Maddy
I wasn’t sure how Milo would treat me. I mean, the last time I saw her, I’d been getting ready to run away from her brother.
From a family who had always felt like my own.
I’d expected her to ask me why, not offer a glass of wine while we all sat outside and watched the guys work.
Becca cupped a hand around her mouth and yelled, “Take your shirts off!”
Max scowled. “I’m not an animal, Becca.”
“You literally asked me to call you tiger last week when—”
“BECCA!” Max actually blushed and then, with jerky movements, pulled his shirt over his head. “There. Happy?”
I sucked in a breath; the man had an impressive pair of abs, which was all sorts of confusing, since he seemed like the type of guy who was allergic to exercise.
I was probably gaping because Becca looked over at me and just shook her head in obvious disbelief. “I gain weight from Diet Coke, and that one literally spent a week eating nothing but Krispy Kreme and actually gained an extra ab.”
“Bastard,” I huffed.
“And he sits. He sits all day long. Yeah, he goes for runs, but he’s not running for the sake of running. He’s running to practice for the zombie apocalypse, his words, not mine.”
Milo choked out a laugh. “You should have seen him in college. He used to tree-dodge in case they’d learned how to hide on the branches.”
Becca just sighed out, “Gotta love him.”
Colt peeled his shirt off next.
Milo whistled while he did a little Magic Mike dance her direction.
A pain sliced down my chest. I wanted that. I wanted… a relationship. I wanted… something.
And all I had was my stupid heart reminding me that I’d had it.
And let it go.
Jason didn’t take off his shirt.
And it felt uncomfortable saying something in front of Milo; she was being kind to me, but I knew if the situations were reversed, I’d be pulling her hair out and shoving her into the pool.
I was protective of my family.
My friends.
Not that she wasn’t.
Maybe she was just more mature.
“Reid, Jason!” Jordan called. “Don’t be the only losers clothed. Take it off!” She tapped on The Weekend.
Jason flipped us all off for at least five seconds, earning boos, and then finally relented and pulled off his shirt. Reid followed suit.
“I think my heart just stopped.” Jordan fanned herself. “Those men are lethal. It’s almost unfair.”
“I agree,” Milo piped up. “But Jason… I mean, I get that everyone was in love with him and Colt in high school, blah, blah, blah, but he looks so much better now, like he finally filled out, became a man. Right, Maddy?”
I choked on my spit, pounded my chest, and finally bit out an airy, “Yeah.”
Milo grinned. “He got addicted to lifting weights the way people get addicted to pie. It’s kind of stupid how much muscle he has.”
“I’m sure he’s lethal,” Becca added, “you know, on the force and other places…”
I felt my cheeks heat as I chugged more wine. Is it unreasonably hot out here?
Milo started fanning my face.
I hung my head. “That obvious?”
“Girl…” Jordan refilled my glass, “…they can see your lust from space.”
We fell into fits of laughter as the guys finished cleaning up.
“Yeah…” I shrugged, “…I can’t help it. Look at him.”
Jason’s skin was bronzed from the sun. There wasn’t one muscle that he hadn’t completely beaten into submission and grown. Hell, I wasn’t even sure I could find an inch of fat on that man’s body — but I’d love the opportunity to do a little research.
Visions of his mouth on mine, his hands in my hair, assaulted my brain until I was drooling over him like a loser with my mouth open.
His tongue had been hot.
His hands firm as he’d gripped my hips, as if he’d known just how to handle me and had wanted to throw me around a bit.
I sighed.
“Can I ask you something?” Milo said quietly.
“Sure.” I was sure I knew what was coming. I sucked in a breath, braced myself, and waited.
“Why did you run?”
The girls were silent, each of them staring at me, waiting for the whole sordid tale, when there really wasn’t one, just like there wasn’t a great reason other than my own insecurities about our future.
I hated myself more in that moment than I ever had.
Because my future had been in front of me.
My love.
And I’d turned on it and hadn’t allowed myself to look back for ten years.
Jason deserved better than what I had to offer. I’d known it then. I knew it now.
“Sometimes, we do stupid things, make decisions for other people based on what we think will happen. Jason loved me without a plan. I left him because I needed one in order to feel secure, and the last thing I wanted was for us to be eighteen-year-olds without a college education, a home, a future. I didn’t want to end up like my mom.” There, I’d said it. I didn’t tell them about the whispers I’d heard from other students about being a local girl and ending up just like my mom. I was too ashamed.
And I was already feeling like the worst daughter by mentioning my mom.
She’d done everything for me.
Never anything for herself.
Had kids, didn’t go to school, never worked a day in her life outside the home, and my biggest fear had been turning out just like her.
And resenting him, and our love, because of it.
“And now that you’re back?” She hadn’t probed further about my mom, but something told me she knew it wasn’t her place. This was between me and Jason… and the chasm of hurt that filled each year I’d ignored where I’d left my heart.
In his hands.
“I’m back to take care of Annabelle here.” I swallowed the ache in my throat. “My sister isn’t in the picture anymore, and it was getting too hard to do it on my own, so we moved back in with Mom and Dad. I was an editor for a while, but it didn’t pay enough, and with Annabelle in school and me trying to be the mom more often than not, it just wasn’t in the plan.” I’d left out the part about my sister randomly leaving for days on end, or my favorite… leaving her little girl alone in the hallway of my apartment building to wait for me to get home. Terror filled me just thinking about it.
“That’s it!” Max yelled. “We’re done being your slaves. Feed us, or suffer the consequences!”
And just like that, the moment was broken.
And I was so thankful I could have cried.
I glanced over at my house.
Mom was outside with Annabelle, watering the plants. I’d been gone most of the day; it was about time I went home.
I slowly got to my feet and went back into the house, careful to clean the wine goblet before grabbing my purse and making my way toward the door.
“Leaving without saying goodbye?”
Jason’s deep voice caused every hair on my body to stand on end in a magnetic, please-keep-talking way.
I looked over my shoulder and smiled.
Why does he have to be so good-looking? So commanding that the room stands at attention waiting for his next few words?
“I’ve been gone for a while, and Annabelle gets grumpy if she doesn’t see me.”
“When’s her bedtime?” He moved closer.
I frowned. “What?”
“Answer the question.”
He was crowding me, making it impossible not to smell his cologne, and the mint gum on his breath, and feel the heat from his body. “Um…” I felt dizzy in his presence. “…eight. I read her a story at eight, and she goes to sleep. Why?”
“Eight-thirty, it is.” He leaned down and kissed my cheek.
“But…” I frowned, “…if I remember correctly, after our first kiss and our skinny-dipping episode, which we didn’t really—” My voice faltered. “We’re still doing that? Didn’t the whole…” I gulped, “…you know…”
“No, you should spell it out, sweat a bit more, and keep looking at the button on my jeans like it’s going to fly off at any minute.” He grinned.
I pressed a hand to my hot face. “I meant—”
“Eight-thirty.” He bent near and kissed my neck. “Don’t be late.”
“Wouldn’t dream of it.” I breathed a sigh of relief when he walked away, only to be crushed with mounting anxiety as I walked back to my house and noticed that the chalk line he’d always kept drawn on the cement was almost gone.
I tried not to let it upset me.
But it was impossible.
He had been my world.
And now, we were living worlds apart.