Tuesday December 17th

 

It was barely sunrise the next morning when Cate woke up, feeling the mattress move beneath her. She rolled over to face Kian’s side of the bed and brushed her messy hair out of her eyes. He was already dressed in his navy-blue suit pants and was just buttoning up his shirt. Her heart withered with disappointment. She really wished that somebody somewhere would invent a safe and legal drug that you could take which meant that you didn’t need sleep. At least then she and Kian could have spent some quality time together last night instead of squandering it all by being asleep.

“Hey,” he smiled, bending down to brush his lips against hers.

She was desperate for him to deepen the kiss but he pulled away. It was worse than if he hadn’t kissed her at all because now she was tortured by the lingering taste of him on her lips.

“I’m sorry I couldn’t meet you and Thom for drinks last night. I didn’t get your message until after midnight.”

“It’s OK. It was quite funny actually…” She was about to tell him about Brandon when his cell-phone beeped.

“I’m sorry.” He brushed his lips against hers one more time. “I’ve really got to go. I want to hear all about it later though, I promise.”

“Wait!” He was just about to open the bedroom door when Cate remembered that it was Sierra’s nativity play today. “Do you think you’ll be able to make it to Harbour this afternoon? The nativity starts at one-thirty.”

Kian frowned, “Damn, I’d completely forgotten that was today. I don’t think I’m going to be able to make it. I’ve got back-to-back meetings all day. On a scale of one to ten how disappointed do you think she’s going to be?”

Cate flopped back on the bed, “I’ll think of something.”

“I love you, angel. Will you apologise to Sierra for me?”

She felt like she’d only just gone back to sleep again when her alarm went off a couple of hours later. She quickly showered and dressed in a white blouse and black trousers – she had a meeting for 33 Rocks this morning – and was downstairs in the kitchen before Nate and the children.

“Mommy,” Sierra clambered up on to one of the stools at the kitchen counter. Nate had made an attempt at braiding her wayward black hair but Cate would have to fix it before she left for school.

“You should wear pink, it’s my favourite colour.”

“I hate pink,” Lola joined them. “You should wear purple instead; it’s fierce.”

“Nuh-huh,” Sierra shook her head. More strands of hair fell loose from her braid. “Pink is way better.”

Sierra and Lola continued bickering about their favourite colours while Cate finished putting together their packed lunches. “I’m glad you’ve both got such strong opinions about my clothing but why don’t you hurry up and finish your breakfasts instead or you’re going to be late for school.”

“Did you know that the verb “to pink” means to decorate with a punched pattern?” Lola took a slightly aggressive bite from her slice of toast. Her expression said that she was imagining “decorating” her little sister with a punched pattern.

“Play nice, Lo,” Cate warned as she came around the counter to sort out Sierra’s Medusa-like locks.

“Are you guys almost ready?” Nate asked.

Lola jumped down off her stool and grabbed the brown paper bag containing her lunch from the countertop, “I’m going to go and meet Luke. I love you.”

“I love you too, Lo.” After the back door had closed, Cate turned back to Mats and Sierra. “Have you got everything you need for school today?”

“Yep,” Mats nodded, slurping down the last of the milk from his cereal.

“I forgot something,” Sierra jumped down off her stool and ran upstairs.

When she came back downstairs, she was wearing the fairy wings from her angel costume for the nativity play. She’d left the rest of the costume at school but had refused to be parted from her wings.

“Sierra, you can’t wear your wings in the car, you’ll squash them.”

“Please,” Sierra pouted. “I’ll be really careful, I promise.”

“Mama, we’re going to be late,” Mateo grumbled from the backseat.

“Please,” Sierra persisted.

Cate shook her head. She didn’t have time to buy a new pair if Sierra damaged them. “Hand them over. I’ll put them in the boot.”

Sierra must have been able to tell that Cate wasn’t going to concede because she reluctantly gave in and let her remove the wings from her shoulders. After Cate had put them in the boot of the car, she leaned down and gave her two youngest children a kiss goodbye. Nate was dropping them off at school this morning.

“I love you,” she said as she closed the back door of the car. “I’ll see you both just after lunch.”

