”

Cate sat down on the bottom step of the porch and gestured for Layla to join her. “I’m not going to say anything to anybody, I promise.”

Layla let out a long, shaky breath. “Thank you.”

“Can I ask you a question though?”

“OK.” She felt Layla’s defences come springing right back up.

“Wouldn’t your brother be the best person to talk to about this?”

“I’m not like Nate,” Layla said softly. “I’m not gay. I mean, I’ve had boyfriends before and I never felt like anything was missing. I think maybe I’m bisexual.”

“Ugh,” she brought her knees up to her chest and rested her chin on them. “I don’t know. Nate knew that he was gay when he was nine years old. He had all those years to come to terms with it. I’ve had nine weeks.”

“You take as much time as you need,” Cate squeezed Layla’s hand. “It sounds like it was a big shock to you.”

“It was.” When Layla looked up, Cate was surprised to see that her friend’s pale-blue eyes were shimmering with tears. “What if I don’t want to feel like this?”

Cate wasn’t sure that she understood. “You and Tally looked really happy together.”

“We were,” Layla nodded, “at least I think we were. But then I saw how shocked you were when Tally kissed me.”

“I wasn’t shocked,” Cate tried to explain. “I was just surprised, that’s all. I didn’t know you were seeing anybody.”

“Tally is really open about her sexuality,” Layla chewed her bottom lip. “For her and Nate, being gay is just a part of their DNA but it’s not like that for me. It’s fundamentally who they are whereas for me, it would be a choice and I don’t know that I want to make it, not even for Tally. These last couple of months with Tally have been amazing but I always felt like I was on an extended trip to Vegas. You do things in Vegas that you just wouldn’t have the guts to do back home.”

Cate tried to lighten the mood, “yeah, like have a shotgun wedding at a fetish hotel.”

Layla smiled a little. “I know the world wouldn’t end if I told my parents and Nate that I was bisexual. You know how ridiculously liberal my mom is – she’d be so proud that she’d probably go out and get another bumper sticker for her car. Even my dad would be OK with it – I mean, he’s beginning to accept Nate and Eric’s relationship and when they first got together, Eric was married and had a young child.”

Layla looked out across the Sound. “I always used to think that my political beliefs were perfectly aligned with my mom’s but just lately I’ve started to think that maybe I was wrong and actually they’re more like my dad’s. I know deep down that it’s OK to be gay but I really don’t want to be, if that makes any sense.”

“Is it just the label that’s bothering you?” Cate asked. “Because that doesn’t have to mean anything. I was a teen mum who is still married to her children’s father all these years later and a WAG who doesn’t really like shopping for anything apart from books. Kian was a playboy footballer who’s now a successful businessman. My sister, Liv will tell you that she was a reckless drunk who’s now an active member of the PTA at her daughter’s school. They’re just words.”

Layla shook her head, “I don’t know. I just… I don’t want to be a political statement; I just want to be a regular person. I want to have a baby someday where the dad isn’t an anonymous sperm donor or a supportive male friend.”

“Have you talked to Tally about how you’re feeling?” Cate asked gently.

Layla shook her head, “what am I supposed to say, I really think I could fall in love with you but we’ve got to break up because I don’t want to be gay.”

They heard the sound of crunching grass and when they looked up, Nate was just coming back from Eric’s house.

“Hey,” Nate smiled. He looked so much lighter now that his relationship with Eric didn’t have to be kept secret.

When he got close enough to see his sister’s expression, he frowned. “Are you OK, sis?”

“It’s nothing,” Layla quickly stood up. “I’m just hormonal or something. I’d better go.”

 

Later that night, after the children had gone to sleep, Cate had a lovely lavender-scented bubble bath, changed into her comfy flannel pyjamas and fluffy socks and climbed into bed.

She purposefully hadn’t had any caffeine since lunchtime but she still couldn’t sleep. She didn’t just miss Kian’s physical presence in their bed, she missed being able to talk to him. She was really worried about Layla. It was horrible to see her friend in so much distress.

Cate hugged Kian’s pillow which still held a little of his scent. Why did labels have such a huge influence on all of their lives? Layla was going to break up with Tally because she didn’t want to be “gay”. Kian was sleeping on the sofa in his office because he wanted to prove that he was more than just a “stupid footballer”.

Her phone buzzed on the bedside table.

“So, I’ve just had a delivery,” Kian sounded amused.

“You did, huh?” Cate clasped a hand over her mouth, trying not to giggle. “Who was it from?”

“The card just says it was from my guardian angel. Have you got any idea who that might be?”

“Nope, not a clue.”

Kian chuckled. “I don’t know where you found it but this pillow is fucking fantastic. Thank you.”

Cate beamed with pride. “I’m glad you like it. Hopefully, your neck won’t be so sore tomorrow.”

“As much as I appreciate them, all these presents are making me suspicious,” Kian teased, “are you finally kicking me out, angel?”

“Oops, did I forget to tell you? Since you haven’t come home the last two nights, I’ve changed the locks.”

“I guess I’d better bring a locksmith with me when I come home tomorrow.”

“No, it’s OK, I’ll let you in. My other boyfriend should have gone by then.”

“Cate!” Kian grunted.

“Hey,” Cate giggled, “I told you about my other boyfriends from the very beginning.”

“And I told you,” Kian gritted his teeth. Even though he knew she was joking, he still didn’t like even just the thought of her with other guys. “I will never fucking share you.”

“Ugh,” Cate rolled her eyes, “you’re such a caveman. You don’t have anything to worry about. Even though you’re a raging workaholic, you always have been and always will be the only guy for me.”

“You’re the only girl for me, angel.”

Cate put him on speaker-phone, placed her phone on his pillow and snuggled down under the duvet. “How’s the deal going? Have you got much left to do?”

Kian sighed, “at least another couple of hours’ worth. I just wanted to try and catch you before you went to sleep.”

“Mm,” the timbre of his voice was lovely and soothing; Cate felt her eyes drift closed.

“Are you sleepy, angel?” Kian asked softly.

“A little.”

He knew she sometimes found it difficult to sleep when he wasn’t there. “I tell you what. I’ve got a really boring report to finish reading. Why don’t I read it aloud while I’m on the phone and see if that helps you sleep?”

“That sounds perfect,” Cate murmured. “I love you, Kian.”

“I love you too.”

He’d only been reading for a couple of minutes when he heard Cate’s breathing slow on the other end of the phone; she was asleep. “Goodnight, angel,” Kian murmured before quietly ending the call.