“Is Daddy coming?” Sierra asked, holding on to the headrest of the front passenger seat.

Cate winced, “I don’t think he’s going to be able to make it, sweetie but Nate and I will both be there on the front row cheering you on.”

After they’d gone, Cate quickly tidied away the breakfast dishes. It was only just after eight am and she was already exhausted; being a mum was really hard work. The conversation she’d had with Brandon drifted through her mind again. She’d always had a difficult time getting rid of unpleasant thoughts and the house was so quiet and empty, there was nothing to distract her. She quickly shook her head and grabbed her car keys from the top of the refrigerator.

After her meeting had finished, it was too early to go to Mats and Sierra’s school so she decided to grab some lunch at a nearby Mexican restaurant. They had several Christmas-themed tacos and so she opted for the vegetarian pear, pomegranate and tofu taco. She was seated in the corner by the window and while she was waiting for her food, she took out her Kindle.

The restaurant was near a cluster of office buildings and a couple of minutes after Cate had placed her order, three women were seated at a nearby table. They were dressed smartly and she assumed that they must work in one of the nearby buildings and were on their lunch breaks. As they enjoyed their margaritas, their conversation drifted across to Cate’s table. She put down her Kindle and sipped her soda, looking out of the window and pretending that she wasn’t eavesdropping.

The redhead in the cute, pinstripe pencil skirt was regaling her friends with the details of what had been the latest in a long line of excruciatingly bad first dates.

“Why are there no decent, single men left in Seattle?” she bemoaned.

“Define decent,” one of her friends asked. She was quite aggressive and reminded Cate of one of the judges in a documentary she’d watched about the ultra-competitive world of spelling bees. She had jet-black hair but the ends were dyed electric-blue.

“I don’t know,” the redhead put her head in her hands, “I’m really not that fussy, I just want a man who’s got a career, a sense of humour, doesn’t live with his parents and definitely doesn’t think that texting me photos of his junk is an effective wooing technique.”

“Maybe you need to stop going on Tinder,” her other friend cautioned. Cate didn’t need to check her ring finger to know that she was married.

As their conversation progressed, Cate learned that Genevieve (the redhead) was an architect; Cassia (the spelling-bee judge) was a newly-divorced business executive while Ellie (the smug married) was a defence attorney who’d recently finished her second unsuccessful round of IVF.

After they’d shared the latest challenges with their careers, Genevieve sighed, “if I do ever find a decent man, maybe I should give it all up and become a housewife? At least then I wouldn’t have to put up with pernickety clients telling me how to do my job all the time.”

Cassia laughed, “you’d be bored in ten minutes flat and you know it.”

Cate scowled at the remainder of her tacos. They were delicious but being reminded yet again of how society saw women like her made her lose her appetite.

 

After the nativity play had finished, while the children were herded backstage so that they could change out of their costumes, Nate helped Cate into her thick wool coat. “Thank you,” she smiled, squeezing his hand which was resting on her shoulder.

“No problem,” he grinned, kissing the top of her head.

“Sierra was so good,” he marvelled, looking across at the empty stage. “I have to admit I had my doubts before the play started as to whether she’d actually be able to pull off being an angel.”

“Me too,” Cate giggled. She loved her daughter fiercely but nobody, not even Cate, would describe her as angelic.

They waited for Sierra and Mats in the hallway with the other parents.

When Sierra came out, she was holding hands with a woman Cate didn’t recognise. “Mommy!” Sierra flung herself at Cate.

“Hi, baby girl.”

“You must be Sierra’s parents. I’m Miss Forrest. I’m a teaching assistant for Sierra’s class.” She shook both Cate and Nate’s hands.

Cate realised that Nate had his hand pressed up against her lower back. It didn’t mean anything. They’d gone through some really difficult times together so their relationship was more like friends than employer-employee. She could understand why Miss Forrest had automatically assumed that Nate was her husband.

“That’s not my Daddy,” Sierra blurted out, preventing Cate from having to decide if it was worth clarifying the situation for Miss Forrest. “That’s Uncle Nate.”

Miss Forrest blushed, “I’m so sorry. I saw the two of you… and I thought… Anyway, it doesn’t matter. I’m so sorry.”

“It’s OK, honestly,” Cate assured her. She definitely wasn’t the first person to assume that Nate was her husband. The truth was that he spent a lot more time with them than Kian did.

“That never gets old,” Nate smirked as they walked across the car park. “If Sierra hadn’t interrupted, do you think you would have corrected Miss Forrest?”

“Probably not,” Cate admitted. “I didn’t want to embarrass her. Plus, you’re kind of my work husband anyway.”

Before Nate could reply, Cate’s phone rang. She looked down at the display, “my other husband’s calling. Shall I see you at home?”

“Mm, Mats and I are going to stop by the library on the way.”

“Hey,” she said to Kian as she waited for Sierra to finish saying goodbye to her friends. “I thought you had back-to-back meetings all day?”

“I do,” Kian said, “but I felt really bad about missing Sierra’s play so I wanted to call and ask how it went.”

“She was amazing,” Cate beamed with pride, “but if you’ve got a couple of minutes, you could always ask her about it yourself. I know she’d love to talk to you.”

“Of course.”

 

That evening, Cate and Mats were washing the dishes when Kian called.

“Let me guess…” Cate tried to keep her tone neutral since Mats was close by. She finished drying off one of the plates and stretched up on her tiptoes to put it on the top shelf of the cupboard. “You’re calling to let me know that you won’t be home again tonight?”

“Actually, I was just calling to ask if you’ve eaten yet. We’re almost finished here so I was thinking if you haven’t, I could pick something up for us on the way home?”

“That sounds amazing,” Cate beamed, her spirits lifted by the thought of an evening with her husband. “No, I haven’t eaten yet. Instead of picking up a takeaway, why don’t I make your favourite Pad Thai?”

“Ugh, I can’t even remember the last time I had that,” Kian sounded like he was salivating at the thought.

Kian had said that he should be home by eight pm so at seven-thirty, Cate got the ingredients ready to make Pad Thai. She’d chopped most of the vegetables and the rice noodles were cooking in a pan of boiling water. She was just finishing grating the ginger when she accidentally snagged the tip of her finger against the sharp metal grater. “Ow,” she must have yelped loudly because Lola came running into the kitchen.

“Are you OK, Mum?”

“I’m fine, sweetheart,” Her finger was hot and throbbing and a bubble of dark-red blood burst from the wound and dribbled down her finger. “I cut myself while I was grating the ginger, that’s all.” She hurried across to the sink and ran her injured finger under the cold water tap.

“Do you want some help?” Lola asked, looking at the much-used recipe.

“What’s going on?” Mats asked.

“Mum’s hurt her finger, so we need to help her finish cooking.”

“Oh, OK. What can I do?”

Lola handed him the bowl with the egg in it. “Can you whisk that?”

Mats frowned, “how do I do that?”

“It’s like this,” Lola explained, showing him what to do.

“Be careful with the pan,” Cate cautioned as Lola put the raw ingredients into the hot frying pan.

“I know what I’m doing, Mum,” Lola insisted.

Cate found a plaster for her finger and was able to drain the cooked noodles and add them and the egg that Mats had whisked to the frying pan. She tossed them all together, added the amai sauce and seasoning and then used a teaspoon to have a quick taste.

“Can I try?” Lola asked.

“What do you think?”

“That’s yummy,” Lola exclaimed. “Will you make that for us one day?”

“Of course. Thank you so much for all your help.”

It was five to eight so Cate put the two plates into the oven to keep warm and waited for the sound of Kian’s car pulling into the driveway.

At five past eight, she assumed that traffic must have been worse than Kian had anticipated so she sat at the kitchen counter and amused herself by playing with her plaster. At ten past eight, she was starting to get worried so to distract herself she got her make-up bag from the bathroom and practiced her winged eyeliner technique. At quarter past eight, her hands were shaking with nerves so she picked up the phone and called the office. She wasn’t sure if she wanted somebody to answer or not. If nobody answered, it meant Kian must have left at the time he’d said; he was inexplicably late and hadn’t called or texted to let her know.

“Cate?” Ben sounded like he’d been running.

“Hi, I was just wondering if you’d heard from Kian at all. I’m sure he’s stuck in traffic or something like that but he said he’d be home fifteen minutes ago?”

“He’s only just left. We hit a last-minute snag with one of our newest contracts.”

“How long ago did he leave?”

“About five minutes.”

After she’d hung up with Ben, Cate couldn’t sit still but instead of pacing back and forth because she was concerned for his safety now she was just plain angry. She reached up and rubbed her eyes, only realising when it was too late that she’d just applied liquid eyeliner. A quick glance in the mirror revealed that she looked like she’d been thumped. She half-stomped up the stairs, only holding back from a full stomp because she didn’t want to wake up Mats and Sierra who were already asleep. She’d used waterproof eyeliner which was a devil to remove but at least it gave her something tangible to take her anger out on. When she’d finished, her poor eyelid was raw and stinging.

Squinting, she washed the pans they’d used to make the Pad Thai. The spicy scent was not only making her stomach grumble, it was also a constant reminder of the lovely evening she could have been having with her husband if he wasn’t such a workaholic.

When Kian still wasn’t home by nine-thirty, Cate removed one of the plates of Pad Thai from the oven. It no longer looked appetising; the sauce had congealed around the vegetables and tofu. It still felt wrong to waste a perfectly good piece of tofu though so she stabbed it with her fork and took a bite.

She felt dreadfully guilty for wasting food but she was still so angry with Kian for getting her hopes up and then dashing them that she couldn’t swallow more than the tiniest bite so she dumped the contents in the bin and left Kian a note saying his meal was in the oven if he wanted it.

She was just about to climb the stairs when the front door opened. Kian had a plastic carrier bag in his hand.

“I’m sorry I’m late.”

Cate would have rolled her eyes if they weren’t so sore.

“Are you hungry, angel?”

“Nope,” she scowled. Unfortunately, her stomach betrayed her and grumbled.

“Come here.” Kian reached for her hand and led her back into the kitchen.

He set the plastic bag on the countertop and pulled out the individual takeaway containers. “I thought it was too late to start cooking.”

Cate slumped forward with her head in her hands. How was it possible for such an intelligent man to be so clueless sometimes? He turned around to get a couple of plates and she waited for him to see the bright yellow Post-It on the oven door.

“Oh,” his shoulders slumped forward.

“It is too late for me to start cooking now,” Cate said, “but it wasn’t two hours ago.”

“Shit, I’m so sorry.” Kian spun around to face her. “Hey, what happened to your eye?”

“It’s nothing.”

He walked around the counter until he was stood in front of her, his thigh brushing up against the outside of hers. He cradled her face in his hands and gently tilted her head back. The bright light in the kitchen made her eye water and she winced.

“Angel?”

“It’s fine,” Cate tried to shrug him away. “I was a little too vigorous with my eye make-up removal, that’s all. No big deal.”

Kian grabbed a clean cloth and ran it under the cold water tap and then he gently pressed it against her eye. She was still annoyed with him but that did feel really good.

She reached up to take over holding the cloth and he noticed the plaster on her finger. He quirked an eyebrow.

“I was grating some ginger,” she explained.

“Wow, you’ve really been in the wars tonight,” Kian sat on one of the stools and lifted her up on to his lap. “I’m sorry again that I wasn’t here.”

“I don’t think I’ll be attempting to make Pad Thai for you any time in the foreseeable future. Why didn’t you text me to let me know that you were going to be late? I was really worried.”

Kian handed Cate a plate of the hot Pad Thai from the takeaway boxes. “I knew you’d be annoyed with me.”

“If I’m already annoyed, making me worry about your safety isn’t going to make me any less annoyed.”

“I know.” Kian reached for the plate of now cold Pad Thai that Cate and the children had cooked.

“You don’t have to eat that, you know?”

Kian kissed the tip of her nose. “My wife made it for me, I’m going to eat it.”

“OK but don’t blame me if you get food poisoning.”

She took great delight in watching him struggle through what she was fairly sure was the least appetising version of Pad Thai she’d ever seen.

After they’d finished eating, Kian stood up, positioning Cate so she had her legs wrapped around his waist and her arms around his neck.

“I’m too heavy for you to carry me like this,” she complained.

“Hush,” Kian chuckled, reaching across to switch off the kitchen light.

Cate squirmed, trying to climb down but he held firm. “If you don’t stop wriggling, I won’t be able to cop a feel.”

She raised the eyebrow above her non-sore eye and he cheekily pinched her bottom.

“I need to put the takeaway boxes in the recycling.”

“I’ll do it tomorrow before I leave for work,” Kian promised.

The thought of her husband doing mundane household chores made Cate raise her eyebrow so high, it was in danger of mating with her hairline.

They walked into the bedroom and Kian kicked the door shut with his foot. He went to drop Cate on the mattress but must have miscalculated the distance because she bounced off the side and slid unceremoniously to the floor.

“I’m sorry,” Kian tried really hard not to laugh at his one-eyed wife sat cross-legged on the carpet.

“I’m winning at life today, aren’t I?” She had to laugh because between her gammy eye, bleeding finger and now aching bottom, otherwise she’d cry.

“Come on,” Kian lifted her up from the floor and was careful to put her firmly on the bed this time.

“Can I just say…” he tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear and gently kissed the side of her mouth, “how very gorgeous you are.”

Cate burst out laughing, “can I just say how very full of it you are?”

“I disagree,” Kian tipped her backwards so she was lying flat on the bed and he braced himself on his elbows above her.

Cate reached up and stroked her fingers along his jawline.

Their lips were millimetres apart when Kian’s phone buzzed from inside his trouser pocket.

“Perfect timing as usual,” Cate muttered under her breath as Kian stood up to answer the call.

“Hey Bram,” he walked across to the wardrobe to begin getting undressed. “I just got home about half an hour ago. No, it’s OK. I told you Cate would understand.”

That should be my Native American name, Understanding Cate.

She reached out and tried to kick him but his reflexes were too good and before she could make contact with his thigh, he’d got a firm grip of her ankle. He continued the conversation with Bram while he tugged off her sock.

“Don’t you dare!” she mouthed, twisting to try and free herself from his grasp.

Kian lightly tapped the tips of her bare toes. “What?” He pretended that he had no idea what she was accusing him of.

“I mean it,” Cate hissed, no longer caring that Bram might be able to hear her.

Kian pushed his thumb into the sole of her foot. They both knew that she was insanely ticklish. If he moved the pad of his thumb even an inch, she couldn’t be held responsible for how loudly she’d shriek or more likely kick him with her other foot.

Fortunately, he let go of her foot and opened up the top drawer of her dresser. He chucked her a pair of pyjamas. She had a collection of novelty pyjamas and these said “I Like You A Latte.”

When Kian had eventually finished his call with Bram, Cate was already curled up on her side in bed. She looked like she was asleep because he could only see her almost closed gammy eye.

“How’s your bottom?” he asked, still trying not to chuckle at the memory of her bouncing off the bed and onto the floor.

“I’ll live,” Cate snuggled up to him. He was only wearing pyjama pants so his chest was bare. He lifted up his arm and she rested her head on his chest.

“I miss your heartbeat,” she murmured, allowing herself to be completely honest for a moment in the quiet of their bedroom. She pressed her lips to his skin.

“That’s good,” he joked, “because if it wasn’t there, I’d miss it too.”

“Don’t be a jerk.” She tried to turn over but Kian had a firm grip of her hips.

She wanted to ask what he missed about her on those long, lonely nights when he slept on the couch in his office but she didn’t want to sound like she was complaining.

She thought again about the evening she’d spent at Beacon 52 with Brandon and Thom. It had reminded her of her university days and the thrill that came with constantly learning and being challenged. The closest she’d come to feeling like that since she’d graduated had been when she’d competed on Stepping Out.

She didn’t want to take that away from Kian but she was struggling to find a balance between being understanding about the pressures of his job while also making sure that she didn’t neglect her own needs.